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PODCAST

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Hello, I"m psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves.Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday"s you"ll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday.The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

08:39

Bucket Emptying Episodes; Help! I Hate Playing With...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/04/28

In this week's episode of the Bucket Emptying podcast, we tackle a wonderfully honest question: "Help! I hate playing with my children."As parents, it's natural to feel overwhelmed at times. But, we can learn a lot from our children by being authentic and vulnerable.Listen in to hear my top tips on how to connect with your children and make the most of your time together.Purchase your ticket for the next 60-minutes with Dr Maryhan 'Stop Battling Back-Chat' at 8pm GMT on the 22nd of May.Watch the

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29:45

Changing Self-Critical Language

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/04/24

How can we help our children change their constant self-critical talk? Whether it's "I can't" all the way to "I am not enough" - they become the sum of what they hear and it's time to change!Here are the highlights:(2:35) Why is this important?(6:06) A bit of science…(7:58) Self-audit(13:41) The brain mechanisms at play(15:20) Where do your child’s self-critical thoughts show up most?(19:00) Focus on the direction they want to travel(23:15) Get your child on board - don’t lecture!Purchase your

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09:56

Bucket Emptying Episodes; I Don't Want My Child To...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/04/21

As parents, we all want to cherish every moment we have with our children. But what happens when the thought of them growing up becomes overwhelming?This week's Bucket Emptying podcast episode tackles this listener question head-on. Listen in as I share my top tips on how to cope with this common fear.Purchase your ticket for the next 60-minutes with Dr Maryhan 'Stop Battling Back-Chat' at 8pm GMT on the 22nd of May.Watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on YoutubeTo access the free resources mentioned

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18:55

Ep 150 - 18th April - Vulnerability in parenting

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/04/17

Being vulnerable as a parent feels counterintuitive - aren't we meant to be strong, unwavering in our confidence, and stable?? Yes, and no! I'll share why vulnerability will in fact make you a better parent and how. Here are the highlights:(1:25) What do we mean by vulnerability?(3:20) Be mindful who you’re vulnerable with!(7:20) Vulnerability encourages and creates emotional connection(8:55) Vulnerability creates harmony and peace(8:29) Vulnerability cultivates a growth mindset(12:39) Vulnerability

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11:30

Bucket Emptying Episodes; I'm Worried I Won't Be A...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/04/14

In this week's Bucket Emptying podcast episode I answer a question from a listener who is expecting her first child and is worried she won't be a good mum.Firstly, thank you! I've had some amazing questions from listeners recently and your answers help every parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle and educator that listens in. Your openness helps others.Back to the episode, listen in as I share my 3 top tips for anyone feeling like an imposter, not just expectant mothers.Purchase your ticket for my

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25:54

For Your Children

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/04/10

Ever wished I could speak directly to your children and offer them my tips and advice?? Well this episode is just for them - alright, and you if you really must listen to it!! I share with them 5 empowering truths. Purchase your ticket for my inaugural It Takes A Village; Raising Resilient Adults conference on the 18th of April at Farnborough Hill School. Join me for a day of talks, and hands-on workshops covering topics ranging from confidence, neurodiversity, emotional regulation, online safety,

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08:02

Bucket Emptying Episodes; Know Your Vulnerabilities

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/04/07

In today's bucket emptying episode, I talk about something that will help you as a parent, and that's about knowing your weaknesses, and your vulnerabilities.Children and teenagers thrive from a very consistent approach to boundaries, but our approach can relax when we are vulnerable.Join me as I explain how knowing your weaknesses and our vulnerabilities is a really crucial part to knowing and understanding where you are being inconsistent with your parenting.Purchase your ticket for my inaugural

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28:38

Are We Too Soft (Part 2)

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/04/03

Course correcting 101. How can we help children from 2 - 18 years operate outside their zone of comfort without compromising their emotional-wellbeing?? This is a super practical episode with lots of how toos. You won't want to miss it!!Here are the highlights:(2:30) Reminder of importance of high expectations, agency and boundaries(4:20) Why have I chosen a toddler, 8 year old and 15 year old ages/stages of development?(8:26) Examples of how to hold your child to high expectations for each

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08:02

Bucket Emptying Episodes; The Power Of Yet

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/03/31

Have you heard of the "power of yet"?This tiny word holds an enormous amount of potential, and in this week's Bucket Emptying podcast episode, you'll learn how to harness its power.Discover how adding 'yet' to a statement can unlock a world of possibilities for both you and your children.Purchase your ticket for my inaugural It Takes A Village; Raising Resilient Adults conference on the 18th of April at Farnborough Hill School. Join me for a day of talks, and hands-on workshops covering topics

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22:07

Are we too soft? (Part 1)

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/03/28

Have we given our children an opt-out clause, allowing them to avoid difficult things, because we're so worried about their emotional being??? I think so. How do we course correct? I'll share in this two-part episode. Highlights:(1:14) Has the pendulum swung too far?(4:00) Children are a building under construction(5:55) Are you preparing them for their future?(11:16) Hold your children to high expectations(14:17) Create a sense of agency for your child(17:45) The importance of boundariesPurchase

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09:49

Bucket Emptying Episode; The One Minute Welcome Rule

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/03/25

I've got a great Bucket Emptying tip for you today - the one minute rule.This is super helpful to reset your mindset when returning home from work, collecting your children from school and is a great tip to teach your children too!I hope you enjoy the episode. Please share with anyone you think could find it helpful.Purchase your ticket to my inaugural It Takes A Village; Raising Resilient Adults conference on the 18th of April at Farnborough Hill School. Join me for a day of talks, and hands-on

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19:00

Managing 'Big' Change

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/03/21

Big change can feel super scary. What we might see as routine our children might feel is their biggest challenge yet! How we prepare them is crucial - remember we're raising resilient adults. Here are the highlights:(01:08) The balanced see-saw(3:44) Acknowledge your child’s lens(6:12) Be prepared(9:31) Talk about it sooner rather than later(12:40) Actively listen to your child(15:21) Build your child’s toolkit and practicePurchase your ticket to my inaugural It Takes A Village; Raising Resilient

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10:45

Bucket Emptying Episodes; Why It Takes A Village

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/03/18

Why do parents need a village to raise resilient adults in the 21st century?Listen to this week's Bucket Emptying podcast episode as I discuss the premise behind the "it takes a village" proverb and its relevance in our modern world.I'll explore the 3 key reasons we all need a village to thrive and succeed.Purchase your ticket to my inaugural It Takes A Village; Raising Resilient Adults conference on the 18th of April at Farnborough Hill School. Join me for a day of talks, and hands-on workshops

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25:41

Do Time-outs Work??

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/03/14

When our child is throwing the mother of all tantrums what do we do? My advice has always been not to use ‘the naughty step’ for the simple reason that it takes a child who is experiencing some pretty big, sometimes scary emotions and isolates them. However, a 'time-out' can be used effectively when the timing is right. Let me explain...Here are the highlights:(01:00) Naughty steps and removal of a child can be negative if used inappropriately(5:10) Understand the driver behind the behaviour(6:49)

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11:01

Bucket Emptying Episodes; Am I A Bad Child?

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/03/11

This week’s Bucket Emptying podcast episode addresses a question from a concerned parent - how to support a child who is self-deprecating after making poor choices.Your child might say things like "I'm a bad person", "I'm a naughty person", or "I'm awful” after snatching a toy from a friend, getting angry when they’re frustrated or squabbling with a sibling.Listen in as I explain how to help your child understand that their behaviour is separate from their identity and doesn’t define them!Purchase

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38:37

Great Habits for Super Young Children

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/03/07

Here’s a thought for you – every interaction you have with your child will leave a trace – in the wiring of their brain. Repeated interactions of the same type will build permanent connections – so we want these to be helpful ones which build resilience rather than reliance.In this episode I’ll share the five core skills we should be teaching our under five year olds to give them the best possible start whilst reminding you it’s never too late to start.Here are the highlights:(01:02) Our children

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10:15

Bucket Emptying Episodes; How To Create New Habits

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/03/04

This week's Bucket Emptying podcast episode is a must-listen as it'll help both you and your children!It's all about creating new habits, and I share my top tips to not only establish new habits but to also maintain them in the long-term.Tune in now and discover how you can make positive changes in your life.Purchase your ticket for the next 60-minutes with Dr Maryhan 'Preparing for Success; How to Help Your Child Set and Achieve Exam Goals' at 8pm GMT on the 7th of March.Watch the Bucket Emptying

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29:57

Back-Chat & Boundaries

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/02/29

I get asked about back-chat a lot as I know it’s something we can really struggle with as parents.We usually associate this type of behaviour with the teenagers being rebellious and pushing every boundary, but it’s about what’s happening in our children’s internal world than something which is specifically related to a given age or stage of development. I’ll share my thoughts on why we are seeing this behaviour and I’ll share my top strategies to help and support.Here are the highlights:{1:18} Why

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11:38

Bucket Emptying Episodes; Can I Insist On No Devices...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/02/26

In this week's Bucket Emptying podcast episode I'm answering a listener question "Can I insist on no devices when my child is having a sleepover?"With the rise of technology, it's a question that many of you may face, andas the CEO of your family, you can insist on this!Listen in asshare my strategies to manage this situation and ensure that your child has a device-free sleepover.Purchase your ticket for the next 60-minutes with Dr Maryhan 'Preparing for Success; How to Help Your Child Set and

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25:52

The Power Of Words

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2024/02/22

We have 6,000 thoughts a day - 80% are negative and 90% of which are habitual. If you have low confidence you're telling yourself 4,800 times day you're not good enough!! I'll share how you can help your child build a new narrative. Here are the highlights:{1:18} The impact of words{4:15} Our words shape our child’s brain{6:50} They are always listening!{9:21} Think about the gender-based language{12:50} Be mindful not to over praise{16:10} 80% of thoughts are repetitive and negative{18:05} Their

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