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PODCAST

Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction

Childhood best friends, PataFria: a professional Dominatrix, mommy/grandma and overall jack of all trades, and Crystal: a die hard animal lover, mommy/wife, peacemaker and caregiver of MANY share hilariously dysfunctional stories from their personal lives. Navigating mental illness, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, views on current events, a little gossip, the dumpster fire of politics and so much more. “Nothing is off limits and everything is funny”

comedy improv

All Episodes

65:29

207: Arch Nemesis

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/03/23

This week we’re doing something different and sharing part of an episode that was exclusive to Patreon and we really enjoyed. We hope you like it, the full episode and video are on Patreon. Check out this week’s sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO For bonus episodes join our

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64:16

206: Wet Irish Meat

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/03/18

Sinus infections, vertigo and stomach viruses…oh my! Traffic has Crystal ready to leave earth and tummy tuck swelling is an unpleasant surprise. It’s now illegal to send surprise unwanted nudes in CA and Trump is going to jail. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

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83:14

205: Stay Out There

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/03/13

It’s a wild Saturday night! Crystal got crop dusted, smoking used to be really cool, don’t encourage conversation with strangers and please always ask before dropping some heavy loads on someone. Pata Fria can’t see and is still getting really manic. Crystal has taken steps to get her ADD under control and is drinking more water. Fords have no loyalty and being yourself will ultimately give you the best life experience. Check out this week’s sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the

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87:34

204: Where's Your Teeth?!

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/03/05

Crystal is planning a no dairy challenge, Peez is after all the babies, driving in the rain is scary and people are always showing up at Pata Fria’s door. Carolyn is doing and not doing whatever she wants, insulting racist humor isn’t funny and you don’t have to claim your whiteness if you don’t want to. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your

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84:18

203: Car Sandwich

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/02/25

Pay your bills. Crystal is on the loose! We’re experiencing a REAL winter right now and Pata Fria’s foot is probably fractured. Mayo is really important to Crystal, Pata Fria has been leaning on God and they’re both considering starting a church. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

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81:29

202: Budget TV Dinners

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/02/17

Valentines Day was cute, same day delivery is dangerous, we can definitely be bought and some people don’t have visual imagination! Childhood trauma is so so hard. We miss old TV dinners. Don’t let your kids date adults and Pata Fria has an album coming soon Check out this week’s sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code

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92:14

201: Sex Machine

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/02/10

Surgery is done! Pata Fria had a rough time but she’s finally home. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, re-use your towels and Robert Crumb is basically Crystal’s family. Check out this week’s sponsor! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO For bonus episodes join our Patreon!

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75:11

200: Hanky

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/01/21

It’s episode 200!!!! We’ve been doing this for 200 years. Jimmy is alive. Happy Birthday Stinkers. Build A Bear has gone too far. Pay attention to the messages the universe sends you and don’t forget your kegals. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

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81:37

199: This Is Honesty Hour

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/01/14

Did your family swim in garbage cans? RSV is terrifying. Dnt throw away cookies and try not to pee your pants. Everyone’s info is on the internet and if you have it in you, be a Dom. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

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66:23

198: Brown Couches

Hello Dysfunction ·

2023/01/10

Happy New Year!! Don’t pawn your family’s decorations for meth. Crystal was a really bad child. Girl you know it’s true is a timeless classic. Apologize in your partner’s love language! Being a woman is really risky. Movies from the 90s can be pretty great. Pata Fria is sensitive to criticism and mean parents get softer with age. For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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78:05

197: Couch Ham

Hello Dysfunction ·

2022/12/29

Welcome to the dysfunction, Crystal’s brain has fun commercials on loop. Please don’t put Pata Fria on the spot about a tip. Christmas was different for everyone this year, but let’s keep it cozy as long as possible. RIP to our HD family member Rahni 🖤 Try to stay loose if you’re in an accident and ask Crystal to show you her new sweats! For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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87:12

196: A Good Bay Area Welcome

Hello Dysfunction ·

2022/12/19

Pata Fria is really sick. Crystal has identified the local pervert. Spread kindness whenever you can and school is really a scam. Power really changes people and Crystal’s hypothetical questions are ENDLESS! Check out this week’s sponsors! BetterHelp Professional online therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners! For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s

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81:30

195: This Disease I Have

Hello Dysfunction ·

2022/12/11

Pata Fria is sick. It’s a painful sick. Don’t ask people if they just woke up. Keep an eye out for the local serial masturbator. If your burps stink please stay home. Sick dreams have been so fun and Suga Free is cancelled. Check out this week’s sponsor! • DIPSEA Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on! The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions,

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84:16

194: Who’s Knocking?

Hello Dysfunction ·

2022/11/24

We’re back after a week of chaos! Please provide others with the type of service you’d like to receive. Pata Fria finally got her tree up. Vaginal issues feel like bad karma and cartel videos are great. Crystal had a visitor, Peez is cussing, grave robbing isn’t always bad and don’t accept bad treatment from anyone, not even family. Check out this week’s sponsor! • DIPSEA Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on! The characters feel like real people with real

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5:12

193: Best Friend Energy - Ad

Hello Dysfunction ·

2022/11/14

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86:58

193: Business In The Bathrobe

Hello Dysfunction ·

2022/11/12

We’re back and better than ever! We love men who cry, break ups are embarrassing, we love meeting listeners and don’t lie about sleeping with people. Check out this week’s sponsors! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO Gladskin Gladskin is a product that works with your skin’s natural

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97:04

192: Little Mama

Hello Dysfunction ·

2022/11/05

Starting out with a little ASMR. They aren’t called “windmeals”. You gotta be a little well off to really enjoy Disney. Childhood makes you the person you’ll be. Nightmares have been really rude lately and unnecessary details are Crystal’s favorite. Check out this week’s sponsor! • Gladskin Gladskin is a product that works with your skin’s natural bacteria to soothe and resolve eczema, rosacea, acne and other skin irritations. Steroid-free and non-toxic, safe enough to also use on baby. Right

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104:48

191: Bang Bang Niner Gang

Hello Dysfunction ·

2022/10/28

Welcome to episode 191 Peez swings on everyone, genetics are crazy and we’re slowly becoming our moms. Don’t send illegal things thru the mail, Crystal has very sexual recipes and it’s so cute when you let kids dress themselves. Check out this week’s sponsor! • DIPSEA Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on! The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. If you need to wind down there are also wellness

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66:00

190: Pata Freak

Hello Dysfunction ·

2022/10/22

Peez introduced this episode, Crystal serenaded our intro, Toto is timeless and Pata Fria might be drunk. There’s a new Damato in the gang, 80’s Cabbage Patch Kids are the current obsession and we got some things to celebrate!!!! War times are getting intense, don’t make a joke of adrenochrome, iron lungs are crazy and Grandmacore is not what it sounds like. Check out this week’s sponsors! • Gladskin Gladskin is a product that works with your skin’s natural bacteria to soothe and resolve eczema,

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81:42

189: Ruby Edgewood

Hello Dysfunction ·

2022/10/14

Welcome. This is not a scam. Knees are getting injured left and right, Peez had a meltdown in front of the paramedics and Mexican pizzas have been subpar. Check out this week’s sponsors! BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO BEST FRIEND ENERGY Looking for your next podcast obsession

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