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PODCAST

Beyond Success

Are you a high achiever who"s worked hard, found success, but still feels like something"s missing? Do you wonder what the point of it all is, and long for deeper meaning or love in your life? Welcome to "Beyond Success," the podcast for high achievers seeking fulfillment, happiness, and true purpose. I"m David Tian, Ph.D., Leadership Coach, Certified IFS Therapy Practitioner (Level 3), and a former university professor. I"m also a proud father and husband. I bring two decades of experience,

education self-improvement

All Episodes

44:00

Revealing My Personal Therapeutic Journey: Insights...

Beyond Success ·

2022/12/29

There are two big myths most people believe—my former self included—about therapy which sabotage their results. Especially over the long-term. Even if you have initial success on your therapeutic journey, believing in one of these myths can undermine your progress. The result? You're back to square one, and believe therapy just can’t work for you. But it’s the myths, not the therapeutic process itself, responsible for you snapping back into your old patterns. That’s why in this episode, I’m

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29:02

The Secret Strength of Sadness

Beyond Success ·

2022/12/22

Sadness is something most guys struggle with. But it’s the one emotion they repress the most. And this repression leads to increased stress, anxiety, and depression. Not only that, the increase in cortisol associated with stress can lead to changes in heart rate, motivation and sleep. Worst part? Men who repress their emotions are more likely to visit McDonalds, drink Jack Daniels on a Wednesday, and smoke a pack a day — which leads to women finding them unattractive. This creates a vicious

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39:39

How Self-Acceptance Transforms Painful Emotions

Beyond Success ·

2022/12/15

Last week we covered how “pain is not an emotion.” Ok, great. But what do you do about an emotion that feels painful? In today’s episode, you’ll discover exactly how to deal with painful emotions (even if you’ve been to an IFS therapist before and it didn’t work.) You’ll also discover three emotions that immature people consider to be painful. Listen now! Show Highlights Include: How to murder the feelings of anger, fear, shame, inferiority, and anxiety by mastering these 4 emotional skills (our

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34:02

Make One Simple Shift For True Happiness: Pain Is NOT...

Beyond Success ·

2022/12/08

Pain is not an emotion. Bold statement, I know, but emotional pain actually comes from resisting the emotion that you consider to be painful. In other words, it’s not the pain that’s hurting you, it’s the emotion you find painful. And only when you locate the specific emotion will you be able to achieve emotional resilience, endurance, control, regulation, and become an antifragile man. Locating the specific emotion is obviously easier said than done. But you’re in for a treat. In today’s episode,

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42:18

No Part Of You Is Evil: IFS Therapy & Schwartz's "No...

Beyond Success ·

2022/12/01

Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, and John Wayne Gacy. Without a doubt, some of the sickest individuals to roam America in the 20th century. But according to IFS Therapy & Richard Schwartz’s book, “No Bad Parts”, they aren’t pure evil. But hang on, if they aren’t pure evil, then who is? — and does the concept even exist? In today’s episode, you’ll discover the answer to this question at (5:42). You’ll also discover the concept of “blending” to understand the forces behind evil intentions and actions

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40:48

Psychology of Black Panther 2: Your Shadow Work

Beyond Success ·

2022/11/24

Shadows are repressed parts of you that have been exiled, disowned, and thrust into your unconscious. In other words, they’re still there — and causing you untold amounts of pain and suffering. The worst part? You might think you killed it off, or you might not even be aware these shadows are still a part of you. But if you know how to encounter, understand, unburden, and integrate your shadows, it will result in lasting happiness and unconditional love. In fact, taking these 4 steps are required to

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29:53

Why Your Ego Is NOT The Enemy: How to Resolve Inner...

Beyond Success ·

2022/11/17

Socially awkward guys don’t get girls, that’s the cold, hard truth. But hiding your social awkwardness and anxiety isn’t the answer either. When you repress, exile, and cut out your social anxiety in order to feel good about yourself, you force it further into your subconscious. And when you cram it into the depths of your brain? it’s still active, and it’s still there sabotaging your success, but now you’re no longer aware of it. That’s the bad news. The good news? You can leverage your social

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53:59

Psychology of House of the Dragon & the Myth of Pure...

Beyond Success ·

2022/11/10

Immature boys subscribe to the belief of “pure evil.” These boys need to seek out the hero’s journey. They need to seek out “good” vs. “evil.” So they can categorically define somebody as a hero or a villain. But guess what? Clinging onto this worldview in your 30’s and 40’s is the best way to live a life devoid of passion, unconditional love, and sex. Believing in this outdated ideology causes tremendous heartache. Your protective forcefield gets deployed, physically and psychologically. Because of

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38:41

Why Voicing Your Insecurities is a Form of Emotional...

Beyond Success ·

2022/11/03

Here’s a true story: James was at a party with his girlfriend. There was a hilarious, tall, and handsome dude who kept making her laugh — obnoxiously loud. She was giving him attention and practically ignoring James. And the jokes he made? They fell flat on their face — she didn’t laugh at all. At first, he started to think, “Damn, I suck.” But after a while, his mind began to race with questions: Is he actually funny, or is she laughing way too hard to get his attention? Should I bring this up

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44:22

Psychology of She-Hulk: Appreciating Women's POV

Beyond Success ·

2022/10/27

Do you struggle to understand modern women? Sometimes, they’re downright confusing. They cry when they read a book. They give hints instead of telling you what’s wrong. And they base their decisions entirely on emotion. But here’s a reality check: while the other men who figured women out are having a warm, connected, and passionate relationship… You’re sitting on your sofa at 10:30pm — alone. If you want to date modern women, you need to understand them. But don’t worry. In this episode you’re

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34:02

Compensatory Narcissism, Fixer Mindset, & Nice Guys

Beyond Success ·

2022/10/20

Have you ever heard “nice guys finish last?” Imagine this: you’re super nice, know how to flirt with women, but after months of talking to an attractive woman, you get rejected. It always seems to go well until you fall in love with her, only to have it spat back in your face. Most men after years of being the “nice guy” are fed up (and rightly so.) They decide to become an alpha male. They go to the gym, learn “game”, try their hand at pick-up artistry, and for a few dates they’re successful. But

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33:10

This Story Of Two Young Men Unlocks Unconditional...

Beyond Success ·

2022/10/13

Same age, same high school, same upbringing. Man 1.0: He’s working overtime, he’s pulling all-nighters, he never sees his kids, and he’s sacrificed his personal life for his professional life. By age 70, he’s clinically depressed, suffering from chronic health problems, and recovering from 3 less than amicable divorces (and disliked by his children). Man 2.0: He wakes up every day with a sense of purpose, invigorated, vitalised, and looking to attack the day ahead. By age 70, he’s about to celebrate

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45:35

Self-Criticism vs. Self-Acceptance

Beyond Success ·

2022/10/06

Do you buy into the myth that success alone brings happiness and fulfillment? The techniques 95% of Americans use to strive for success, growth, and personal development guarantees they won’t be fulfilled in the long run. There is a completely different and unique way to approach success. And it’s imperative you discover this way to gain personal happiness, success, and insane amounts of growth in your life. In today’s episode, you’ll discover how to experience success and growth — while also being

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51:19

Why Traditional Therapy Doesn't Work and What To Do...

Beyond Success ·

2022/09/29

The idea that men need to be fixed is wrong. It results in fake progress, toxic growth, and unnecessary amounts of pain. Men quit because of this outdated concept. Many therapists (even some of the ones in the IFS Therapy Directory) peddle and hold onto this toxic idea. In this episode, I answer a listener question and reveal how you can alleviate your pain and accelerate your healing and growth through the therapeutic process. You’ll also discover why relying on a bad therapist you found through a

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33:26

Is Being Vulnerable Attractive To Women?

Beyond Success ·

2022/09/22

Vulnerable guys are ugly. That’s what women think at least. Millions of men around the world have been told to show off their vulnerable side. And when they do? Women judge them ruthlessly, making them get angry and frustrated. But it’s not because they’re vulnerable — it’s because they’re being vulnerable in the wrong way. Men feel like women don’t respect them for being vulnerable. So if being vulnerable isn’t the answer, then what is? The right way is definitely not the “redpilled” crowd or

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40:54

Why "Work Hard, Play Hard" Destroys Your Relationships

Beyond Success ·

2022/09/15

Work hard, play hard. It’s one of the most dangerous attitudes to adopt if you want a strong, fulfilling, and sexually active relationship. Many men try to party well into their 40’s, leaving their wife and child behind. They think their problems will disappear, and they can live the lifestyle of their 20’s. But this only causes despair, anguish, anxiety, loneliness, and depression. In this episode, you’ll discover an ethical way to get your girlfriend to beg to go out on date nights, dress up for

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46:58

How To Argue Constructively In A Relationship...

Beyond Success ·

2022/09/08

Can you remember the last argument you had with your partner or a past partner? Most couples can’t remember the specifics of why they fought. Instead, they only remember the emotional baggage from it. Here’s why I bring it up: A listener recently wrote in and asked me to dissect two different types of fights: one with a couple who haven’t gone through the therapeutic process, and one who has. In this episode, you’ll discover how therapized couples argue, so you can argue in a healthy way that

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33:48

How Self-Help Can Lead To Toxic Growth

Beyond Success ·

2022/09/01

Self-help seems like a viable way to get rid of your neediness or insecurities. But it actually heightens these feelings — and makes you miserable. Why? Because most self-help gurus, courses, and books promote toxic growth. Fetishizing growth is a recipe for depression, anxiety, and shame. That’s the bad news. The good news? You don’t need “growth” to be happy. In this episode, you’ll discover how self-help leads to toxic growth. And 3 simple ways avoid the “Toxic Growth Trap” many men fall

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45:33

The 3 Requirements for a Successful Relationship

Beyond Success ·

2022/08/25

As many as 90% of loving relationships transform into cold indifference. This is true even in intimate, long-term relationships. In fact, the more intimate your relationship becomes, the more likely you are to sabotage it. Why? Because intimacy triggers your buried inner child parts—and they wreak havoc when they surface. But don’t worry. In this episode, you’ll discover the 3 requirements for a successful long-term relationship. Want to be one of the lucky 10% whose relationship grows each day,

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40:14

How to Naturally Create a Healthy, Intimate Relationship

Beyond Success ·

2022/08/18

Finding a healthy, intimate relationship isn’t as easy as downloading a dating app or watching pick-up artists on YouTube. In fact, these routes can lead you down a dark path which amplifies your neediness. But you know what? Finding a healthy, intimate relationship isn’t as difficult as you’re making it either. There are simple steps you can follow which help you magnetize love, happiness, and fulfillment into your relationships. In this episode, you’ll discover 4 simple steps that will help you

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