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PODCAST

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

Heidi Benjaminsen

Heidi Benjaminsen helps women transform stress into calm, fear into confidence and anxiety into peace when sending their children to college! Listen to hear tips and tools so you can be someone that your child WANTS to call and connect with. Learn more at www.heidibenjaminsen.com!

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

22:18

Ep. 60 Other People's Feelings

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/09/30

Everybody's emotions that pass through our daily lives are like EMOTIONAL BAGS going by on a baggage claim conveyor belt. We get to take close examination and decide which bags are our responsibility - which are ours to pick up - and which should keep on going. The more emotional bags we pick up, the less energy we have to manage our own emotions. I've taught you that you can't create anything that another person feels - but that doesn't mean we don't want to be kind, considerate and compassionate

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23:04

Ep. 59 Wishing People Were Different

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/09/23

We all have a list of WHO we want to change so we can feel better. If our spouse would just do this or be that, we could then feel appreciated and loved. If our mother was kinder or more supportive or more whatever, we'd feel prouder or more secure. But we have NO control over other people and ALL of this wishing builds walls between us and other people. These walls distract us from the real work of accepting and loving other people. Heidi teaches tools to dismantle these walls and why nobody

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22:15

Ep. 58 Self-Pity versus Self-Love

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/09/16

Who thinks their life is harder than anyone else's life? That's the general theme of people who live in self-pity. It's an emotion that keeps us stuck so we can't make any progress or change. Learn how to identify the daily emotions of self-pity and pivot what you're thinking to love yourself and your life more. It's easier than you think to find more self-love, self-compassion, and curiosity to create a happier life!

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16:21

Ep. 57 Three Easy Ways to Change Your Focus

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/09/09

One of the easiest ways to release the tight grip our brain has on judgment, opinions and painful beliefs is to add simple words before or after these thoughts. By making very small changes, our focus shifts. We see new solutions, new possibilities, our anxieties and stress are reduced. We suddenly see how we are much more like other people and our frustration calms down quite a bit. Listen as Heidi walks you through these 3 easy tools to add to your toolkit to start seeing other people and

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59:24

Ep. 56 Talking To Teens about Pornography: Interview...

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/09/02

Pornography is very accessible to our teens and we need to have the tools to talk to them about it. Heidi interviews certified life coach Zach Spafford, who specializes in helping men overcome addictive behaviors, for insight into having conversations with our teens. Zach gives incredibly useful tools on what to say, what NOT to say or do (freak out!), why our brains like pornography and hope if anyone you know struggles with this over-desire.

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21:36

Ep. 55 When Life Doesn't Go As Planned

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/08/26

We all have plans, goals and dreams for our lives. Sometimes, though, things happen in life that aren't what we planned for. A worldwide pandemic, a divorce, a diagnosis, delaying a return to a career, a premature death and more. Learn how to adjust your mindset and several tools to help you show up as the person you WANT to be. It could be our vision wasn't right and life is exactly what we need to be the best version of ourselves.

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24:25

Ep. 54 How To Stop People-Pleasing

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/08/19

People-pleasing is when we try to manipulate and control other people's emotions at the expense of our own needs. We show up as our fake selves and we create disappointment and resentment - for ourselves. Listen as Heidi gives many examples of why it is dangerous and HOW to overcome this addictive tendency we all have. When we learn to manage it, we become calm, confidence, relaxed and able to show up as our REAL selves. Which most people will love.

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19:13

Ep 53 Being Right

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/08/12

More than anything, our brains want to be right. They think being right protects us. Instead, this desire creates anxiety, stress, and frustration. Thinking we are right creates blinders that block other options and create judgement and criticism. In this episode learn why our brain has tricked us into always wanting to be right. Listen as Heidi teaches you tools to loosen your grip on needing to be right and how to decide when you are right... and maybe wrong.

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21:15

Ep. 52 The Easy or The Hard Way

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/08/05

Doing "hard things" is often noble and where we learn and grow. But often we make things MUCH harder than they need to be, unintentionally. By learning to pause, and ask ourselves a few questions, we can identify "easier" routes. Taking these routes helps us have more energy for bigger priorities in life, while still reaching the same goals. Listen as Heidi gives examples of when it's important to pause and examine our reasons, our beliefs and seek "easier" solutions.

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35:43

Ep. 51 Teen Anxiety: Interview with Daelene Byam

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/07/29

Teens experiencing anxiety need tools, support and coaching tailored to their needs and circumstances. In this special episode, Heidi interviews certified life coach, Daelene Byam, a teen anxiety coach. She shares personal experiences from her own children, as well as tools she teaches clients. She helps listeners identify when coaching could help their child and how to approach your teen about coaching. www.daelenebyamcoaching.com

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21:16

Ep 50 All or Nothing Mentality

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/07/22

All or nothing mentality, black and white thinking, good and bad... it all creates blinders and stress in our life. It is a very limiting and "perfectionist" way of life. When we only see two options, we cause anxiety and pressure and we block out much of reality. Learn all the ways this thinking may show up in your life and how to reduce it.

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15:08

Ep. 49 When Your Teen Says "I Hate You"

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/07/15

It's inevitable and it hurts. Our teens lash out, from their own sense of lack of control, and say "I hate you". Then you want to crumble, cry and lash out at them. Don't. Learn how to identify what they are REALLY saying and how to respond calmly, with a lot of love for yourself and for them. You can model for them how to handle these emotional exchanges. And I have good news - their words are actually not about you.

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23:51

Ep. 48 Hurt People Hurt People

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/07/08

When we feel hurt, our basic instinct is to want to hurt either the person we think is hurting us, or to hurt other people in our life. We can get control of our emotions when we feel this hurt by pausing and doing several exercises. We can stop the hurt cycle by learning to be responsible for our emotions and our actions. Because, regardless of how another person acts to try to hurt us, we can also choose how we react. And love is always an option.

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11:56

Ep. 47 Anti-Racism and Confidence

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/07/01

Confidence and self-worth are key to us identifying and changing our racist behaviors and attitudes. We need to be willing to admit mistakes, weaknesses and flaws in order to change and be a better version of ourselves. Just like the kintsugi art of filling pottery cracks with the most precious materials, we can heal our racist past and make ourselves and our relationships much more valuable. This work will require confidence!

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15:24

Ep. 46 What Motivates Us

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/06/24

We get a lot of insight into our own behaviors, desires and those of our children when we understand The Motivational Triad - the 3 most basic motivators that our brain defaults to. Our brain wants us to seek pleasure, avoid pain and conserve energy - because it wants to keep us alive. This worked well for our ancestors but today it is working against us. Learn more about the 3 motivating desires and how to override these desires with our higher brain.

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17:21

Ep. 45 How To Calmly Discuss Grades with Teens

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/06/17

The most heated exchanges with our children are usually about their grades. And this is because we make their grades mean SO much about them, their future, their potential and even how good a parent WE are. Getting mad doesn't motivate them to change and it blocks us from really seeing what is going on. Learn practical tools on how to calmly talk to your child about their grades so they see you love and support them.

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14:55

Ep. 44 Listen to Understand

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/06/10

We often hear another person or listen to their words with the intent to reply to them. When in reality, we need to be listening with the intent to UNDERSTAND them. To see, acknowledge, witness their point of view. Heidi teaches you why this is hard work, what our brains naturally want to do, and then tips to really listen. Everyone has something to teach us (including our teenagers!), if we are willing and open to really listen to them.

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25:21

Ep. 43 Lens #5 You Are Lazy

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/06/03

It's easy to see our children as if they are the glass half-empty... only seeing what they AREN'T doing. We think good parents always push their children to reach "their potential". It sounds good, until we end up shaming our children for not being able to meet some arbitrary standard. All because we want to feel like successful parents. Listen to hear different ways to see your child's potential and love them exactly as they are.

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22:53

Ep 42 Lens #4: The Perfectionist Lens

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/05/27

When we fear our children failing or feeling any disappointment, we are seeing them through a perfectionist lens. Learn why it's true that "A Perfectionist walk a tight rope over the valley of low self-esteem. "Our vision of our child could be distorted by our own definitions of success and failure - and what they mean about our worth and value. Learn to separate your own sense of self from your child's accomplishments.

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20:30

Ep 41 Lens #3: I Worry About You

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen ·

2020/05/20

Our brain wants us to think that worrying about our children is necessary. Instead, all of the thoughts of what COULD go wrong in their life or what danger they MIGHT encounter is actually robbing us of feeling the real emotions of today with our children. When we look through Lens #3 thinking so many worry thoughts, we miss seeing exactly what is going on today. Learn how to clear off this lens to really enjoy the present and reduce worry and anxiety!

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