PODCAST

TIL: Absurd Short Stories

TIL

Every day a new absurd story

fiction comedy fiction

All Episodes

The Daft Diary of the Crossword-Solving Cucumber

TIL: Absurd Short Stories ·

2024/02/17

On a drizzling Tuesday evening in a niche grocery store, a vibrant cucumber named Claude gathered quite the crowd of astonished grimacing squashes and confused-looking radishes. Equipped with a magnifying glass and a tiny graphite pencil, he was perched over a half-finished crossword laid out on a miniature wooden lectern. With a bewildered grocery store owner standing silent in awe, Claude was absolutely engrossed in finding the perfect fit for "6 down: Juicy summer fruit (9 letters)." He

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The Delightful Deeds of the Magic-Performing Porcupine

TIL: Absurd Short Stories ·

2024/02/16

Can you imagine our fuzzy neighbor ever so dramatic performing magic tricks? Well, then meet Peter Porcupine, the spellbinding maestro of porcupine illusionists! Peter possessed a peculiar hat from which he pulled out all kinds of things - pineapples, pears, plungers, parachutes - all with the flick of his quill. One afternoon as Peter settled into his daily routine, a crowd gathered around him, waiting for that day's big trick. With a grand flair, Peter muttered his magic words, focusing

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The Amusing Anecdote of the Fire Breathing Guinea Pig

TIL: Absurd Short Stories ·

2024/02/15

Once upon a time, in the idyllic suburbs of Pepperville, lived a peculiar Guinea Pig named Gatsby. Unlike his kin, Gatsby was not content with the life spent idling away in his cage, munching on hay, and occasionally rolling in his translucent exercise ball. Gatsby yearned for excitement and fervour that these suburban afternoons lacked. Much to everyone's astonishment, Gatsby, after surreptitiously watching an episode of a fire-breathing dragon on television, decided to become the world's

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The Outlandish Odyssey of the Graffiti-Spraying Aardvark

TIL: Absurd Short Stories ·

2024/02/14

In the surreal suburbia of Spinwheel Springs, infamous as the land of the upside-down strawberries and the sidewalk-chewing earthworms, there prowled a peculiar creature - Ollie, the graffiti-spraying aardvark. With his superior schnoz, aqua-green goggles, and an unending supply of spray cans in his backpack, he prowled the lavender-lit streets at night, transforming the plain eggplant purple buildings into riveting vistas of magical absurdity. One fateful evening, while Ollie was in the

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The Spectacular Expedition of the Tarot-Reading Flamingo

TIL: Absurd Short Stories ·

2024/02/13

In a fanciful marshland tucked between spectacular overlooks of mountains frozen in time, lived Fernando the Flamingo, an outlandish vision in cherry and peaches with a penchant for tarot card reading. Decked out in a paisley waistcoast, often found hunched over a crystal ball with tarot cards fanned out before him, Fernando had a reputation spreading across the kingdom of animals. From sunup to sundown, animals queued to have their fortunes revealed, and interpreted by the pink

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The Cosmic Voyage of the Moonwalking Meerkat

TIL: Absurd Short Stories ·

2024/02/12

Underneath the starry firmament, the desolate desert lost its usual sizzle, exchanging it for the cool blue blanket of dusk. Enter Milky Way Micky, the anthropomorphic meerkat with a wildly uncanny talent: moonwalking. "I'm going stellar," he whispered into the winter breeze, his meerkat monocle glistening under the moonlight. His moon boots clung to his tiny paws, ready to do their namesake justice. Suddenly, an alien cucumber - one-breasted and antennaed, dropped down from space. "I

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The Absurd Antics of the Limbo-Dancing Squid

TIL: Absurd Short Stories ·

2024/02/11

In the heart of the Pacific Ocean, there was a peculiar phenomenon - Toby, a common reef squid, who developed an uncanny interest in limbo dancing. With his flexible body and trailing arms, he was indeed a sight to behold. "Move over coral, it's time for some under-sea fun!" he would shout, as he gracefully danced beneath an ever-lowering limbo stick made of kelp, dodging any jellyfish that dared to get too close. The creatures of the deep sea gathered around, their eyes wide with

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The Surprising Adventures of the Harmonica-Playing Hare

TIL: Absurd Short Stories ·

2024/02/10

In the whimsically warped world of Wackadoodle Woods, there lived a hare named Herbie, who, unlike his brethren, was far more interested in the golden harmonica he found by a waterfall than in burrowing or foraging. Herbie's audacious ambition was to be the best harmonica player the animal kingdom had ever witnessed. "I'll play so good that even the weeping willows will sway and the howling wolves will stop to listen!" he proclaimed. One sunny afternoon, Herbie decided to put up what he

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The Outrageous Antics of the Kite-Flying Kiwi

TIL: Absurd Short Stories ·

2024/02/09

In the peculiar pastures of placid New Zealand, there resided a kiwi named Keith with an insatiable fascination for kites. This unassuming, flightless bird was confounded by the concept of anything non-flying soaring among the clouds - a realm otherwise reserved only for those with wings. Keith was not deterred by his lack of flight, instead he succumbed to an obsessive enthusiasm for kite-flying that was both peculiar and captivating. To the utter amazement and, at times, the bewilderment

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The Unbelievable Adventures of the Paratrooping...

TIL: Absurd Short Stories ·

2024/02/08

It was just an average evening in the small town of Vigglesworth when the first reports of a flying fruit began to trickle in. "I swear it, it was the strangest thing!" Mrs. Pennington gasped to her knitting circle, "I was outside pruning my roses when this... this pomegranate, dropped out of the sky! Nearly knocked my wig off!" The pomegranate in question, perfectly ripe and seemingly commonplace except for its mode of transport, sat innocently on her table, basking in the wonderment of

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The Farcical Fable of the Pogo-Stick-Leaping Lobster

TIL: Absurd Short Stories ·

2024/02/07

In the coastal town of Bubbling Bay, a spectacle like no other caught the attention of every seafood-loving citizen. Squinty, the local lobster with an odd penchant for pogo-sticking, was attempting the impossible: he was challenging the town's greatest pogo-sticking champ, a teenage human named Seamus "The Flying Seahorse" O'Brien. To add to the absurdity, Squinty was an unwieldy lobster, his claws clacking constantly against the pogo-stick; nonetheless, his determination won the

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The Baffling Behaviors of the Macaroni Sculpting...

TIL: Absurd Short Stories ·

2024/02/06

Once, in an otherwise ordinary animal encampment in the heart of suburban Nebraska, lived a mongoose named Monty. Monty was not like his peers; rather than spending his days digging tunnels or preying on snakes, he found his joy creating avant-garde sculptures out of macaroni. "Monty!" his mongoose friends would scoff, "What practical use does a pile of pasta have in our society?" Ignoring their skepticism, Monty pressed on with his artistry, his tail twitching with delight as he worked on

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