The Covert Narcissism Podcast

00:18:10

Are They a Covert Narcissist or Just a Jerk? How to...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/05/22

Are they a covert narcissist—or are they just being a jerk?That’s one of the most common (and most confusing) questions I hear from clients and listeners. In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we break down real-life examples of those cutting, guilt-laced, or backhanded comments that leave you wondering: Was that emotional abuse, passive-aggressive manipulation, or just a bad moment?From relationship red flags like “Must be nice to have that kind of freedom”, to parental guilt trips

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00:21:12

Circular Conversations from Hell: Trapped in the Loop...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/05/18

Ever walk away from a conversation feeling more confused than when you started—like somehow, even though you were calm, kind, and clear, you’re the one apologizing again?Welcome to the maddening world of circular conversations with a covert narcissist. In this episode, we dive into the logic-defying, soul-draining dynamics that keep you stuck in emotional loops—where nothing gets resolved, the goalposts always move, and your reality is constantly twisted. Before you even had the words “covert

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00:16:40

If I Weren’t Talking About Covert Narcissism… I’d Be...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/05/15

In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we take a much-needed breath of fresh air—literally and emotionally.If I weren’t talking about covert narcissism every week, I’d be out in the woods learning survival skills: building fires, navigating with moss, and figuring out which berries won’t kill me. Why? Because sometimes, healing from covert narcissistic abuse means taking a step back to reconnect with who you are outside the trauma. This episode is your invitation to pause the obsessive

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00:18:56

When Guilt Is a Lie: How Covert Control Feels Like...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/05/11

What if the guilt you’ve been carrying… isn’t guilt at all? In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we peel back the layers of false guilt—those heavy, painful feelings that whisper “you’re the problem” anytime someone else is upset. Renee walks through a real-life example of emotional coercion in a relationship with a covert narcissist, showing how guilt is often a disguise for fear, shame, and manipulated responsibility.You'll learn how to recognize the difference between true guilt and

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00:18:33

Sexual Coercion and Assault Within Marriage

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/05/08

What if you said yes — but didn’t feel free to say no?In this powerful and necessary episode, we’re confronting the hidden reality of sexual coercion and assault within marriage, especially when the partner is a covert narcissist. From guilt-laced manipulation to emotional punishment and silent withdrawal, we explore how control can show up quietly — and why consent isn’t real if it’s not freely given. You’ll hear real-life examples, common tactics used to override your “no,” and clear steps to

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00:21:02

More Truths from My Therapist That Rewired My Trauma...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/05/04

Welcome to Part Two of Things My Therapist Said That Deserve to Be on T-Shirts. We’re continuing the conversation with five more transformative truths that cut through confusion, emotional manipulation, and internalized blame—especially for anyone navigating covert narcissistic abuse.These one-liners don’t just help you name what’s been happening—they help you stop second-guessing yourself and start reclaiming your peace. Whether you're living with a covert narcissist, healing after a painful

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00:19:27

10 Things My Therapist Said That Deserve to Be on...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/05/01

Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs in healing from covert narcissistic abuse come from just one sentence—something so simple, so true, it rewires your entire nervous system. In this part one episode, I’m sharing five powerful one-liners my therapist said that helped me finally recognize the emotional abuse I had been living through—and start the real work of healing.We talk about what it means to stop apologizing for your emotions, how guilt isn't a moral compass, and why setting boundaries with a

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00:18:08

Brain vs. Gut: The Ultimate Showdown Inside Covert...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/04/27

Covert narcissism sends you spinning into cognitive dissonance circles! But your brain and your gut were never supposed to be enemies. They're both trying to protect you—just in different ways. Healing begins when they stop arguing and start working together, guiding you out of the confusion and back into clarity.Key Takeaways: Covert abuse hijacks your logic and intuition. Your gut has always known the truth—you just needed your brain to stop making excuses. Healing starts when you

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00:22:57

Breaking Free from Guilt in Narcissistic...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/04/24

In this part two conversation, Renee Swanson and Jerry Wise delve into the complexities of covert narcissism, exploring the impact of guilt in relationships with narcissistic individuals. They discuss the importance of self-focus and reframing one's internal environment to foster healing and personal growth. The dialogue emphasizes that it is never too late to reclaim oneself and that closure comes from within, not from external validation.Takeaways Guilt often stems from family dynamics,

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00:23:33

You Are Not Your Programming: Healing the...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/04/20

In this part one of two conversation, Renee Swanson and Jerry Wise delve into the complexities of narcissism and the concept of self-differentiation. Jerry shares his extensive experience in family systems therapy and explains how self-differentiation allows individuals to grow into their true selves without absorbing the toxicity of others. They discuss the loss of self often experienced by those raised in narcissistic families, the internal messages that keep individuals stuck, and the

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00:24:16

From Falling Apart to Fighting Back: A Raw Divorce...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/04/17

What happens when the fairy tale was never a fairy tale to begin with?In this powerful episode, Renee Swanson is joined by Andrea, the candid and courageous voice behind the hit podcast How Not to Suck at Divorce. Andrea doesn’t just share her story—she lays it all out. The red flags she ignored. The justifications she clung to. The slow unraveling of her identity. The physical collapse that finally forced her to confront the truth. Together, Renee and Andrea dive deep into: The invisible

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00:18:45

Conversations I Wish I Had with My Covert Narcissist

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/04/13

In this episode, we’re diving into the conversations I wish I could have had with the covert narcissist in my life. The words I rehearsed but never said. The truths I buried for the sake of “keeping the peace.” The sarcasm I bit back. The boundaries I swallowed. All of it. Because sometimes, the only way to make sense of the madness that is covert narcissistic abuse is to talk it out—even if it’s only in your own head.We’re pulling back the curtain on: The emotional minefield of everyday life

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00:18:46

The Journey of Healing: What It Really Looks Like...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/04/10

At the end of every episode, I say, “I wish you so much peace on your journey of healing.” But today, I want to pause and really talk about what that journey actually looks like—because healing from covert narcissistic abuse isn’t what most people think.When I first left, I believed healing meant I’d wake up one day and magically stop hurting. I thought it meant I’d feel strong and peaceful all the time. Instead, I felt confused, angry, exhausted… and sometimes even guilty for walking away. What I

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00:26:51

The Invisible Parent: When Love Does the Work and...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/04/06

In this raw and emotional episode, we’re diving deep into one of the most devastating dynamics in families with a covert narcissist: when the parent doing all the emotional labor is unseen, while the other parent gets all the praise.We unpack the covert narcissist’s relentless need for supply and scapegoats—and how this manipulative cycle plays out not just with their partner, but with their children. You’ll hear the heartbreaking truth of what it feels like to be the steady, loving, rule-setting

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00:20:17

Radical Personal Responsibility (Special Throwback...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/04/03

I often get asked:•Why did this happen to me? •How did I get here? •How do I prevent it from ever happening again? •How do I heal from this? These are excellent questions and they are very related to each other. Why did this happen to me has a whole lot to do with how do I prevent it from ever happening again. How did I get here is tied closely with how do I heal from this. You need to know about Radical Personal Responsibility - Your special weapon that is unreachable for narcissistic

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00:19:21

You Wanna See My Bruises? Look at My Kids

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/03/30

Not all bruises are visible—and some of the deepest ones live in the hearts of our children.In this powerful episode, we talk about the unseen wounds of emotional abuse, especially when you're parenting alongside a covert narcissist. What happens when the world only believes abuse if they can see it? What happens to the children growing up in that invisible war zone? If you’ve ever felt dismissed because your scars weren’t physical, or if you’re watching your children carry emotional weight no

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00:31:32

The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist with Debbie...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/03/28

What a privilege it is to introduce to you Debbie Mirza! She is best-selling author of the book "The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist," one of the first books I ever read that opened my eyes to the nightmare that I was living. This book is an amazing resource for gaining awareness and understanding of covert narcissism.Her second book "Worthy of Love' presents a gentle and restorative path to healing after narcissistic abuse. Debbie is a beautiful testimony that healing is

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00:24:20

When Grey Rocking Backfires: How to Protect Your...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/03/23

Have you ever tried to Grey Rock a covert narcissist—only to watch it completely blow up in your face? You stayed neutral, kept your answers short, and avoided reacting… but somehow, things escalated anyway.In this episode, we dive deep into why Grey Rocking often backfires with a covert narcissist, and how to use it in a smarter, safer, and more strategic way. You'll learn how covert narcissists twist neutrality into rejection, how they bait you into reacting, and how to avoid giving them

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00:22:42

Divorcing a Covert Narcissist: Is a Healthy Split...

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/03/21

Is a peaceful divorce possible when dealing with a covert narcissist? In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with high-conflict divorce coach Eleanor Marks to unpack the complexities of separation from a covert narcissist. We dive into the concept of radical acceptance—understanding the reality of your situation and adjusting your expectations accordingly. If you're navigating a high-conflict divorce or struggling to co-parent with a covert narcissist, this conversation will provide clarity,

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00:24:01

Reactive Abuse: When Survivors Get Blamed for Their Pain

The Covert Narcissism Podcast ·

2025/03/16

Imagine being pushed, prodded, and ignored—until you finally snap. Then suddenly, you’re the problem. Sound familiar?In this episode, we’re diving deep into reactive abuse—one of the most insidious tactics covert narcissists use to flip the script and make survivors question their reality. I’ll share real-life stories—both from childhood and marriage—illustrating how this pattern plays out, how narcissists provoke reactions only to play the victim, and why your reaction does not make you the

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