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PODCAST

Coming Out Pod

Coming Out Pod is a weekly podcast hosted by Lauren Flans where queer folks from all walks of life tell the tales of how they came out to friends, family, and the world at large! Because who doesn"t love a coming out story?

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

70:46

Episode 126: Elliott Feliciano

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/12/09

We brought on an Elliott to talk about an Elliot! For quite a while, Puerto Rican writer/director Elliott Feliciano (OutFest's "To Be With You") only saw examples of trans women in media - and the few trans men he did see were all white. It wasn't until he came across model Laith Ashley that he first felt he saw himself. Elliott talks transitioning at thirty-five, and why he uses both "he" and "they" pronouns. Also, we dig into Elliot Page's epic announcement - the joy *and* the controversy, oh

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69:27

Episode 125: Haviland Stillwell

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/12/02

Actor/singer/producer Haviland Stillwell (BIFL) is on the femme-presenting side of the spectrum, so she is *very* familiar with the concept of "you never stop coming out" (pro-tip: having a wife helps). As a gay actress who is almost always cast as straight, we thought she'd be the perfect guest to discuss the current hot topic of "authenticity" in the casting of queer roles. Haviland talks being perceived as "not gay enough" - especially by queer filmmakers - and, yes; we GET INTO IT over Happiest

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73:08

Episode 124: Triggers

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/11/25

Well, Lauren had another tweet go viral and made a ton of people angry again! But on the upside, it brought up something we've wanted to discuss for a while: triggers. Episode 11 guest (and Nicole's girlfriend) Mandahla Rose comes back to talk about navigating trauma that occurred while she was in foster care. She discusses learning to have agency over daily triggers, and we talk about the prevalence of LGBTQ trauma, and offer resources for healing.(TW: sexual abuse)Follow Mandahla at

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60:04

Episode 123: Dani Fernandez

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/11/18

Writer, actress, host, and Twitter darling Dani Fernandez joins us on the pod for an amazing crash-course in self-love! Dani (who identifies as bi and Chicana) developed curves early, and was teased and shamed for...you know, having a body. She shares how she learned to love the way she looks, and how sexy photoshoots have allowed her to reclaim her own body. Also: the scam the patriarchy has pulled on bisexuality! Salma Hayek! And why we all need to be posting WAY more thirst

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66:47

Episode 122: Melissa Weisz

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/11/11

We welcome actor Melissa Weisz, the other half of The Forbidden Apple Podcast and our first ever (former) Hasidic Jew! At nineteen, Melissa was engaged to a man in an arranged marriage...yet in a surprise twist, it was *not* her burgeoning queerness that eventually led to the end of that relationship. Melissa shares how being raised in such a confining religion resulted in a fear of joining other communities (including the queer community); we learn about Jewish "family purity laws," and SO much

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46:45

LIVE Election Special!

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/11/05

We went live on Instagram the morning after the election to talk to each other and all of you about what the hell is happening!!! We discuss the still-very-much-in-process results, offer ideas for how to keep from going crazy in the days (weeks?!) to follow, and talk the merits and drawbacks of trying to engage in compassionate conversation with people across the aisle. IT'S AMERICA'S COMING OUT, Y'ALL!Mentioned in this ep:lalgbtcenter.org/culture-education/community-groupscomingoutpod.com/media

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75:17

Episode 121: Ruby Farley

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/10/28

We got another young 'un! 18-year-old Ruby Farley hasn't ever really come out in the traditional sense, but identifies as queer because "that's the closest word I can find." She talks about being raised in a home that was very open about sex and sexuality, and shares how childhood trauma ultimately gave her an enormous capacity for empathy. We also discuss the ways in which social media has failed us in terms of communication, and what it's like watching from the outside as your sibling

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64:34

Episode 120: Pelayo Alvarez

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/10/21

We're back with the absolutely wonderful Pelayo Alvarez of The Forbidden Apple, a podcast that explores the relationship between queer people and spirituality. Spanish-born and Catholic-raised Pelayo (who recently came out to his entire family over Zoom!) discusses reclaiming the idea of being "shameless," and the complexities of being out when you work in international relations. Also, the eminent wisdom of Keke Palmer!YouTube: youtube.com/pelayoafIG: @theforbiddenapplepodcastTwitter: @TFA_POD

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22:15

Happy National Coming Out Day!

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/10/11

In a special mini-episode, we share the origins of the phrase "coming out" (spoiler alert: it's super-gay), make some exciting announcements, and hear a message of encouragement from a much beloved former guest! HAPPY NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY, Y'ALL!And check out:comingoutpod.com/mediafreedhearts.orgkarenpacent.comquibi.com/shows/sexology-with-shan-593/"We Have Jobs We Swear" on Spotify and Apple Podcasts

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100:08

Episode 119: Violet Gray...and J.K. Rowling

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/10/07

At long last, we're talking All Things J.K. Rowling, and we've brought on the *perfect* guest to help us wade through this IMMENSE topic. Comedian Violet Gray identifies as gender-variant, and had to come out not only in the stand-up scene, but also the librarian scene and the Ren Faire scene! We discuss where we think Rowling's views stem from, why and how she was able to essentially be radicalized online, and MUCH more. It's an incredibly nuanced conversation, and we can't wait to hear what you

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68:38

Episode 118: The Poly Episode, Part 2!

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/09/30

In Part 2 of our epic polyamory episode, Gustav (Nicole's husband) and Mandahla (Nicole's girlfriend) talk about the evolution of the "trinity" they've created with Nicole! Gustav discusses why he was open (pun intended) to a poly relationship, even though he'd previously only known monogamy. Conversely, Mandahla shares why she was resistant...yet kept coming back around to Nicole and this particular poly relationship. It's a super-honest talk about the ups and downs of love, jealousy, and

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59:18

Episode 117: The Poly Episode, Part 1!

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/09/23

You've been asking for it for over a year now, and the moment has finally arrived: it's Nicole's *poly* coming out story! An episode SO epic, it's our first ever two-parter! In this first half, Nicole tells Lauren the long and sometimes painful journey that finally led to her understanding that she was polyamorous. She digs into her fear of being perceived as "a bisexual stereotype," and we bust polyamory myths and define more terms than a sexy dictionary! Strap in, and get your POLY EDUCATION!

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68:54

Episode 116: Annie Elainey

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/09/16

We cover SO much with content creator and activist Annie Elainey! Annie describes herself as "an intersectional being," identifying as queer, disabled, Latinx, genderfluid, non-binary lesbian, and autistic - quite a list! Annie discusses the struggle it took for her to finally be diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, and the unexpected parallels between her coming out journey and her disability journey. Also, internalized ableism, lack of accessibility in queer spaces, and dating with a

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78:58

Episode 115: Amanda Jetté Knox

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/09/09

We finally take on the topic of cancel culture, and HOO BOY, do we have a lot to say! Author, speaker, and advocate Amanda Jetté Knox was in a hetero marriage when her 11-year-old came out as trans...but that was only the beginning! We talk about their family's incredible journey, and how it ironically led to Amanda being attacked online by the very community she so fiercely advocated for. You'll laugh! You'll cry! And you'll love (or hate) some of our opinions...amandajetteknox.com /

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71:32

Episode 114: Israel Gutierrez

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/09/02

We take our first foray into the world of professional sports with ESPN personality Israel Gutierrez! Until the age of 31, Izzy would only allow himself to go to gay bars once a year, and only when he was out of town. He talks about the man he met on one of those trips who helped him come out, and shares the emotional story of how he finally told his family. Also, we discuss how sports and politics have collided, and how being out actually ended up giving Izzy's career *more* meaning.IG:

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63:30

Episode 113: Jessica Lillebo

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/08/26

Jessica Lillebo lives in Alabama, and is a longtime listener of the pod. However, as a trans woman, she was hurt by some things that Nicole brought up in Episode 110, so she reached out. And lest you think Nicole doesn't practice what she preaches re: talking things out in person, she and Jessica had a FaceTime sesh to discuss! We wanted to share their conversation, and invite Jessica on the podcast to talk about being trans in Alabama, explain how she told her kids, and more!Say hi on IG at

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70:02

Episode 112: Sammy June

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/08/19

We have a FANTASTIC conversation with actor/illustrator Sammy June (Backstreet Butches), who uses both she/her and they/them pronouns. Sammy talks about her Mormon upbringing, and the difficulty of getting not just divorced, not just "gay" divorced, but gay *Mormon* divorced. We also plunge into the murky waters of sex vs. gender, and Sammy shares how she's learned to be comfortable with all of the contradictions that she feels in these areas. Plus, the complex relationship between women and...their

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61:54

Episode 111: Chanel Glover

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/08/12

We bring on another one of our co-facilitators to help us tell the very-relevant story of The Most Uncomfortable Conversation (TM) we've ever had at the LGBT Center! Writer Chanel Glover (Sasha & Condi) was raised in a family that always taught her to be proud of her Blackness; when it came to her queerness, though, Chanel initially felt like she was betraying her Black community by "sharing her activism." We talk being "woke" vs. being self-aware, and also get real about lesbian

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61:14

Episode 110: It's All Coming Out!

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/08/05

In a special episode that's just the two of us, we divulge some exciting plans we have for the pod! From our closets, we detail the ways in which we're broadening our definition of "coming out" in order to cover a wider variety of topics that intersect with guests' identities. We also tease some upcoming eps we have planned, and come out to each other AGAIN-- but in a totally different sense. Lauren shares something that may or may not-at-all shock you, and Nicole reveals something incredibly

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63:24

Episode 109: Yetide Badaki

Coming Out Pod ·

2020/07/29

We have an across-the-pond chat with the *unfathomably* lovely Yetide Badaki (American Gods; This Is Us), who identifies as bi, Black, Nigerian, immigrant, and more! Yetide shares how, for a long time, she wasn't sure if she could claim space in the queer community...until reading the comments on a YouTube video made her realize how crucial visibility is. She also teaches us the meaning of "TCK," and we dive into the powerful connection queer women have to sci-fi/fantasy shows like DS9 and

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