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PODCAST

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom

Marcy Larson, MD

When pediatrician mom of three, Marcy Larson"s 14 yo son, Andy, was killed in a car accident in 2018, she felt like her life was over. In many ways, that life was over, and a new one forced to begin in its place. Come alongside her as she works through this journey of healing. She discusses grief and child loss with other grieving parents and those who work to help them in their grief. This podcast is for grieving parents and well as those who support them.

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

01:01:16

Episode 144: Jackson's Mom & Dad

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/06/16

As a self-proclaimed data and analytics guy, Ben discovered a disturbing fact shortly after his infant son, Jackson, died. He learned that nearly 50,000 children between the ages of 0 and 20 die each year in the United States alone. That means that each year, 100,000 parents have to live through this horrific nightmare. This does not even include any step-parents or other family members who are suffering as well. Last week, we were introduced to Everly’s parents, Nick and Martha. They also lost

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01:00:48

Episode 143: Everly's Mom & Dad

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/06/09

When Nick and Martha’s young daughter, Everly, was brought to the emergency room from daycare, they were told, “Your daughter is very sick.” Martha remembers thinking, “No, she’s not. She’s totally healthy.” Shortly after that conversation, the parents were brought into the room were they were unsuccessfully trying to resuscitate Everly. Nick and Martha were hit with the reality that their previously healthy daughter had suddenly died. Nick and Martha were in shock. They were completely devastated

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01:00:12

Episode 142: Caring for Grievers

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/06/02

I have to admit that before I lost Andy and started this podcast, I did not think much about the importance of caring for grieving people. You might have thought that this would have been a big focus that I had as a physician having lost my own mom when I was in college, but it truly was not. When my mother was dying, the medical team really did not do a great job supporting her or us, but at the time, I thought this was an aberration. Certainly, most hospital staff did a better job. Our experience

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01:03:08

Episode 141: Poppy's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/05/26

“I’m sorry, Katie, but I can’t find a heartbeat.” These are the words that changed Katie’s life forever. After an easy pregnancy, today’s guest went into labor on her due date, never expecting that anything could be wrong. She and her husband had just heard baby Poppy’s strong heartbeat a few days before. Now, she was dead? How was that even possible? A stillbirth? In this time of modern medicine, it was hard to even believe that still happened to people. As much as Katie didn’t want to believe that

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54:28

Episode 140: Braedon's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/05/19

Empowered. When I was about halfway through today’s interview with Braeden’s Mom, Tiffany, the word that came to my mind was ‘empowered.’ I remember thinking to myself, this is an unusual word to describe a bereaved mom, but in Tiffany’s case, that word just fits perfectly. Her life certainly felt broken after losing her only son, Braedon, but it was not destroyed. She was determined that her life would not be over and that she would continue living the best life that she could. While many bereaved

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56:56

Episode 139: Brendan's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/05/12

Sometimes, it feels like the world is really big and at other times, it feels really small. When I first spoke with today’s guest, Jen, the world actually felt quite tiny. She is from my home state of Iowa and lives in the town where I went to college, beautiful Decorah, Iowa. She graduated a year ahead of me and we even have two mutual friends - Sarah a friend from high school, and Meredith, one of my best friends from college. This is amazing enough, but even more precious to me is the timing of

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01:00:56

Episode 138: Ella's Mom & Dad

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/05/05

From early in Betty and Kyle's relationship, they had a basic plan for their life together. For years, that plan worked without a hitch. They got married, finished their education, and then started their wonderful little family. When their first child, baby Ella, was born, life continued to feel perfect. They documented every little milestone, watching her grow, begin to walk and even say a few words. Then right around her first birthday, Ella began to show symptoms that looked like a little cold

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01:04:53

Episode 137: Matty's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/04/28

Today's guest, Rachel, has had a long relationship with grief starting in her teens when her dad died in a car accident. Over the years, she was there for the deaths of several other loved ones. She had even witnessed family members who lost children. She saw those who 'grieved well' and those who did not. I think that if you had asked her before Easter weekend 2019, if there was really anything that grief could throw her way that would be completely unexpected or shocking, Rachel would have

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01:03:13

Episode 136: Andy's 18th Birthday

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/04/21

When I realized that Andy's 18th birthday was going to fall on a Thursday, and thus be a podcast release day, I knew that the episode would have to be devoted completely to Andy. I planned to arrange this amazing episode with recordings from all of the people who loved him. I wanted it to be absolutely perfect. As the day came closer, however, I found that I could not do it. The pain was just too deep - I was constantly crying, and I was putting way too much pressure on myself. Last week, I

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01:01:57

Episode 135: Zoey's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/04/14

When Monica's daughter, Zoey, suddenly died on her 5th birthday on a trip to Disney World, she did not know how she could go on. How could she continue to be a good mother to her other daughter, a wife to her husband? As a physician, how could Monica continue to care for her patients? I feel so drawn to Monica today, because I, too, struggled with those same thoughts. I would find myself wondering if I could not save Andy, did I have any business trying to treat other patients? If I 'let him down,'

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59:31

Episode 134: Dakota's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/04/07

In the days after Andy died, someone from my office quickly arranged for each member of our family to start seeing a counselor. Eric and I were given an appointment together and it was, in a word, weird. We sat there on a loveseat in the office while the therapist crouched in front of us by our feet for the entire hour. I don't remember anything anyone said, but I do remember looking at her thinking, 'That cannot be comfortable.' The visit was awkward for both Eric and me. I remember him saying as

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59:36

Episode 133: Where Is God in My Grief?

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/03/31

When applying to medical school, potential students are required to write a personal statement to accompany the application. I remember specifically what I wrote in my statement because I was in the pain of grief. I wrote that I was applying to medical school to become a doctor both because of, and in spite of, my parents' battles with cancer and my mom's recent death. You see, without the cancer, I never would have really been exposed to the medical community. My plan in life was to become a writer

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01:04:21

Episode 132: Jessica's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/03/24

Tenacious. When listening to today's guest, Nancy, talk about her precious daughter, Jessica, the word that immediately comes to my mind is tenacious. No matter what life threw her way, Jessica continued to fight and even thrive. Despite being born with congenital heart disease requiring multiple surgeries resulting in many complications, she just kept going. Jessica loved life and would talk and talk until she quite literally turned blue and her family would say, "Jessie, slow down a minute. You

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57:19

Episode 131: Judson's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/03/17

When I started the Always Andy's Mom podcast, the story was picked up by local TV stations. I remember one particular interview on my family room sofa. I was brought to tears several times, but managed to relay to her my goal of trying to bring a bit of hope and healing to grieving parents. When we finished the interview, she actually gave me a hug. I remember her saying, "I feel like you are going to do something so amazing with this. I can't wait to see what happens." She went on to say that she

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54:52

Episode 130: Aven's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/03/10

A few month's after the death of Debra's 6 year old son, Aven, she had a friend point out something that she had never noticed before. Her friend said, "You know, you can't spell heaven without aven." Debra and her family had never noticed that before. They named their son, Aven, after a dear grandmother named Neva. It was special to them, but they certainly had never noticed a connection to heaven before that moment. Aven's story is a very special one to me because Aven almost died years before as

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59:57

Episode 129: Hudson's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/03/03

Sometimes when you meet someone, you just click and a friendship forms immediately. I had that sudden feeling of friendship from the first email that I received from today's guest, Amanda. I don't want to give away too many details because I want you all to listen, but I feel like meeting Hudson's mom, Amanda, was somehow divinely orchestrated from above. After the death of their son, Hudson (affetionately known as Buzzy), Amanda and her husband formed an organization in their son's memory called

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01:00:21

Episode 128: Krissy's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/02/23

Shortly after recording today's episode, I received an email from today's guest, Shirlene. I want to share part of that email with all of you - 'I was giving blood today and my “Krissy” tattoo was in full view … the phlebotomist asked me about Krissy and she shared that her sister had died from sepsis too… we shared some thoughts, words, and tears….but then she said to me…, ”may I ask what your favorite memory is about Krissy? I’m sure you have many…” I was so touched and so eager to share and talk

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56:35

Episode 127: Grieving as a Couple

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/02/17

I have a distinct memory of a promise made on the night that Andy died when our broken, little family stayed together in Peter's hospital room. Eric and I could not sleep so we went out in a little area that overlooked the city of Grand Rapids. Eric said these words to me that night, "This will not break us." I immediately knew what he meant. No matter how hard the upcoming days, months, and even years would be, we were going to face it together. One of the most common questions that Gwen and I are

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54:46

Episode 125: Rachel & Hunter's Moms

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/02/03

When I started thinking about what to write about for today’s guests, Traci and Michelle, a song immediately came into my head. Perhaps it is because both of these women describe their children as ‘old souls’, but an old song came to mind. The song is, ‘You’ve Got a Friend,’ as sung by James Taylor originally recorded in 1971. The lyrics start: When you’re down and troubled and you need a helping hand. And nothing, whoa, nothing is going right. Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be

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01:06:10

Episode 124: Ray's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy"s Mom ·

2022/01/27

Shortly after her son Ray died in 2001, Darla's neighbor, Kay, walked up to Darla's front step. Kay told Darla that she recognized Darla's pain because she, too, had lost her son at the age of 10. When Darla asked her how long ago her son had died, Kay's answer stuck with her forever. Kay said, "1968. Yesterday. An hour ago." When Darla's two children were born with cystic fibrosis, she lived with the knowledge that she may outlive both of her children. Darla expected that she may slowly watch

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