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PODCAST

No Crying In Baseball

When Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you"ll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman"s best friend, and there"s no crying in baseball.

sports baseball

All Episodes

63:19

Your Posse is Adorable

No Crying In Baseball ·

2023/01/17

We walk you through both International Signing Day and the deadline to push slips of paper with numbers on them across the table (also how arbitration works and who avoided it). The Carlos Correa crab game has come to a close and Patti is not even smug about being right. We share our boyfriend picks for both the Twins and the Cubs. Pottymouth chooses the happy energy of Jose Miranda while Patti goes all family ties with Nick Gordon on the Twins side. For the Cubs, Pottymouth leans into a

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58:43

The Reclamation Tour

No Crying In Baseball ·

2023/01/10

We’ve got a supersized Police Blotter this week, what with the Dodgers doing the right thing at the very last minute. We ponder why it took so long to DFA Trevor Bauer, and what may happen if another MLB team has the poor judgment to pick him up, ranging from T shirt purges to vandalism. We explore the relationship of adult beverages to crime as 1) the man who whipped two cans of White Claw at Ted Cruz during the Astros parade gets a pass, and 2) the man charged with a September break-in of

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61:02

Cuba, Complicity, and Christmas Beer on New Years

No Crying In Baseball ·

2023/01/03

We kick off the new year with Rockies and Rangers boyfriends. Patti is already considering Rangers pitching for our wacky fantasy league, but that’s separate from picking Josh Smith, because LSU and other compelling factors. Pottymouth selects Nathaniel Lowe because he’s a pottymouth, and other compelling reasons. For the Rockies, Patti and Dante Bichette both see the potential in Brendan Rodgers, and Pottymouth likes that Yonatan Daza is always dancing. A Dominican court convicted ten

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60:47

Merry Gin and Tonicka

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/12/27

As you might expect, Patti and the Pottymouth spend Christmas night talking baseball, fact-checking “The Chanukah song,” and drinking gin and tonickas. We cannot avoid the Carlos Correa kerfuffle, but we off-set it with other players on the move and Aaron Judge’s Rolex. We introduce our Tigers and Reds boyfriends: Riley Greene and Spencer Torkelson, Tyler Stephenson and Jose Barrero. It’s Christmas so why the heck not bring up disappointing Trevor Bauer news? And we get to the AirBnB part

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63:54

Jane Austen / MLB Fan Fiction Crossover

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/12/20

Are we Team Italy now? Our Royals picks point that way. Pottymouth orders the Italian Breakfast (and former flying monkey) Vinnie Pasquantino and Patti selects Nicky Lopez, who is boots on the ground with his community involvement. Our Pirates guys include a Cleveland favorite, Carlos Santana, and a rookie record-breaker in Oneil Cruz. Dansby Swanson to the Cubs is the last of the top tier shortstop free agents deals this go round, and it gives us a chance to talk about Mallory some more

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55:54

Laser Hops

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/12/13

The first FA shortstop moves tick off two major metropolitan areas. Pottymouth mourns Boston’s loss of the XMan to Xan Diego, and Patti shares the DMV’s piled-on feeling of Trea to Phils – another former Nat back to a rival NL East team. Josh Bell to the Guards just puts another jersey on Patti’s Christmas list. We kick off our off-season boyfriend profile picks with the As and the Nats. Pottymouth stocks up on catchers early with Oakland’s Shea Langeliers, and brings along his star athlete

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39:19

Some of Our Best Friends are Old Guys

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/12/06

In advance of the Winter Meetings, starting pitcher signings are the big news but NCiB boyfriends are also on the move, including a full boyfriend trade between the Brewers and Mariners. Miguel Cabrera announces his upcoming retirement, reminding us that in addition to spectacular batting stats, he’ll leave a legacy of giving back to his communities. The Winter Meetings bring us a new draft lottery, the Rule 5 Draft, and the Take the Field program focusing on women working in baseball

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47:42

Stupid Rules, but a Good Time

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/11/29

The Thanksgiving weekend gives us the opportunity to highlight teams and players giving back, through hurricane relief, housing, and of course, providing meals to those in need. The Rule 5 Draft is fast approaching so we get you all caught up on what it means and why it is important. We belatedly congratulate Caroline O’Connor, new president of business operations for the Marlins, and we learn the new vocabulary term, “glass cliff.” At the college level, Olivia Pichardo of Brown just became

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44:53

For Entertainment Purposes Only

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/11/22

So many awards, so many failed predictions. Pottymouth’s pre-season ROY pick of Julio Rodriquez was the exception, reminding us all that our observations are for entertainment purposes only. Patti thinks Brandon Hyde was robbed, just a little, but otherwise we can’t really complain about the winners. We review the hot stove vocabulary word “non-tender” and things teams and players cannot say about contracts and perceived value of free agents per the CBA. We cross-train with the shame of

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51:21

Festive and Caramelized

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/11/15

We catch you up on Platinum glove, Hank Aaron, and Player’s Choice awards, which is like watching the Golden Globes to prep for the Oscars. The GM meetings happened last week, weirdly during the “quiet period,” kicking off the official Hot Stove Season. We provide the annual qualifying offer vocabulary lesson, with offers tendered to 14 free agents. Scott Boras drives Pottymouth to defend high-end vegan restaurants and Patti to note that hamburger is in fact meat. We touch on how teams for

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41:22

Whatever, We Were Half Right

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/11/08

We’re happy for Dusty, Pottymouth is happy for JV, Patti is resigned to scrappy not prevailing in the end. Birthday girl Pottymouth finds a way to make the World Series about the Red Sox and it just feels right. It also leads to more quality analysis of “combined no-hitter” vs. “no-hitter,” and big credit to the catcher, in this case Christian Vazquez. Jeremy Peña is the MVP and the “it” boy of the moment but we just need to note that NCiB claimed him first. No surprise that Patti names

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48:09

Youthful Exuberance and School Nights

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/11/01

We make our World Series calls official. Pottymouth asserts Astros in five, with all the feels for the old guys (Dusty and Justin), and the promise of the youngsters (Mauricio Dubón and Jeremy Peña). Patti leans into the joyful and the scrappy of what FoxSports calls the “Greatest College Baseball Team of All Time,” Phillies in 6. Fun fact about our skill in boyfriend selection, all runs in Game 1 were driven in by NCiB BFs. Hey, don't go looking for conspiracy theories regarding Martín

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40:08

Blame it On The Rain

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/10/25

One solid prediction made by your hosts? We picked the Phils and the Padres as “fun to watch” before the season started and the NLCS has proved us right. Our postseason BFs include qHar-adjacent Brandon Marsh, once and maybe forever BF Juan Soto, Kyle “King Tuck” Tucker, and Machete Maldonado. Patti’s former bfs on the Phillies are embracing the chaos. Pottymouth’s former HOU bf Jeremy Peña makes an impression with his bat and that whole mom thing we love. All you folks complaining that the

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50:01

Your Effin’ Guy Has Earned My Effin’ Admiration

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/10/18

Junior Pottymouth and his hours-old Mariners cap sit in while Patti splits for the beach. Playoff ponderings include the rise of the underdogs, just how many non-baseball things you can do during an 18-inning game and still see most of it, and the lefty vegan pitching for the Hammers. Manny Machado not only being That Shirtless Guy but also learning phrases in Korean to encourage teammate Ha-seong Kim have almost won Pottymouth over. Wil Myers and his wife are already our people, buying

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60:25

Feeding our AL East Revenge Needs

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/10/11

Your BOS and BAL fan co-hosts relished the sweeps of AL East Wildcard teams, the crazy records for shortest game and longest scoreless game, SpongeBob walk-offs, shirtless cellies, multiple greatest comebacks of all time, shoes on heads, and Mets fans behaving predictably badly. Going forward to the next round we may see biblical plagues, all the Dusty, and none of the Chapman.Batting titles go to Jeff McNeil and Luis Arráez as do gifts from their teammates. Adley grades teammates qHar,

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41:51

Eye of the Beholder

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/10/04

We start off the last week of the regular season by setting up Wildcard Weekend, and looking to next year with Ohtani’s record deal and yet another return of Miggy. There was so much news about hair that we created a whole segment – Gunnar Henderson is Minor League Player of the Year, Harold Ramirez’s blue hair for autism awareness may inspire more postseason blue for the Rays, and cross-training with hockey introduces us to Buoy the Sea Troll, the new mascot of the Seattle Kraken, who

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51:11

Breaking Records is Fun

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/09/27

As the regular season winds down, milestones both personal and historic are in reach, and our baseball boyfriends are all over it. We ponder rooting for or against these achievements either as a spoiler or as a judge of moral character, player overreach trying to get there, and just how many catcher-brother pairs actually exist in professional baseball. Patti found a law enforcement career to get behind, and it is the MLB Authentication Program. Who knew it was all due to Tony Gwynn? And

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54:14

Enforce it, But Wink

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/09/20

The minor league union is official, the 21st Roberto Clemente Day is honored in style, and postseason prep has begun. We drink theme beer, learn all infields are not equal and get lost in Vinnie Pasquantino’s syllables. Bobby’s qHar gets some notice by people who are not us and Ke’Bryan learns about appropriate snack timing. Joey Meneses and his inside the park HR contribute to the return of Patti’s Happy Place. Adam Jones teaches us how to negotiate a contract (a plane ticket and beer!),

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50:33

Ban the Wave, Not the Shift

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/09/13

New rules are coming and we’ve got the details and so many opinions. The new minor league union is coming, and we’ve got details and entirely predictable opinions. Pottymouth cheers on Edmundo Sosa’s turnaround, an historic battery, and as always, Kiké. Patti’s bf Lars Nootbaar makes the police blotter a happy place, and Adley continues to make baseball a happy place. It’s time to vote for your choice of our past baseball boyfriends for the Roberto Clemente award. Someone please send

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56:32

Even the Mascot has Game Face

No Crying In Baseball ·

2022/09/06

Your 100% unionized (most of the time) podcast team breaks down the process in motion to authorize the MLBPA to collectively bargain on behalf of minor league players. It’s happening. Gunnar Henderson takes over the league lead in Quality Hair Above Replacement. Pottymouth explores the alternate career choices of Rafael Devers and Kike Hernandez. Paul Goldschmidt, Spencer Strider, and Aaron Judge are on tears that did not appear in our truly abysmal pre-season predictions. If you are

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