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PODCAST

Untoxicated Podcast

Matt & Sheri Salis

Sheri and Matt Salis just wanted a regular life–regular marriage, regular careers, a regular house, and happy kids. Instead, they lived a life of lies and terror as they struggled with Matt’s alcoholism and emotional abuse. Unfortunately, their experience is quite regular. Sheri and Matt talk to other experts, to roundtable panels, and to each other. No subjects are off limits: The trauma of active addiction, the pain of recovery, the impact of emotional abuse, the “should I stay or should I go”

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

1:01:02

Ep160 – Safety, Connection and Implied Consent with...

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/10/10

What comes first, safety or connection? Can two married people be in two different relationships when it comes to trust and implied consent? Is there guilt inherent in detachment, and rejection inherent in sex without emotional intimacy? Sheri and Matt are joined by Julia and Liz to tackle these incredibly heavy topics. There is not a psychologist among them, but yet, as lived-experience experts, they uncover a lot of therapeutic truth. And Liz solves it all with an analogy to Chutes and

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1:11:30

Ep159 – Forgiveness Roundtable

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/10/03

Can forgiveness be achieved without an apology ever being offered? Likewise, can we find comfort in feeling remorse without ever being forgiven? On this special roundtable episode, Sheri and Matt are joined by four lived-experience experts to discuss the power of forgiveness. We are confident you will learn something new, or reconsider what you thought to be true, after listening to this conversation between Dawn, Karen, Mike and Lori. These are some distinctly different personalities and

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59:45

Ep158 – It Takes Two to Tango

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/09/26

In order for a relationship to survive alcoholism, both partners, the former drinker, and the spouse, need to do an amazing amout of work in recovery. It is not about sobriety, although that is a prerequisite. It is about individual healing and growth. Those two strong people can then come back together to make their relationship thrive. On this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the different ways one partner or the other can prevent relationship recovery - because they can't or won't find healing

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1:18:12

Ep157 – Food and Mood for Alcoholics and Loved Ones...

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/09/19

Sheri and Matt welcome The Addiction Nutritionist, Kelly Miller, back to the podcast to learn more from this amazing nutrition therapist and recovery coach, and to apply her nutrition lessons to the recovery of the loved ones of people battling addiction. Do you want to feel better, reduce anxiety and regulate your haywire nervous system? If so, this episode is for you. It is full of practical nutrition tips, busted myths, and lots of counterintuitive knowledge about recovery. Kelly lights up the

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36:45

Ep156 – Is “Victim” a Dirty Word?

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/09/12

Alcoholism has lots of victims - including the drinker. High-functioning alcoholics in sobriety often have a really hard time accepting their victim status for a variety of reasons discussed by Sheri and Matt on this episode. But owning the victim label disarms the stigma and ends the shame cycle. It's an important, but largely rejected, philosophy. Acknowledging victimhood can get people stuck, or it can lead to freedom. Sheri and Matt tackle another complex recovery issue. If you love or loved an

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Ep155 – Your Wife’s Not a Bitch…but She Might Be Afraid

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/09/05

Last week, we published this article titled, "Your Wife's Not a Bitch," to our Sober and Unashamed website and blog. We got a lot of reaction, most of it in the form of email from the spouses of alcoholics describing the different ways our assertions were rejected. In this episode of the podcast, Sheri and Matt discuss the reactions, and the importance of creating a safe place for honest communication to thrive - because the death of communication will be the ultimate death of any relationship. If

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Ep154 – Intimacy is Vulnerability

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/08/29

Sheri and Matt dive deep into Sheri's favorite topic: intimacy. But this discussion might not be what you are expecting. They separate emotional intimacy from sex, and describe emotional intimacy as the ultimate vulnerability (complete with figurative nudity). Emotional intimacy is both really difficult (made infinitely harder by alcohol abuse), and also a key to relationship recovery. Confused much? Give it a listen, and see if you agree with their expertless assertions. Stick around to hear Sheri

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1:07:34

Ep153 – Making the Turn for Home with Mindy and Tom

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/08/22

Do you want to know what it takes to save a marriage from alcoholism? One word: genuine humility. OK, that's two words. And it also takes therapy, group work, hard-earned detachment, faith, resentment processing, group work, and persistence. But it can't be done without an abundance of genuine humility. Mindy and Tom join Matt on this episode. Tom lays some truth on us explaining a cornerstone of their marriage recovery: "She has a voice that deserves to be heard." When asked if she was worried that

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1:05:57

Ep152 – Five Ways Alcohol Impacts Brain Chemistry

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/08/15

The brain is the final frontier of human biology, so the full impact of alcohol on our gray matter is a topic that undergoes continuous discovery. In this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss five ways alcohol impacts us neurologically - four impacts on the drinkers, and one substantial impact on the brains of the people who are in consistently close proximity to the drinkers (like spouses). They also talk about flying squirrel suits and the most famous wizard. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and

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1:04:05

Ep151 – New Hope after Death with Suzy Jahn

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/08/08

The official cause of death was, "Complications of chronic ethanolism." We all knew Suzy's husband Matt was struggling and relapsing, but no one is ever really ready for death by alcohol. Suzy Jahn joins Sheri and Matt on this episode, and she tells her story of hope lost, and of hope regained by her work in recovery, and through the love of her family. Suzy is exceptionally strong as she navigates the mourning and rebuilding process - a process no one should ever have to go through. If you love or

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1:18:38

Ep150 – Echoed Voices – Live!

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/08/01

To celebrate our 150th podcast episode, we gathered in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains for our first ever Echoes of Recovery retreat. We took a break from hiking and hot springs to record this very special podcast episode together - fourteen people around the same microphone sharing the same story with their own individual details and perspectives. If you think you are alone as the spouse of someone suffering from alcohol addiction, this one is for you. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and

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55:50

Ep149 – Mantras: Gross and Glorified

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/07/25

Why do we give so much power to the mantras that surround us (at least some of us do (Sheri's looking at you, Matt))? There are gross and glorified mantras that are pillars of the recovery community, slogans and sayings that drive a fledgling little alcoholic-in-training deep into addiction, and buzz phrases and quotes from movies and pop culture that have become ingrained in our daily lives. Even our most basic and popular wedding vows are fraught with serious problems. Still, there are some

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1:18:09

Ep148 – Phases of Relationship Recovery

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/07/18

There is a flow to the process of recovering a marriage from alcoholism. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the universalisms found in the eight phases of relationship recovery. This is time consuming and emotionally draining work, and a lot of what Sheri and Matt have learned is counterintuitive and daunting. From boundaries and detachment, to coming back together as two strong and self-sufficient individuals, these overlapping phases are a roadmap back from the pit of alcoholic

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59:54

Ep147 – Chaos between the Traumas

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/07/11

Anyone who has experienced an alcoholic relationship is familiar with the traumatic events when the drinking and the aftermath spins wildly out of control. But for most high-functioning alcoholics, there are plenty of times when nothing traumatic happens, but the family lives in a consistent state of chaos. There is no chance to relax - no opportunity to drop from high alert. That's the damage to the nervous system that Sheri and Matt describe in this episode. It is story time, Untoxicated friends

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54:49

Ep146 – Consistently Different

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/07/04

As a drinker, Matt's goal for the marriage was for Sheri to agree with him on morals, politics, religion, finances, parenting, etc. Only now in sobriety, Matt is realizing that with the exception of morals, they are dramatically different people with different opinions, beliefs and motivators. Acceptance - consistent acceptance - of those differences is required for the marriage to thrive. And falling back into old habits of criticism and disappointment is triggering for them both. Two healthy,

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57:16

Ep145 – From Denial to Reality with Leah

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/06/27

Leah suffered from denial for years while living with someone whose drinking became a progressively more significant problem. She describes it like living in the middle of a tornado and refusing to acknowledge the storm. From early days of dating, though her wedding day, and even when her husband decided he needed to stop drinking, Leah ignored all of the red flags because alcoholism couldn't possibly happen to her. And when her husband got sober, that's when the denial really ramped up. She was

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1:00:28

Ep144 – Pride Over Shame

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/06/20

Pride, self-esteem, ego and confidence often get a bad rap in the traditional recovery community as leading to relapse. We believe the opposite is true, and that self-esteem is the single most important component to long-term sobriety. But that's not what this episode is about. Sheri and Matt talk about the critical importance of self-esteem to the healing and recovery of the spouses and other loved ones of alcoholic. At the end of the episode, Matt explains why Sheri's growing self-esteem is so

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41:15

Ep143 – Write Your Story for Us All

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/06/13

We are thrilled to announce the "Evolution Series" as part of our Sober and Unashamed website and blog. Writing our stories of the impact of alcohol on our lives and families is very therapeutic, and we invite you to write and submit your story for the potential publication to our audience of readers. Not only will you feel the power of vulnerability rewarded, but you will help so many others who will relate to your story and know they are not alone. Don't just listen or read about our mission. Join

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55:30

Ep142 – Consequences with Allison

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/06/06

Everyone understands the consequences associated cigarette smoking (lung cancer) or a poor diet heavy on added sugar and fat (diabetes and obesity). Those consequences are directly correlated and societally accepted. When it comes to alcohol, in our culture, we ignore the inevitable consequences. Who better to welcome to a conversation like this than the self-described "queen of consequences?" Allison joins Sheri and Matt on this episode, and they break down the consequences (legal, financial,

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53:30

Ep141 – Trauma of Summer Holidays and Vacations

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2022/05/30

Nothing is more important to healthful, sustained recovery than staying in tune with the traumas of active alcoholism. It isn't a good idea to wallow in misery, but as the seasons change and summer drinking is surrounding us, it is a great idea to remind ourselves of why sobriety is the best choice for us personally, and for our families. On this episode, Sheri and Matt recall Matt's summer drinking experiences including a particularly emotional recollection of a drive to the airport with a car full

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299 results

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