PODCAST

The Allusionist

Helen Zaltzman

Adventures in language with Helen Zaltzman. TheAllusionist.org

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All Episodes

3:33

Tranquillusionist: Nmiigea

The Allusionist ·

2020/03/22

This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, for the purposes of quelling anxiety and stress and sleeplessness, read the lyrics to ‘Imagine’ by John Lennon, with the words arranged in reverse alphabetical order. This episode resides at theallusionist.org/nmiigea; you can find all the Allusionist episodes, including other Tranquillusionists, at theallusionist.org. The original music is by Martin Austwick, based on the chords of ‘Imagine’ in alphabetical order. Hear Martin’s songs at

10:05

Tranquillusionist: Your Soothing Words

The Allusionist ·

2020/03/17

We interrupt the Allusionist break to bring an emergency calming episode. I asked you listeners which words you find soothing. Here they are. Put this episode on a loop to help you sleep; play it to quell your inner monologue; use it as an unreasonably long text tone; whatever you want. View a list of the words at theallusionist.org/tranquillusionist, and find all the Allusionist episodes at theallusionist.org. Martin Austwick composed the beautiful music. Find his songs at palebirdmusic.com, and

29:56

114. Alarm Bells

The Allusionist ·

2020/02/24

As the climate changes, so does the vocabulary around it - to amplify concern, to dampen concern, to serve corporate concerns… It is linguistically fraught! Journalist Amy Westervelt of the podcast Drilled, Alice Bell from the climate charity Possible, and Robin Webster from Climate Outreach explain some of the shifts in terminology, the squabbles and the industry interference - and how to communicate about climate in a way that does result in useful action. Find out more about this episode, the

27:07

113. Zaltzology

The Allusionist ·

2020/01/24

Today’s episode is something a bit different to usual. A few months ago, I was a guest on the podcast Ologies, a terrific show where the very funny and delightful and curious Alie Ward interviews an ologist of some kind - bisonologist (ologist of bisons), ludologist (video games), corvid thanatology (crow funerals!). Alie interviewed me as an etymologist (I’m not a qualified etymologist, mind; just an enthusiast), and we cover etymologies of words including ‘buxom’, ‘mediocre’, ‘coccyx’, ‘lacuna’,

15:10

112. Quiz 2019

The Allusionist ·

2019/12/24

For your last Allusionist of 2019, here is a quiz all about words for you to play along with as you listen. Get a pen and paper to jot down your answers, or there’s an interactive answer form all ready for you at theallusionist.org/2019quiz. Let me know how you score in the quiz a at http://twitter.com/allusionistshow and http://facebook.com/allusionistshow. The show will be back in January 2020. For all Allusionist episodes, extra material, transcripts, merch etc, visit

12:54

Allusionist special: Podcast Podcast

The Allusionist ·

2019/12/16

Here’s a special episode about the word that brought us all together… aaand a lot of you hate it. This piece was recorded in front of a live audience at PodCon in Seattle. Get your regular dose of the Allusionist at theallusionist.org.Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionistSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

35:11

111. Engraving part 2: Precious

The Allusionist ·

2019/12/16

Words engraved into metal are intended to last, though you don’t know who in the future is going to be reading them - your grandchildren wearing your wedding ring, the stranger who found your long-lost multitool, yourself at a time of need. Steven Yardley of Milne & Yardley talks about the disappearing craft of hand engraving. Max Ullmann of the antique jewellery shop A.R. Ullmann Ltd shows the objects engraved in centuries past. Wearing their grandmothers’ rings, Lisa Hack connects to family

27:49

110. Engraving part 1: Epitaph

The Allusionist ·

2019/11/26

When Dave Nadelberg of Mortified used to visit his mother’s grave, he would look around at the nearby gravestones and see similar - or even the exact same - epitaphs for lots of different people. And it made him curious: who were these people, really? What were their personalities, what happened in their lives? And didn’t they deserve something more meaningful, more personal, than these bland and repetitive epitaphs? So when Dave’s father died a few years later, Dave was determined

28:37

109. East West

The Allusionist ·

2019/11/14

On 9 November 1989, the demolition of the Berlin Wall began. Within a year, Germany was unified. East Germany dissolved and was incorporated into the Federal Republic of Germany, took on its currency and its rules - and its lexicon. Both West and East Germany had already been speaking German, of course; but there were differences, from the years of very concerted separation, the attempts at isolating East Germany from what was considered Western culture and capitalism, and the specifically East

23:35

108. Enjoy!

The Allusionist ·

2019/10/30

In the last Food Season episode of the current batch, we get into the language of restaurant service - specifically those terms that give some of us fiery indigestion, like “Enjoy!” or “Are you still working on that?” Restaurant psychologist Stephani Robson and former server Sara Brooke Curtis explain how what servers say is affected by such things as restaurant furniture, tipping, the need to turn a table around quickly for the next diners, and customer moods and caprices. Find out more about this

27:05

107. Apples

The Allusionist ·

2019/10/09

Late 2019 will see the biggest apple launch of our lifetimes. 22 years in the making, ripening on millions of trees into picture-perfect redness, here comes the WA38, more snazzily known as the Cosmic Crisp. The name was the result of a year of focus groups, taste tests and word associations - a far cry from when apples were named after whichever end of a cat they resembled. This episode is a collaboration with The Sporkful podcast, where we have released companion episodes about apples: hear us

20:37

106. Typo Demom

The Allusionist ·

2019/09/15

Ever misspelled a word or committed a typo? It wasn’t your fault; you were demonically possessed. Ian Chillag from Everything is Alive podcast introduces us to Titivillus, the typo demon. Find out more about this episode at theallusionist.org/typo-demon. The Allusionist's online home is theallusionist.org. Stay in touch at twitter.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow and instagram.com/allusionistshow. The Allusionist live show No Title is heading off on a tour of North America from

31:41

105. F'ood

The Allusionist ·

2019/09/03

When is cheese not cheese, or crab not crab? When it’s spelled cheez or krab or even ch’eese or cra’b… Novelty spellings for foods-that-aren’t-made-out-of-the-thing-they-sound-like-they’re-made-out-of go back a pretty long way - ‘cheez’ was THE cheese-like substance of the 1920s - but right now, with plant-based foods on the rise, we’re seeing more of them. Branding consultant and name developer Nancy Friedman casts her expert glance over the apostrophes and deliberate misspellings on foodstuffs;

16:06

104. Words into Food

The Allusionist ·

2019/08/17

It’s Food Season at the Allusionist. Last episode we learned all about compiling recipes, turning food into words. This time, we meet someone who turns words into food - no, she doesn’t make Alphabetti Spaghetti. When Kate Young of the Little Library Cafe spots a foodstuff or a feast in a novel, she finds ways to cook it in reality, whether it’s delicious (Babette’s Feast), evil (Edmund’s Turkish delight in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe) or poisonous (the crab

24:15

103. Food Into Words

The Allusionist ·

2019/08/05

When recipe writing is done well, the skill and effort involved might not be evident. But explaining the different steps clearly so that people of varying culinary abilities and equipment can cook it, and indeed want to make it, and translating flavour and physical actions and sensory experiences into words - all that takes work. Recipe writers MiMi Aye and Felicity Cloake and cookbook editor Rachel Greenhaus consider the verbal ingredients of a well-written recipe. Find out more at

18:10

102. New Rules

The Allusionist ·

2019/07/14

I don’t know exactly when or where, but at some point in the past few years, I stopped putting punctuation at the end of sentences. Why? The internet made me do it! Internet linguist Gretchen McCulloch, cohost of Lingthusiasm podcast and the author of the new book Because Internet, explains how the internet changes the rules of language. Find out more at theallusionist.org/new-rules. The Allusionist's online home is theallusionist.org. Stay in touch at twitter.com/allusionistshow,

26:34

101. Two Or More

The Allusionist ·

2019/06/26

Oysters, fragrances, canoeing, space stations, God, hats, and of course people - the word ‘bisexual’ has described a great deal of different things, with different meanings, in its fairly short existence. And that whole time, it has had a pretty bumpy ride. Mark Wilkinson studied 70 years of Times newspapers to trace how the British mainstream press used the term. Find out more at theallusionist.org/bisexual. The Allusionist's online home is theallusionist.org. Stay in touch at

27:41

56+12. Joins & Pride

The Allusionist ·

2019/06/06

To celebrate Pride Month, I’m playing two of the Allusionist episodes that have stuck with me the most during the show’s existence. The first is Joins. You listeners talk about your particular experiences in your trans bodies, dealing with the available vocabulary for sex and the associated body parts. Content note: the episode contains language pertaining to sex and the associated body parts. Second is Pride: the story of how that word was chosen in 1970 for LGBTQ Pride events. Find out more at

29:51

100. The Hundredth

The Allusionist ·

2019/05/27

To mark the 100th* episode of the Allusionist, here’s a celebratory parade of language-related facts: some of your favourites from the Allusionist back catalogue, some of my favourites from the Allusionist back catalogue, and a load of fresh facts making their Allusionist debut. *short hundred, not long hundred. Thanks for listening to the Allusionist! If you’ve liked any of the 100 episodes, tell someone else about it. Content note: this episode contains swears. Find out more about this episode

31:29

99. Polari

The Allusionist ·

2019/05/12

When there were no safe spaces to be gay, Polari allowed gay men to identify and communicate with each other, and to keep things secret from outsiders. Professor Paul Baker, author of the Polari dictionary and the new book Fabulosa! The Story of Polari, Britain’s Secret Gay Language, explains how Polari emerged from criminal cant and London’s theatres and docks to be used a code language for gay men in the oppressive 1950s - and then, not long after, it entered the slang lexicons of the general

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