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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

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1:25

George’s parking space

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/11

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. His priorities were completely out of whack. "No, George, you can't have your own parking space," said the captain. "We're pirates. We're always out at sea, plundering. You'll never need a parking space." During the next raid, George somehow managed to plunder a Buick dealership. "Oh, great," grumbled George. "Now where will I park this car?" He tried to park in the captain's space, but the captain had George's car towed. George gave the Buick

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11:15

Weekly Challenge #989 – Server

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/06

LisaRichard Lizzie Thomas Ian Serendipidy Tom Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is Place LISA The Server Pete, a medical student, was working part time as a waiter. It’d been a difficult shift a packed restaurant with one particularly rude customer mostly insulting him and questioning his intelligence. He didn’t contradict her. It was a placement week and the same awful customer had been in a nasty car crash. Her shoulder had come out of its socket; He

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1:26

George on a cruise ship

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/05

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Any time he led a raid on another ship, things didn't end well. Unless you count that time George led a raid on that Filipino cruise ship. They were going to rob the casino, but people mistook them for actors playing pirates. "This is better than the shows in Vegas!" said the cruise ship's captain. "Can you do this for every one of our cruise ships?" George's captain signed the contract, and they made more money playing pirate roles than

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1:05

George and the swear jar

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/03

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Most sailors speak in ways that are saltier than the seas, but George did his best to avoid swearing. He had a swear jar by his bunk, and every time he swore, he'd put a piece of eight in it. His shipmates would steal from the jar, and George would shout "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MONEY?" And he'd drop another piece of eight in the jar. Which his shipmates would also steal. His shipmates eventually stole enough money to throw themselves a party. No,

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1:17

George the… whirling dervish?

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/02

George was a dervish, but he wasn't a very good dervish. He tried to whirl, but he'd get dizzy quickly, and he'd trip over his own feet. So, he tried to whirl the other way, and he'd trip over his feet even more quickly. That's when George decided to give up whirling, and he'd stand perfectly still. "What good is a dervish who does not whirl?" growled his dance master. "Does not the earth turn?" said George. "And orbit the sun? Which orbits the galaxy?" The dance master pondered this, and then

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1:08

George eats local

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/04/01

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He sailed the world, adventuring with his shipmates. But unlike them, he would take in local culture and cuisine. He'd be sipping coffee at a sidewalk cafe or enjoying some delicacy in a hole-in-the-wall while they'd be lining up at the McDonalds for a Big Mac and fries. And then they'd plunder and loot the place, burning it to the ground. George didn't try to convince his crewmates that going local was better than franchise food. Because he

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1:26

Lisa – Empty Click

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/31

TOAST The house felt empty when the first responders forced the door but found Paul unconscious on the kitchen floor. They fired up the defibrillator; heard the click that signaled it was ready, then waited for the green light. “Clear!” Paul’s body jerked but was unresponsive. The room filled with Ambulance Staff, Police, Family. A toaster, tethered by its plug, was hanging off the side; his Mum put back in its place. The job got harder the smaller the room became but they continued well after they

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1:13

George wasting time on facebook

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/31

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He spent most of his time on Facebook, telling his friends about his adventures. Instead of actually doing anything. You know, like pillaging, looting, and plundering. This annoyed the hell out of his shipmates, and they cut off his access to the ship's WiFi. But even the Guest access could access Facebook. "It's so that the people we kidnap for ransom can beg their relatives for money," said the captain. "Or they can start a Kickstarter or

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8:44

Weekly Challenge #988 – Give it all, Empty,...

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/30

Thomas Richard Lisa Serendipidy Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is Server RICHARD --- Cross words --- Today's crossword was fiendishly difficult. I'd spent twenty minutes trying to figure out six across: 'Beginning with Spanish dippers, at Brazilian barbecue?' I didn't have a clue. My wife peered over my shoulder, "Churrasco!" she said brightly. "What?" "The beginning of Spanish dippers… churros, and the Brazil barbecue thing… churrasco." She smiled

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1:15

George the best man

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/29

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. You know how there's no such thing as "bad" pizza or blowjob? Well, don't ask George to handle your bachelor party. Rummy Bill learned that lesson the hard way. One pizza. One stripper. And the stripper turned out to be his fiancee's sister. She ate all of the pizza and threatened to tell her sister about the party. Rummy Bill paid her off, but the next day, the wedding was off. The sister snitched. As Best Man, George felt relieved. Renting a

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1:13

George outsourced

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/28

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Which is why the captain teamed him with a group of H1-B foreign workers, who asked him a lot of questions and took a lot of notes. "You're going to outsource my job, aren't you?" George asked the captain. "No, I'd never do that" said the captain. Instead, he replaced George with a robot. The foreign workers programmed it with everything George did. The problem was, George did everything wrong, so the robot did everything wrong. When the robot

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10:21

Weekly Challenge #987 – Visceral

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/23

ThomasRichard Lisa Serendipidy Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is PICK TWO Give it all, Empty, Churrasco, Fiendishly difficult, Click NORVAL JOE Billbert’s mother, her superpower being incredible efficiency, asked, “Have you spoken with her?” He felt a conflict deep inside himself. How could he not lie to his mother and also be true to Sabrina. He couldn’t. “Yes. She said she wants to be left alone.” Calabassa perked up. “You know where she is?” Billbert

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1:18

How is George doing?

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/22

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate.How many pirates do you know that hand out comment cards while they pillage, loot, and burn? "On a scale from one to five, how would you rate this pirate's behavior?" The problem isn't that George fails to specify whether one is the best or the worst on the scale. It's that he never has a pen or pencil handy when the person asks to borrow one. "I'm the one stealing from you, not the other way around!" snarls George. And then he swipes the

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1:25

George votes

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/21

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He also wasn't very informed on the election. "Who are you going to vote for?" pollsters would ask George. "I don't think I can vote for either candidate," said George. Operatives from both parties wined and dined George, showering him with gifts. "Vote for us," said one party. "No, vote for us," said the other party. And they spent even more on George. When Election Day came, George didn't vote, and he stayed home. "I still don't think I can

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1:20

George and the reckless and young

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/19

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. When we were young, we thought we could do anything. George, not so much. He knew his limits. He knew he wasn't immortal and powerful like we were. As we were reckless and living life to the edge. George would watch us with this sadness. Not out of jealousy. Or envy. But pity, because he knew. He knew we were so wrong. And as we died young, one by one, in battle, in bar fights. Buried with eye patches and peglegs and hooks for hands. We proved

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2:02

George and Tourist Season

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/18

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. During tourist season, he worked for a water taxi service between the islands. People snapped selfies with him, and he'd give his best pirate leer or he'd draw his cutlass and demand their gold and jewelry. They'd laugh, and gave him excellent reviews on the comment cards and Yelp. "George is the best pirate ever," they said. "If only the islanders were as charming as George." At the end of the season, George returned to his ship and showed his

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1:15

George the Spammer

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/17

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He liked to send a lot of unsolicited email, and people reported him as a spammer. "I'm a pirate, and we pirates loot and pillage towns and ports," said George to his hosting provider. "And sometimes I notice that when some of my shipmates can't get it up when they're ravishing and raping, I make a note to send them an email about this herbal remedy I distribute." "Sounds reasonable to me," said the administrator, and they turned his account

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14:44

Weekly Challenge #986 – TV in the background

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/16

Thomas Richard Lisa Serendipidy Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is Visceral THOMAS The TV is always on in the Background. The TV in the kitchen is always on, even when no one’s watching. It hums softly as Mom rolls the dice in Monopoly and Dad grumbles about losing again. My brother trades two railroads for Boardwalk while Grandma stirs her tea, shaking her head. Between turns, we talk about the neighbors. Mrs. Parker’s new beau, Mr. Lee’s talking dog, the

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1:28

George the cultured

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/15

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. While the other pirates went to the taverns, George went to the theater, ballet, and opera. "Landlubber tripe!" his mateys said, and they laughed. George didn't mind them. But George did notice a man at the ballet who bore an odd resemblance to the captain. "My niece is the lead dancer tonight," said the captain. "Not a word." To keep him quiet, the captain let George be captain for a day. The crew, terrified of what might happen, spent that day

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1:06

George passes the bottle around

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/03/14

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Shipwrecks had fallen to rot and rust on the blood-soaked beach. With every wave, bodies washed ashore. A few, he recognized. Collect wood to start a fire. Sit a while, warm your hands. Pass the bottle of whiskey around. Tell stories of the old days. Great battles and massive treasures. We could have lived like kings. If only... if only... When is enough enough? George looks around the fire. He is alone. Tossing the empty bottle into the

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