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PODCAST

The Save The Marriage Podcast

Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Learn how to save your marriage and improve your relationship. Stop your divorce and restore a loving relationship. Join Dr. Lee H. Baucom for this impactful podcast that can save your marriage.

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

21:46

Can Separation Save (or Cost You) a Marriage?

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/11/03

You want to save your marriage. Your spouse seems to only want to destroy it. That is a pretty common scenario for people who visit my website. And so, I often have the question asked, "Should we separate? Will a separation save my marriage?" Can a separation save a marriage? Short answer: yes, it can. Longer answer: a separation can save a marriage, but it is statistically unlikely. And in my experience, a separation is a step in the wrong direction. Some recent statistics show that

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26:22

Zombie Marriage??

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/10/27

Is your marriage infected by the "zombie virus?" Do you find your relationship to be the "walking dead?" Are emotions lost and connections missing? Do you and your spouse respond to each other with "zombie grunts?" The infection can be stopped. You can fight the infection and heal the relationship. Don't allow the big 4 symptoms of a zombie infection to overtake your relationship's immune system. Fight back and restore your relationship to the living and the healthy. Okay, to be fair, this

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29:13

Your Stamp of Approval

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/10/20

People are quirky. We all have strange and interesting habits and interests. No two people are alike. In fact, most people want to claim their uniqueness, to be seen as unique, an individual — “being your own person." Yet all of us crave one thing: validation and approval. We did it in high school ("I am SO different, along with everyone else") and we do it through adulthood. In fact, one of the aphrodisiacs of a relationship is feeling validated, approved, and accepted by the other person

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Dealing with Negativity

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/10/13

It happens. In the middle of a marriage crisis, you can find yourself surrounded by negativity. A spouse negative about the marriage. Friends and family negative about your efforts to save your marriage. You negative, well, about everything you are doing (it is easy to slip into self-blame and self-doubt). Negativity comes from several sources: fear, protectiveness, anger, resentment, lack of understanding, and lack of clarity. Regardless of the source, you may find yourself reacting poorly

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The Anger/Blame/Shame Dance

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/10/06

Do you ever feel like you are dancing with your spouse... and not a fun dance?? Most of the time, couples get into habits. They both know the steps, and they just keep going through them, 1-2-3, 1-2-3, 1-2-3.... No, the dances aren't particularly helpful. And yes, we keep dancing them, anyway! One dance that many couples fall into is the Anger-Blame-Shame 3-step. And that particular dance? It keeps on repeating. Except that the anger grows. So does the blaming. And so does the feeling of shame

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Why Your Spouse Doesn’t See A Change

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/09/29

You've been working hard. You've been trying to make some personal changes, growing and expanding yourself. You've been trying to build a connection with your spouse, slowly and steadily. You feel good about what you are doing. You believe you are gaining grown. But then, your spouse doesn't notice any change at all! What happened? Why can't your spouse see the changes? It can be challenging, frustrating, hurtful, and downright defeating. But there is a reason your spouse isn't noticing (or

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Limiting Beliefs Limiting Your Marriage

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/09/22

It almost seems redundant, doesn't it? If you have limited beliefs, they could limit something -- say, for example, your marriage. I say IF you have limited beliefs. Full disclosure: We ALL have limited beliefs that are limiting us. We ALL have blind spots, assumptions, even untrue beliefs. We just don't notice them. And we pay a price for that. Especially since we usually fail to notice or address these limiting beliefs. Do you think your limiting beliefs MIGHT be limiting your life and your

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Are You Dissing Your Marriage? 3 Ways….

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/09/15

I am way too uncool to ever use "Diss" in a conversation. That said, I will drop it into a headline, because I see too many couples "dissing" their relationship, without even meaning to. Distraction, Disinterest, and Disconnection lead to Disrespect of your relationship. And it often becomes habit, usually without you meaning to. The bad news is, these 3 ways you "diss" a relationship eat away at the foundations. The good news is that once you know what you are doing, you can change it. Even

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16:48

The Danger of a Shortcut

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/09/08

I admit it. The phone call got under my skin. We were traveling and I answered the call. The person asked if I was the "save the marriage guy." I told him I was. He told me he didn't want my System. Just the secret, the "short-cut." When I told him he needed the whole System, he said he didn't want to go through all of that. He just needed the "trick," the short-cut. We went round and round for a couple more minutes. I realized I was not going to convince him, but all the "short-cuts" he

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23:55

Have You Been “Friend Zoned”?

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/09/01

I often get a message that goes something like this, “We have been making progress on our marriage. I’ve been working hard to reconnect, and think I have done a good job. But lately, we don’t seem to be making any more progress. Did my spouse Friend Zone me??" Since I have heard this from coaching clients and total strangers, people in my program and listeners of my podcast, I thought I needed to address it. First, let me just say, there is a “Zone” of disconnection and recovery that can feel

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21:39

Is It Time for a Bootcamp??

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/08/04

I have some friends who have been in different bootcamps this past year. Most are fitness-oriented… getting back into shape, improving your running, improving your tennis, things like that. Bootcamps are great ways to get up-to-speed as quickly as possible, so you perform better. In the military, people go through bootcamp to get ready to be a soldier. It is intense and challenging, but designed to get someone ready to face a challenge elsewhere. Bootcamps are a great way to get up-to-speed for

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18:03

Is It Just Delaying The Inevitable?

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/07/28

I get this question often enough to know that you may be wondering, too. Is it really possible to save a marriage, or are you just delaying the inevitable? Many people want to know this before they even start the process. They want to make sure that the effort will be worth it. If not, why go through the struggle, right? Some people do make the effort to save their marriage... but they never quite get to the point of really changing anything. They might engage a bit, work on it a bit... and they

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19:55

4 Reasons Why You Aren’t Saving Your Marriage

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/07/21

First, let me be clear: if you are actively saving your marriage, working toward a better relationship... stop reading and go do something else! This won't apply to you! But if you want to save your marriage... but for some reason, you just can't get moving... hang with me! YOU are the one that will benefit from this episode. That "some reason" is what I want to take a look at. In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I discuss the 4 "F" words that are keeping you from taking

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14:05

Switches or Dials?

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/07/14

No, this isn't some electrical engineering idea. Instead, it has more to do with human nature. We often want to find the switch, the on/off switch for some situation. Turn off stress by doing this, turn on fitness by doing this. On or off. With a switch. This causes us to be looking for some super-easy, simple solution... often to complex issues. Particularly when it is a marriage crisis. A marriage -- much less a marriage crisis -- is not an on/off situation, and no simple switch will turn it

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22:53

Too Self-Centered for Your Marriage?

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/06/30

"You are just too selfish and self-centered. That is why we have marriage problems." Have you heard that before? A listener is wondering if she is too self-centered for her marriage. I am guessing that her spouse has told her just that. Maybe even said she is selfish. It is always interesting when I hear this accusation in my office... from both people! At the same time! Both accuse the other of causing the problems because they are too selfish and self-centered. To be clear, it is entirely

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26:24

The Spouse Predicament

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/06/23

It's a predicament, isn't it? It would be so much easier to save your marriage... if it weren't for that pesky spouse. (I jest, but you might actually feel this way.) You make an effort, your spouse resists. You take a step forward, your spouse takes a step backward... and tries to drag you back, too! What DO you do? When your spouse is so convinced that nothing can change. Or maybe when your spouse starts to see some possibility... and you don't know what to do, what to share, how to

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21:39

Slow Slide, Then All At Once

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/06/16

I've seen it so many times. A marriage is slowly, slowly, slowly moving apart. Then, suddenly, it is ending! Slowly, then all at once. A recent survey from a divorce attorney group showed the central dynamic of marriages ending: they slowly drifted apart. You may not need a survey to tell you about this threat. I sure didn't. I've seen it over and over. Nothing drastic or sudden. Just slowly disconnecting. Slowly drifting apart. And slowly failing. Maybe you hit the Pause Button... and

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22:44

How to NOT Save Your Marriage

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/06/09

Are there things that you do that might KEEP you from saving your marriage? Yes. These are pretty common actions people take, not knowing that they are doing MORE damage, and making it even MORE difficult to save their marriage. I wanted to cover these 10 ways you can mess up on saving your marriage, not to point out any mistakes, but to help you avoid and prevent those mistakes. And if you have already made those mistakes, then start where you are. Just be sure not to fall back into the same

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22:10

Save The Marriage ARC

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/06/02

Since my book, Thrive Principles, came out, people have asked me why I shifted my focus from saving marriages to thriving. In reality, there is no shift. My System on saving a marriage is the same path to having a thriving marriage. In fact, my focus from the beginning was on how to have a thriving life in all areas of living -- including in marriage. Which means that there are many cross-over points between how we thrive and how we save a marriage. In this week's Save The Marriage Podcast, I

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49:21

The Connection Principle

The Save The Marriage Podcast ·

2021/05/26

Connection is the lifeblood of any relationship… and especially a marriage. When connection is cut off, the relationship falters. When a marriage is disconnected, the marriage is at risk. This concept is the backbone of my approach. It is the core of my System — restoring the connection. Which is the problem. Many people push and push for connection, leading to — ironically — even less connection and more push-back. The concept of connection as the most important factor in saving a marriage

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