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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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9:14

Weekly Challenge #993 – Star Wars

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/04

LisaRichard Serendipidy Tom Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Mad World NORVAL JOE Billbert felt like Luke Skywalker saving Leia from Jabba the Hutt. He wiped his hands on his pants legs, held them out, and said, “Let’ go.” “I can’t.” Mandi turned away and Billbert followed, floating into the room. “Why not?” he asked, touching down on the bedroom carpet. She turned back to him, her eyes filled with anguish. “John says he’ll kill me and my mother, like he killed

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1:23

George bops people

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/03

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He liked to bop people with anchors. He thought it was amusing. The people whom George bopped with the anchors didn't. When they came to, that is. Quite a few didn't, because getting bopped with an anchor tends to stave in skulls. That's somewhat deadly. Then, their next-of-kin didn't think it all that amusing, with the hassle of planning funerals and all that. Unless, of course, they inherited a share of treasure from their recently-bopped

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2:19

George gets into a wreck

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/02

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He was heading out of the harbor when a family in an old junk struck his ship. George's ship was fine, for the most part, but the old junk was badly damaged. George felt bad that the man's junk was damaged, but it was the junk that struck his ship, not the other way around. Still, out of sympathy, he offered them a ride back to port. The next day, the family's lawyer came aboard to threaten George with a lawsuit. Without sympathy, George made

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1:37

George on Columbus Day

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/05/01

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He was constantly roped into an endless series of sidetracks and distractions. Such as the time when he found himself joining a fleet of three Spanish ships heading Westward to India. "Okay, Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria," he said. "Now, which one's the Pinta? I keep confusing it with the Santa Maria." The fleet never made it to India. They ended up wandering around the Caribbean, torturing and enslaving a bunch of natives. George found it all rather

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2:00

George staff meetings

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/30

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Every morning, the captain held an all-hands-on-deck staff meeting. He'd go over important things and ask for input. But every time a pirate suggested anything, the captain shot that pirate down. Literally. The captain drew his flintlock pistol and shot the pirate, and they fell down dead. One pirate raised his hand. "Might I suggest that you stop shooting us when we talk?" he said. "That's an interesting thought," said the captain. "Let me

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1:21

George and Zorro

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/29

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He made a point of stealing only from the wealthy, and then he'd give away all that he'd stolen to the poor. George got a patronizing letter from Zorro that fully supported his generous nature. "Let me know if you ever raid the seacoasts of Mexico," wrote Zorro. "We'll have a drink." George made a point to frequently steal supplies from warehouses owned by Diego de la Vega, Zorro's real identity. George then gave the supplies to the poor,

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1:09

George people skills

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/28

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. So when the captain promoted him to Assistant Manager, the rest of the crew were all furious. "George may not have basic pirate skills," said the captain. "But he's got people skills." The captain went back to his cabin, put his feet up on his desk, and waited for the crew to hang George. Instead, they beat down his door, dragged him to the deck, and threw a rope around his neck. "George should be captain," said the crew. "People skills,"

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11:01

Weekly Challenge #992 – PICK TWO Castle, Rules, Root,...

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/27

LisaRichard Lizzie Serendipidy Tom Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Star Wars LISA Opening Night After centuries keeping marauders out the drawbridge was lifted and Castle Rock Hotel was finally open for business. The battle to turn the Castle into a hotel had been a long one and after extensive remodelling the Charm and character of a period property had been retained. It was so sympathetically modernised the National Trust heralded the project as a masterwork

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1:05

George toasts

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/26

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He bought a toaster, put it next to his bunk, and pushed down the button. It popped back up, but there was no toast. He pushed the button again and again, but it kept popping up without producing any toast. The captain patted George on the shoulder. "It would help if you put bread in it to toast." George smacked himself on the forehead. "Right!" He put in two slices of bread and pushed down the button. It was too bad there wasn't anywhere to

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1:09

George the Adam

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/25

"George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate." Adam Sandler looked over the script, flipped through the pages, and threw it at his agent. "What is this shit?" said Adam. "It's about a pirate who's not really good at being a pirate," said his agent. "He does all kinds of funny and goofy shit." Adam frowned. "It's fucking retarded. How the hell is that gonna get me an Oscar?" "Mind if I take a look?" said Rob Schneider. "Sure, Rob, go for it," said Adam. A year later, Rob won the Oscar. And

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1:09

George and 9/11

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/24

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He came up with all kinds of crazy schemes and plans. "If we ram ships into the World Trade Center, we can bring them down," he said. "Why?" asked the captain. "What would be the point?" George thought for a moment. "You're right. It would destroy everything worth looting. It's just evil." George crumpled up his plans and tossed them in the trash. Later that night, a Muslim crewman dug out the plans, photographed them, and sent them to his

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2:01

George on St. Patrick’s Day

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/23

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Still, he was a better pirate than all these posers going around saying "YARRRR!" and "SHIVER ME TIMBERS!" on Talk Like A Pirate Day. It was worse than an Irish pub on St. Patrick's Day. All those amateurs drinking green-colored swill. Disgusting. And if you tried to pinch a pirate for not wearing green on St. Patrick's Day, they'd run you through with their sword. A drunk tourist pointed at George and went "ARRRRRRRR!" George pushed them into

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1:28

George in the treasure chest

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/22

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He'd get completely drunk and crawl into a treasure chest, and then he'd close the lid. Sometimes, George had to fold himself up really tight, but he took yoga classes and regularly worked on keeping himself limber and flexible. Then, when his shipmates opened the treasure chest, he'd leap out and yell BOO! Well, that what he'd hoped to do. But usually, he'd kinda flop out of the treasure chest and vomit and pass out. You know, because he was so

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1:11

George and the floods

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/21

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate.He watched the news and saw the devastation from the hurricane. "If you stay, be sure to write your name and social security number on your arm so we can identify your body," said the mayor. When they called for rescue boats, George hopped in the ship's rowboat and did his best to rescue as many people as possible. "Thank you, George!' they all said. "You're welcome," said George. After the rain stopped and the waters receded, George sold all

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10:44

Weekly Challenge #991 – Budget airline

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/20

LisaRichard Thomas Lizzie Serendipidy Tom Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is PICK TWO Castle, Rules, Root, Naked in the snow, A pillow LISA Interview with one of the two Plane Crash Survivors “Marie, What an experience. How did you manage to last nearly a year out there?” “For a start we had decent bedding. The contents of people’s cases were amazing. Some real luxury treats in there. We’d made a shelter from part of the plane. Most of the fittings had come loose

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1:07

George changes

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/19

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He spent very little time pirating and too much time thinking. He has a lot of bad ideas. "That would be like trying to change a car engine while you're driving it down the freeway," said the captain. "But we're in a ship, not a car," said George. "You can pull down the sails and replace them without much of a problem. Or replace the rudder with another." The captain nodded, but pointed at the rapidly approaching British Navy. "Can you hurry up

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1:08

George vs the hurricanes

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/18

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. The governor called for evacuations because of an imminent hurricane, so a lot of people ran out of gas on the freeways and got stuck. George convinced pirates to pick up as many people as they could and sail away to safety. Of course, the pirates held the people for ransom, but were reasonable and offered hurricane discounts. And it wasn't exactly brutal kidnapping, either. Most just partied and had a good time on their boats. "That was great!"

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1:13

George and the mermaid

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/17

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He'd sit on the rocks by the shore, talking to Cassandra, the last of the mermaids. They'd trade stories while watching the sun go down. One day, Cassandra never showed up. George assumed that she'd gone through The Emerald Gate, never to return. But she'd actually gotten tangled in a Japanese fishing trawler's net. For years, she traveled in a freakshow carnival. Telling her stories to the crowds. Leaping through hoops, singing her

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1:32

George and the drive-through window

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/16

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. But he was a genius compared to the dimwits at the drive-through. George pulled the ship up to the speaker, lowering sails and dropping anchor. He assumed that the noise was someone trying to say "Can I take your order?" George read the list he'd gotten from his crewmates, but the speaker kept interrupting him. "Can't I just pull up and give you this list?" More static barely resembling human speech. George pulled up anyway, and handed over the

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1:23

George and the pirate code

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/15

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He never learned The Pirate Code. So, the time when he ended up in prison, he was woken up by the strange tapping on the stone wall. He'd summon the guards to complain, and the guards would nod and open the cell next to him. "I was trying to tell you that we're breaking out tonight, you idiot!" shouted the prisoner being dragged off. "Oh, okay!" shouted George back. "Thank you!" George slept peacefully... until he heard the chiseling in the

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