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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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1:09

George and 9/11

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/24

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He came up with all kinds of crazy schemes and plans. "If we ram ships into the World Trade Center, we can bring them down," he said. "Why?" asked the captain. "What would be the point?" George thought for a moment. "You're right. It would destroy everything worth looting. It's just evil." George crumpled up his plans and tossed them in the trash. Later that night, a Muslim crewman dug out the plans, photographed them, and sent them to his

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2:01

George on St. Patrick’s Day

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/23

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Still, he was a better pirate than all these posers going around saying "YARRRR!" and "SHIVER ME TIMBERS!" on Talk Like A Pirate Day. It was worse than an Irish pub on St. Patrick's Day. All those amateurs drinking green-colored swill. Disgusting. And if you tried to pinch a pirate for not wearing green on St. Patrick's Day, they'd run you through with their sword. A drunk tourist pointed at George and went "ARRRRRRRR!" George pushed them into

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1:28

George in the treasure chest

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/22

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He'd get completely drunk and crawl into a treasure chest, and then he'd close the lid. Sometimes, George had to fold himself up really tight, but he took yoga classes and regularly worked on keeping himself limber and flexible. Then, when his shipmates opened the treasure chest, he'd leap out and yell BOO! Well, that what he'd hoped to do. But usually, he'd kinda flop out of the treasure chest and vomit and pass out. You know, because he was so

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1:11

George and the floods

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/21

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate.He watched the news and saw the devastation from the hurricane. "If you stay, be sure to write your name and social security number on your arm so we can identify your body," said the mayor. When they called for rescue boats, George hopped in the ship's rowboat and did his best to rescue as many people as possible. "Thank you, George!' they all said. "You're welcome," said George. After the rain stopped and the waters receded, George sold all

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10:44

Weekly Challenge #991 – Budget airline

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/20

LisaRichard Thomas Lizzie Serendipidy Tom Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is PICK TWO Castle, Rules, Root, Naked in the snow, A pillow LISA Interview with one of the two Plane Crash Survivors “Marie, What an experience. How did you manage to last nearly a year out there?” “For a start we had decent bedding. The contents of people’s cases were amazing. Some real luxury treats in there. We’d made a shelter from part of the plane. Most of the fittings had come loose

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1:07

George changes

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/19

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He spent very little time pirating and too much time thinking. He has a lot of bad ideas. "That would be like trying to change a car engine while you're driving it down the freeway," said the captain. "But we're in a ship, not a car," said George. "You can pull down the sails and replace them without much of a problem. Or replace the rudder with another." The captain nodded, but pointed at the rapidly approaching British Navy. "Can you hurry up

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1:08

George vs the hurricanes

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/18

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. The governor called for evacuations because of an imminent hurricane, so a lot of people ran out of gas on the freeways and got stuck. George convinced pirates to pick up as many people as they could and sail away to safety. Of course, the pirates held the people for ransom, but were reasonable and offered hurricane discounts. And it wasn't exactly brutal kidnapping, either. Most just partied and had a good time on their boats. "That was great!"

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1:13

George and the mermaid

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/17

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He'd sit on the rocks by the shore, talking to Cassandra, the last of the mermaids. They'd trade stories while watching the sun go down. One day, Cassandra never showed up. George assumed that she'd gone through The Emerald Gate, never to return. But she'd actually gotten tangled in a Japanese fishing trawler's net. For years, she traveled in a freakshow carnival. Telling her stories to the crowds. Leaping through hoops, singing her

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1:32

George and the drive-through window

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/16

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. But he was a genius compared to the dimwits at the drive-through. George pulled the ship up to the speaker, lowering sails and dropping anchor. He assumed that the noise was someone trying to say "Can I take your order?" George read the list he'd gotten from his crewmates, but the speaker kept interrupting him. "Can't I just pull up and give you this list?" More static barely resembling human speech. George pulled up anyway, and handed over the

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1:23

George and the pirate code

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/15

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He never learned The Pirate Code. So, the time when he ended up in prison, he was woken up by the strange tapping on the stone wall. He'd summon the guards to complain, and the guards would nod and open the cell next to him. "I was trying to tell you that we're breaking out tonight, you idiot!" shouted the prisoner being dragged off. "Oh, okay!" shouted George back. "Thank you!" George slept peacefully... until he heard the chiseling in the

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1:40

George and the little kids rock

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/14

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Every time he took his ship into the harbor, he'd end up smashing it into Little Kids Rock, and he'd have to be rescued. How did the rock get the name "Little Kids Rock?" Well, not so long ago, a little boy gathered up wood scraps, glued and nailed and lashed them together, and made himself a raft. He put it in the water, got on board, raised his ragged sail, and drifted out of the harbor. George's ship smashed into it. And then he smashed into

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14:18

Weekly Challenge #990 – Place

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/13

Lisa Tom Richard Lizzie Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Budget airline LISA A Glimpse of my Future She’d placed three cards on the table. Face down. Nodding after each was revealed. “The first I see a man. In uniform he’s tall. I foretell a pursuit.” She turned the final card, and sighed saying “Yes. The chase will be relentless.” She gathered the cards and returned them to the deck then placed them in her basket. We both moved away from the table

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1:24

George vs Cthulhu

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/12

In dread R’lyeh, Cthulhu lies dreaming. Well, that is, until the crash of a shipwreck woke him up. “What the hell was that?” growled the massive tentacled alien beast. A pirate walked up to him. “Hi, I’m George,” said George. “I’m lost.” Cthulhu looked at George with bewilderment. Nobody has ever looked upon him without going completely mad. “Don’t you feel the urge to drool and gibber incoherently?” “Not really.” Cthulhu gave George directions. “Thanks,” said George, and he left. A day later, he

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1:25

George’s parking space

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/11

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. His priorities were completely out of whack. "No, George, you can't have your own parking space," said the captain. "We're pirates. We're always out at sea, plundering. You'll never need a parking space." During the next raid, George somehow managed to plunder a Buick dealership. "Oh, great," grumbled George. "Now where will I park this car?" He tried to park in the captain's space, but the captain had George's car towed. George gave the Buick

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11:15

Weekly Challenge #989 – Server

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/06

LisaRichard Lizzie Thomas Ian Serendipidy Tom Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is Place LISA The Server Pete, a medical student, was working part time as a waiter. It’d been a difficult shift a packed restaurant with one particularly rude customer mostly insulting him and questioning his intelligence. He didn’t contradict her. It was a placement week and the same awful customer had been in a nasty car crash. Her shoulder had come out of its socket; He

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1:26

George on a cruise ship

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/05

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Any time he led a raid on another ship, things didn't end well. Unless you count that time George led a raid on that Filipino cruise ship. They were going to rob the casino, but people mistook them for actors playing pirates. "This is better than the shows in Vegas!" said the cruise ship's captain. "Can you do this for every one of our cruise ships?" George's captain signed the contract, and they made more money playing pirate roles than

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1:05

George and the swear jar

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/03

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Most sailors speak in ways that are saltier than the seas, but George did his best to avoid swearing. He had a swear jar by his bunk, and every time he swore, he'd put a piece of eight in it. His shipmates would steal from the jar, and George would shout "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MONEY?" And he'd drop another piece of eight in the jar. Which his shipmates would also steal. His shipmates eventually stole enough money to throw themselves a party. No,

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1:17

George the… whirling dervish?

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/02

George was a dervish, but he wasn't a very good dervish. He tried to whirl, but he'd get dizzy quickly, and he'd trip over his own feet. So, he tried to whirl the other way, and he'd trip over his feet even more quickly. That's when George decided to give up whirling, and he'd stand perfectly still. "What good is a dervish who does not whirl?" growled his dance master. "Does not the earth turn?" said George. "And orbit the sun? Which orbits the galaxy?" The dance master pondered this, and then

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1:08

George eats local

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/01

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He sailed the world, adventuring with his shipmates. But unlike them, he would take in local culture and cuisine. He'd be sipping coffee at a sidewalk cafe or enjoying some delicacy in a hole-in-the-wall while they'd be lining up at the McDonalds for a Big Mac and fries. And then they'd plunder and loot the place, burning it to the ground. George didn't try to convince his crewmates that going local was better than franchise food. Because he

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1:26

Lisa – Empty Click

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/31

TOAST The house felt empty when the first responders forced the door but found Paul unconscious on the kitchen floor. They fired up the defibrillator; heard the click that signaled it was ready, then waited for the green light. “Clear!” Paul’s body jerked but was unresponsive. The room filled with Ambulance Staff, Police, Family. A toaster, tethered by its plug, was hanging off the side; his Mum put back in its place. The job got harder the smaller the room became but they continued well after they

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