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PODCAST

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Hello, I"m psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves.Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday"s you"ll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday.The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

30:19

3rd Birthday - Let's Talk Managing Emotions

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/06/19

We’ve all been there right? Whether it’s because we’ve said ‘no’ to something, asked them to do something they don’t want to do, or called ‘time for dinner, bed, bath, school, homework etc ……. and they’ve totally lost the plot.Their reaction seems so disproportionate, you’d think we’d cut off a limb, and yet to them it’s the end of their world and to us we’re struggling to know what to say and how to keep our own emotions in check.Join me as I share the three main reasons why children struggle to

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12:17

Bucket Emptying Episodes; Growth Mindset As A Parent

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/06/16

Today's bucket emptying episode comes to you in the week that is the 3rd anniversary of the How Not to Screw Up Your Kids podcast which is now downloaded in 89 countries.I had no idea this is what was going to happen and that you incredible people would be downloading not only one episode a week, but now two, each Monday and Thursday.Thank you so much. It does not go unappreciated by me and my team.This week’s episode is for you as a parent, and it's particularly for you if you’re struggling with a

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27:52

Battles Over Different Parenting Styles

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/06/12

What can we do when we find our parenting varies so drastically from our partners that’s it’s causing real issues at home – impacting our children, our relationship and making family life feel like a battleground??Here are the highlights:(2:30) Not minor disagreements, but core values(5:00) Parenting is a reflection of what is happening in your entire life, not just your role as a parent(11:22) Is your relationship sound?(15:25) Never undermine your partner’s parenting in the moment, unless…(19:30)

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24:40

Parenting and Co-Parenting

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/06/12

Parenting is harder now than it has ever been. We are busier than ever, juggling more, and we don’t always share the same views as our partner about how to best parent. It’s then a whole different minefield to navigate if you and your partner have split and are now co-parenting; not always amicably.This podcast episode is for you if…..You want to be more consistent with your parentingYou are prepared to take a really honest look at how you parent – warts and allYou want practical ways to co-parent

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08:55

Bucket Emptying Episodes; Parental Guilt

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/06/09

In today's Bucket Emptying podcast episode, the focus is on parental guilt. It's a feeling many of us experience almost as soon as our child is handed to us, impacting various aspects of our lives.To address this challenge, it's crucial to recognise when the guilt arises from a misalignment between our actions as parents and our perceived responsibilities. The first step is to identify and understand this disconnect.Join me as I explore strategies for managing your parental guilt.💚 Let's grow our

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39:17

How to Sleep Better with The Sleep Mums

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/06/05

This episode follows on from Episode 160 discussing sleep, but this time I've got company; I'm chatting to the fabulous Sleep Mums. So come join us as we have a refreshingly honest conversation and share some super practical advice to help. You're in for a treat!Here are the highlights:(02:45) Do you have a routine or not?(08:37) Every child has different needs(10:46) The difference between babies and children(15:11) Routine is like a crib sheet(17:44) Don’t get sucked into comparison(23:26) How to

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27:53

Helping Children Get a Good Night’s Sleep

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/06/05

A survey by the NHS found that 29% of six to 10-year-olds had trouble sleeping on three or more nights in the previous week. Problems getting to sleep, waking in the night or waking early were even more common among older children, affecting 38% of 11- to 16-year-olds and the majority – 57% – of young people aged 17 to 23.To me, it’s no wonder we have rising numbers of mental health challenges with sleep data like this!!!I want this episode to be super practical and informative so you can help your

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09:38

Bucket Emptying Episodes; Breathing & Take 10

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/06/02

Today's bucket emptying episode is all an amazing breathing technique; Take 10.You can use this an adult, as well as also teaching it to your kids. I've tried all sorts of breathing techniques, and young people often really struggle with this notion of focusing in on the breath, anchoring themselves in the breath. Instead of asking them to focus on the breath itself and changing the breath, this strategy asks them to focus on counting their breath which is so much easier in the moment.💚 Let's grow

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50:06

Helping Girls Navigate Friendships with Amy & Jess

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/05/29

This episode was originally released in 2022, but friendships are still one of the biggest challenges our girls have to navigate. It can cause so much upset and make life miserable. So, Amy and Jess wrote a book to help their daughters so they never had to struggle with friendships as they did. They hope the hard lessons they learned help smooth the road for young girls and help them walk with their heads held high, never doubting who they are, or wondering if they are enough.Whilst the book was

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27:52

Friendships - the whole nine yards

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/05/29

In this series of three episodes I'll share how to help our children make good friendships, keep them, and how to avoid the dramas and toxicity. Here are the highlights:(2:55) Friendships aren’t permanent(5:27) Different friends for different seasons and reasons(9:02) One friend or lots?(11:42) Gender differences(13:18) Support the way your child likes to socialise(15:12) Core skills that make a good friend are learnt at home(18:09) Importance of turn-taking(20:09) Encourage a curiosity about other

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09:20

Bucket Emptying Episodes; Let's Reframe Mistakes

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/05/26

Today's bucket emptying episode is for your children and I'm setting you a challenge and mindset shift to help your children take those plunges and not see mistakes or failures as catastrophic.The challenge is to start reframing mistakes and failure a full stop, and instead to start seeing it as a comma. Let me explain what that I mean.💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future

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26:58

Siblings; How To Create Harmony

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/05/22

A must listen if you are struggling with sibling arguments and friction which is making life at home feel quite unbearable. The solution isn’t just in how you deal with it in the moment it’s in how your child sees themselves in your family.Here are the highlights:(1:25) Sibling rivalry is a natural part of family dynamics(3:39) How does your child feel about themselves?(5:31) What role does your child have within the family?(8:59) Birth order matters(10:50) Do you find one child easier to

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25:07

Sibling Dynamics

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/05/22

Children who grow up in the same family experience the family very differently. Siblings vie over the same family resources. When siblings fail to find their niche - conflict ensues. I'll help you audit your family to unravel the root of the issues. Here are the highlights:(1:40) Psychological context of individual(7:37) Sibling rivalry is normal(8:21) Focus on needs(10:44) Comparison(12:20) You don’t have to like someone to love them(14:15) Respond to the motive, not behaviour(15:03) Family

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11:04

Bucket Emptying Episodes; Emotions & The Glitter Jar

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/05/19

In today's Bucket Emptying episode, I want to show you a really great bucket emptying tool and strategy for your children that is the glitter jar. Now, obviously a glitter jar is rather lovely and beautiful and very aesthetic in your home, but it's also a superb way of explaining emotions to children and teens, whether that's big emotions around anger, frustration, annoyance, jealousy, or whether it is around overwhelm, stress and anxiety. I'd love to see your glitter jars, share your photos to

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30:01

Raising Confident Girls

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/05/15

There are very real issues girls face growing up, which negatively impacts their resilience. Being a ‘good girl’ limits their potential. I’ll share my top tips for raising gutsy women who are not afraid to take chances.Here are the highlights:(2:20) Brain facts for context(12:10) Language matters(14:40) Be aware of confirmation bias & hyper vigilance(19:18) Shift the energy through action/movement(22:30) Play tricks with the mind(24:50) Praise braveryHere are the highlights:(2:20) Brain facts

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31:02

Self Belief

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/05/15

Self belief is the foundational layer to self-esteem and self confidence. Without it you're building on quick-sand. I will share ways to help children believe in their own capabilities - regardless of age. Here are the highlights:(5:25) I can have a go(8:47) Don’t jump in to fix(11:38) Provide options(12:54) Break challenges into bite size chunks(14:02) Feedback loop(15:45) Constructive feedback on effort(17:30) Social modelling(21:14) Tackle self-limiting beliefs(23:15) Fear of judgement(24:34)

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08:40

Bucket Emptying Episodes; Let's Tackle Your Overwhelm

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/05/12

This week's Bucket Emptying podcast episode is a must-listen for everyone, not just parents!Have you ever stopped to think how many roles you juggle each week? It's easy to feel overwhelmed and out of control, especially when you’re trying to keep everyone happy with a limited resource - time.Listen in as I share my 3 practical tips.Oh, and don’t forget to share with friends and family who could use a little relief from their overwhelm.💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode

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20:34

How To Get Children To Open Up

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/05/08

How can we get a non-communicative child or teen to open up? Feels like mission impossible yet with a few tweaks, and a whole lot of faith it is possible. I'll share my top four don'ts and my top five dos. Here are the highlights:(00:45) You can’t help your child with anxiety or confidence if they won’t open up to you(1:58) Don’t ask your child about their day(3:27) Don’t expect overnight changes(4:13) Don’t jump in with solutions(5:07) Don’t take things personally(6:55) Seize the

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09:05

Bucket Emptying Episodes; Should We Ban Smart Phones??

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/05/05

In this week's episode of the Bucket Emptying podcast I tackle a very topical listener question: “Should we ban smart phones??”Whilst I have very strong opinions regarding children’s use of smartphones, the internet, and social media, I don’t believe that banning them is the solution. Instead, let’s teach our children how to use them safely, which starts with modelling moderation of use of ourselves!I’d love to know your thoughts on this topic.Do you know how much screen time you have each week?💚

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25:12

Managing Exam Stress

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/05/01

How can we help our children and teens when they are taking tests and exams? Whether they are lacking motivation and doing absolutely no work, or they are overworking and getting themselves super stressed. Understanding some basic principles is crucial. We can then step up to be the support they need, and they can step up and be their best.Here are the highlights:(01:40) Revision should be a time our children refresh something they already understand(03:00) Our role as parents(4:00) Practical

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