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PODCAST

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined: Parenting Teens and Finding Yourself Again—with Small Jar Coach

Master Coach Jennifer Collins

Are you stuck between wanting to guide your teen or college kid and knowing it’s time to start letting go? Welcome to The Almost Empty Nest Podcast, where moms of teens and college kids reframe what ‘letting go’ really means and stop second-guessing themselves to feel more connected, confident, and at peace in this chapter of motherhood. Each week, you’ll learn how to: • Break free from mindset traps like catastrophizing, mom guilt, and the illusion of control • Build a stronger

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

22:48

80. Trap #12 - Mind reading

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/12/16

Trap #12 - Brought to you from the parking lot of the University of Delaware. Our mind's ability to interpret the facial expressions and behaviors of others is a beautiful asset, and also a terrible trap. Join me in this episode to discover why.

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25:04

79. Trap # 11 - Fear of the Unknown

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/12/09

One of the most universal comments I’ve heard from many of my clients is, “I don’t know what my life’s going to look like after…my kid leaves home… or because of this or that circumstance." In truth, we don’t ever know what our life is going to look like. But our minds like to be certain. They like to be able to predict the future so that we can either relax or prepare for the worst. While we can beat ourselves up for looking into the future with dread, as if there's something wrong with us

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21:49

78. Trap #10 - Labeling

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/12/02

I'm back with another episode on the mindset traps we face as moms with teens, as we approach the empty nest. This week, I tackle "labeling". This trap refers to our brains subconscious tendency to want to assign a simple, generalized judgment to describe characteristics of personality or behavior. On the face of it, it doesn't seem like a huge problem until we explore the unintended consequences. Words do matter. Join me as I explore how.

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24:52

77. Being Present - Part II

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/11/25

We often think "being present" means that we are able to cultivatea sense of peace and happiness in our lives. As much as we might want to be present, particularly during the holidays, this can be much harder than it seems. Last week, I explored the concept of holiday ambivalence - both loving and hating the holidays - and how this creates, rather than peace, a conflict in our mind as we beat ourselves up for not being more grateful and happy. I invited you to accept this concept of

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27:11

76. Being Present - Part I

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/11/18

When I think about holidays, I feel, on the one hand, an incredible sense of excitement and joy just by thinking about the celebratory days ahead…but I also feel a sense of overwhelm, and if I’m honest, sometimes a little dread. I often try to approach these special times by reminding myself that I want to “stay present”…enjoy every precious moment. But somehow, every year, I get sucked in by the overwhelm, dread, frustration, and honestly a little disappointment that I wasn’t able to stay

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26:31

75. The College Visit

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/11/11

In the span of one weekend, I went on college admissions tours at two schools with my youngest, who is a junior in high school, and then I went to Parents Weekend to visit my oldest, who is a freshman in college. These moments with our kids can carry so much emotion - pride, joy, and excitement mixed with anxiety, sadness, dread and insecurity. Join me as I reflect on my college visits - both this time and back when my oldest was going through the process - and how much I have grown and

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25:36

74. Trap #9 - Ruled by Emotion

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/11/04

Emotional reasoning is when we use our feelings as evidence that there’s a problem. I actually think this mindset trap is one of the most insidious thought errors we can fall into. Unlike some of the others that I’ve been exploring in this series on mindset traps we fall into as moms of teens as we approach the empty nest, this is a trap we don’t hear much about. When we engage in emotional reasoning, the reason this is such a challenging trap is that we often think we're just observing the

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24:29

73. Trap #8 - Identity Crisis

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/10/28

Becoming a mother has been the most important role that I’ve ever taken on. The importance and worthiness of caring for these humans being has eclipsed every other priority of my life. Being a mother has become my “identity.” But even when we have strong relationships with our kids, it’s normal for them to want to pull away as they approach college. Their desire for independence and autonomy is a normal part of the developmental process. So here we are, as moms…facing an identity crisis

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59:20

72. Conversation with Ali Flynn - Mindset of Raising...

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/10/21

I'm excited to welcome Ali Flynn, founder of Hang in There, Mama, to the Small Jar Podcast this week. Ali and I share a mission of wanting to support women as they manage the ever-evolving relationship they have with their teens, and themselves, as their kids grow up. We approached this conversation from a place of curiosity, wanting to explore the different ways we have approached raising our kids - Ali a mother a four girls and me a mom of two boys. Our goal is not to provide advice, but

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23:48

71. Trap #7 - Guilt

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/10/14

I’ve been exploring this series on mindset traps, and I bet you didn’t know that “guilt” was one of them. Let’s be honest, if there was a state of being that many of us moms face, it’s the state of feeling guilty.The technical term for the trap I’m exploring today is called “personalization.” Now I’ve titled this trap “guilt” for simplicity, because I am quite sure many of us identify with that word much more easily than the word “personalization”, which is the thought error, or the

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26:15

70. Trap #6 - Perfectionism

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/10/07

There are some among us who would call ourselves “perfectionists” and maybe others of us who wouldn’t. But what do you think the oppositive of being a perfectionist is? Have you ever thought about that? In this episode, we explore the mindset trap ofperfectionism and how it relates to our lives as moms with teens as we approach the empty nest. Here's a teaser - did you know that perfectionism actually gives us the illusion of safety. Listen to learn more.

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22:44

69. Trap #5 - All or Nothing

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/09/30

"All-or-nothing thinking" is a mindset trap where we can view situations in extremes. For example we think things are entirely good, or entirely bad, with no middle ground. Now, you can imagine why this type of thinking isn’t always helpful, but as with the other mindset traps, I actually think it’s more important to recognize WHY our brains engage in this type of thinking in the first place. Because again, as with the other traps, it’s perfectly normal that our brains do this. Let's

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25:15

68. Trap #4 - Comparison

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/09/23

We are hard-wired we are to compare ourselves to others. We don't like to admit it, because we think judging others is "bad", and we know it doesn’t feel good when others are judging us. But the reality is that this activity of our brain is subconscious and automatic. In fact, like the other mindset traps I've been exploring in this series, the "comparison trap" is our brain's way of keeping us safe and comfortable. But if we allow our brain to fall into this trap without supervision, we

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21:17

67. Trap #3 - Validation Seeking

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/09/16

Over the past few episodes of the Small Jar podcast, we have bene exploring the mindset traps of life with teens and the empty nest. We've covered confirmation bias and catastrophizing. This week, we explore validation seeking, orlooking for external validation, approval, or recognition from others. Feeling good when others give us love or praise is natural. The question we include in this episode is why do we sometimes feel like we need this external validation in order to feel what we

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24:42

66. Trap #2 - Catastrophizing

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/09/09

This is the second in a new series on the Small Jar Podcast about the mindset traps that keep us stuck in anxiety, sadness, and an inability to move forward. In this episode, I explore the trap of catastrophizing, or ruminating in the worst case scenario. While this mindset trap keeps us cycling in worry, there are reasons that our minds engage in this type of thinking. The key to overcoming catastrophizingis to understand how it helps us, and how it does not.

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25:06

65. Trap #1 - Confirmation Bias

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/09/02

Mindset traps are available to all of us, at all stages of our lives. But for those of us navigating life with teens and the transition to the empty nest, we can fall prey to these traps in a way that keeps us stuck in anxiety, sadness, and an inability to move forward. In this episode, I explore the trap of confirmation bias, and how this tendency of our brains toreinforce our own view of the world can create results that are the opposite of what we really want. This is the first in a new

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21:10

64. Running Out of Time

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/08/26

Have you heard the statistic that by the time your child is 18 that you'll have spent 90% of the time that you'll ever spend with them in your life? This is the kind of information that can not only cause us to think that we've wasted some of the most precious years of our kids' lives, but also make us think that we have very little time left. Cue regret, sadness and anxiety! In this episode I explore a different perspective on time, and how to embrace the remaining "10%".

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24:20

63. Your Vision for Success as a Mom

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/08/19

Have you ever stopped to think about how you define your success as a mom? What does success look like to you? And how do you measure it? Whether you realize it or not, you have in your mind a vision for success, and your mind is constantly evaluating whether or not you meet the mark. In this episode, we explore how to take ownership of this vision so that we are not only intentional about what we want for ourselves as moms and for our kids, but also so we can find compassion and love for

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53:14

62. Lifelong Connection with Your Big Kids - Special...

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/08/12

I was honored to have author, influencer, connector and founder of Moms of Bigs, Esther Joy Goetz join me to talk about the lifelong journey of being a mom and how to create a lifelong connection with your children. Esther's motte is to "give our BIG KIDS (teens and young adults) the roots of love and the wings of freedom to be completely themselves." In our conversation, we explored how to do this, but even more, how to find love and compassion for ourselves in the process. Motherhood is

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21:26

61. Why You Can't Let Yourself Off the Hook

The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined:... ·

2023/08/05

As women, as moms, we're really hard on ourselves. Like...so hard. There are so many ways we talk down to ourselves, and we're so used to it that we don't even realize we're doing it any more. But it can also feel like letting ourselves off the hook and giving ourselves some grace feels like giving up. This is particularly true when it comes to what we want for our kids and how hard we're willing to fight to help them be happy, healthy and successful. In this episode, I explore why it's so

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