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PODCAST

Being there for your kids

Jonathan C. Robinson, PhD

Parenting is the most important job we have for which we almost never have any training. This podcast offers glimpses into effective parenting choices and communication

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

02:01

Don't Worry. Be Happy

Being there for your kids ·

2019/11/09

What do you worry about? Job? School? Family? Health? Sooo much to worry about. Did you know that 80% of your worry is for nothing? This is called destructive worry. It's worrying about things over which you have no control. The weather, your boss's mood, the stock market. All you can do with these things is give up your worry. Go with the flow. On the other hand, 20% of your worry is for something. This is called constructive worry. This is worry about things over which you do have control. How

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01:47

Are You a Benevolent Despot?

Being there for your kids ·

2019/11/07

What's a benevolent despot? The two words seem to not go together. Despots are usually dictators, ruthless bad guys. When you are benevolent, you help others. You are kind and giving. How can a parent be both benevolent and despotic? Think of a king during the feudal Middle Ages. He had a castle with a big wall and moat around it. The villagers lived outside the walls of the castle. However, they were protected by the king. He showed them kindness and compassion, understood their needs and feelings

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01:47

How Do You Lead Your Family?

Being there for your kids ·

2019/11/05

Whether you are the mom, dad, or other parent figure, you lead your family unit. It comes with the job. How your children follow depends on how you lead. When we think of leadership, most folks are aware of the dominance or submission as leadership styles. The dominant parent declares "my way or the highway," and keeps the family in line with fear and power. The submissive parent says a lot of "yes, dear. what else can I do for you?" A fear of rejection often drives the parent to be submissive to

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02:02

Launching Our Teen into Adulthood

Being there for your kids ·

2019/11/03

The two most significant moments for us parents in our children's lives are that moment of birth and their launch from adolescence into adulthood. We prepare our children for adulthood through their teen years, letting go little by little. As they learn individually to make good choices, exercise responsibility, and be accountable, they are ready to launch. Just as in our space launches, we parents remain in ground control, while our teen/young adult is in his space craft. He occasionally makes

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03:14

Problems? How Can You Tell?

Being there for your kids ·

2019/11/01

Isn't it interesting that you just know when your child is having a problem? It's like your "spidey senses" tingle. It's great that you are that tuned into her, but what are you drawing on to figure it out? You child gives off both verbal and nonverbal signals when something is wrong. There's no pattern here, except that what she is saying and doing is typically not like her. In fact, some parents just come right out and ask, "Sweetheart, this isn't like you. What else is going on?" This podcast

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03:50

Tips for Family Stress Management

Being there for your kids ·

2019/10/31

We all have stress, probably all the time. It's either distress or eustress. It's how our body and mind react to bad stuff and good stuff, respectively. As parents, we need to monitor our children's stress levels by being there to help them talk it out through active listening, and also by modelling how we effectively manage our own stress. The first step is to breathe deeply and meaningfully, to give our bodies immediate relief. The next step is to help our child think through ways to avoid

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03:43

Should You Fight Your Child's Battles?

Being there for your kids ·

2019/10/25

As parents, our natural instinct is to defend our children, to fight their battles for them, to protect them at all costs. But is this natural instinct the most helpful for your child. The answer is, not necessarily so. Your response to your child's problems depends on the kind of battle and the age/stage of your child. However, as with any situation where you see his emotional fever spike, start with active listening, to bring the fever down. Then ask permission to give your thoughts about his

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03:52

Correction with Time-Out

Being there for your kids ·

2019/09/27

You know, stuff happens. As the parent, you want to handle that stuff in the best, most effective way. Frequently, parents use time-out to handle stuff. However, how you use time-out is more important than that you use it. Some parents simply put their child in time-out "until I say so." This is unhelpful. It makes the parent feel good, feel powerful, but most children simply wait out their parent and don't learn what to do to avoid punishment in the future. Effective use of time-out is simply

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03:38

Parenting is Lifelong

Being there for your kids ·

2019/09/24

Do you ever stop parenting your child? Nope. You signed on for the long haul. In Proverbs 22:6, Solomon cautioned us parents to "raise your children in the ways of the Lord so that, when they grow old, He will not depart from them." That's pretty daunting. What you say to your children, how you act, how you parent, will be with them for all of their lives, whether you are there in person or not. Just as there are stages of child development, so too are there stages of parenting. When your

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03:56

Down Time, What A Blessing!

Being there for your kids ·

2019/09/20

It's true. Indispensability is a curse!! If you have to be the one to do the job and get it done right, then you are failing as a parent :( Doing it yourself may be a short relief and save you time and steps, but it is a longer term problem. How will your kids learn sharing, helping, and personal responsibility if you are doing it all for them? If you are indispensable, then you are doing too much. Also, you can't be your best self if you are always doing for others. Jesus called us to love

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03:43

Emotional Fever? Active Listen

Being there for your kids ·

2019/09/18

Why is active listening such a big deal? It is the go-to response when you see your child in any kind of stress, difficulty, or emotional pain, what I call an emotional fever. Active listening calms her down and is the balm for her distress. When you are active listening your child, you are conveying your efforts to say back to her what you think she is feeling. You are not judging, not criticizing, and certainly not solving her problems for her. You are conveying to her that you are with her and

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04:02

Being Alone in Your Family

Being there for your kids ·

2019/09/16

Being alone is a funny thing. Sometimes it's good, renewing, and delightful. Other times it's alienating, foreboding, and unwanted. As parents, we want to understand and allow for all of the moods that our children may experience. He's been in his room by himself a long time now. Does he just want to be alone? Is he lonely? Is something going on? Rather than guess or hope he is okay, check it out. Seek him out and assess his mood in conversation. If he shows signs of an emotional fever, use

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04:41

Dealing with Bullying

Being there for your kids ·

2019/09/14

You know, as parents, we all want the best for our children. We all want to protect them from harm. Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, bad stuff happens to our precious little ones. Unless you have a protective bubble you can keep your child in, they have to learn to deal with bad stuff. Bullying is the worst. Whether it is physical, emotional, or cyber, bullying can leave a lasting mark. What to do? First and foremost, be there for your child. With younger children, be their advocate

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02:35

Yes, Ya Hafta!

Being there for your kids ·

2019/09/12

Who's the boss in your home? Of course, you are, right? It's not who's the boss that is in question. It's how you boss that tells the tale. If you are authoritative, then it's "My way or the highway." It's power-oriented. Things get done, but at what expense to the family and to your child? If you are permissive, then it's "Yes, dear. Whatever you want." It's still power-oriented, but your child has the power. Things may or may not get done to your liking. If it's authoritarian, then you confront,

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03:41

Got Enough Glue?

Being there for your kids ·

2019/09/10

All of us get out of sorts sometimes, teens in particular. You know, the go away, get out of my life, leave me alone mood? Been there, done that. When you are confronted with that mood in your house, try not to slam him for being disrespectful. Rather, draw on your capacity for emotional intimacy, share something personal, relevant, and meaningful with him, and use your active listening when he is ready to talk about his dark mood. He will be shocked at just how much you do understand what

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02:28

Life-Enhancing Physical Touch

Being there for your kids ·

2019/09/08

It's true. Babies in particular, but also children, teens, and grown-ups all cherish soft, gentle, loving physical touch. Touch is our nonverbal way of affirming the relationship we have with our children. I call it snuggle time. Especially in transition with babies up to pre-schoolers, such as around bedtime, snuggle time eases the transition and calms your child so they can gently fall asleep. Snuggle time is a universal bonding experience. Celebrate your child's victories and console him in

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02:11

Good Parent/Bad Parent, Which Are You?

Being there for your kids ·

2019/09/06

As parents, we usually don't admit it, but, we all have favorite children. You know, the one you seem to get, to mesh with best, who gives you the least amount of hard time. Nonetheless, in raising siblings, as parents you want to evenly and equally be both good parent and bad parent when it comes to discipline. When the job of discipline falls on one of you, the other has to back up and support your spouse's disciplinary measures. Where this doesn't happen, the family is open to manipulation

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03:41

Me Time Helps Teens Grow

Being there for your kids ·

2019/09/04

Just how much "me time" should your teen have? My learned answer is, "that depends." Teens need me time, to figure out what they like, what they want, who they are. In terms of personality development, we parents are responsible for 80% of the personalities our children develop, and that happens before they are age 5. Between ages 5 and 15, 15% of their personality comes from their peer group, predominantly at school and recreational/sporting events. The remaining 5% of our children's

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04:02

Computer Time: Family Friend or Enemy?

Being there for your kids ·

2019/08/30

We all live in a cybernetic age. Computers, algorythms, gaming, texting, all just a few quick clicks away. Wow! What a temptation for our children...and for us. Woulddn't it be nice to have some research to back up your concerns. And, let's throw in some practical time management rules, so that our computers work for us, not the other way around. Well, here they are.

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03:01

Is Your Child Just Too Worrisome?

Being there for your kids ·

2019/08/28

Too much worry can consume our kids, rob them of fun and friendship. What to do to help them not worry so much. Just saying "don't worry so much" is unhelpful. How about another strategy? When you notice your child worrying, use your active listening skills to help them calm down and be in the moment. Help him reframe his worry as a "what if" question. Then help him change the "what if" question into an "I wonder" statement, and add a positive outcome to his curiosity. Rather than being locked up in

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299 results

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