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PODCAST

No Such Thing As Love

Terminally single comedians, Jessie Jolles & Claire Burns, no longer believe love exists. Thankfully for us, they’re selflessly in the trenches dating to prove they are right. Laugh with them while they regale us with their dating woes and bring on special guests like a dating coach to dissect their profiles, an ex to explain what went wrong, fellow comedians to share their stories of dating, and actual blind dates that happen in the studio. Listen each week to see what new evidence they’ll have

comedy

All Episodes

01:08:05

A Refreshing Date with "Mr Friend"

No Such Thing As Love ·

2022/04/06

Dates can be friends! As proven by Jessie's recent date with Alex, or as he's known on the streets, "Mr Friend." He joins the ladies to talk about his side of the date with Jessie and the complexities/annoyances of different dating apps. Claire gives an update on her LONG anticipated date through the matchmaker. No spoilers but it went as expected. It didn't happen.

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00:50:36

Strictly Non-Monogamous

No Such Thing As Love ·

2022/03/30

How can you even explore non-monogamy when you haven't had a monogamous relationship in years? Jessie and Claire dive into the topic of non-monogamy after taking a course with sex and relationship therapist, Rachel Wright. They cover common misconceptions and societal norms we all need to unlearn. Jessie also chats about her recent suitor who exclusively invites her to ticketed events at Madison Square Garden. Which could be the best night of her life or a true terror.

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00:56:03

Suggest Don't Show

No Such Thing As Love ·

2022/03/23

Celebrating National Let's Laugh Day, Jessie and Claire are filled with laughs as they discuss the Summer of Thighs, sending sexy photos, erotic balls, and their enthusiasm to make out in public. They also answer a listener's question about handling their lover's kinks. Send in those questions to nosuchthingasloveshow@gmail.com! (end song I Want To Know What Love Is by Foreigner)

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00:51:50

Chess Players are Liars

No Such Thing As Love ·

2022/03/16

Can you trust someone who says they want to "catch up" but they've only ever known your sweet sweet body? It's hard to not believe them when the sweater is tight on the arms and the comfort is very appealing. After discovering the blatant lies that were told to Jessie, Claire talks about when she cheated in a threesome, they weigh the difference of physical and emotional cheating, and they both confess to threatening friends' boyfriends. They're nothing if not supportive friends.

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00:40:35

Girl, We Tried

No Such Thing As Love ·

2022/03/09

The ladies heard the rudder scraping in the mud and decided to change metaphors and generate some content. Jessie & Claire hit the town this weekend! Did they really not like the inventory in 7 different bars? Did Claire prematurely buy drinks at all of them? Did Claire also shat herself days later? She really wishes one of those wasn't true.

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00:58:03

Compliments not Flattery

No Such Thing As Love ·

2022/03/02

After sharing their disgust for Netflix no longer allowing a full binge on new seasons (it isn't cable!), the ladies share their updates, knowledge, and bold opinions. Claire had to proactively reach out to the matchmaker she pays to be proactive but she also put some of that energy in to chatting with some peeps on Hinge. Jessie rescheduled a listener's setup to make the most of the February blues. With semi-fresh wounds, they dissect the article "3 Ways to Distinguish ‘Love Bombing’ From Healthy

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00:46:32

Groundhogging Insecurities

No Such Thing As Love ·

2022/02/23

Jessie and Claire share the newest dating term, groundhogging, and falsely believe it doesn't apply to them. But with both of their updates, they revisit some old insecurities and reactions that make us all wonder if their emotions are groundhogging them. Who can blame them when they're fooled by a hat and an obnoxious stand-up?

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01:06:09

Plus One Required

No Such Thing As Love ·

2022/02/16

Attention all wedding hosts: you are now hereby required to give a "plus one" to all single guests. The ladies have spoken and therefore it is now law. The ladies also get into season 2 of Love is Blind and are quite relieved they didn't hit send on their submissions. Jessie went on an actual dinner date with a man in a button down and now has a new standard for dates. Or at least new hopes.

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00:59:42

Love Bomb Swindler

No Such Thing As Love ·

2022/02/09

The ladies are catching up from weeks lost in January. Jessie has 3 dates this week and already turned down a matchmaker setup. Claire asked for help, for one of the first times in her life, at the same time as inflicting psychological warfare on herself in the wake of 6'10's ghost. They also discuss the recipe for their Tinder Swindlers which doesn't include private jets and designer labels. Only asking questions and dating in their neighborhoods. They're easy targets.

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00:56:29

Back from the Dead

No Such Thing As Love ·

2022/02/02

Jessie saw the light and has finally returned to life with a little help from Pedialyte and extensive sleep. Claire gives a disappointing 6.10 update and assures us that her matchmaker hasn't ghosted her. Yet. Jessie had a surprising exchange with an old fling while on her deathbed that was really touching. But with no physical contact. And both ladies believe January didn't count so they're excited for the new year now that we're in February.

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01:26:11

Big Security with "6.10"

No Such Thing As Love ·

2022/01/12

Sometimes we need to hear from the other side so Jessie and Claire are joined by special guest "6.10" to share his thoughts on meeting Claire, dating as a super tall man, and what it's like to be a fetish. The 2 giants and 1 petite lady come up with a great business plan for date security. Jessie also takes us into her head as she works out a weird date with someone that was an hour late. And it shockingly wasn't Claire.

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01:14:15

The Dirty Whore Variant

No Such Thing As Love ·

2022/01/05

Jessie & Claire are chock-full of silly stories, fun updates, and breakthroughs after their winter break. From Jessie's life changing visit to London, Claire's titillating rendezvous, bowling with bumpers, dropping cash for love, and misinterpreting innocent texts, the ladies cover it all. They also revisit last year's resolutions (which they may or may not have stuck to) and set some new ones for the year ahead (which they may or may not stick to).

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00:44:15

High on Life and Cocaine

No Such Thing As Love ·

2021/12/01

Jessie & Claire fulfilled some Thanksgiving wishes with the help of neighborhood bars, old friends, and high hookups. Jessie is back in action on the apps doing some research before her holiday travels. Claire finally got her dancing fix at an 80s night but felt in her 60s the days following. Big update! The ladies have decided to take the month of December off from the podcast so they can fill up their journals with overseas & overstate adventures. They'll be back in 2022 to fill you all

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00:51:26

Time for a Matchmaker, Matchmaker

No Such Thing As Love ·

2021/11/24

Tis the season to grow! And we're not just talking about our waistlines. Jessie has re-evaluated her stance on not dating while working on personal growth. Spoiler: you can catch her on the apps now in new & improved profiles! Claire is officially dating men AND women after her first delightful lady date. The biggest takeaway was the easy process so Claire is currently raising funds and donating organs to employ a matchmaker for herself. (end song "Matchmaker" from Fiddler on the Roof (Original

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00:43:19

Others Doing The Work

No Such Thing As Love ·

2021/11/17

In a much deserved break, the ladies took a back seat to the hard work this week. Jessie hits the town with a confident, hot friend who knows how to make a move while the jenga blocks fall. Claire was contacted by a matchmaker to go on her first official date with a woman. She's flying blind with no information beyond the time and place to meet. To which she's going to do her best to not be late.

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00:47:57

Power Singles

No Such Thing As Love ·

2021/11/10

Celebrating Singles Day on 11.11, Jessie and Claire read through a suspicious list of 15 Things Only Single People Can Enjoy. The only thing they learned is the author needs to be checked on. While on the single subject, they chat about their own favorite parts of being single and parts they miss about couple hood. Claire just misses having an audience to laugh at her commentary. They've decided it's time to pay it forward by using their expert dating/relationship advice for any audience questions

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01:19:14

Lessons in Domme

No Such Thing As Love ·

2021/11/03

From MFM threesomes, to lessons in dominance, to excited lovers falling asleep while in the act, the ladies sure know how to make sex fun. Jessie gives an update from the new & improved Camp Jessie about removing *most* dating apps and wanting a holiday snog. Claire gained insight on her life priorities from a nosy Uber driver and wonders if she has the energy for a threesome with 2 large men anymore. Then Sex Educator Claire shares all the dirty deets she learned from a Dominance 101 class with

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00:49:30

All Treats, No Tricks

No Such Thing As Love ·

2021/10/27

Feeding off Jessie's new childlike enthusiasm for Halloween, the ladies chat about Halloween's past with hidden razor blades in candy and turtlenecks under ballerina costumes. Claire is proud of her successful match of a Hinge suitor with Jessie, telling 6'10" to get an STI test, and connecting with an on and off again app match. Jessie is back to requiring a video vetting call before dates and both ladies discuss how the fall air can bring on some holiday dread.

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00:48:46

Swiping Left on God

No Such Thing As Love ·

2021/10/20

You may have left an organized religion but that doesn't mean you've gained admittance into Jessie or Claire's heart. The ladies chat about religion and dating after Jessie had an unorthodox date. Claire admits her bias when swiping but realizes it's her own issues with organized religion. The good news is she asked out a lady this week! Bad news, she was rejected. Turns out dating isn't easy no matter your preference. (end song Losing My Religion by REM)

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01:08:40

Lab Result Truths

No Such Thing As Love ·

2021/10/13

Jessie is at the height of her game and Claire is winding down for her final act. At least that's what she feels from the recent confirmation she's perimenopausal. The trickery is that she also has chlamydia so fun can be had at any age! Jessie reached a new level of euphoria with Mr Rain which unlocked the sex goddess witch within her. It's the season of witches after all.

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165 results

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