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PODCAST

The Fifth Column

Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch

Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition. www.wethefifth.com

news & politics

All Episodes

94:14

#454 - A Conspiracy So Vast (w/ Jacob Siegel)

The Fifth Column ·

2024/05/09

So many of you have written us demanding the return of Jacob Siegel that when word got to us that he was back in New York, we hunted him down and demanded that he submit to a *third* appearance on The Fifth. We discovered that Comrade Siegel, a gravelly voiced veteran of Afghanistan and Iraq and senior writer at Tablet, is hard at work on a book, an expansion of his already expansive essay “A Guide to Understanding the Hoax of the Century.” So we sat back in our chairs, asked a few questions, and

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21:59

Members Only #209 - Rotten (and Racist) in Denmark

The Fifth Column ·

2024/05/06

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Shogun erasure * Revolutionary accents * A debate on Israel and a subsequent anti-Moynihan calumny* Alas, anti-Semitism is common in certain parts of the world* Pointing this out seems pretty obvious * The WAV file * My melanated baby * Teaching kids versus raising kids * Indoctrinating someone else’s kids into your way of thinking is some serious cult shit * Torturing …

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79:22

#453 - No Step on Snek

The Fifth Column ·

2024/05/03

* Children of the revolution* No journalists allowed!* The Italian Gadsden flag* Oh no, Matt Welch…no, no, no* In defense of …Al Sharpton?* Dead soul singers * The great Baby Huey * Forgiving student debt is insane * College is dumb but it makes economic sense…for now * The New York Times and NPR* Jihad rehab * Twitter welcomes another sexless fascist This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

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17:40

Members Only #208 - Bananas Foster

The Fifth Column ·

2024/04/30

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* The Banana genocide * Professor, professor…let’s stick to the facts * A conspiracy documentary full of cranks and losers * 60 journalism professors find a story they cannot countenance * Listeners on ADHD and Adderall* RFK in CA* Nodding along with Lemon* How to talk to an Auschwitz survivor * The trickiness of memory * Two sets of rules * Peaceful protesters get a call fr…

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99:23

#452 - The Strawberry Statement 2024 / The Eternal...

The Fifth Column ·

2024/04/25

A two-for-one offering from The Fifth: first, the lads discuss the ongoing student stupidities, free speech and protest, Kmele at TED, and how your views are probably pretty normal (ed. note: considering the full-court coverage of the Columbia intifada, it’s sort of surprising that no one is referencing this terrible 1970 film, written by Ad-Roc’s dad). And then, some bonus content with Reason’s C.J. Ciaramella, who joins to discuss the government war on Adderall, his own ADHD diagnosis, and why it

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20:23

Members Only #207 - Columbia Breakdown: Next Stop...

The Fifth Column ·

2024/04/22

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Swedish breakdown * Columbia breakdown* The continued rise of American extremism* The politics of “genocide”* The politics of propaganda * Chicago expectations* A newborn in the Fifdom * Our Batya episode* Trusting anti-trust?* The NPR excel spreadsheet * Books on McCarthy * Three best presidents?* The Watergate conspiracy is at least fun to believe

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93:39

#451 - The Battle of Batya (w/ Batya Ungar-Sargon)

The Fifth Column ·

2024/04/19

You asked, we delivered. Our pal Batya Ungar-Sargon enters the octagon to (politely!) fight the Globalist Fifth on trade, Trump, robots, unions, automation, and a bunch of other stuff. But we also agree on lots of other things! Hear Batya talk about her wild Israel debate on Zerohedge, how her last book foresaw the NPR madness, and why perverse incentives have created a boring media echo chamber. Thanks for listening! Love, Oskar and Raoul This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with

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114:20

#450 - Republican Wine Moms and a Dead Double Murderer

The Fifth Column ·

2024/04/13

* Ozempic Joe* The Juice has expired * Revisiting the “Trial of the Century”* The double murderer who “abandoned his race”* In defense of Marcia Clark* Dementia dads* Matt Lauer emerges * Nutty MTG, drunky Boebert* Arizona abortions* Operation Bubble Wrap* Poor guy in a ski mask shoots at cops* Group condemnations and the “IDW” This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wethefifth.substack.com/subscribe

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25:10

Members Only #206 - Hitting From the Ladies' Tee

The Fifth Column ·

2024/04/08

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Kid rapping * Saturday Night Fever is dark, dark movie * Girl dadding* Anti-communist manifestos* On Andrew and Israel * Big bombs in Iraq: not so fast, Andrew!* The normalization of extremism * Don’t be Paul Robeson * What it means to be “anti-war’* Dehamasification* A bachelor party in NY * And much more!

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105:04

#449 - The Prince of Tide Pools (w/ Andrew Sullivan)

The Fifth Column ·

2024/04/04

Third time’s even more charming! Andrew “Cheech” Sullivan is back, puffing away and ruminating on Israel, Iraq, conservatives, the trans movement, loud music from bluetooth speakers, the awfulness of Trump (who won’t be a dictator, btw), the resilience of American democracy, the resounding victories of the gay rights movement, and the general boringness of identity. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

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24:17

Members Only #205 - Almost Lost, Unfortunately Found

The Fifth Column ·

2024/04/02

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.comLast month’s “Second Sunday” broadcast was fun, boozy, and…almost lost. We won’t point any fingers—though they might be jabbed in the direction of a certain someone during the recording—but through a Peter Jackson-like audio excavation, it was saved. Was that a good thing? Errr…who knows. And so, with a few nips and tucks, here she is! And we’ll be back…

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101:16

#448 - A Hot Mess (w/ Kat Rosenfield)

The Fifth Column ·

2024/03/29

The title says it all. The three lads were together, in the same studio, for the second time in as many months. And it’s possible that the start of this particular episode was, for whatever reason, a bit chaotic. But as we settle in with our friend novelist and journalist Kat Rosenfield, we ultimately managed to discuss a few things like…* Kat’s cancellation story* Her great New York mag piece from 2017* Wait, what is sex trafficking?* Did Kat steal a sled from a kid? Or is that kid a filthy liar?*

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85:40

#447 - Sour Lemon and the Blood Libels

The Fifth Column ·

2024/03/19

* Note to Ben Shapiro: not sure Candace Owens is a big fan of the Jews* A sick little girl needs Bruins v. Rangers tickets. I mean…sort of. She recently had Covid…* When life gives you Lemon, fire him because he’s a terrible interviewer* How not to do an interview* Depression and ketamine* The Jamaican national anthem * The chocolate balls of Sweden (again) * Remembering Milo * A friend emails about Trump and democracy* Guys, pay attention to the actual bad stuff Trump has said * A wager on Biden’s

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20:08

Members Only #204 - Amplification Accusation: The...

The Fifth Column ·

2024/03/18

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Norm the Nosy Neighbor* A terrible coinage* Did Moynihan kick off this idiocy? Probably!* Why did we “amplify” a popular internet documentary that we didn’t like?* We should have disliked the thing we already disliked even more* Getting clicks is always more important than adhering to the unwritten colleague code* The only was to redeem for insufficient dislike of…

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75:44

#446 - Tik Tok Flip Flop, Porn-Free Texas,...

The Fifth Column ·

2024/03/16

* Too much toilet paper* A subway shooting in Brooklyn* BTW, dude isn’t dead* Mike Tyson might kill that YouTube guy with the dumb earrings* On banning Tik Tok * Texans have no porn* Who will win the Russian elections????* Anti-Italian cable descramblers and freaky phones* Malaysian monitors Russian election from basement apartment in Malaysia* That’s not what democracy looks like* A Fani update* Repent for not disliking it enough This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other

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87:53

#445 - Women Glow, Men Plunder (w/ Josh Szeps)

The Fifth Column ·

2024/03/07

* How the Fifth Column helped destroy Josh’s public radio career* People who started on “our side” but went around the bend…* Consistency, people * The shrinking of acceptable American opinion* Sure, we all have our own biases…but…* Echo chambers and media fragmentation * Right wing “cancel culture”* Florida cancels DEI departments. Good or bad?* MSNBC panel: “Immigrants in Virginia? LOL!”* “And btw, crime isn’t real”The Uncomfortable Conversations Substack (and new YouTube channel) This is a public

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11:06

#203 - Old Pee Eyes is Back

The Fifth Column ·

2024/03/06

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Birthdays was the worst days, now Coen drinks champagne when he’s thirstay* Stolen packages * 9-0…but not really* Disaster for democracy!* We’re worried about Keith Olbermann* Disastrous polls for Ol’ Joe* The RAGE and the pride* As always, Trump is raising money* Keith is crying piss* A bizarro time machine * Some dating advice for (MAGA?) Mary

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120:49

#444 - We Sell Sanctuary

The Fifth Column ·

2024/03/02

* The worst Scouse accent ever* Blackfishing * Trump and Tish* Lawyers and lawfare* A lunatic DEI artifact from…that company* Congress’s Venceremos Brigade* The immigrant song* The lads disagree…* With burning concern* Fetterman, Mitch, Biden, Tucker again* Matt Remke getting worked* And so much more! This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wethefifth.substack.com/subscribe

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24:27

Members Only #202 - The End of Vice

The Fifth Column ·

2024/02/26

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Back to New York * Subways and free markets* Milei pisses on mercantilism, MAGA types don’t notice* The Foxconn con * The rise and fall of Vice* No one talks about the content…they should * Funny, QAnon all the time doesn’t make money * Shane Gillis om SNL* Nora Dunn and Dice* The people will always decide* A very specific digression on Kansas City. Sorry. * Revisiting that …

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12:00

Members Only #201 - The Sounds of Blackness

The Fifth Column ·

2024/02/22

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.comMatt calls in from a murder motel in Southern California that doesn’t really have wifi. He saves a few bucks. Kmele and Moynihan do the heavy lift. Everybody wins. A few topics discussed:* Houthi bodegas* Industrial policy schizophrenia* Will Kmele join the “back to Africa” movement?* Ujamma and Nyerere’s stash * The Fighting Sullivans (and no, the youngest wasn’…

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