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PODCAST

Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn"t think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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All Episodes

46:17

The Adjudication Panel: Midfield "quarterbacks" &...

Football Cliches ·

2024/02/13

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: The precise moment we allow ourselves to tell a goalbound free kick to "go on", a soap opera commanders a Premier League cultural cornerstone, Sean Dyche tackles his latest "trendy" scourge of modern football, an unexpected manager in a Siouxsie & The Banshees track and Montell Jordan sings about 1990s English right-backs. Meanwhile, the panel pinpoint the rise and fall of the "quarterback"

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48:47

Les Dennis, paintbrush volleys & the Quiz Question XI

Football Cliches ·

2024/02/08

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Les Dennis questions “the woodwork”, a never-before-heard alternative to "meat and drink", a prescient 2016 interview by Harry Redknapp, some unexpected footballer names in Murder, She Wrote and the concept of the "paintbrush volley". Meanwhile, the panel pick Robert Earnshaw as their captain in a lineup of truly trivial players in the Pure Quiz Question XI. Learn more about your ad choices

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43:40

The Adjudication Panel: Horror shows, title blows and...

Football Cliches ·

2024/02/06

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the parameters for a goalkeeping "horror show", Turkish footballer names in Scandinavian crime dramas, the rigid language of Chelsea home defeats, the charmingly basic logic of England's pre-Euros warm-up opponents and, inevitably, Richard Keys on Arsenal's post-match celebrations. Meanwhile, the panel examine just what makes a manager "wily" (apart from being Scottish) and decide when it's

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56:09

Ref sandwiches, "teapot finishes" & the Premier...

Football Cliches ·

2024/02/01

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Chris Wilder's curious refereeing complaint, an uncertain start to Mark Clattenburg's Gladiators role, an unexpected commentator's name on Silent Witness, and Tony Gale gives us the most baffling description of an effort on goal we've ever heard. Meanwhile, the panel select one of their most delicately-balanced XIs so far: a lineup of players who represent the truest mid-point of Premier

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46:13

The Adjudication Panel: FA Cup illusions & Andy...

Football Cliches ·

2024/01/30

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a fascinating audio illusion from West Brom vs Wolves, Ally McCoist & Andy Townsend's analysis of an Animal XI, commentator Jonathan Pearce ruins a French child's birthday, a niche but fundamental error of judgment in Michael Carrick’s autobiography and English football stadiums that sound like people. Meanwhile, the panel try to envisage "the most FA Cup type of goal" and decide whether "the

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49:16

The Adjudication Panel: The Lampardian Transition,...

Football Cliches ·

2024/01/25

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Frank Lampard finally acknowledging his niche habit, some textbook crowd scenes at the snooker, the commentary hero of AFCON 2024 so far, a long-overdue appreciation of the yellow footballs used for indoor 5-a-side and Charlie produces a revelation in For My Sins Corner. Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the the logic of people who hate football and identify the most "you’d run through a

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44:34

The Adjudication Panel: Footholds, foreign...

Football Cliches ·

2024/01/23

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: The criteria for a club looking to "kick on from here", a Canadian take on the cold, wet Tuesday night in Stoke, a Man Utd midfielder popping up in a death metal track, goalkeepers being "beaten all ends up" and Alan Pardew takes on Richard Keys. Meanwhile, the panel debate the criteria for a team being called "toothless", a side getting a "foothold" in a match and how many players from one

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60:52

The 'How Did [Player X] Never Play for [Club Y]?' XI

Football Cliches ·

2024/01/18

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Jack Pitt-Brooke for a special January transfer window project: selecting a lineup of players who somehow never turned out for particular clubs. The selection panel throw around thoughts such as which Old Firm club would have signed Mark Bosnich, just what it is about Younes Kaboul that suits QPR so much, how is it possible that Wayne Routledge spent ten years at Swansea, Peter Crouch: pure Fulham and much, much more. Meanwhile, the

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54:34

The Adjudication Panel: The most Premier League...

Football Cliches ·

2024/01/16

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some glorious urging-to-shoot from Watford's away fans, Seamus Coleman and the most loyal 3.67 seconds in football history, a commentator's unexpected darts digression, football words that "get bandied about a lot" and an unacceptably emphatic announcement of added-on time. Meanwhile, the panel envisage the exact opposite of a "striker's goal" and decide the most surprising fixture the

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48:18

A superb footballer name, defenders shooting from 30...

Football Cliches ·

2024/01/11

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' January entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are assistant referees refusing to touch the ball at any point, the geographical hierarchy of English football, tiny ways of keeping yourself amused during televised games you don’t really care about, the "anti-urging" of a centre-back to shoot from 30 yards, journalists tweeting goal

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45:04

The Adjudication Panel: The longest 3.85 seconds in...

Football Cliches ·

2024/01/09

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some ski-jumping commentary, fundamental football words we never knew had been cancelled, the minimum requirement for an FA Cup "journey" and the longest ever delay between a goal being scored and the away fans celebrating at the other end. Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the "It's just like watching Brazil" threshold, decide which stadium PA announcement would get the least response from a

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44:36

The Adjudication Panel: Washing machines that sound...

Football Cliches ·

2024/01/04

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller on the first Adjudication Panel of 2024. The agenda includes: Matt Upson co-commentating on the rain, home appliances that sound like football things, barrel-scraping content in elite players' autobiographies, a long-overdue confession from Roque Santa Cruz and Richard Keys' Erik ten Hag impression. Meanwhile, the panel decide what sort of shot constitutes a "piledriver" and whether a chance can be "tucked wide”. Learn more about your ad

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47:44

The Football Cliches Quiz IX

Football Cliches ·

2023/12/26

The Football Clichés Quiz returns for its ninth edition, and after years of standing on the sidelines it's finally the turn of David Walker to step up to the plate and take on defending champion Adam Hurrey, with past-winner Charlie Eccleshare once again assuming the role of quizmaster. Walker and Hurrey battle it out over another five rounds of niche footballing knowledge, including Stuart Pearce's favourite areas of outstanding natural beauty, who Richard Keys likes to talk to about his blog in

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52:35

The Adjudication Panel: Are we all truly ready for a...

Football Cliches ·

2023/12/21

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the final Adjudication Panel of 2023. The agenda includes: the football-as-chess-match analogy going too far, which club are most strongly associated with "languishing", if the current Championship table is the most Championship-looking in recent memory and a concerning new colloquialism among the refereeing family. Meanwhile, the panel ponder how we will consume a 32-team, month-long Club World Cup. Learn more about your ad choices

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47:58

The Adjudication Panel: Glovesmiths and parking the...

Football Cliches ·

2023/12/19

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a tenuous talking point from Liverpool 0-0 Man Utd, Brazilian commentators fascinated by the East Anglian derby, an unprecedented new alternative word for "goalkeeper", a former Premier League defender’s name buried in Turkish psychedelic folk and a bumper edition of Keys & Gray Corner. Meanwhile, the panel ponder an unexpected football reference in a sombre World War II podcast and

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49:15

Centre-backs on the wing & "comunicado oficial"

Football Cliches ·

2023/12/14

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field this month's listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are foreign vocabulary you absorb through football, the debatable thrill of a 50-50 challenge between players with the same shirt number, lumbering centre-backs who suddenly find themselves out on the wing, the unwritten laws of a referee playing advantage and teams

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46:34

The Adjudication Panel: "The Mesut Ozil of public...

Football Cliches ·

2023/12/12

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Sean Dyche's multi-platform campaign against inauthentic goal celebrations, some truly wholesome commentary from the BBC's Jonathan Pearce, "the Mesut Ozil of public transportation", an 8/10 footballer's name in something, a tremendous Premier League Years-related story and the most sensual post-match interviewer of all time. Meanwhile, the panel weigh up an intriguing "ketchup bottle"

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57:26

Copycat knee-sliders & kicking balls into skips:...

Football Cliches ·

2023/12/07

The pod welcomes comedian Chloe Petts for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as she chooses her six most niche fascinations and irritations of football. Among Chloe's selections are the precarious vocal range of solo football chanters, the rise of copycat goal celebrations, members of the public kicking balls into thing for half-time on-pitch entertainment, the indignity of the unused-sub warm-down, the lack of true toxicity in the WSL and forecasting where managerial touchline fashion

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53:06

The Adjudication Panel: "He hit it where Grandma...

Football Cliches ·

2023/12/05

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the 'goalscoring formality' commentator intonation, the best off-pitch storming the Premier League has ever seen, Gary Neville's audio cameo in Squid Game: The Challenge, a new Italian contender to describe the top corner and Richard Keys lays out the future for Manchester United. Meanwhile, the panel debate what it means for a team to "come unstuck", choose the most Euros-y Euro 2024

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45:37

The Adjudication Panel: Can a goalkeeper be a wonderkid?

Football Cliches ·

2023/11/30

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: an inevitable Championship chant, the final reckoning for Harry Redknapp's car window, the first name on the teamsheet for a PGMOL Fast-Tracked Ex-Player Referees XI and a new low for football in films. Meanwhile, Charlie and David go head-to-head once again in Premier League goalscoring quiz Happy Hunting Grounds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

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