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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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1:15

McGeorge

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/28

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate. Fear consumed him, and when faced with a decision, any decision, his inner dialogue drowned out any course of action. George stood there, eyes wide open, but seeing nothing. Hearing none of the angry voices around him, the hands grabbing his arms and trying to shake him out of his paralysis. Endless ”What if?” rolled around in his mind, and the crowd around him grew angrier and angrier, cursing and swearing. The girl at the register looked past

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1:14

George and the eclipse

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/27

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. The captain was always looking for things for George to do, other than pirate stuff. When the captain learned of an upcoming solar eclipse, he sailed into the total eclipse path. "George, I know what you can do," he said. "We don't have time to sail to Walmart to get those special eclipse filter glasses. Can you scrounge the cargo hold and make some for us?" George tried. And, well... After the eclipse, the crew were covering their eyes and

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1:29

George thanks God

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/26

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. After a long and difficult week, George muttered "Thank God it's Friday." The clouds parted, a light shone down, and a voice boomed "YOU'RE WELCOME!" The light faded, and it began to rain. George was left confused, frightened, and wet. "What the fuck just happened?" said George, shaking and holding on to the railing to keep from fainting. George looked around, but there was nobody there to ask: "Did you see that? Did you hear that?" It was just

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10:51

Weekly Challenge #996 – PICK TWO: What’s that...

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/25

RichardLisa Lizzie Serendipidy Tom Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Pack RICHARD --- Snooze --- What's that beeping? Mostly still asleep, brain barely functioning, it slowly dawns on you: The alarm is going off. Clumsily, you fumble for the hateful thing at the side of the bed, hitting the snooze button, before crashing back into the pillows for the next ten minutes. It's not like this in the movies. No -one ever hits snooze in films. They either hurl the offending

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1:16

George the sculptor

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/24

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He spent an unusual amount of time exploring the arts and humanities instead of hunting for treasure. Where other pirates would loot a museum, he'd walk the halls, listening to the tour guide, appreciating the art, and admiring the brush strokes and chisel angles. He tried his hand at sculpture, creating a pirate figure out of butter. It won second place at the State Fair. Proud of his work, he brought it back to the ship. His crewmates spread

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1:11

George and the avocados

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/23

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He fell for lots of scams. One time, he took a pamphlet from a group at the airport, and he ended up on an avocado farm wearing an orange robe. He enjoyed harvesting avocados, but missed being a pirate. So when the farm was raided by pirates, he asked if he could join them. It was his old crew. "No," they said. "We've been doing great without you." The last sack of avocados they hauled away was unusually heavy. Safely aboard, George crawled out

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1:12

George the garage sale addict

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/22

GEORGE WAS A PIRATE, BUT HE WASN'T A VERY GOOD PIRATE. INSTEAD OF RAIDING TOWNS AND SHIPS FOR USEFUL THINGS, LIKE FOOD AND AMMUNITION AND SUPPLIES, HE'D LOOT FLEAMARKETS AND GARAGE SALES, AND HAUL BACK A PILE OF JUNK. "THERE'S NOTHING QUITE LIKE THE FEEL OF A CLASSIC WEIGHTED KEYBOARD WITH SPRINGS AND INDIVIDUAL KEYS," SAID GEORGE, TAPPING THE KEYS AND HEARING THAT SATISFYING LOUD CLACK. "YOU DON'T GET THAT WITH THOSE THIN APPLE KEYBOARDS OR THOSE CHEAP PLASTIC ONES." "WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING

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1:26

George the storyteller

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/21

George had two tickets to The Moth. Nobody wanted the other ticket, so he went alone. He thought he was signing a guestbook, but it was the speakers list. When they called his name, George was confused, but they pushed him to the stage. He adjusted the microphone, took a sip of water, and said: "I am a pirate, but..." He hesitated, sipped more water, and said "But I'm not a very good pirate." He told stories for hours, the timekeeper just as mesmerized as the crowd. When George finished, no

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1:51

George’s escape room

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/20

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. After he was fired from his job, he built a pirate-themed escape room. Customers were thrown into a locked room and told that they were being held until someone paid the ransom. "This is lame," said a customer. "Where's the puzzles? Let us out!" Only when George got the money were they told they'd won, and were released. Pretty soon, George's escape room got a reputation as a scam. But before the cops could arrest him, George escaped, and had

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1:21

George the demon pirate of Fleet Street

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/19

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He always felt guilty about the men that his shipmates killed in battles. So, when the ship docked in London, he'd load a cart with their bodies and take them to Sweeney Todd's barbershop in Fleet Street. "I'll clean them up so they look nice and presentable for their loved ones," said the barber. "Now sit down and let me clean you up. On the house." Afterwards, George would load the cart with dozens of Mrs. Lovett's meat pies. "My best

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12:09

Weekly Challenge #995 – Reflections

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/18

Lisa Richard Serendipidy Tom Lizzie Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is PICK TWO: What’s that beeping?, Signpost, Sample, In the movies, Ordered LISA At the homeless Shelter Cheryl was soon to be divorced. She’d been volunteering at a pop-up feeding station for the city’s homeless. She’d watched her ex enter in the reflection of the tea urn and was pleased she was getting the chance to say goodbye. Despite a multi-million-pound fortune he’d said he was bankrupt so

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1:22

George the Buddhist

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/17

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. "This is because you do not follow the path of Buddha," said a strange man in a saffron robe. "All life is suffering. Craving causes suffering. Suffering, once identified, can end. Accumulating good karma can end suffering. Look within, and master your own fate." George looked within himself. Then he drew his sword and pointed it at the strange man. "Give me your karma," he said. The strange man laughed. "You cannot give or take karma." "Fine,"

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1:27

George and Mardi Gras

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/16

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Not that the Mardi Gras Parade Committee cared. They were looking for authenticity, not quality, and as long as George could stand on a float and wave, who cared, right? George showed up, expecting a big parade, a big party, and all the beer he could drink. That would make sense if the parade were in New Orleans. Or Galveston. But not in Fairbanks, Alaska. "Holy shit, it's cold," said George. George threw a lot of beads from the float. In that

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16:56

Weekly Challenge #994 – Mad World

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/11

LisaRichard Serendipidy Tom Lizzie Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Reflections LISA Mad World: Tears for Fears It’s a party; everyone’s my age. I think someone thought it was fancy dress – a nurse chats with someone in the corridor. Maybe I’ve had too much to drink because I’m not too sure where I am, everyone seems familiar but I couldn’t tell you anyone’s name. I hear the nurse telling someone that wants to leave that it’s a home for people with memory issues &

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1:06

George’s pumpkin

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/10

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. For the Pirate Halloween Pumpkin Carving Contest, other pirates made spooky and scary jack-o-lanterns. George made a cute fluffy kitten. The ears moved and eyes blinked, and it mewed every few seconds. "The heat from the candle powers that mechanism," said George. The notorious Blackbeard the Pirate was the contest judge, and he walked along the table, inspecting every entry. When he got to George's pumpkin, he looked it up and down, and from

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1:15

George the Porgie

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/09

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. The other pirates called him Georgie Porgie and sung the rhyme at him. "Got any pudding and pie?" they taunted. George checked his pockets. "No, but I have some tickets to The Cure concert tonight." The pirates cheered and George said he'd meet them at the concert. But when they got there, George stood them up. He pulled up the anchor and set sail for another town. "Assholes," mumbled George. As he steered the ship, he took a bite of pie and

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1:08

George and the treasure map

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/08

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. When the ship was overtaken by other pirates, George pretended to be a stowaway. "Hi, I'm Jim," said George, waving a piece of paper. "Have you got a lemon to reveal the secret ink on this treasure map?" A one-legged pirate on a crutch hobbled over to George and snatched away the map. "Aye, me hearties!" he shouted. "Fetch me a lemon!" While the pirates searched for a lemon, George jumped in the lifeboat and escaped. "It's just a blank piece of

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1:09

George and the birds

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/07

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He'd sit on the beach, watching the shorebirds dig for grubs, running along the waves as the tide came in. George skipped stones on the water, two or three skips before they'd plunk and vanish. The birds were hesitant at first, but eventually, they got used to George skipping stones near them. Then, George pegged a bird in the head, killing it. And other. Plucked and roasted over a campfire, they kept him going for three days before the ship

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1:22

George the Alchemist

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/06

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He'd heard about alchemists who spent their lives trying conduct bizarre rituals and experiments in the quest to transform various substances into Gold. Some had managed to convince kings and queens to grant them funding and offices for their research. George apprenticed himself to an alchemist, and after a few months, he learned the man's secret: Alchemy was a fraud. Just a way to make a living off of arrogant and greedy royalty. "So be piracy,

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1:19

George gives a presentation

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/05

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Still, even with his lack of skill, he had plenty of experience on the high seas. So he was always tapped to give a presentation at the annual global pirate conference. George made a point to take the batteries out of his wireless microphone so nobody in the audience could hear. He didn't want to risk waking any of them up. They'd all partied pretty hard the night before and were sleeping off their hangovers. "Great presentation," said the

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