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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

23:40

Dracoraptor, the Draconic Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2023/01/17

(image source: http://bit.ly/3ZuaOcH) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Dracoraptor, the very first Jurassic dinosaur known and a survivor of the Triassic-Jurassic mass extinction, the one everyone seems to forget for some reason. It was a multiple impact event, people! Probably. From the Early Jurassic, this 3-foot coelophysid didn’t really have much going for it, and probably is some offshoot of Coelophysis that made it past the extinction. This is more of an excuse to

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22:10

Phorusrhacos, the Wrinkle Bearer

Paleo Bites ·

2023/01/10

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/312366924155667804/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Phorusrhacos, the last hurrah of giant land-based theropod dinosaurs as top predators, ruling well after non-avian dinosaurs went extinct. That’s not funny, just cool, but then again these descriptions aren’t really funny anyway. From the Early Miocene, this 9-foot-tall bird was part of a group colloquially known as “terror birds,” which makes all the sense in the world, as I’m

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22:11

Oviraptor, the Egg Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2023/01/03

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oviraptor) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Oviraptor, the most unfairly judged dinosaur found fossilized with a bunch of eggs and thus was assumed to be stealing those eggs rather than nurturing their own. There’s no way this thing could actually be a good mother, now could it? From the Late Cretaceous, this 5-foot maniraptoran theropod had a cassowary-like beak and roadrunner-like feathers, making it quite bird-like in many

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20:16

Hybodus, the Crooked Tooth

Paleo Bites ·

2022/12/27

(image source: https://walkingwith.fandom.com/wiki/Hybodus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Hybodus, a seemingly ordinary looking shark that might have actually had a temporal range of nearly 200 million years because, evolutionarily speaking, it was perfect. Sharks, man. From the Late Permian to the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot hybodont fish had little spikes adorning its dorsal fins as its distinguishing feature, which I guess made all the difference in the world. I

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20:58

Microraptor, the Tiny Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2022/12/20

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microraptor)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Microraptor, a beautiful ebony gem that went butterfly-mode and had four wings instead of two. Show-off. From the Early Cretaceous, this 2-foot dromaeosaurid might have been capable of true flight, but also might not have, which would be embarrassing. You went through all this effort to have four separate wings rather than the usual two and you still couldn’t fly?! What a waste of

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22:25

Carnotaurus, the Meat-Eating Bull

Paleo Bites ·

2022/12/13

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Carnotaurus-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Carnotaurus, a carnivore that heard all other dinosaurs end in ‘saurus’ so decided to change one letter to be distinctive. I respect the commitment to bare minimum effort. From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot abelisaurid theropod had two devilish horns and a grumpy personality, making it a big bully in the dino world. Honestly, if my arms were even shorter than T. rex’s, I

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20:17

Acrocanthosaurus, the High Spined Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2022/12/06

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Acrocanthosaurus-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Acrocanthosaurus, perhaps the biggest and meanest predator before the mighty rex ever took its first stomp. From the Early Cretaceous, this 38-foot carcharodontosaurid was roughly the size of T. rex, had the spine of Spinosaurus, and the overall body shape of a Giganotosaurus, making it the ultimate amalgamation of the bad guy dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park franchise,

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21:46

Platyhystrix, the Flat Porcupine

Paleo Bites ·

2022/11/29

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platyhystrix) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Platyhystrix, an amphibian with the head of a frog, the back of a newt, and the sail of a Dimetrodon just for giggles. From the Late Carboniferous, this 3-foot temnospondyl swiftly swam and slithered with its sail-lined spine sticking straight out of the surface of the swamp. I’m good with my alliterations sometimes, I reckon. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our

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22:01

Minmi, of the Minmi Crossing

Paleo Bites ·

2022/11/22

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minmi_paravertebra) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Minmi, a cutesy wittle turtledillo with a cutesy wittle name, one of the shortest names of all dinosaurs if Yi and Zby weren’t a thing. From the Early Cretaceous, this 9-foot ankylosaur nearly got rendered invalid due to insufficient evidence, but thankfully the world was kind enough to provide fossils of other ankylosaurs in its area to prove its distinctiveness as a

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26:01

Homo neanderthalensis, the Neanderthal

Paleo Bites ·

2022/11/15

(image source: http://bit.ly/3UqwgfD ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Homo neanderthalensis, the archetypal caveman and our bulkier, hairier, and dumber cousins, not unlike my bulkier and hairier and dumber cousins down in Mississippi. From the Late Pleistocene, this 5.5 foot tall hominid never really made it that far in the evolutionary sense, lasting less than a million years and going extinct when the Ice Age ended. It’s all right, Neanderthals, not every creature is

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36:33

Erectopus, the Upright Foot

Paleo Bites ·

2022/11/08

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Erectopus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Erectopus, perhaps the worst name of any dinosaur ever, or maybe the best if you're twelve years old. From the Early Cretaceous, this 16-foot long allosaurid has an interesting backstory in regards to the recovery of its fossils, including rich private collectors and shady fossil dealers. The paleontological black market is really cutthroat, folks, so watch out. Want to further

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38:13

Koshisaurus, the Lizard of the Koshi Region

Paleo Bites ·

2022/11/01

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Koshisaurus/Koshisaurus_NT_899f.jpg)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Matt David Seivert discuss Koshisaurus, a dinosaur with very little known about it so this episode is basically a sneaky preview episode of Seivert’s other podcast Nerds ‘R Us. From the Early Cretaceous, this 14-foot hadrosaurid lived in Japan and thus we’re perfectly justified in our discussions about Kamen Rider and other stuff, because if I covered only this creature it’d

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26:25

Brontomerus, the Thunder Thighs

Paleo Bites ·

2022/10/25

(image source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Brontomerus.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Brontomerus to round out Bronto Month, a real voluptuous dinosaur if the name is any indication, which dear God I hope it’s not as that would stir a lot of worrying things in me. From the Early Cretaceous, this 46-foot long camarasaurid sauropod could potentially gallop, climb mountains, and kick predatory dinosaurs like a horse based on its well-developed leg

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18:01

Brontotherium, the Thunder Beast

Paleo Bites ·

2022/10/18

(image source: https://bit.ly/3S8egF1) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-hosts the De Papier brothers from Matt’s other show The Writ Wit discuss Brontotherium, a creature almost certainly called Megacerops instead but we needed another genus for Bronto Month so we’ll use the outdated name. It’s not misinformation if we outright state its erroneousness! From the Late Eocene, this 16-foot perissodactyl roamed the American scrublands and rammed each other with their horns as fossil evidence seems to

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27:42

Brontosaurus, the Thunder Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2022/10/11

(image source: https://www.activewild.com/brontosaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Brontosaurus, a real dinosaur of a dinosaur that wasn’t valid for a while until suddenly it was, kind of like the inverse of Pluto. From the Late Jurassic, this 70-foot diplodocid sauropod was a bit chunkier than Apatosaurus with a slightly thicker neck, but otherwise it was basically the same animal at the same time and place. And yet Dracorex and Stygimoloch are considered young

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29:59

Brontoscorpio, the Thunder Scorpion

Paleo Bites ·

2022/10/04

(image source: https://fossil.fandom.com/wiki/Brontoscorpio) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Brontoscorpio, a big fat nope of a creature and the first of our Paleo Bites Bronto Month! From the Early Devonian, this 3-foot arachnid was one of the earliest creatures to make its way onto land, ahead of the lobe-finned fish by several tens of millions of years. Sheesh, if these things were already up there, it makes the fish crawling onto land seem even stupider. Just stay

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16:06

Australotitan, the Southern Titan

Paleo Bites ·

2022/09/27

(image source: https://bbc.in/3Rc0j8G) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Australotitan, the biggest Australian land animal of all time that probably had venomous tail spines or exploding scales if modern Australian fauna is any indication. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 95-foot titanosaur lived alongside other local dinosaurs like Australovenator, Austroraptor, and Australopithecus… seems to be a real naming theme going on here. And for those about to message me that

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28:03

Tiktaalik, the Large Freshwater Fish

Paleo Bites ·

2022/09/20

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiktaalik by Zina Deretsky) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Tiktaalik, a real asshole that should have known what horrible things crawling onto land would eventually lead to for the world. From the Late Devonian, this 8-foot sarcopterygian has been the subject of many memes using this very image about how it’s personally responsible for all of human suffering, which in all honesty might just be a tad harsh. Wait, rent is

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32:49

Meraxes, the Great Dragon

Paleo Bites ·

2022/09/13

(image source: https://bit.ly/3RFXJbQ) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Meraxes, a dinosaur named after a dragon in A Song of Ice and Fire that lived about as long ago as George R. R. Martin released his last book. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 45-foot carcharodontosaurid theropod was merely one of a plethora of giant meat-eating dinosaurs in this time and place, although they probably didn’t live all at once, that’d be ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as Game of Thrones

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25:15

Koolasuchus, the Crocodile of Lesley Kool

Paleo Bites ·

2022/09/06

(image source: https://walkingwith.fandom.com/wiki/Koolasuchus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Koolasuchus, a giant amphibian from far later than when giant amphibians were cool, kind of like people today with mohawks or rollerblades. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 16-foot temnospondyl hung out in polar waters too cold for the crocodiles throughout the rest of the world, making it a Cool Crocodile, if you will. That’s where it got its name, surely. I’m sure Lesley Kool is

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