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PODCAST

"Fine" Dining

Michael Ornelas

Comedian Michael Ornelas dives deep into the stories behind your favorite chain restaurants like Domino"s, BJ"s Restaurant & Brewhouse, and Long John Silver"s before determining if they are better or worse than Chili"s: the most mediocre restaurant in America.

arts food

All Episodes

01:04:24

Luby's Gives Off Strong Nursing Home Vibes feat....

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/01/18

The boys get f***ing AMPED about their first cafeteria Pumbaa from "The Lion King" reviews Luby's mac & cheese on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita Michael & Garrett get to the bottom of why Luby's gave up on offering kids menus Michael wears a cone of shame Luby's nursing home feel scores a sponsorship from Old Old Ooooold SO OLD Navy JUB rallies against Goldblumers Additional voices: Ernie Sabella & Jessa Day Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

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01:16:31

Our Lowest Score Ever at GattiTown: A Tale of Two...

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/01/11

It's A Tale of Two Gatti's with the depressing dichotomy between buffet and arcade Michael & Garrett's air hockey game spills out to the entire arcade Garrett gets a huge wad of gum on his shoe Gray chocolate pudding and translucent fruits are a bad sign that this buffet will suck Michael tries desperately to win a blu-ray copy of Croods 2: A New Age and some full-size candy bars JUB will help you overcome the obstacles in your life Additional voices: Sandy Rose and Nick Adams Get our 5 Survival

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53:02

The Chuy's Kids Menu Situation is Dogsh*t

"Fine" Dining ·

2023/01/04

Michael's dad sets the bar too high for Mexican food Elvis lives at Chuy's 10 year-old Wil calls out Chuy's "kids menu" with the mouth of a sailor Fine Dining Cheese Correspondent Steven is not in Texas, so Michael's mom steps in The You-Must Bowl forces 3 mid-meal wardrobe changes 15-year Chuy's vet Kassie recalls The Miracle of the Tortilla JUBcaps and JUBHub comin' atcha! Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Chuy's stories at

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01:03:24

Michael Ruins His Alaskan King Crab at Pappadeaux...

"Fine" Dining ·

2022/12/28

The fanciest restaurant yet surprises Michael & Garrett Three diary entries from His Majesty, the Alaskan King Crab A busser tries to steal a swimming pool JUB will teach you manners! 11 year-old Willa is too cool for the Pappadeaux kids menu Our waiter spills scalding hot butter on Garrett's hand Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Pappadeaux stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us

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01:14:07

Midnight Waffle House Is Wild feat. Jerry Springer

"Fine" Dining ·

2022/12/21

Michael & Garrett survive Waffle House on Halloween weekend at midnight Vape Man: Coming to a store near you this holiday season! Cheese Correspondent Steven has special guest Jerry Springer read his review of the Covered Hash Browns Former Waffle House employee Kendyll tells us just what happens at 3am at a Waffle House A Waffle House proposal lasts less than 24 hours JUB wants to repurpose your waffle batter A very special Headline Game: LIGHTNING ROUND! Michael has 2 minutes on the clock to

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01:19:40

Joel McHale Voices Our Review of Bob's Big Boy's...

"Fine" Dining ·

2022/12/14

Michael & Garrett annoint their friend Steven as their Cheese Correspondent Steven's jaw isn't working so Joel McHale reads Steven's review for him (around the 47 minute mark) More You-Must Bowl shenanigans ensued as Michael recruits his mom to make a painting of Bob's Big Boy Michael's mom tells her side of the story when Michael was pulled over by Officer Hot Dog (hear the original story in episode 8!) The boys have truly bad service JUB works inside of the Big Boy statue Garrett takes on

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01:25:47

The $100 Tip at Rainforest Cafe

"Fine" Dining ·

2022/12/07

It's double date night at Rainforest Cafe Garrett inflates a gigantic pool toy at the table because of his You Must Bowl punishment Across the Sky podcast host Matt Holiner drops in to give a weather forecast for the Rainforest...Cafe Michael gives $100 to a balloon animal maker JUB has his own special ways of keeping the animatronics in check 6 year-old Austin tells his favorite joke on the Rainforest Kids Menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings Michael & Garrett hand out some high scores Get

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01:20:21

Fantasy Birthday Brawl at Gyu-Kaku

"Fine" Dining ·

2022/11/30

It's Michael's 34th birthday dinner with almost a dozen friends! Michael & Garrett speculate why the bathroom is deafening Garrett sides with the waiter as a Dungeons & Dragons battle breaks out in the restaurant JUB will annoy your friends to ensure they're on time to their appointments 10 year-old Luke was snubbed by Gyu-Kaku in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings segment Michael & Garrett go in-depth on the expansive menu at Gyu-Kaku, even if they aren't always sure what they're eating Get our

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01:14:56

"Officer Hot Dog" Pulls Michael Over at Bubba Gump...

"Fine" Dining ·

2022/11/23

Michael & Garrett are immensely disappointed by the churro stand next to Bubba Gump Michael tells the story of getting pulled over in Alabama "for having California license plates" Forrest Gump narrates the boys' adventure JUB makes souvenir pennies 7 year-old Nora "hates the man on the bench" in another adorable Munchkin Menu Musings segment Michael & Garrett go HAM on Forrest Gump trivia Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Bubba Gump Shrimp

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01:15:43

Perfectly Adequate: Our Olive Garden Musical

"Fine" Dining ·

2022/11/16

WELCOME TO OUR MUSICAL EPISODE! You're reading that correctly! Michael & Garrett review Olive Garden The boys think they can top Olive Garden’s in-house soundtrack by creating one of their own! JUB gets a real job What's going on with there being SO MANY BIRTHDAYS at Olive Garden?? Former Olive Garden employee Trever Jones recounts meeting the love of his love on the job 3 year-old Yaretzi gives up on reviewing the kids menu, so her dad does it for her 7 full-length songs about Michael & Garrett’s

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01:07:17

The Pizza Hut You Grew Up With Is Dead

"Fine" Dining ·

2022/11/09

Michael & Garrett drive an hour away to review a Pizza Hut that still has a dine-in option The boys break their own rules because they were lied to by Yelp Why is Pizza Hut a magnet for cars crashing into them?? The boys discuss Pizza Hut’s marketing plan from the ‘90s to laser their logo onto the surface of the moon Garrett gives a eulogy Michael & Garrett fight over whether or not this dessert item is eligible to be rated Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com

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01:16:53

Denny’s at 2AM is Pure Chaos

"Fine" Dining ·

2022/11/02

Michael & Garrett review Denny’s (at 2 in the morning on a Saturday night) The Wild West of late night dining: college students and homeless people galore “What’s Going on over There?” is the theme of the night as there are so many unanswerable mysteries from this wild night, but the boys do their best to solve them The restaurant erupts with applause for a blindfolded Garrett after he finally gets his dessert to his mouth due to the You Must Bowl JUB hocks Peace & Quiet™ 4 year-old Preston from

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58:17

Drunk Boomers, Affairs, and Break-Ups at Island’s...

"Fine" Dining ·

2022/10/26

Michael & Garrett review Island’s Fine Burgers & Drinks Michael goes off-the-menu with a discontinued burger order The boys enter a lottery for a free bike JUB has yet another business ploy 10 empty mugs of beer on an older couple’s table raise more questions than they answer The boys gush about THE BEST FRIES IN THE GAME 5 year-old Joaquin reviews the kids menu in this week’s Munchkin Menu Musings TWO listener-submitted stories about break-ups and infidelity involving Island's Get our 5

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01:02:49

The Haunting of The Old Spaghetti Factory

"Fine" Dining ·

2022/10/19

Michael & Garrett review The Old Spaghetti Factory The most mediocre dinner so far takes a sharp turn when the boys discover the place is super haunted An interview with special guest, Paranormal Investigator/Psychic/Author Jeff Dwyer Michael raises some eyebrows when the You Must Bowl forces him to bring a pineapple to dinner and insist it’s his son Michael & Garrett tell you all about why they nicknamed the guy sitting across from them “Milk Steve the Cream Lord” JUB offers to bust ghosts 7

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51:59

Why Garrett Will Never Return to Buffalo Wild Wings

"Fine" Dining ·

2022/10/19

Michael & Garrett review Buffalo Wild Wings A ceiling leak rains on the boys’ parade The atmosphere almost gives Garrett a panic attack The security feed lets the boys know THEY’RE BEING WATCHED Garrett sets his mouth on fire JUB is back with a brand new business Michael writes and performs B-Dubs’s unofficial corporate birthday song Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Buffalo Wild Wings stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com. Follow us on

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52:39

We Found the Greatest Server in the World at Outback...

"Fine" Dining ·

2022/10/19

Michael & Garrett review Outback Steakhouse The boys bow to the greatness of the perfect appetizer JUB will punch your lights out Michael & Garrett are mistaken for corporate quality control/private shoppers as management rolls out the red carpet 9 year-old Miles reviews the kids menu Michael issues an apology to Anthony Anderson’s brother A former Outback employee remembers the time a couple got 5 orders of the Aussie Cheese Fries Michael challenges Garrett to The Headline Game Get our 5

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01:31

Fine Dining Podcast Trailer

"Fine" Dining ·

2022/10/13

Two best buds who literally met in a food court have embarked on the ultimate food journey: to find out once and for all what the MOST MEDIOCRE RESTAURANT is. Michael Ornelas and Garrett Zwerk are going to all the big restaurant chains in search of the epitome of average, that perfect 5.00 rating out of 10. Reviewing the atmosphere, service, and food, Michael and Garrett are determined to find the measuring stick we can all use when comparing restaurants. Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at

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