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PODCAST

Couples Therapy In Seven Words

Dr. Bruce Chalmer

Be Kind, Don‘t Panic, and Have Faith. Psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer and educator Judy Alexander talk about relationships, interview fascinating guests, and answer your questions.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

37:45

Reigniting the Spark: Loving, Sexy, Thriving...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2022/05/15

For this special episode, we turn the tables and become the interviewees! Genesis Amaris Kemp, host of the GEMS podcast, interviews us about the seven-word formula, stability, intimacy, how we met, and a bunch of other fun topics. Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books. Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps

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51:43

Oh No! Now I Know What He Really Thinks!

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2022/05/06

What happens when someone you think you know—someone you love, and feel a deep connection to—says or does something you never imagined they would say or do? Is all lost? In this episode of our “Couples Therapy in Seven Words” podcast, we talk about ways we’re all bundles of contradictions, with mixed feelings and opinions that can emerge at different times. Along the way, we discuss the work of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, whose experience of a stroke taught her (and all of us, through her work) how to

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43:58

How to End ”I Get It; I Lost It” - An Interview with...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2022/04/29

Lisa Carrillo works with couples to help them find and foster the experience of flow, that state of being open-hearted and open-minded, attuned to whatever is present. We talk about her work, and ways her understandings overlap with the seven words that are the basis of our podcast. Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books. Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all

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44:49

Why is Dating So Horrible These Days?

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2022/04/08

Young people are having less sex, and over half of single adults in the United States have given up on dating. Why? What’s going on? A chance conversation with a young woman, some research we’ve read about, and lots of conversations in the office led us to this topic. Along the way we touch on the topic of a celebrity whose involvement with gerbils was said to be…well, let’s say intensely personal. (We thought of calling this the gerbil episode, but thought better of it.) What are your experiences

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42:00

When is Enough Enough?

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2022/04/03

When is it time to pull the plug on a relationship? In this episode, a listener brings us his dilemma: How can he talk to his partner about their relationship, when she freaks out if he raises the topic? And how can he decide what he wants himself? We also give a tribute to our dear friend Bev Bettman. And we invite listeners to weigh in on one of the central concepts Bruce is working on for his next book: what happens when ideas harden into ideologies? Here’s the link to the Seven Days article

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44:47

Wait…Who Are You? You’ve Gone All Religious On Me!

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2022/03/20

What do you do when your previously non-religious partner gets religious--and you have no desire to go along on the journey? Can a marriage survive this kind of change? We talk about how couples handle this in practice, and answer a listener question about it. Here’s the link to the Seven Days article profiling us. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@CTin7.com, judy@CTin7.com, or just visit CTin7.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show

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35:31

A Great Marriage, But…No Sex! What Can We Do?

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2022/03/04

Kate has a lovely marriage—they’re kind, considerate, and deeply bonded to each other. But Kate’s already low libido pretty much tanked after menopause. What can they do? In this episode we talk about some of the options, with particular reference to Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus’s book Sex Points. Here’s the link to the Seven Days article profiling us. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@CTin7.com, judy@CTin7.com, or just visit CTin7.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be

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50:13

How Can a Card Game Help Your Relationship? An...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2022/02/25

Can a card game for couples help your relationship? In this episode we interview Diana Indries, co-creator of the Better Topics for Couples card game. Diana explains the game and how she came to invent it with her husband, and takes us through some of the questions. Find out more about the game at bettertopics.com. Here’s the link to the Seven Days article profiling us. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@CTin7.com, judy@CTin7.com, or just visit CTin7.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let

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40:45

Talking Sh*t About Talking Sh*t About Death: An...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2022/02/18

Diane Sullivan is known as "The Rev," and is the art director of Seven Days, a newspaper in Vermont, for which she does an advice column. She is also the host of a podcast, "Talking Sh*t About Death." We have a delightful conversation with Diane about those pursuits, about her late husband's pee pictures, about a listener question, and...well, all sorts of things! Send in your questions: email us at bruce@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, judy@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, or just visit

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30:58

My Wife Found Out I Cross-Dress. Help!

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2022/02/11

Cross-dressing is not all that unusual among heterosexual men, but their wives are usually not very happy about it. We handle a question from a listener who hid his cross-dressing secret from his wife for decades, only to be discovered. Now what? Here’s the link to the Seven Days article profiling us. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, judy@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, or just visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know

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30:50

When is it Okay to Move On and Start Dating?

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2022/02/04

When is it okay to move on after losing a relationship, either to death or divorce, and when is it too soon? What about the dreaded "one-year rule?" And what about the kids? Should they have a veto? We talk about these issues, and handle a listener question from a man who's begun to date less than a year after his wife's death. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, judy@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, or just visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com. We'd love to hear

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41:12

How Can We Find the Time to Connect?

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2022/01/28

Can a couple survive if they can only find ten minutes a week for an uninterrupted conversation? We discuss an article from Psychology Today called “The 4-Hour Relationship,” and find we don’t completely agree on the premise! The link to the article we talk about is here. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, judy@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, or just visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be

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07:02

Looking Forward!

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2022/01/14

We look forward to the coming year! Send in your questions: email us at bruce@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, judy@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, or just visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit couplestherapyinsevenwords.com for more information. Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books. Like

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50:43

Can I Live to 100? Do I Want To? An Interview with...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2022/01/09

What do you think about the possibility of living to 100? However old you get to be, how can you live a life worth living, a life of meaning and fulfillment? We interview psychologist Dr. Joe Casciani, whose Living to 100 Club offers help with these issues, and we tackle a question from a listener who is aging well herself but fears her husband has given up. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, judy@couplestherapyinsevenwords.com, or just visit

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19:35

Communication, Sex, Intimacy, Faith–We Cover It All!

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/12/31

We look back over our podcast year, and look ahead to 2022. Communication (more specifically, “It’s Not About Communication!”) continues to be our most popular topic, followed by sex. (Kind of makes sense, doesn’t it!) Along the way, Bruce lets slip what he’s working on for his next book. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@CouplesTherapyInSevenWords.com, judy@CouplesTherapyInSevenWords.com, or just visit CouplesTherapyInSevenWords.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like

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55:14

How to Have a Great Sex Life: An Interview with...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/12/25

Want to change your sex life from meh to magnificent? We talk to women’s intimacy and sex coach Debbie Elzea. She tells us about seven things that women need for a great sex life, and answers a listener question from a woman who’s too pooped to participate. Debbie’s website is https://moreintimacy.net. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit

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41:37

The December Dilemma

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/12/17

How do you handle Christmas if you’re not Christian? Judy shares her experience as a synagogue educator working with interfaith families who want to strengthen their child’s Jewish identity, and Bruce tells how his feelings about this have evolved over the years. We handle a listener question from a Jewish woman married to a non-practicing Catholic man about how to handle Christmas with their daughter, who they are raising Jewish. The website Judy talks about is 18doors.org. Send in your questions:

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42:08

Faith Heals People. Ideology Kills People.

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/12/10

How does faith heal people? And what’s the difference between faith and ideology? And where does religion fit in? And what does all of this have to do with couples therapy, anyway? We handle a listener question that focuses on all of these ideas. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information. Dr. Chalmer's

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32:19

How Do I Get Over a Breakup When I Have to See My Ex...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/12/03

As the song says, breaking up is hard to do. How do you get over a breakup you didn't want, when you are co-parenting with your ex and have to see them or at least communicate with them every day? We handle a listener question that has multiple layers: What can a mother do for her adult son who hasn't been able to get past being dumped by his wife? Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to

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46:33

I Can’t Stand My Husband’s Family. What Do I Do About...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/11/24

The holidays are supposed to be times of family togetherness and joy. But what if they aren’t? And what happens to a couple when one person’s pain becomes the other’s impossible dilemma? Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information. Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy,

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