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PODCAST

The Fifth Column

Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch

Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition. www.wethefifth.com

news & politics

All Episodes

105:04

#449 - The Prince of Tide Pools (w/ Andrew Sullivan)

The Fifth Column ·

2024/04/04

Third time’s even more charming! Andrew “Cheech” Sullivan is back, puffing away and ruminating on Israel, Iraq, conservatives, the trans movement, loud music from bluetooth speakers, the awfulness of Trump (who won’t be a dictator, btw), the resilience of American democracy, the resounding victories of the gay rights movement, and the general boringness of identity. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

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24:17

Members Only #205 - Almost Lost, Unfortunately Found

The Fifth Column ·

2024/04/02

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.comLast month’s “Second Sunday” broadcast was fun, boozy, and…almost lost. We won’t point any fingers—though they might be jabbed in the direction of a certain someone during the recording—but through a Peter Jackson-like audio excavation, it was saved. Was that a good thing? Errr…who knows. And so, with a few nips and tucks, here she is! And we’ll be back…

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101:16

#448 - A Hot Mess (w/ Kat Rosenfield)

The Fifth Column ·

2024/03/29

The title says it all. The three lads were together, in the same studio, for the second time in as many months. And it’s possible that the start of this particular episode was, for whatever reason, a bit chaotic. But as we settle in with our friend novelist and journalist Kat Rosenfield, we ultimately managed to discuss a few things like…* Kat’s cancellation story* Her great New York mag piece from 2017* Wait, what is sex trafficking?* Did Kat steal a sled from a kid? Or is that kid a filthy liar?*

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85:40

#447 - Sour Lemon and the Blood Libels

The Fifth Column ·

2024/03/19

* Note to Ben Shapiro: not sure Candace Owens is a big fan of the Jews* A sick little girl needs Bruins v. Rangers tickets. I mean…sort of. She recently had Covid…* When life gives you Lemon, fire him because he’s a terrible interviewer* How not to do an interview* Depression and ketamine* The Jamaican national anthem * The chocolate balls of Sweden (again) * Remembering Milo * A friend emails about Trump and democracy* Guys, pay attention to the actual bad stuff Trump has said * A wager on Biden’s

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20:08

Members Only #204 - Amplification Accusation: The...

The Fifth Column ·

2024/03/18

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Norm the Nosy Neighbor* A terrible coinage* Did Moynihan kick off this idiocy? Probably!* Why did we “amplify” a popular internet documentary that we didn’t like?* We should have disliked the thing we already disliked even more* Getting clicks is always more important than adhering to the unwritten colleague code* The only was to redeem for insufficient dislike of…

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75:44

#446 - Tik Tok Flip Flop, Porn-Free Texas,...

The Fifth Column ·

2024/03/16

* Too much toilet paper* A subway shooting in Brooklyn* BTW, dude isn’t dead* Mike Tyson might kill that YouTube guy with the dumb earrings* On banning Tik Tok * Texans have no porn* Who will win the Russian elections????* Anti-Italian cable descramblers and freaky phones* Malaysian monitors Russian election from basement apartment in Malaysia* That’s not what democracy looks like* A Fani update* Repent for not disliking it enough This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other

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87:53

#445 - Women Glow, Men Plunder (w/ Josh Szeps)

The Fifth Column ·

2024/03/07

* How the Fifth Column helped destroy Josh’s public radio career* People who started on “our side” but went around the bend…* Consistency, people * The shrinking of acceptable American opinion* Sure, we all have our own biases…but…* Echo chambers and media fragmentation * Right wing “cancel culture”* Florida cancels DEI departments. Good or bad?* MSNBC panel: “Immigrants in Virginia? LOL!”* “And btw, crime isn’t real”The Uncomfortable Conversations Substack (and new YouTube channel) This is a public

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11:06

#203 - Old Pee Eyes is Back

The Fifth Column ·

2024/03/06

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Birthdays was the worst days, now Coen drinks champagne when he’s thirstay* Stolen packages * 9-0…but not really* Disaster for democracy!* We’re worried about Keith Olbermann* Disastrous polls for Ol’ Joe* The RAGE and the pride* As always, Trump is raising money* Keith is crying piss* A bizarro time machine * Some dating advice for (MAGA?) Mary

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120:49

#444 - We Sell Sanctuary

The Fifth Column ·

2024/03/02

* The worst Scouse accent ever* Blackfishing * Trump and Tish* Lawyers and lawfare* A lunatic DEI artifact from…that company* Congress’s Venceremos Brigade* The immigrant song* The lads disagree…* With burning concern* Fetterman, Mitch, Biden, Tucker again* Matt Remke getting worked* And so much more! This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wethefifth.substack.com/subscribe

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24:27

Members Only #202 - The End of Vice

The Fifth Column ·

2024/02/26

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Back to New York * Subways and free markets* Milei pisses on mercantilism, MAGA types don’t notice* The Foxconn con * The rise and fall of Vice* No one talks about the content…they should * Funny, QAnon all the time doesn’t make money * Shane Gillis om SNL* Nora Dunn and Dice* The people will always decide* A very specific digression on Kansas City. Sorry. * Revisiting that …

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12:00

Members Only #201 - The Sounds of Blackness

The Fifth Column ·

2024/02/22

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.comMatt calls in from a murder motel in Southern California that doesn’t really have wifi. He saves a few bucks. Kmele and Moynihan do the heavy lift. Everybody wins. A few topics discussed:* Houthi bodegas* Industrial policy schizophrenia* Will Kmele join the “back to Africa” movement?* Ujamma and Nyerere’s stash * The Fighting Sullivans (and no, the youngest wasn’…

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76:56

#443 - Take a Load off Fani / RIP Alexei

The Fifth Column ·

2024/02/16

* The Fani Willis train wreck* Daddy and the sacks of cash * $9,999* Russian McDonalds is so good that Tucker doesn’t care about freedom of the press* The political pilgrim* The murder of Alexei Navalny* A wave of whataboutism* Are your 19 year old daughters about to be drafted to fight in Gaza?* Time to retreat from the world?* OpenAI videos are sort of terrifying* Free Rachel Dolezal Kwame Nkrumah This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus

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33:45

Members Only #200 - The Anti-Racist Headset

The Fifth Column ·

2024/02/14

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.comKmele gets an Apple Vision Thing because of he course he does. And he wears it the whole episode because of course he does. It’s a racist product, btw. And Bobby Jr’s Super Bowl ad was good. And Matt likes Usher, it seems. And certain conservatives like visiting and praising dirtbag dictatorships. And in case you hadn’t noticed, Joe Biden thinks it’s 19…

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130:09

#442 - In Defense of Colorblindness (w/ Coleman Hughes)

The Fifth Column ·

2024/02/11

We’re back with two episodes smashed into one! So if you have a spare two hours… First up, our friend Coleman Hughes returns for a one-on-one conversation with Kmele about his brand-new book The End of Race Politics, which you should buy immediately. Also: Coleman was on Bill Maher’s show on Friday, most of which is available on YouTube.After an hour with Coleman, the full team is back for a few very uncomfortable conversations about a few very uncomfortable topics. Just listen and you’ll

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16:48

Members Only #199 - Why You Should Never Fly Coach

The Fifth Column ·

2024/02/09

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.comA rebroadcast of Sunday’s live Zoom, available only to subscribers, of course. And this particular live event was only available to Never Fly Coach-tier subscribers. So you know what that means: If you’re not subscribed, maybe it’s time to pony up? And if you’re already a subscriber…remember that there are different tiers and that we can, in fact, quite…

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87:44

#441 - Dancing Daggers, Disturbed Dignity & Dozens of...

The Fifth Column ·

2024/02/01

* The point of a dagger * The Messenger of death* The billionaire model * WE NEED SOME QUICK BITES* The murder of James O’Keefe* Horrible people, horrible ideas, great writing* Requisite 2024 talk* In (soft of) defense of Jon Stewart* Cori Bush is the Whitney Houston of Congress* LD on Simmons pod* Jamaal Bowmen is the Philip Larkin of 9/11 (hmmmmmm)* Yay for Aaron!* And so much more! This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes,

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27:49

Members Only #198 - Everybody's a Critic (Vol. 144)

The Fifth Column ·

2024/01/29

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* A black man on his toes* MJ at the Apollo * A “Compassionate” Traitor* Ron Radosh’s review of the doc * An entire life of lies* And a list of actual commies in the government (Note from MM: When I say “married to Ethel Rosenberg, * A shitty copy of Mission to Moscow* Listeners and Redditors: you’re wrong about Trump and democracy* The man vs. the movement / MAGA vs. po…

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118:44

#440 - From Nashua to Haaazzaaa

The Fifth Column ·

2024/01/24

Oh dear. Watching the New Hampshire returns, the lads do a spot-on impression of the good old, liquor-soaked days of 2016 Fifth Column and get pretty deep in their cups…so yeah, sorry about this one. * Trump wins* Cutting from Trump’s dumb speech* 20 percent for Dean Phillips* This is, in fact, democracy* No one says anything on cable news* The speeches * The overstatement machine * Moralism doesn’t work * A brave defense of Iran-backed Islamism* A sort of drunken rant about hipster Houthis* The New

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21:14

Members Only #197 - Grappling Joe, Ending Ron,...

The Fifth Column ·

2024/01/23

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Michael Winslow RIP?* Joe Rogan would tear Kmele in half* The cockfighting story that never was * Some pretty pathetic fight stories * That insane UK piano player video* HHHHHHAMAAAAAAZZZ* Chris on Kmele’s pejorative for the Irish* The end of Ron* It was always “inevitable”* Back to the basement* Voters and immigration: not that complicated* You want European politics?* Trump’…

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110:25

#439 - Ladies Tees and Democracy Pleas

The Fifth Column ·

2024/01/21

* This time, we’re not going to hold back* Destroying from the ladies tees* I love with Doug* More media implosions* ¯\_(ツ)_/¯* Democracy is over when my irrelevant newspaper folds* Passover is too Jewish* The uniqueness of the Holocaust* Opinion mongers making calls about newsworthiness * This era as history* Whatchutalkinabout Fani Willis* Ross Douthat and “Neocon Nikki” This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

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