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PODCAST

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life

We are Simon & Lorra. A married couple. Mum & Dad to three kids... One in his 20s, one at uni, one fast approaching her teens. We love each other to bits but we also realise that we want to kill each other a lot. One day that quote will probably be used against one of us in a court of law. Each episode, we"ll chat about our marriage, love life, kids, London, relationships, anything relevant in the news and we"ll recommend anything we"ve seen, played, read or listened to. Contact us on

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

32:57

#HAWSTL 042 - BRISTOL DIARIES: LADS' LOCKER ROOM

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/20

Hello you! Hope you're well. We've been out for another chilly, crisp, morning walk. It's rush-hour in the country, so we've seen a couple of cars. Back in the cottage garden, we talked about...• Teso Plant Chef sossies.• Cold showers.• Deriving to Bristol & marathon-dodging.• Leaving Leo for his first day in his new hometown.• The Galleries & Cabot Circus.• Ladies in the men's toilets.• The Old Market Quarter.• Betsy Pearl's gay sauna comedy moment.• The joy of being upstairs on a bus.• The

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38:35

#HAWSTL 041 - BRISTOL DIARIES: FIRST TIME DISAPPOINTMENT

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/19

A bit of a surprising, eye opening day for us yesterday. We talked about...•Three motorways & traffic.• Our son's uni residence & parents dropping-off.• Textbook Bristol introduction.• Corn Street & St Nicholas Markets.• Too many people.• The "students these days" discussion.• Bristol oversell & subsequent disappointment.• Leo's first legal drink and getting carded.• Proper England rain.• Thornbury fly-by & the Tesco vibrator.• Saturday night telly and feeling down.• Late night

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36:22

#HAWSTL 040 - BRISTOL DIARIES: DRIVING WEST & COTTAGING

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/18

Good Morning! And it is a good morning, as we got to try out a new walk from our Gloucestershire cottage today. And we talked about...• The country morning ambience.• Leaving Calshot & Hampshire.• Longleat Safari Park.• Getting attacked by monkeys & deer.• Bath traffic woes.• A massive steaming pile of manure.• Lorra's emotions and the bins.• Our new cottage.• Berkeley and nasty local encounters.• A quality chippy and another world record.• More hellos and thank yous for your

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31:50

#HAWSTL 039 - THE FINAL HAMPSHIRE DIARIES: MOVING ON

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/17

Emotional morning. After a couple of weeks, flights, swabs, tests, results, isolation and everything else, this morning was our last time around 'The Calshot Lap'. It was a crisp but sunny 10ºc (Simon even wore a long-sleeved top - Shock horror!)Today we talked about...• Betsy Pearl's "appendicitis".• One last Mother-in-Law BS story.• Packing.• A gorgeous trip up and down the River Stour.• A walk around Christchurch and revisiting the wishing well.• Chip Advising at The Old Mill Tea Room.•

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40:22

#HAWSTL 038 - HAMPSHIRE DIARIES: ALPACAS & FOGHORNS

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/16

What a beautiful walk this morning, to accompany our recording. Blue skies, a thick fog hanging on the mouth of the river and the Solent, the Isle of Wight Ferry's foghorn blaring away... Loved every second of it. And today we talked about...• Our final full day in Hampshire and packing.• Walking with alpacas.• Awful GPS & wild horses.• Acres Down Farm & cream teas.• A walk with a view.• Morrisons, aloohol-free Guinness & even more gin.• Blackberry-picking.• The best & worst

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24:55

#HAWSTL 037 - HAMPSHIRE DIARIES: STINKY FARM & GREAT...

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/15

Hello! Hope you're fit & well. We're just back from our morning walk and recording session, which we missed terribly yesterday, due to the inclement weather. That said, the 100% rain forecast for the day didn't happen and we managed to fit quite a bit in. Today we talk about: • Longdown Activity Farm.• Lorra's pygmy goat fantasy.• Robin's Nest Antiques Emporium sans haggling.• North/South Halfords pronunciation discrepancy.• The Happy Cheese review & a Chip Advisor world record.• An evening

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29:33

#HAWSTL 036 - HAMPSHIRE DIARIES: UGLY CITY CENTRES

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/14

Hello you! We recorded today's pod sat in the car at Calshot Beach in the rain, which is expected to last all day. And we talked about:• Our view.• The weather (obviously).• The new hire car and it's futuristic holes.• Heading into Southampton City Centre.• Our review of the Costa vegan bacon butty.• Lorra's Primark wormhole.• Simon's views on the ugliness of England's city centres.• Marks & Sparks sparkly festive booze.• Leo's expensive phone fix.• Our Lymington fly-by.• An exciting Barry

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30:01

#HAWSTL 035 - HAMPSHIRE DIARIES: CAR BOOT & MIDDLE OF...

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/13

On this morning's chilly (12ºc) Calshot loop, we talked about:• The possibility of the UAE changing the weekend.• Getting to do a Simon 'thing'... The car boot sale.• Missing out on almost-definitely-stolen-but-cheap bikes.• More hire car/sex metaphors.• Teaching Betsy Pearl the art of haggling.• Betsy Pearl being an abductor's dream come true.• Leo's pretentious student purchases.• Simon's vinyl bonanza.• Purchase of the day... The Thunderbird 2.• The Middle of Lidl.• Extended family meet-ups.•

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21:13

#HAWSTL 034 - HAMPSHIRE DIARIES: THE MERRY POD OF...

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/12

Another rapidly-recorded and 100% unedited pod this morning, from a quick walk down to the beach and back. It was 9ºc this morning, it's been around 17ºc every other morning. Today we talked about: • The weather, obviously.• The Windsor parking odyssey.• Windsor Castle.• St George's Chapel and too much history.• The 9/11 memorial and getting on the telly.• The State Rooms & Prince Phillip Exhibition.• Painting and hobnobbing in the East Garden.• A £150 walk around Windsor.• Chip Advisor at The

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21:12

#HAWSTL 033 - HAMPSHIRE DIARIES - ROPE SWINGS & DOGGING

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/11

A quick, unedited chat this morning, as we're heading out to Windsor Castle shortly and Foreplay-Hire-Car departure time is soon. Today we talked about...• Lorra's Dad correcting our water mistakes.• Where we were for 9/11.• Day 8 Covid tests.• First stop at Asda (with a brooding teenager).• Leo (Daftus Brushus) having his first ever UK day out alone.• How much money Lorra gave him to finance this walk around town.• Car park Quorning.• New Forest Wildlife Park (and Familus Chavus).• Popping to

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19:14

#HAWSTL 032 - HAMPSHIRE DIARIES: "HIRE CAR FOREPLAY"

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/10

We sound unusual today because we recorded our usual morning 3km walk around Calshot, the Solent & Southampton Water but Simon, like a pillock, deleted the recording. So, we popped into the conservatory at Dennis & Gaye's and recorded a quick, unedited recap. We talked about...• The botched recording.• Hythe, the little pier train and the ferry.• Hire car foreplay.• A boring pre-university Ikea visit.• Lorra's alter-ego... CHIP ADVISOR!• The Mayflower Theatre.• Simon's first reaction to

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32:21

#HAWSTL 031 - HAMPSHIRE DIARIES: FREEDOM DAY

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/09

Today we move on to The Hampshire Diaries segment of our trip. Yesterday was 'freedom day' and we managed to get out and about. Today we talked about...• Strimmer wars.• Simon & Queen Victoria comparisons.• The poo-truck cometh.• Lorra's meticulous beach packing.• Beachgoers & wild swimmers.• Our kids in the English Channel.• Who from our family were beach fidgeters.• Childhood cafe memories ruined.• Leo's bathroom issue.• Betsy Pearl's ghostly walk to Luttrell's Tower.• Getting called out

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37:49

#HAWSTL 030 - ISOLATION DIARIES: DAY 5

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/08

We got the negative TTR results last night, so we went for a sunrise walk through Calshot, down to Calshot Spit, along the beach and the huts, back along the Solent Estuary, alongside Fawley Power Station and back, through the wild bushes, trees and nature, to home. We've left as much as the recording in as possible, so you can hopefully feel the ambiance around us. Don't forget to check-out the photos that accompany this walk here: http://instagram.com/catboy92 Today we talked about: • Being

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24:12

#HAWSTL 029 - ISOLATION DIARIES: DAY 4

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/07

Back in the garden, a glass of water for Simon, a rhubarb G&T for Lorra and we're away on another isolation podcast (although we had been out... Legally... More on that tomorrow). Today we talk about...•The daily unbelievable weather report.• Life admin, incl. an emotional SIM card & a bank fail.• Becoming a porn-controlling dad.• Simon's second Amazon delivery... The "Spite Buy".• Peregrine Falcon spotting.• Look & Read school days chat.• A marriage conker battle.• Leo's bike-helmet

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19:14

#HAWSTL 028 - ISOLATION DIARIES: DAY 3

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/06

Day 3 of government-imposed lockdown was a beauty. On today's Isolation Diaries, we talk:• "Studio" issues due to sea mist.• A brief synopsis of "The Fog".• Outstanding British weather (which we didn't pack for).• Another day of no arguments.• The trees around us.• Conkers & Sycamore helicopters.• Explaining the conker scoring system.• Loo roll shortages.• More Scrabble.• Lorra back on the booze.• Should we be flushing our wee in the eco-house.• The spider vs wasp battle royale.• Sunday roast

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20:38

#HAWSTL 027 - ISOLATION DIARIES: DAY 2

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/05

Episode 27 and Day 2 of our Isolation Diaries, as we await the mystical Day 5 nose-poke and freedom. In the meantime, from a garden beside the Solent estuary, we talked about...• The remarkable English weather.• Being morning ninjas.• Anglo Saxon homework & England's premiere bull****ter.• Lorra's booking spree.• Simon's "spite-buy" vinyl spree.• Another manky "cactus" bath.• Isolation titillation via the NHS Track & Trace calls.• Scrabble first-timers.• Double car hire shenanigans.• Air

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19:39

#HAWSTL 026 - ISOLATION DIARIES: DAY 1

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/04

Hello you! We're back for Day 1 of our Isolation Diaries, bunkered down in Calshot. Today we talked about...• Day number confusion.• Garden gnome face tan.• Dubai body clock.• Unavoidable morning family noise.• Father-in-Law coffee machine envy.• The perfect British Summer day.• The miracle of keeping a 9yr old off an iPad.• Double doggy doo-doo dilemma.• **ARGUMENT ALERT** (regarding SIM card bitterness).• Another batch of PCR test results.• Barbecues & rhubarb crumble.• Simon's 'double hump'

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26:10

#HAWSTL 025 - ISOLATION DIARIES: DAY ZERO

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/09/03

After at least 7 attempts, botched recordings, faulty microphones, forgetting to press record and lots of other faffing-about, we FINALLY managed to record episode 025 of #HAWSTL (Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life) and you may notice it sounds a little different, because we've gone international and we're recording 'on the road' with our Rode Wireless Go II mics. Today we talked about...• Our garden location.• Leaving one of our children in Dubai.• The velocity and ferocity of a Mum-wee.• Taxi

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25:53

#HAWSTL 024 - "YOU'RE RULED BY URANUS"

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/08/25

Another slice of married life for ep.24 of #HAWSTL (Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life), talking about...• Excitement about 'The Crown'.• Naughty Dominic West's range.• Holidays to suit your star sign.• Pulling apart Nostradamus.• The wet toilet roll mystery.• A 'Wife's Whinge' regarding mobiles at the dinner table.• A 'Husband's Hump' about nature.• A 'Would You Rather?' about how to digest TV.• 'Favourites'... Thing to put on your feet.• A brief but revealing chat about open relationships.We

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36:19

#HAWSTL 023 - "ANNIVERSARY GIFT POLITICS"

Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life ·

2021/08/24

Hello! A brand new episode of #HAWSTL (Husband & Wife Sentenced to Life) and we cut straight to the chase with an argument straight after the jingle about who should start the podcast! We also delve into...• A very interesting space fact.• Lorra's hypothetical space disaster.• Anniversary gift politics.• Guilt about leaving the kids for the night.• Hotel shenanigans.• Lorra and THAT dress (The real PINGdemic).• The best veggie burger of all time.• Following the sitcom 'anniversary nookie' rule.•

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