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PODCAST

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon

Heather Shannon

Ask a Sex Therapist is for you if you are ready to spice up your sex life. You are ready to learn all the things you were never taught about sex, intimacy and great communication in the bedroom. You are excited to explore your own body and feel more connected to your partner. You want to feel body confident, allow yourself to experience greater sexual pleasure and feel accepted for your fantasies and desires. If you are ready to take your relationship to the next level, get rid of the shame and

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

35:51

020 Shattering Stigma: Life with Herpes - Featuring...

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/04/10

Join Heather as she speaks with Alexandra Harbushka, the founder of "Life with Herpes," a supportive community aimed at shattering the stigma surrounding herpes. Alexandra shares her personal story with herpes, how she got over the stigma and how she got SO FREE of shame and stigma that she turned it into a public-facing career helping others!In this episode, you will learn:Why even married/monogamous people need to know about Herpes.Testing for Herpes isn't automatic when you get an STI panel--how

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24:39

019 Listener Sex Questions: Anal Sex, Women...

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/04/03

In this episode, you really get to Ask A Sex Therapist! Listeners asked Heather their most pressing sex questions including:How can I have anal sex without it hurting and actually enjoy it?I’m interested in sex with other women, but need some help with approaching women. Any advice?I’m experiencing guilt with masturbation–my partner has said she doesn’t like it when I masturbate. How do I get past that?I want to make my girlfriend squirt. Some women I’ve been with before have, but it’s the minority

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46:15

018 Dating, Makeovers & Self-Confidence from the...

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/03/27

This week's guest is Kimmy Seltzer. She is a confidence therapist, authentic dating strategist and image expert. With vast knowledge and experience as a therapist, certified style coach, dating coach and matchmaker, Kimmy has helped people find lasting love and connection, attract success, and build valuable relationships using her unique competence makeover process. Listen to the full episode to learn more about the importance of combining emotional work into the body and what is the biggest thing

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21:03

017 Healthy Sexual Boundaries

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/03/20

Healthy boundaries are all the rage . . . and with good reason. Having them helps us feel empowered, reduces resentment and encourages self-respect. But what about when it comes to sex? How can you practice saying no and communicating your needs without pushing the other person away?Do healthy sexual boundaries mean you’re never going to have casual sex (answer - no!)? How can sexual boundaries help you feel safer with your partner?Embodiment practices can help. By being in your body and not just

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49:26

016 Healing Through Seduction with Perle Noire

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/03/13

Join Heather and her first ever guest, THE Black Burlesque Queen - Perle Noire, for a high vibe discussion on purpose, healing, sexiness, therapy, embodiment and intuition. Perle’s path to her current success and alignment is NOT a boring one and you’ll definitely want to listen in to learn from her Wild Wisdom and Passionate Purpose. The ladies discuss how to relate to your emotions in a healthy way, falling in love with yourself and not holding yourself back anymore.We’ll cover:Becoming Perle

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17:52

015 Unlearning Sex Negativity

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/03/06

As most of us have realized by now, sex education is sorely lacking in the US and most of the rest of the world! What we learn from most religions is a sex negative message—that there are a lot of rules about who you can have sex with, when you can have sex with them and what kind of sex acts are ok. Schools typically try to scare us into abstinence with talks about STIs and unwanted pregnancy. And then add in legislation in the US that targets LGBTQ people and women in a way that makes sex and love

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20:05

014 Why "Self Love" Is Annoying

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/02/27

Do you really need to love yourself first before loving someone else? Self-love is one of the most talked about topics in the self-help movement and one of the most common things relationship coaches discuss on social media.Many of us identify as having self-esteem problems and that is actually be holding us back more!The problem is that constantly striving for self love, self esteem and a healthy body image reminds us we aren’t there yet. And thinking we need to keep working on ourselves before we

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22:14

013 Is Monogamy Realistic?

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/02/20

Monogamy? Non-monogamy? Which is the right or wrong choice?Monogamy is still the default relationship style for relationships for most cultures in the world. But that doesn’t mean it’s the right one for you.Let’s question the default and shed some light on options so you can choose the right path for yourself and your relationships. Because the truth is there isn’t a right or wrong! It’s all about making it a conscious choice instead of an autopilot one.What you’ll learn:What is the default setting

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21:47

012 Consent Is Sexy AF

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/02/13

Consensual sex is important because it allows partners to start a sexual encounter from a foundation of trust and respect.Everyone should have the final say in making decisions about their own bodies and sexual experiences.Not only does great communication about consent help to prevent sexual violence and abuse, it actually allows partners to relax and let go more knowing that they are safe.It's this letting go & freedom that make consent sexy AF.What you’ll learn:The definition of consentWhy

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21:29

011 Attachment Styles

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/02/06

Attachment styles indicate how we attach to others in relationships and how we feel about ourselves. They therefore impact all our relationships and nearly everything we doAbout half the population has a secure attachment style. The other half has an insecure attachment style. Insecure styles include anxious attachment, dismissive avoidant attachment and fearful avoidant attachment.Attachment styles are not mental disorders and are not permanent labels. They are fluid and flexible and can evolve

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22:25

010 The Sexual Placebo Effect

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/01/30

Sometimes, it’s your thought process that is making you resist the good things from happening in your life. What you think, you create! When we're thinking negative thoughts, we're going to feel negatively, as well. Our thoughts and beliefs can greatly influence our reality, and this can also apply to our experiences in sex, love, and dating. This can include attracting a loving and fulfilling relationship, or improving the connection and intimacy in an existing one.In this episode, I will be giving

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19:49

009 How to Feel Sexy

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/01/23

I’ve definitely been there, and I’m guessing you’ve been there as well, when you haven’t felt really sexy. And that’s okay, that’s what we’re talking about today, how to feel sexy and feel yourself again. We’re going to go over a few different ways you can remove the obstacles to feeling sexy and get in tune with your body, with your energy and thoughts. So let’s get our sexy back again!What You’ll Learn:Where our definition of sexy comes from and how to redefine itWhy we need to be mindful of the

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19:06

008 Spicing Up Your Sex Life

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/01/19

One of the most common questions I get from clients is, how do we spice things up in sex? Answering this question is a bit more complicated than you would think. So today we’re going to dive deeper into how to avoid falling into a rut when it comes to sex, and how you can keep stoking the fire and keep seeing each other as sexual beings, especially if you are in a long-term relationship. Tune in and look out for the resources section!What We Cover:Ask yourself: what did you do when you were

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19:20

007 The Libido Issue

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/01/16

The topic of today’s episode is low libido or sex drive. It’s one of the most common issues that sex therapists see in their practice. Usually, it’s either the partner who doesn't have much of a libido and you miss feeling connected to it, or you're totally fine not being connected to your sex drive, but your partner is not. If you find yourself under the dry spell or in a sexless marriage and you wonder what the heck is going on, today I’m going to unpack the most common reasons behind the low

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21:52

006 Fucked Up Ideas About Sex

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/01/13

What's your most fucked up idea about sex?This week, I'll talk about the myths, lies, and fucked up ideas about sex, people's sex lives, choices and preferences. I invite you to join me on a quest to rip off the negative labels our culture loves to cling to sex. I share my views on the health benefits of being sexually active, gender identity, BDSM and kink, sex work, and much more.What You'll Learn:What sex positivity and sex negativity are, and how they affect our behaviorSome benefits of sex that

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19:37

005 The Clitoris

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/01/12

How much do you know about the clitoris? Do you even know how to find it?Today's episode is dedicated to the clitoris. I'll cut right through the noise and misinformation about this organ with only one biological function: pleasure. I explain how to find the clitoris, how it works, what it looks like, and what sensations it produces in the body.What You'll Learn:Why we need to know as much as we can about the clitorisWhat is the orgasm gap, and what has the clitoris to do with it?What the clitoris

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13:53

004 Are You Attracted Anymore?

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/01/11

Do you see your partner as a good co-parent, a long time friend, a roommate, or anything but an attractive, sexual being?This week, I talk about what happens when the spark starts fading within a relationship. I invite you to rethink how attraction is built, to avoid falling into that kind of rut that says attraction is only physical, and explore new ways of feeling attracted and connected with your significant other.In This Episode, You'll Learn:Why it’s easy to lose attraction in a long-term

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18:02

003 The Emotions of Sex

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/01/10

How aware are you of your emotions around sex?This week, I talk about the emotional rollercoaster that relationships, dating, and sexual situations can provoke on us. I'll approach this issue from the Internal Family Systems model, which will help you better understand why you feel the way you feel about sex, intimacy, and personal relationships in general.What You'll Learn:How managing your emotions can help you improve as a sexual beingWhat your emotions are telling you about how you feel about

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14:16

002 The Real Reason You're Not Talking About Sex!

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/01/06

Why is it that even when it could potentially be a deal-breaker for your partner, you avoid talking about sex?This week, I reveal why you find talking about sex so hard, how it affects yours and your partner's sex life, and how you can bring those barriers down. I also share tips on discussing sex with your partner, dealing with the natural awkwardness of discussing it, and caring for yours and their vulnerability.What You'll Learn:Why talking about what we are into in bed makes us feel so

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21:18

001 What Turns You On?

Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon ·

2023/01/06

Let's start with the basics - what turns YOU on? Not what society, culture or religion says should turn you on, but what makes you feel vibrant and alive?In this episode, I approach this question from four different layers. I invite you to think about and debunk the social scripts around sex, redefine foreplay, and broaden the definition of sex beyond intercourse or penetrative sex.What You'll Learn:Why it is essential to be aware of what turns you onHow social scripts around sex interfere with your

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