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The Kink Perspective

The Kink Perspective

The Kink Perspective looks at BDSM through psychology, not performance. It’s an honest examination of power, connection, and what really shapes relationships inside kink, without romanticizing dysfunction or avoiding hard truths. Hosted by Chris, trauma-specific consultant and psychotherapist with more than two decades of lifestyle experience. Donate Here Sponsorship inquiries: Thekinkperspective@gmail.com

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All Episodes

00:25:15

Season 2 Episode 17 - BDSM and Kink Politics...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/04/25

On this episode, I discussed the internalized drama that can arise within kink communities due to power dynamics, such as jealousy, competition, and conflicts. I explore how open and honest communication, clear community standards, and education can help address these issues and create a safe and inclusive environment. We also highlighted the importance of creating a culture of mutual respect and consent within kink communities. The importance of creating a culture of mutual respect and consent to

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00:22:00

Season 2 Episode 16 - BDSM and Praise Kink

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/04/18

On this episode, I explore the concept of the praise kink, a sexual preference that involves a desire for verbal validation and approval from a sexual partner. Throughout the episode, I delve into the origins and effects of the praise kink, including the positive psychological and physiological effects of praise on individuals. I also discuss the importance of enthusiastic and explicit consent in sexual activities, and how individuals can better understand and explore their own sexual desires and

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00:27:10

Season 2 Episode 15 - BDSM and Introversion -...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/04/11

On this episode, I explore the topic of introversion and extroversion in BDSM. I defined what it means to be introverted or extroverted, and discussed how these traits can affect an individual's experience in the BDSM community. I talk about how BDSM can be both an extroverted and introverted activity, and the importance of setting boundaries and communicating effectively regardless of your personality type. Finally, I discussed the importance of finding a supportive and inclusive BDSM community

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00:57:45

Season 2 Episode 14 - BDSM and Needle Play discussion...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/04/03

On this episode, I sit down and have a candid conversation with Ms_Kitten_ on the subject of Needle play. A kink educator in South Africa, that has years of experience educating and exploring the world of kink. Due to some of the graphic nature of this discussion, please be advised we do discuss some sensitive subject matter on this episode. We dive into the aspects of needle play, the process Ms_Kitten_ goes through before a session, preparation for a scene and so much more... If you are looking

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00:31:10

Season 2 Episode 13 - BDSM and Shame, Secrets and...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/03/28

In this episode, I will explore the psychological impact of digital intrusion and blackmail on individuals who engage in BDSM. Due to the sensitive and potentially triggering nature of this topic, I will be discussing self-harm and suicide. I discuss how the exposure of one's private life and secrets can lead to feelings of shame, humiliation, and loss of control, as well as the potential for coercion and even thoughts of suicide. I highlight the importance of protecting our private information

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00:33:55

Season 2 Episode 12 - BDSM and Attachment Styles...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/03/21

On this episode, I explore the fascinating topic of attachment styles in kink relationships. I go over the main attachment styles and how they can impact kink dynamics, and discuss the challenges and opportunities of exploring kink with different attachment styles. I discuss how to navigate attachment-related challenges in kink relationships, emphasizing the importance of communication, trust, effort and empathy, and more... If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the

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00:30:45

Season 2 Episode 11 - BDSM and Dynamic Political...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/03/13

On this episode, I discuss what happens when you find out the person you are in a BDSM dynamic with, does not have the same political beliefs as you do. With such contentious times surrounding this topic, I discuss ways to navigate this issue. To not let it be the hill to die on, and work through those differences even from across the aisle and more... If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through

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00:37:45

Season 2 Episode 10 - BDSM and When a Dynamic Ends...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/03/09

On this episode, I continue the discussion on loss. What do we do and how our roles change if our partner has a terminal illness or passes away suddenly. These are not easy conversations to navigate, but I argue necessary ones. I talk about some of the things we encounter, how we cope with the process and preserving memories along the way, and so much more. If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out

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00:27:37

Season 2 Episode 9 - BDSM and When a Dynamic Ends...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/03/07

On this episode, I have begun the discussion of what we do on an emotional level, when a dynamic ends. This is quite a large discussion, and I am going to break this up in up into at least 2 episodes, with the second part focusing on when a partner passes away. These are sensitive subjects with deep emotional ramifications. If you have discussed or worked this into your dynamic, please let me know in the comments. I want to thank LunaLux and Brooke_ish for spurring this discussion. If you are

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00:24:22

Season 2 Episode 8 - BDSM and Aftercare for Dominants...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/02/28

On this episode, I discuss the subject of aftercare for Dominants. When we think about aftercare, what normally springs to mind is Dominants caring for, nurturing their submissives after a scene or play session. What about Dominants though? I discuss what we need to be on the look out for, some things we can do to conduct aftercare if you are a submissive for your Dominant and much more... If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general,

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00:32:15

Season 2 Episode 7 - BDSM and Kink Educators...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/02/21

On this episode, I discuss the dilemma with the self-professed Kink Educators within the community, the stories that are becoming more prevalent about abuse of power, manipulation and emotional and physical abuse, and talk about the subjectivity of BDSM. I also suggest new terminology we could consider when looking at "Kink Educators," and more... If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my

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00:25:24

Season 2 Episode 6 - BDSM and Kinky People Killing...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/02/14

On this episode, I discuss the vanilla influx of people that have swarmed the scene over the last two decades. The effects it has had on newcomers into the community as they mask who they are with a stolen lexicon of terminology and creating issues in the local scene. Conversely, I also discuss the response by BDSM practitioners offering helpful suggestions that are shut down for trying to help with the pejorative of, "There is not true way," yet discarding the rules, competency and respect the rest

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00:40:00

Season 2 Episode 5 - BDSM and Disposable...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/02/07

On this episode, I discuss the current relationship climate newer generations have found themselves in, the Disposable one. I talk about what led us here, my thoughts about how this may go in the future. I discuss the signs to look out for, to discover if you are involved in a disposable relationship. I discuss ways you avoid your relationship from becoming one, and so much more. If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel

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00:23:46

Season 2 Episode 4 - BDSM and Auralism...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/01/31

On this episode, I talk about Auralism. It is being sexually aroused by sound. That sound can differ from person to person, from crumpling paper to the sounds of passion, many of us are affected by sounds. Some people, are sexually aroused by non-erotic sounds. I discuss different ways we can explore and enhance this fetish, and even if you are not within the realm of the BDSM or Fetish community, this is something you can explore to enhance your relationships. I discuss some of the places you can

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00:27:25

Season 2 Episode 3 - BDSM and When the Spark Fades...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/01/24

On this episode, I talk about the signs that our relationship dynamics are beginning to fade. Those subtle tells that let us know that we are not evolving along the same path anymore. How to identify, talk about and resolve these issues before they lead to more problems. While we all hit those marks of time with our partner, keeping that romantic and emotional intimacy moving forward is crucial to keep a healthy balance for your dynamic. I discuss recognizing the signs of when we drift apart and so

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00:38:28

Season 2 - Episode 2 - BDSM and Consent Violations...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/01/17

On this episode, I discuss consent violations. What they are, how we perceive them and their effects on the community. It is an important topic that we have to be aware of and discuss, to keep a healthy dialogue going on, as to further evolve how we address when a consent violation happens. It is not an easy subject, but it is a necessary one for the community. If you are looking for a lifestyle therapist or just want to talk with someone, please feel free to contact me through my website at

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00:42:40

Season 2 - Episode 1 - BDSM and Open Marriages...

The Kink Perspective ·

2023/01/10

On this episode, I look beyond the shiny Veneer of open marriages and how happy they want everyone to believe they are. I look at all of the issues that people in an open marriage face, the mental health ramifications of them, financial strain, priorities, and more. I am not here to bash on what works for a small percentage of people, more so, to discuss the things that people do not consider or think about when entertaining this idea. Finally, the biggest question, what do you do when your needs

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00:28:10

Episode 45 - Onward to 2023!

The Kink Perspective ·

2022/12/28

On this episode, I had a chance to reflect on many of the things I have talked about, the few people I have had wonderful conversations with, and things I have learned by doing this podcast over this past year. I talk about some questions that I have been asked and what is coming up next. I want this to remain informative and fun. A place that those in the community benefit from and learn about new things they have never considered. It was a good time to reflect and tell you what is next and much

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00:47:30

Episode 44 - Lactation discussion with Brooke_ish

The Kink Perspective ·

2022/12/20

On this episode, I had the opportunity to sit down with Brooke_ish and discuss the fetish of Lactation. This was an insight into a kink that is far more intimate, effort driven, and bonding, than I first realized. We discussed the process of induction, the commitment to maintaining this and so much more. This was such an enlightening conversation and glad I had the opportunity to learn more. If you are looking for a lifestyle or trauma counselor, please feel to contact me through my website,

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00:27:45

Episode 43 - BDSM and Empowerment vs Disempowerment...

The Kink Perspective ·

2022/12/13

On this episode, I talk about feeling empowered versus feeling disempowered. What these terms even mean. How are sexual identities in a social media age can lead to feelings empowerment online. To the pitfalls of exposing our inner sexual desires online and dealing with negative reactions which lead to a disempowerment. What we experience once we are connected to someone else and so much more on this episode... If you are looking for a lifestyle therapist or just need to talk, please contact me

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