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PODCAST

The Otis Advisory

Pat Fant aka Uncle Otis

HIGH VELOCITY HOOT from Universal Foolishness: Original News Cartoons as short-form podcasts. Dump you old Think Tank and wade into these guilt-free waters with Tio Otis - finishing off political correctness for a grateful nation. Slower listeners keep right>>>>

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All Episodes

00:01:30

Off Color

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/10/31

If you’re ever filling out some job application and you come to the race question, this might help if you’re in the unfortunate situation of needing to check the White box. Sorry pal, but here’s how you make the most of it. Just draw in that little sad-face symbol right there next to the offensive word White to declare your shame, remorse and instability for having to be that way, ‘ya pig. And whatever you do, don’t even think about writing in “not my fault” or some jive ass deal like that. It

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00:01:30

Packed In His Own Juice

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/10/22

Lawyers are saying that Little Hunter was just too drunk and high to pay his taxes. Go ahead, try that out yourself next Tax Day. Washington already knows that Hunter is a lot like cat pee – you can never get the smell out. “Hey, even a hurricane has a dirty side.” But don’t worry Little Hunter, you can still use your arrest warrant as a floatation device. Oh the larceny! Hear podcast. Wash hands.

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00:01:31

High Octane Meat

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/10/08

Just about everywhere you go is half infested with men. Your rulers aren’t so happy about it since men usually like meat and high octane - both bad. They know that men are naturally stinky and have no visible means of support. This leaves them open to becoming victims of Wife Supremacy, which means they’re “SOL” – Flemish for “somewhat out of luck.” There’s no cure for wife supremacy and the chances of it happening to you increase with age. Otis Advisory has the whole story from behind the razor

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00:01:31

Eat Bugs

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/10/08

Meatless Monday is really not that different from finding out you live in a dry county. Same deal - you just have to move. But to make it worse, you are supposed to want to eat bugs so you can be more like Bill Gates. But what if you don’t want to be like Bill Gates? Can't you just go back to a T-bone and a vodka tonic? Otis Advisory has the whole story from behind the razor wire.

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00:01:31

Seasonal Color

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/10/01

Just in time for fall, Florida’s boss cat has surgically deposited a rolling assortment of extra-grateful migrating people, formerly Illegal Aliens, to an over-priced vineyard some 900 miles due north - as the bar flies. The local bed wetters of Sanctuary Vineyard were eager to please until it was time for soldiers to scoop up the whole batch and send them to "camp" to be cared for properly - and in the dark. Here's the whole story. Get Happy. Get Otis.

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00:01:30

Betos Flushless Toilet

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/10/01

Introducing BetoFrancis' new Flushless Toilet. “Look how much water we’ll save,” cried Beto. “We’re running out because Republicans are using it all." Beto's Flushless Toilet comes with 1 flush per week (if you’ve turned in your guns.) Don't miss this story. Get Happy. Get Otis.

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00:01:30

Royal Pain

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/10/01

Your Royal Pain Megan, you know, Harry’s girl, just couldn’t wait to get back to the house after the funeral to start going through the Queen’s jewelry drawer. This probably won’t end well even with Oprah and Elton helping to scratch that itch. When opportunity knocks, try not to complain about the noise! Get Happy. Get Otis.

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00:01:30

People Stink

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/09/17

People stink. Some worse than others. And what you say or do can make it worse. Put out enough BS and you’ll stink up the place. So it’s up to you, you little stinker, to do something about it. It’s not rocket surgery! HEAR this Pre-Election Advisory from Think Tank Island.

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00:01:30

Is Your Dog a Republican?

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/09/11

How can you tell if your dog is a Republican? When a republican dog hears CLIMB IT he just things that means it’s OK to get up on the couch. His idea of a drag show is what he gives you on the carpet after a particularly tasty T-bone. In the time before filtered water, just about all dogs were republicans - showed up for work, chased a few cats, got some food pellets, licked somebody’s hand and then dozed off - knowing that they’re no threat to democracy and nobody had to borrow any money from

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00:01:29

Head Banging Economics

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/09/11

Inflation makes you do crazy things like only toasting your bread on one side because you can’t afford to do the whole thing. It’s starting to look like Paradise Lost, again, Home Edition. Get Happy. Get Otis. Wash Hands.

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00:01:30

Gang Green

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/08/23

Gang Green is coming for your heat and air. Sandy O and the Ladies of the Squat will finally have control of your government-approved home thermostat. What temp is it set on? Well that depends on you, ya’ pig. If you behave and turn in your guns, you might qualify for a cozy 78 degrees next summer. Get Otis. Wash Hands! www.universalfoolishness.com

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00:01:30

Trans America

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/08/19

Everybody wants to transition to something. Anything will do, just please change me now to something else. America is transitioning too. We're not going bankrupt, were just transitioning to a poor place. Hear Podcast. Wash Hands. https://universalfoolishness.com/

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00:01:30

The Cowboy Code

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/08/03

The Cowboy Code, which I learned as a young Otis (i.e. social drinker) reminds us that if it’s not yours don’t take it. If it’s not true don’t say it. If it’s not right don’t do it. The Cowboy Code might help you too Hunter, and the horse you rode up on. Hear Otis. Wash hands. https://www.universalfoolishness.com

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00:01:30

Green Plastic Army Men2

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/07/29

Maybe you still have a toy drawer full of green plastic army men. Some are standing up, some kneeling down or lying flat, or even looking like they’re throwing something. They only come in green! They don’t make green plastic army men in black or brown or pink. You just get green, that’s it. If you want diversity, you’re s*** out of luck. That's because they’re all army men just there to kill bad guys. That’s what you thought when you dumped your shoe box of army men out on the living room

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00:01:30

No Worries

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/07/29

You know when you come home and notice the pantry door open - again, the one you know you closed when you left. You look at the dog; the dog looks back. “Hey, Bingo, how’d you do that with no thumbs?” He’s thinking, “wouldn’t you like to know!” Right there you and the pup have an evolutionary reveal moment as you both notice the same hole in the argument - if we evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Story doesn’t hold up. Hear Otis. Wash Hands. https:// www.universalfoolishness.com

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00:01:30

Left in a Hot Car

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/07/29

Did someone forget and leave America outside, locked in a hot car with the windows rolled up? Joey, was that you? I’d get outside pronto, we’re burning up out here waiting for the November Jaws of Life to come save us from this! Get Happy. Get Otis. www.universalfoolishness.com

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00:01:30

Bone Dancing with Hunter

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/07/17

Young Hunter hasn’t always had it so easy. His first car didn't even have air conditioning. But Hunter still rode around with the windows up anyway just to impress Jodie Foster. It wasn’t until he landed on the new family business idea of professional back scratcher that things took off for the Cartel. But Young Hunter starts getting distracted and soon finds out what the consigners experience is all about - hear more in this latest episode from Think Tank Island.

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00:01:30

Border Therapy

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/07/08

After a hot Texas summer in the 1860s, reporters asked General Sherman how he liked riding around in August in full dress uniform. Sherman said, “If I owned Texas and Hell, I’d sell Texas and live in Hell!” That’s clarity. Now we have a different kind of clarity. Otis lays out the Joey buffet of truth - as it happened. Be sitting down for this one. www.suiteradio.net/otisradio

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00:01:30

Kamala Is On Sale

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/07/06

Kamala is On Sale – that’s right! The price of having your photo taken with Kamala has been reduced – now only $5k - down from 15 when the Hate America First train first left Bankruptcy Station. Hop on board this latest Otis Advisory from the salty scholars of Think Tank Island. Hear Podcast - Wash Hands www.universalfoolishness.com

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00:01:27

Cheat Sheet

The Otis Advisory ·

2022/07/03

Finally got a peek at what the handlers write for Joey on his little note cards before they let him go talk, since McTumblenuts showed the wrong side of the card to the camera! That cone of uncertainty can happen once the Sarbanes Oxley takes your mind! It's all right here in the latest Otis Advisory from Think Tank Island. www.universalfoolishness.com

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