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PODCAST

Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn"t think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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All Episodes

41:20

The Adjudication Panel: "Some bloke sat in a booth...

Football Cliches ·

2024/04/22

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some commentary highlights from the FA Cup semi-finals, a classic anti-VAR put-down, a surprise trumpet player on a George Michael album, football chat at the snooker once again, Guardian Football Weekly debating glancing headers and Thomas Muller ending the most tenuous footballing drought of all time. Meanwhile, the panel discuss what type of goal is best described as "a peach" and decide

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42:12

All-English European ties & post-goal iPad analysis:...

Football Cliches ·

2024/04/17

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' April entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the hapless but unifying body language of a player who doesn't know where the ball is, a genuinely worrying peripheral astroturf hang-up, the downsides of teams from the same country being drawn together in Europe and the impact of the iPad on managerial decorum after their team has

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48:36

The Adjudication Panel: "What a horse he was, by the...

Football Cliches ·

2024/04/15

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: players forgetting it's a cup game in their post-match interview, notably young referees, Wayne Rooney's childhood Match of the Day dream, Barclays-era referees popping up in The Simpsons and Andy Gray answering his own questions.Meanwhile, the panel discuss teams "trying to score the perfect goal" and enjoy Matt Le Tissier being out-weirded for once. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

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62:51

Sizeable hillocks & nightclubbing with McCoist: Jon...

Football Cliches ·

2024/04/11

The pod welcomes commentator Jon Champion for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.Among Jon's selections are Ally McCoist's sheer enthusiasm for football (and life), the romance of the underdog, overseas fans' fascination with English football, the temptation of recency bias, the grilled shrimp at Minnesota United and the overcomplication of football terminology. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel grill their guest on the

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37:57

The Adjudication Panel: James Ward-Prowse Territories...

Football Cliches ·

2024/04/08

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: James Ward-Prowse making the podcast eat its words, some subversive penalty commentary, some harsh words for a 50-yard clearance upfield, some rare footballers called Pete and people talking like Richard Keys in unexpected places. Meanwhile, the panel bemoan some hasty Panenka-declaring and decide the derby most likely to inspire the words "in these parts". Learn more about your ad choices

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45:48

The Adjudication Panel: Elland Road trigonometry &...

Football Cliches ·

2024/04/03

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a much-needed abbreviation for the business end of the EFL campaign, some autopilot content with the Brazilian Ronaldo, an audiobook voiceover artist guessing the tune of a football chant, a unique goalscoring verb, Richard Keys on his own Wikipedia page and why there aren't any footballers called "Pete".Meanwhile, the panel decide if a corner can be described as "[Player X] territory"

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46:55

The Adjudication Panel: We've said 'come and listen...

Football Cliches ·

2024/04/01

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Jude Bellingham staying one step ahead of the England news cycle, a suitably literal analysis of the chant "Is this a library?", whether a very specific type of penalty decision is really in the spirit of the game, Gary Neville on Beyonce, Andy Gray's greatest hits, and Richard Keys’ career advice for Xabi Alonso. Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many passes constitute a "string" and whether a

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79:56

The Football Cliches Quiz #11

Football Cliches ·

2024/03/28

The Football Clichés Quiz is back once again as the Clichés team welcome their latest podcast challengers in the form of Scottish football experts The Terrace for a three-round Battle of Britain.The questions include international allegiance switchers, potentially Satanic backwards football audio, Anglo-Scottish exports, some more A.I. foreign-language dubbing action, semi-forgotten Old Firm Englishmen and, of course, the Happy Hunting Grounds round. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

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45:26

The Adjudication Panel: Among the assists, prime...

Football Cliches ·

2024/03/26

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Being "among the goals" (and, even worse, "among the assists"), whether Endrick really did "light up Wembley", if friendlies count as the "Road to [Tournament Host Nation X]" and whether the word "goalposts" is set for footballing extinction. Meanwhile, the panel ponder which player has their "prime" cited the most before ranking and rating the terms used for an individual player being a

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40:48

Centre-backs leading the line, overlapping kick-off...

Football Cliches ·

2024/03/21

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' March entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the quiet honour of spotting how much added time there will be before the fourth official holds the board aloft, the curious lack of a genuine market leader for shin pads, the aesthetics of long-range efforts going in at the near post and the anxiety of trying to choose which game

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51:26

The Adjudication Panel: Pivotal wins, corners in a...

Football Cliches ·

2024/03/19

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Jonathan Pearce's most Partridge moment to date, the parameters of a "pivotal" win, some inspired sleep-related footballspeak from Matty Cash, and the first ever recorded example of a commentator heralding an opener by saying "could it be one?". Meanwhile, the panel ponder what sort of chance would be described as a "good one by his standards" and we look forward to a clash for the ages as

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39:09

The Adjudication Panel: Agemates, locksmiths & Alan...

Football Cliches ·

2024/03/14

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: footballspeak in the darts world, Rio Ferdinand on locksmiths, League One clubs tweeting like heartbroken teenagers, football-inspired parenting and some planning permission woe for Alan Curbishley.Meanwhile, the panel ponder whether a penalty can be put "back where it came from" and whether a goal confirmed by goal-line technology can be described as "fired home". Learn more about

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48:27

The Adjudication Panel: "Over to you [Title Rival X]"...

Football Cliches ·

2024/03/12

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Guy Mowbray slips back into footballspeak on Gladiators, some free-kick technique on Coronation Street, the use of "over to you" in Premier League title races, a 4/10 Super Sunday promo montage, Anfield's "sucking the ball into the net" tradition turned on its head and some Keys & Gray chat that BeIN Sports didn't want us to hear...Meanwhile, the panel decide whether a goal can be "taken well"

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39:06

The Adjudication Panel: Great White Shark 0 Killer...

Football Cliches ·

2024/03/07

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a new twist for "the streets will never forget", news of a textbook away win for a killer whale, some baffling Football Focus revisionism, the "dropping like flies" threshold, and Keys & Gray get stuck into IFAB's latest tweaks to the laws of the game.Meanwhile, the panel debate the direction you should write out a starting lineup and run through a Premier League table of nicknames

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44:31

The Adjudication Panel: the Haaland missed sitter...

Football Cliches ·

2024/03/05

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a comprehensive review of the Haaland missed sitter incredulity, footballspeak finding its way into the World Indoor Athletics Championships, the great gap vs gulf vs chasm debate, Ollie Watkins' Weston-Super-Mare origin story, and yet another attempt by Keys & Gray to identify the next Manchester United manager. Meanwhile, the panel define the difference between being in the mix, in the

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80:43

The Football Cliches Quiz X

Football Cliches ·

2024/02/29

The Football Clichés Quiz returns for its tenth edition and, for the first time, the Clichés pod team up to take on the trivia might of the Career We Go Podcast across six rounds of niche football knowledge.Posers include clubs who’ve never had an Adidas kit, Coventry’s forgotten Euro 2000 star, Premier League one-game wonders, A.I. translations of cult football outbursts, managerial microphilosophies, tantalisingly-revealed career paths and the Cliches pod's very own Happy Hunting Grounds

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51:32

The Adjudication Panel: G-Nev's adjectives, cynical...

Football Cliches ·

2024/02/27

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Gary Neville breaking an obscure rule of the English language, "doing the hard bit" before delivering a cross, unexpected Serie A references on Gladiators, the textbook scenario for a striker "gobbling up" a chance, a welcome return for "In & Around" Corner, and Keys & Gray's footballing weekend. Meanwhile, the panel imagine what a "cynical" finish would look like and what constitutes "the

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45:35

The Adjudication Panel: Lithuanian ultimate frisbee &...

Football Cliches ·

2024/02/22

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the cut-off point for being able to say you work "in football", some curious commentary from the Lithuanian ultimate frisbee scene, a non-league co-commentator who exists almost purely in vowel sounds, the least perilous disciplinary tightrope of all time and the language of Champions League first legs. Meanwhile, the panel decide the entry requirements for football's "exclusive clubs"

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50:43

The Adjudication Panel: Sensory football, a 27-second...

Football Cliches ·

2024/02/20

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the shortest bright start ever made to a football match, mid-2000s Man Utd workhorses popping up in US crime serials, the most cited of the five senses in football commentary, Keir Starmer's latest pre-election football analogy and Richard Keys' war on socks. Meanwhile, the panel decide how far "a stone's throw" from a stadium is allowed to be and uncover a pro-Fulham TV drama

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39:46

”Genuine height", European banana skins and the...

Football Cliches ·

2024/02/15

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' February entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are mishit shots that turn into crossfield passes, players going to absurd lengths to convince a referee they got the ball in a tackle, when both sets of fans applaud a passage of play, full-backs refusing to readjust their shorts and montages that constantly remind you of a famous

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214 results

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