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PODCAST

Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction

Childhood best friends, PataFria: a professional Dominatrix, mommy/grandma and overall jack of all trades, and Crystal: a die hard animal lover, mommy/wife, peacemaker and caregiver of MANY share hilariously dysfunctional stories from their personal lives. Navigating mental illness, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, views on current events, a little gossip, the dumpster fire of politics and so much more. “Nothing is off limits and everything is funny”

comedy improv

All Episodes

84:37

148: Italian Instinct

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/10/14

It’s our 3 year anniversary week!! The new iPhone update might have a sneaky new feature. Bad service in a restaurant is really a mood killer and if Crystal wants your recipe she’ll track you down! Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Hella Infused High quality handmade and lab tested CBD infused products

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77:50

147: I"m a Big Ass Trick

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/10/07

Retrograde is bringing them old thangs back, don’t raise our rent. Crystal is a cool mom and also a part time plumber. Trains vs threesomes and Pata Fria booked another surgery. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Hella Infused High quality handmade and lab tested CBD infused products. Support local Black

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71:38

146: Why I Didn't Find One?

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/09/30

We’re back together again! Crystal is a sex queen. Bunny’s becoming a bit of a problem and please always wash your hands! Check out this week’s sponsors! • Poshmark The seasons are changing, we’re ready to clean out our closets and grab some new items for fall! Poshmark is our favorite reseller app on the market. It’s super easy to set up a closet to sell your items for cash and browse thru thousands of gently used and brand nee items, some at 70% below retail. Right now Poshmark is

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76:08

145: You're Not To Be Trusted

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/09/23

Keep you head on a swivel, weirdos are out there. Raising sons isn’t always a great time. Pumpkin season is upon us and tiktok is great for life hacks. Check out this week’s sponsors! • DIPSEA Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on! The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift

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122:13

144: May The Best Pussy Win

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/09/19

Please note, this is our first episode recorded separately due to covid. Our quality of sound may have been somewhat compromised. A few updates, a few write ins…everyone be safe and thank you for listening! Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Poshmark The seasons are changing, we’re ready to clean out our

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92:48

143: Dumb, Dumber, And a Baby

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/09/04

Crystal Barbie wasn’t real, call her Crystal hot tits. Everyone needs to explode sometimes. HSP explains a lot. PeePee is doing much better, Natalia made everyone early valentines. Check the dates on all snacks always. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • DIPSEA Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy

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75:58

142: Let's Joust

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/08/26

Bunny had her first fight, Crystal ate some bad food, Pata Fria is loving store deliveries and curbside service. When was the last time you ran full speed? Stay your asses off the milk crates and race play kinks are unfortunately a thing. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • DIPSEA Dipsea is an audio app full

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75:19

141: Creamies

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/08/22

Happy Birthday Crystal, fussy babies and the first day of school. Don’t eat chocolate in the bed and does anyone know how long plan B lasts? Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Hella Infused High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella

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75:21

140: And I Wasn't On Drugs

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/08/12

Crystal got embarrassed at Alpha Beta and has ugly nails. Pata Fria is a lonely girl, but don’t marry your cousin or your child. Starbucks is really slackin so thank god for Orbit Coffee! Check out this week’s sponsors! • DIPSEA Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on! The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and

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101:39

139: Meat Sweats

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/08/05

PMS is killing us. Was Crystal actually a southern woman in a past life? America’s eating habits are embarrassing. Don’t wait for the stink. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Hella Infused High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella

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105:02

138: Hide Your Wieners

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/07/29

We’re still wearing masks, Pata Fria’s sex drive is on it’s way back and Crystal got her mouth clawed. Don’t poison your family, be passive aggressive or start fires with your gender reveals. Check out this week’s sponsors! • Hella Infused High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infused is offering a free gift and 20% off to our listeners. Shop now using code: hellodysfunction at checkout. hellainfused.com IG:

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97:49

137: Beefy Mustache

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/07/22

We’re happy to be back, last week was eventful. Art show was a success, Crystal samples drinks before buying and Pata Fria is fixing her Marge. Please practice fire, covid and drug safety. Crystal has a connection to New Orleans and they love making themselves known. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Hella

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101:09

136: Pull Those Leggings Down

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/07/15

Welcome to the news. PeePee is small and if you don’t have a medical clearance please make sure you’re at our art show. Pata Fria had a really vivid dream and beware of ticks! Door Dash has been a joke and Crystal’s phone is still x-rated. Check out this week’s sponsor! • Hella Infused High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infused is offering a free gift and 20% off to our listeners. Shop now using code:

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104:45

135: Put It In My Dead Mouth

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/07/08

Happy Birthday Frida Kahlo. Leo the cat used one of his lives and vets are kinda like car salesman. The art show is next week so buy your tickets now! PeePee is a true intellectual. Some twins are EXTRA close and Crystal discovered an awful fetish. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Hella Infused High

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76:27

134: Discount Code.. Hello

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/07/01

Crystal has boob sweat, Pata Fria’s back is broken. Pay attention to signs from the universe, love your friends while they’re here, Pata Fria is planning yet another surgery and Crystal loves 80s mullets. This week’s tv recommendations are: High On The Hog (Netflix) Outcry (Showtime) Check out this week’s sponsors! • Hella Infused High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infused is offering a free gift and 30% off

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62:44

133: Don't Judge Me, But...

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/06/25

There’s a cat in the room and it’s Bunny’s birthday!! Crystal had a Reno getaway, Pata Fria’s had a busy busy week. DNA testing, c-sections are serious, Crystal loves the Tootsie Roll. This week’s tv recommendations are: • 7 Deadly Sins (Showtime) • The Accused (Hulu) Check out this week’s sponsor! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO The

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113:47

132: Sharing The Dysfunction- feat. Judge Us Not Podcast

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/06/17

This week we tried something new and linked with the Judge Us Not podcast for some male perspective! We hope you enjoy! Check out this week’s sponsor! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area: 1-888-634-1123 Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG:

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91:06

131: She's A Lot Like The Caldecott Tunnel

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/06/10

Pray we aren’t getting sick, keep an eye on creepy teachers, technology is really changing lives. There’s now a huge free resource for sex workers, don’t defend your children’s wrongdoings. A genital anomaly, let’s all educate ourselves on gender and sexuality. This week’s tv recommendation is: • Gender Revolution: A Journey w Katie Couric (Disney +) Check out this week’s sponsor! • HB Crystals If you’re into crystals for their metaphysical properties or just to admire their beauty, check

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95:27

130: Let's Talk About My Tits

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/06/03

Crystal has dry socket, Pata Fria doesn’t have new brows but she does have new bras. Hackers are active on IG and we’re just constantly reminded how awful humans are. Don’t lie to AAA and don’t be afraid to ask where someone got their butt done. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO The number for covid testing

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122:07

129: I'm Sorry, Robyn

Hello Dysfunction ·

2021/05/27

Crystal is a registered foster dog mom, Pata Fria had a really nice bday. Nothing ever goes smooth so just laugh. This week’s tv recommendations are: • Ultimate Warrior documentary (A&E) • The State of Texas vs Melissa (Hulu) Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • HB Crystals If you’re into crystals for

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