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PODCAST

Couples Therapy In Seven Words

Dr. Bruce Chalmer

Be Kind, Don‘t Panic, and Have Faith. Psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer and educator Judy Alexander talk about relationships, interview fascinating guests, and answer your questions.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

45:52

Teshuvah and Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/09/22

What is teshuvah? And what does it have to do with couples therapy? We recorded this podcast between the Jewish High Holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, and talk about how the themes of return, repentance, and reflection, all aspects of the concept of teshuvah, are intimately related to the work of healing couples. We both get verklempt as we talk about it! Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr

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35:41

Helping Couples Deal with Infertility: An Interview...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/09/15

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/helping-couples-deal-with-infertility-an-interview-with-rena-gower/. Infertility is a very common issue for couples, and dealing with the stresses, the losses, and the array of difficult choices often results in conflict for couples. Our guest in this episode, Rena Gower, is a clinical social worker who helps individuals and couples cope with a wide variety of issues related to the experience of infertility. She brings her own experiences with

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42:19

Healing from Infidelity through Kundalini Yoga: An...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/09/10

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/healing-from-infidelity-through-kundalini-yoga-an-interview-with-eva-g-kane/. Can a couple heal from infidelity? Can you forgive your partner’s cheating, move past the pain, and rebuild your relationship? Our guest in this episode, Eva G. Kane, has been through that experience. Along the way, she became an instructor of Kundalini Yoga, which she credits with saving her marriage. And she wrote a memoir of her experience, called It’s Not Too

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01:04:37

Relationships and Parenting with Neurodiversity: An...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/09/03

The video of this episode is at https://youtu.be/OgPf_CjFYzo. What are the challenges of being in a marriage, and parenting, when you’re neurodiverse yourself and have neurodiverse children? What can everyone, neurodiverse or not, learn from those experiences? Our guest in this episode, Dr. Christopher Scott Wyatt, is an autistic self-advocate who also advocates for his neurodiverse daughters. We discuss relationships, parenting, education, and more. Dr. Wyatt’s blog is “The Autistic Me,” and he

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42:41

Helping Women Who Have Experienced Violence: An...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/08/25

The video of this episode is at this link. Rev. Cheryl Kincaid is a Presbyterian minister, former foster parent, and survivor of childhood abuse. She has facilitated groups for women who have experienced violence, and has written several novels about children in foster care who have been abused, portraying her characters in all their nuanced complexity. We talk to Rev. Kincaid about her faith, life, and work. You can find more information about Rev. Kincaid and her work at

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54:28

When Do Annoyances Become Deal-Breakers?

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/08/18

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/when-do-annoyances-become-deal-breakers/. A few episodes back we talked about the magic key that solves all relationship problems (not too grandiose, right?), which involves the ability to tolerate annoyance from others without getting into full-blown panic. This idea (also discussed in Dr. Chalmer’s Newsletter) prompted a listener to ask us about how to tell when annoyances have risen to the level of destructive. We talk about the nuances of

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01:00:48

Commitment, Aging, and Spirituality: An Interview...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/08/11

The video of this episode is at https://youtu.be/5Ve2itHMQLo. How can we age well? As the proportion of the population above 65 continues to grow, this question is occupying more and more of our minds. Our guests in this episode, Caryl and Jay Casbon, undertook an in-depth study involving extended stays with 13 different couples, interviewing them about their lives and relationships as they age. The result of this five-year effort is their book Side by Side: The Sacred Art of Couples Aging with

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52:51

Ethical Nonmonogamy, Kink, and Sex Therapy: An...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/08/04

The video of this episode is at https://youtu.be/sjNra-VO9Tc. What is ethical nonmonogamy? What’s the difference between couples therapy and sex therapy? And how does the idea that we’re each actually a bunch of people help couples? We interview couples and sex therapist Jodie Shea about her work. Jodie’s website is https://pillowtalktherapy.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s

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25:45

The Magic Key that Solves All Relationship Problems!

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/07/28

The video of this episode is at https://youtu.be/PJtoO-jJ6Wc. A magic key that solves all relationship problems? In a single phrase, yet? Well, okay, it does take a little bit of explaining. But it’s not just hype! As Bruce explains in this episode, this magic key is not only for couples. All sorts of relationships—even politics—can benefit. What is this astonishing phrase? Tune in and find out! Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message

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59:44

Toxic Workplace? The Seven Words Can Help! An...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/07/14

The video of this episode is at https://youtu.be/FX_Mh3GQ1SM. When Bruce came up with the Seven Words (Be Kind, Don't Panic, and Have Faith) he was thinking about couples and couples therapy. When executive and team coach Leanne Abraham encountered Bruce's books, she realized how helpful the Seven Words can be for organizations looking to improve their teamwork, atmosphere, and effectiveness. Leanne describes how she applies the Seven Words in her work with executives and teams, helping them find

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50:42

Erotic Orientation and Your Relationship: An...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/06/30

For the video version of this podcast, visit https://youtu.be/MZwyn82T7Kg. What is “erotic orientation,” and how is it different from sexual orientation? How can therapists help mixed-orientation couples? We talk about these and other fascinating sex-related topics with Dr. Joe Kort, a psychotherapist, presenter, and enormously popular TikTokker. You can find out more about Dr. Joe Kort’s work at https://joekort.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com

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49:31

Military Families, Trauma, and Relationships: An...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/06/23

You can see the video of this episode at https://youtu.be/8gn9CFL1b1M. Military families have to deal with a host of challenges, often simultaneously: frequent relocations, deployments, PTSD, culture clashes, and more. Our guest, Elizabeth Polinsky, grew up in a military family and married into one as well. She uses her expertise to help military families navigate those challenges. You can find out more about Elizabeth Polinsky’s work at https://www.communicateandconnectpodcast.com/. Do you have

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48:02

Empowerment Self-Defense and Healing: An Interview...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/06/18

You can see the video of this episode at https://youtu.be/DNXe-lRtaJw. Our guests today are co-founders of The Safety Team, an organization in Vermont with the mission, “Together we prevent violence, foster resilience, heal trauma, and build safe communities.” We talk about their work teaching empowerment self-defense to women. Both of our guests, Christine DiBlasio and Christina Allard, have achieved black belts in martial arts, and they have combined that expertise with their professional

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41:49

I’m Having Second Thoughts About My Relationship!

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/06/09

You can find the video of this episode at https://youtu.be/ELaNU3-0Nvs. Our sponsor is Laria Zylber, author of The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. Information at https://lariazylber.com. Is it normal to have second thoughts about your relationship? Well, it’s certainly common. How can you decide what to do about it? Is it wrong to “settle” if you could possibly do better with someone else? Are your second thoughts deal-breakers or growing pains? We talk about these issues, and help a

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01:07:19

Collaborative Reproduction: An Interview with Leslie...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/06/02

You can find the video of this episode at https://youtu.be/6URnyujz2oE. Our sponsor is Laria Zylberg, author of The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. Information at https://lariazylberg.com. According to the WHO, around 17.5% of the adult population experience infertility. Our guests in this episode, Leslie Schreiber and Angela Paoli, work with couples who have decided to become parents using collaborative reproduction—in other words, with the help of others such as gestational carriers and

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44:38

Erotica, Toys, Porn: What’s Okay in Your Relationship?

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/05/29

You can find the video of this episode at https://youtu.be/aOi3PA1fs8s. Our sponsor is Laria Zylberg, author of The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. Information at https://lariazylberg.com. In this episode, we talk about ways to spice up your love life. There’s erotica (see our sponsor!), toys, porn, and all sorts of things people add to their sexual repertoire. But what’s spicy for some people is taboo for others. How can you decide? Should you risk bringing up your fantasies with your

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41:52

Co-Parenting with a Narcissist or Other Difficult...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/05/19

You can find the video of this episode at https://youtu.be/hqQNIH0EbLQ. We all encounter difficult people—and are sometimes difficult ourselves! But sometimes we’re in situations where we have to find a way to work with people who are more than difficult—people who qualify for diagnoses of narcissism or other toxic personality disorders. What if you have to co-parent with someone like that? Our guest, Teresa Lodato, tells us about her own experiences in that situation, and how she helps her clients

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39:40

I’m Pregnant and Engaged, But I Have Doubts About Both!

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/05/12

To see the video of this episode, visit https://youtu.be/wqdfl-Rt4Pw. Having doubts about your relationship? Or have you found out you’re pregnant, and having doubts about what to do about that? We received a question from a woman who was struggling with both of those doubts. How can you handle that? Your friends keep telling you to dump him, but your heart says you love him. Is there a path to healing? Want to suggest a topic or someone for us to interview? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a

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39:35

Okay, I Had an Affair. Why Isn’t Saying Sorry Enough?...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/05/05

To see the video of this episode, visit https://youtu.be/_Bh4GDawrcw. There are lots of books out there about how to survive when you’ve been cheated on. But our guest in this episode, Dr. Deborah Miller, has written one for the cheater, called More Than Sorry: 5 Steps to Deepen Your Apology After You Have Committed Infidelity. We talk about how someone who has cheated can do the inner work they need to be able to offer a genuine apology, forgive themselves, and be available to help their

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01:10:02

Genocide, Optimism, and Belly Dancing: An Interview...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2023/05/02

To see the video of this episode, visit https://youtu.be/d36N0HnPuMo. Wait, what? Genocide, optimism, and belly dancing in the same conversation? Our guests, Emily Bashah and Paul Johnson, cover those topics and more. Emily is a psychologist who has worked on high-profile cases covering terrorism. Her parents survived Saddam Hussein’s campaign of genocidal violence against Jews in Iraq in the 1960s and 70s. Paul’s background is as a politician (he was mayor of Phoenix when he was 30 years old) and

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