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PODCAST

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery

Every week, Danny M. Lavery brings on a guest to answer questions from listeners before diving into conversation about relationships, dissatisfaction, drives, regrets, estrangement, embarrassment, self-assessments, and feelings from the monumental to the minute.

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All Episodes

57:12

Flirting with Disaster

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/10/26

Danny Lavery welcomes Lux Alptraum, the creator and co-host of Audible’s Say You’re Sorry, a podcast about public apologies — the ones that worked, the ones that failed, and, most of all, the ones that we can all learn from. Lavery and Alptraum read two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to get her friends to back off from flirting with her girlfriend. Another writer wants to overcome her guilt for mocking her date on social media. Plus, reframing apologies as good

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48:51

Open or Closed?

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/10/19

Danny Lavery welcomes Uli Beutter Cohen, a New York City–based documentarian, artist, and the creator of Subway Book Review. Her first book, Between the Lines: Stories from the Underground, will be published on October 26th. Lavery and Beutter Cohen tackle two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to trust a once close friend who hurt her. Another writer wants to overcome her jealousy to experiment with an open marriage. Plus a deep dive in Beutter Cohen’s new book, Between the

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48:23

The Heedless Ghoster

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/10/12

Danny Lavery welcomes Margaret Josephs, author of the memoir, Caviar Dreams, Tuna Fish Budget: How To Survive In Business and Life. Josephs also hosts a podcast with the same Lavery and Josephs tackle three letters: First, from a letter writer who discovered some alarming issues after becoming her grandmother's bookkeeper. Another writer doesn’t know whether to share or destroy her box of letters written during a tough time. The final letter is from someone questioning the “rules” of ghosting

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53:22

Poly Agony

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/10/05

Danny Lavery welcomes Catherine Baab-Muguira, author Poe for Your Problems: Uncommon Advice from History’s Least Likely Self-Help Guru. Lavery and Baab-Muguira tackle three letters: First, from a letter writer who’s feeling overwhelmed in her polyamorous relationship. Another writer is wondering if she should tell the people who live in her childhood home about a secret room. The final letter is from someone wondering if they should rethink giving away part of their inheritance. Plus, a deep dive

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47:47

Friendship CPR

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/09/28

Danny Lavery welcomes Angelica Jade Bastién, essayist for New York Magazine’s site, Vulture. Lavery and Bastién tackle two letters: First, from a writer who is wondering if it’s reasonable to revive a casual friendship. The second letter is from someone who is wondering if she should identify herself as disabled. Plus, Lavery and Bastién talk about how Billy Wilder films can often be just what the doctor ordered. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up

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58:22

Plagiarist Nation

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/09/21

Danny Lavery welcomes Divya Victor, a poet, author, and an Associate Professor of English at Michigan State University. She recently published CURB (Nightboat Books), which documents how immigrants and Americans navigate the liminal sites of everyday living. Lavery and Victor tackle two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to tell her friend that she may have married a criminal. Another letter writer is wondering if she should just fail most of her students, since online classes

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41:55

Lies My Ex Told About Me

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/09/14

Danny Lavery welcomes Marissa Miller, author of Pretty Weird: Overcoming Impostor Syndrome and Other Oddly Empowering Lessons (Skyhorse) Lavery and Miller tackle two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering if she should put the energy into exposing her ex-husband’s lies. Another letter writer is wondering how to keep their really bad FOMO from upsetting their partner. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a

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51:34

Spectrum Ambiguity

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/09/07

Danny Lavery welcomes journalist Zack Budryk, and photographer Charlie Stern. Together, Budryk and Stern co-host the relationship podcast Stim4Stim. Lavery, Budryk and Stern tackle two letters. First, from a letter writer who is wondering why they feel scorn from strangers on a daily basis. Another letter writer who has fallen in love with her therapist. Plus, a deep dive into how the Stim4Stim podcast came to be. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up

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56:49

Shut Up, Dad!

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/08/31

Danny Lavery welcomes Kate Duffy, a licensed clinical social worker who has worked as a therapist in a variety of settings, including shelters, residential group homes, and outpatient clinics. Lavery and Duffy read two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to get her dad to stop talking about family she has no interest in. Another letter writer is wondering how to combat loneliness while living on a sparsely populated island. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood,

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42:23

Starter Boyfriend

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/08/24

Danny Lavery welcomes Anna Rubanova and Adam Bozarth, who are both founding members of the sketch comedy group, Left Handed Radio. They are also both producers at the Forever Dog podcast network. Lavery, Rubanova, and Bozarth tackle two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to get her boyfriend to stop making insensitive comments. Another letter writer needs help procuring weed for the first time. Plus, a lightning round about when friends ask you to keep their infidelities a

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51:59

Ace and Confused

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/08/18

Danny Lavery welcomes Abby McEnany, mainstay of the Chicago improvisational comedy scene, and the creator of the Showtime comedy series, Work In Progress, and Celeste Pechous, a writer and actress, who also stars in Work In Progress, portraying Abby’s best friend, Campbell. Lavery, McEnany, and Pechous tackle three letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to find the right therapist. Another letter writer is wondering how to explain her asexuality to her family. The last letter is

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49:41

Past and Present Prudence

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/08/17

Danny Lavery welcomes Jenée Desmond-Harris, Slate’s Dear Prudence. She was previously a senior staff editor at the New York Times, where she is now a contributing opinion writer. Lavery and Desmond-Harris dig into two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to handle her friend’s bestie who always makes her feel bad. Another letter writer is wondering how to live with a body that feels like an enemy. Plus, two Dear Prudences compare notes. Slate Plus members get another episode of

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49:27

Transition Indecision

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/08/10

Danny Lavery welcomes Dr. Paula Stone Williams, an internationally known speaker on gender equity, LGBTQ advocacy, and religious tolerance. Lavery and Williams dig into two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to crank up the family support for a non-binary niece. Another letter writer is wondering how to know if their decision to undergo top surgery is the right one. Plus, a deep dive into Williams new book, As A Woman: What I Learned about Power, Sex, and the Patriarchy after

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56:17

Not So Purely Platonic

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/08/03

Danny Lavery welcomes Kat Chow, a reporter and author of the forthcoming memoir, Seeing Ghosts. Lavery and Chow tackle two letters: First, from a letter writer who is wondering how to trust a partner with a history of cheating. Another letter writer is wondering if her emotional affair with her best friend should be taken more seriously. Also, Chow takes a deep dive into Seeing Ghosts. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny

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50:44

Boundaries and Bottom Lines

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/07/27

Danny Lavery welcomes author Rebecca Carroll, who recently published her critically acclaimed memoir, Surviving the White Gaze. Lavery and Carroll give advice to a letter writer who is wondering how to distance herself from her abusive mom. Also, Carroll goes in depth about the experiences that inspired her memoir, and a lighting round question about a conservative co-worker. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a

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51:55

A Missing Stair Among Us

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/07/20

Danny Lavery welcomes Julian K. Jarboe, author of the LAMBDA Award-winning short story collection, Everyone on the Moon is Essential Personnel. Lavery and Jarboe give advice to a letter writer who is wondering if her friend group will recover after discovering a secret relationship among two members. Also in this episode, Jarboe reads an excerpt from their piece, Trauma As Morality. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a

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50:26

All That God Talk

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/07/13

Danny Lavery welcomes songwriter, novelist, and leader of the American band the Mountain Goats, John Darnielle. Lavery and Darnielle give advice to a letter writer who is wondering if she should align with her partner's religion. Also in this episode, Darnielle discusses The Mountain Goats just-released collection of songs, Dark In Here. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now! Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email:

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47:25

Compassion Fatigue

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/07/06

Danny Lavery welcomes Hallie Bateman, an illustwriter based in Los Angeles. She is the author of three books, including What To Do When I’m Gone, and Directions. Lavery and Bateman give advice to a letter writer questioning her own ethics about her decision to stop foster parenting. Also in this episode, the characteristics of mommy's girls, foursome etiquette, and a deep dive about Bateman’s new book, Directions. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up

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47:12

The Risk of Disclosure

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/06/29

Danny Lavery welcomes writer and actor Mara Wilson. Lavery and Wilson give advice to a letter writer who is wondering if she should disclose her depression to her boss and risk jeopardizing her job. Also, stories about mean grandmothers, and flailing hotel clerks. Slate Plus members get another episode of Big Mood, Little Mood every Friday: sign up now Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

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58:27

The Act of Estrangement

Big Mood, Little Mood with Daniel M. Lavery ·

2021/06/22

Danny Lavery welcomes Sophie Lewis, the author of essays about octopus sex, theoretical screeds about capitalism, and numerous texts about family abolition, including the 2019 book Full Surrogacy Now: Feminism Against Family. Lavery and Lewis give advice to a letter writer who is wondering how to set boundaries with a family that is siding with her abusive father. They also discuss a “soft version” of family abolition, and take a deep dive into the novel, Detransition, Baby. Slate Plus members get

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