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PODCAST

The Fifth Column

Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch

Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition. www.wethefifth.com

news & politics

All Episodes

16:16

Members Only #196 - You Make a Lotta Money

The Fifth Column ·

2024/01/19

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.comIn a rebroadcast of our latest Second Sunday, Tina Nguyen joins the lads again to discuss Substack, Andrew Yang, Kmele fighting another podcast host, James Bond, Tucker Carlson, Vietnamese immigrants, militias, and…the great Tom Vu. In case you’re unfamiliar with America’s greatest Vietnamese import, some of his greatest hits.

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99:20

#438 - Guns & Flip Flops (w/ Tina Nguyen)

The Fifth Column ·

2024/01/16

* The year of the ladies* They’re pro-Houthi* They’re Weebs * The MAGA Diaries * The diaspora politics of the Vietnamese* MAGA Straussianism * Tina and Tucker* Tina and the militias* Kmele and the Houthis* It’s always World War Three* Just say they went too far…* NYT on Russia bombing hospitals * Some Iowa thoughts* Some brief thoughts on the fake Substack Nazi controversy This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

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12:50

Members Only #195 - No Limit Consultants LLC

The Fifth Column ·

2024/01/09

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Matt, swallowed by Los Alamos* Jon Ronson’s new pod* A terrible trailer, a pretentious movie* Ringo Seal!!! Trump is “being persecuted”* Head injuries that help* Listen to that podcast, even if it’s terrible* A hot plagiarist* Substack and Nazis* Chomsky and Jeffery* Kmele’s new favorite football player* And so much more!

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103:54

#437 - Gay Divorce

The Fifth Column ·

2024/01/04

Should we even bother with the normal bullet points? Because it’s mostly about Claudine Gay. And the media’s embarrassing reaction to Gay’s “duplicative phrasing” and “attribution issues.” And what this says about the rot in academia. And something about a Disney Plus show. And ladies who live in trees. And how Kmele’s ice has to be colder than Welch’s ice. And a generation of dumb intellectuals. Enjoy. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to

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14:11

Members Only #194 - 2023 Was an Inside Job

The Fifth Column ·

2023/12/29

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* The last one of the year * The French public sector * Macron and the menorah * Exploding appliances * Nick & Kanye* Nikki’s slavery gaffe * But does she have a shot?* Billionaires on the “billionaire class”* Don’t forget about RFK* Who blew up the pipeline?* Why we believe what we believe* Vivek’s “inside job”

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67:00

Members Only #193 – ‘I Don’t Think Anyone in Israel...

The Fifth Column ·

2023/12/24

* I resign!* (“That was a great apartment….”)* I resign!* (“That was the worst job….”)* Mansplaining the war* Too big to process* It’s like 9/11 for Americans, and also not* “You can still smell the death”* The Jericho Wall revelations* “I’m pretty sure most people who were responsible will resign”* Were judicial protests a distraction?* State fails, society rallies* A time for Diaspora choosing* Like moths to crazy* Intelligence scandal, leadership scandal* Hard out here for a two-state

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84:30

#436 - From Gavin to Gotham

The Fifth Column ·

2023/12/21

* Can Kmele sing?* A guy is surrounded by some racists* In praise of…Alec Baldwin?* Protesters are like racists* Trump and Colorado* Smart people who have come to some strange conclusions on this…* He’s screwing with you. You know that right?* They think you don’t understand policy * Not a lot of loyalty….(plus: a paean to Hope Hicks)* One word: NEW YORK* From Jihad to Lego * A silly list of “media influencers”* Is Emmanuel Lewis alive? (Yes) This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this

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14:14

Members Only #192 - Second Sunday Replay (12/10)

The Fifth Column ·

2023/12/17

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* It wasn’t a debate * Moynihan loves islands. Who doesn’t?* University stuff* “Late capitalism”* Walt Disney wasn’t a Nazi * Backfilling history* Massaging numbers* On the Qataris….* And a bunch of listeners chime in!

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105:05

#435 - TFC's Holiday Racism Spectacular!

The Fifth Column ·

2023/12/15

* Ron Karenga * Handel’s Messiah and stock portfolio * Musicology is dumb, says Matt* Hip-hop is appropriation and it’s great * Method Man thinks the Stones and Bootsy are the same* The Fall of Minneapolis * The Fifth’s verdict * Some good things, some bad things * Revisiting the Chauvin trial* An 800,000 word reflection from James Bennet * Fanaticism and forgivenness * How is this plagiarist surviving?* How about firing these dopes* LP and AJ * The many, many, many dead in Ukraine This is a public

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115:57

#434 - Crazed Conspiracies, Moral Mulligans, and...

The Fifth Column ·

2023/12/07

* The editorial board of the Washington Post * What what wrong with the cease fire * On culpability* Can there *be* a negotiated settlement?* Is it really “the occupation”? * That wild 2022 video from Jenin that Moynihan mentioned* You’re going to be defrocked* Being handcuffed by “the Nahkba”* The insane rape conspiracy theories—and why they exist* Are all these people pro-Hamas?* Mrs. Gay Goes to Washington* Choose different words, dummies* Are you allowed a moral mulligan?* The Calvin Principals*

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100:17

#433 - The Body of a (German) American

The Fifth Column ·

2023/12/02

* We ain’t gonna play Sun City* RIP Shane* George Santos: genius* Gavin v. Ron* Why would you do this, Gavin?* This awful presidential race * Hating WFB* Be friends with and “platform” your political opposites* RIP Kissinger?* Dictatorships and double standards * The forever war with Iran* An awful, awful hostage video * On hostages and peace partners * The future of Gaza This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

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16:39

Members Only #191 - Can We Be Trusted? (Ummm...)

The Fifth Column ·

2023/11/29

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* A shooting in the hood* The Oakland Politburo speaks. The world is appalled.* The free speech issue vs. the university infection * Knowing nothing but propaganda* Gaza Facebook is pretty wild* Sir Humphrey says: “This is the most insane answer ever”* What Epstein got right. And you gotta bring Bill Clinton* A weird story about Hillary’s shushing * UFO nonsense* What’s th…

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106:31

#432 - Worse Than Hitler (A Fifth Column Thanksgiving!)

The Fifth Column ·

2023/11/23

Family beckons. Booze beckons. So we’re going to forgo the bullet points that we’re pretty sure you don’t read anyway and just say…Happy Thanksgiving, from your friends at the Fifth! And while you shamelessly celebrate genocide, listen along while the lads bemoan the racism of the Black Plague; the deadline to file charges against Kmele; the quote-invention of ChatGPT; the hostage deal in Israel; and the extreme awfulness of Holocaust historians Joe Scarborough, Mike Brzezinski, and Claire

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30:07

Members Only #190 - Tantric Drummers for Freedom

The Fifth Column ·

2023/11/22

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Javier Milei, tantric drummer* The hideousness of modern Peronism * A brief digression on Aerosmith* So how did we all meet?* Start fighting, Moynihan* Another digression on Sam Altman’s awfulness (two examples now available at Moynihan’s Instagram)* When Israel decided against killing the entire leadership of Hamas* Well, they tried anyway * Fiction that changed our lives * I don’t want to read about who I am and

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103:49

#430 - The TikTok Jihad w/ Mary Katharine Ham

The Fifth Column ·

2023/11/18

* Live from Oakland* Sex strikes * Loving OBL * Stop deconstructing stuff * Seeing your friends spinout online…* They’re not sending anyone anywhere * Drunk Kathy Hochul and her bad, drunk ideas* Not drunk Nikki Haley and her bad ideas* Hate speech isn’t a thing in America* Israel and propaganda * MKH on evangelicals, Israel, and the supposed “left behind” vision of Zionism* TikTok you don’t stop * And so much more! This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or

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27:32

Members Only #189 - "Thank You for the A-Bomb"...

The Fifth Column ·

2023/11/16

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* “She’s reasonable in person” (🤔)* In praise of…Estonia* Are any expressly political comedians funny?* Meetings interrupted by death * Listener question: On the 1619 Project * Indonesian guys loves America, nuclear weapons* Family friends with Carlos the Jackal* Israel asks: “Kmele, what should we do?”* Stars and Bucks (Correction: Bethlehem not Ramallah)* Why not get a…

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73:54

#429 - The Kevin Hart Resource Curse

The Fifth Column ·

2023/11/12

* One hell of a night, one brutal morning* Kevin Hart kills* Judy Gold and college comedy* The Washington Post says sorry for being mean to Hamas* Be brave, get fired?* There’s been a bunch of recent Islamist attacks in the West, actually* New York City’s hate crimes leader board* The pointless Republican debate* Vivek is the worst (and also was kinda good for three seconds)* Reaganism without Reagan (and Bannon’s Reagan film)* Only in New York, kids* Trust the kids, kids* Teaching about vs

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30:15

Members Only #188 - Shine on You Crazy 'Anti-Zionist'

The Fifth Column ·

2023/11/08

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Voting for New York judges (and do you have a spare apartment?)* An unsolicited application* Liz Warren warns about the surge of….* Is violent anti-Semitism in the U.S. a real threat?* Explain the progressive-Islamist alliance please…* He has become comfortably dumb* No, it’s not really fishy* Defining war, war crimes, and civilians * The government’s stupid war on (pr…

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109:05

#428 - Poundtowns and Political Pilgrims

The Fifth Column ·

2023/11/02

* Happy birthday Kmele* The girls of the IDF * The lads take a wrong turn, end up in “Poundtown”* In fairness, we didn’t know he did a whole segment on this * So Mike Pence dropped out?* That’s some good polling for Bobby Jr. * When innocents die* Nat Turner’s bloody rebellion * Human shields and asymmetry* Kill ‘em all, says Rep. Brian Mast* Political pilgrims for Hamas* Sorry but nothing after 1917, Matt* And much, much more! This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other

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25:46

Members Only #187 - A Break from the Grimness w/...

The Fifth Column ·

2023/10/31

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.comAlong with fellow comedian Ryan Long, Danny Polishchuk is one half of the very funny Boyscast podcast (a favorite of Fifth Column listeners, we are reliably told). Again alongside Ryan Long, Danny is the woke guy in the “When Wokes and Racists Actually Agree on Everything” video.” And there’s lots of great solo stuff over at his YouTube channel. Danny s…

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