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PODCAST

The Vampire Journals

"Earth Break" creator Morgan Ormond and "Shoe Bones" writer El Haney invite their friends to do a deep dive into each episode of "The Vampire Diaries," a supernatural teen drama on the CW from 2008 to 2016. We bring our queer perspectives, emotional processing, and knowledge of vampire lore and literature to try and answer the question: "Is this show actually good?" You can support this podcast! Click the link below to get started.

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All Episodes

01:41:56

The Simp Bond - Season 4, Episode 9

The Vampire Journals ·

2024/06/23

In this episode, it's Christmas and the town of Mystic Falls puts on another event at the Lockwood Mansion: a Winter Wonderland. Surely nothing bad will happen here! Professor Shane (Shady-pants) helps hypnosis Jeremy into not wanting to kill his sister-- I'm sure there's no ulterior motive. Shane also fills everyone in on the witch Silas, whatever his deal is. Elena and Damon struggle with the sire bond coming between them. Meanwhile, Tyler is finally ready to take down Klaus.Content:

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01:22:15

Ethically Sourced Girlfriends - Season 4, Episode 8

The Vampire Journals ·

2024/06/02

In this episode, the Salvator Bros take a road trip to New Orleans to figure out just how literal the sire bond is. A new hybrid challenges Tyler for the werewolf alpha crown. Meanwhile, Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie have a girls' sleepover at the Salvator mansion and do sleepover things like drinking, dancing, and cellphone product placement.Content: The Vampire Diaries; Season 4, Episode 8: We'll Always Have Bourbon Street Facebook Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Journals

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01:13:40

Jeremy is Not OK - Season 4, Episode 7

The Vampire Journals ·

2024/05/26

In this episode, it's the Miss Mystic Falls pageant again, and this time, Elena and Caroline support April as pageant veterans. Damon smells something off about Professor Shane and won't stop until he finds out what this occult prof is up to. Meanwhile, has anyone checked up on Jeremy lately?Content: The Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 7: My Brother's Keeper Facebook Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook Group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Vampire

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01:23:02

Small Steps to the Madhouse - Season 4, Episode 6

The Vampire Journals ·

2024/05/12

In this episode, Elena is plagued by hallucinations of the man she murdered. Klaus locks Elena away to prevent her from hurting herself. Professor Shane reveals an ancient witchcraft that he's been teaching to Bonnie. And Caroline makes a selfish mistake with Tyler. Meanwhile, Stefan and Klaus have Jeremy on the path to tattooed hunterdom.Content: The Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 6: We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes Facebook Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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01:16:54

Ambush at the Applebees - Season 4, Episode 5

The Vampire Journals ·

2024/04/28

In this episode, vampire hunter Jordan Connor sets up a trap at the Mystic Grill, holding Jeremy, Matt, and April as teen hostages. Stefan allies with Klaus and continues to keep the vampire cure a secret. Meanwhile, Elena will do anything to save her brother... even kill.Content: The Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 5: The Killer Facebook Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook Group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Vampire Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter:

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01:07:58

Episode Four, The Five - Season 4, Episode 4

The Vampire Journals ·

2024/04/14

In this episode, we cold open to 5 hunks getting sweet tatts. Damon teaches Elena how to hunt at college frat parties. And in a flashback to 12th Century Italy, Klaus reveals that those 5 hunks are super vampire hunters. Meanwhile, Bonnie meets up with Professor Atticus Shane who convinces her to start practicing magic again.Content: The Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 4: The Five Facebook Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook Group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The

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01:15:21

The Enrager - Season 4, Episode 3

The Vampire Journals ·

2024/03/31

In this episode, Rebekah throws a party, the hunter uses werewolf venom in the beer kegs, and Tyler keeps new-werewolf-in-town Haley from Caroline. Meanwhile, Elena continues to struggle to drink blood that's not straight from the vein. Content: The Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 3: The Rager Facebook Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook Group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Vampire Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter:

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01:05:53

Oops, All Orphans! - Season 4, Episode 2

The Vampire Journals ·

2024/03/17

In this episode, Elena continues to vomit all non-Matt and non-Damon blood while the Salvators argue about how she should best be a vampire. Meanwhile, the town holds a memorial for Pastor Young and all the council members he blew up, and Tyler takes one for the team to distract the new vampire slayer. Content: The Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 2: Memorial Facebook Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook Group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Vampire Journals

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01:40:58

Growing Fangs - Seaon 4, Episode 1

The Vampire Journals ·

2024/03/02

In this episode, everyone scrambles to find a way to save Elena from transitioning into a vampire. Bonnie dabbles in dark magic and pays a heavy price. Meanwhile, the council does a hostile takeover of Mystic Falls, and Pastor Young is up to something nefarious.Content: The Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 1: Growing Pains Facebook Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook Group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Vampire Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter:

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01:54:21

Oh my God, You're a Ghost - Season 3, Episodes 21 & 22

The Vampire Journals ·

2024/01/17

Due to losing 40 minutes of recording episode 21, we decided to watch episode 22 and record one double feature.In this episode, everything leads up to a pivotal moment in Elena's life that connects her past to her present and forever changes her future. Klaus teams up with the Salvatore brothers, but that alliance is short-lived when Elena reveals her life is connected to Alaric's. Meanwhile, Stefan, Damon, and Tyler prepare for death as Klaus gets his comeuppance, and Elena's struggle

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00:13:17

The Vampire Diaries Season 3 Finale Predictions -...

The Vampire Journals ·

2024/01/07

Bonus episode: We talk predictions for the season 3 finale of The Vampire Diaries. After watching The Vampire Diaries episode 21, Before Sunset, our equipment crashed and we lost 40 minutes of recorded content. So, we decided to watch episode 22, The Departed, and record one big season finale double episode. Content: All of The Vampire Diaries Season 3, up to and including Episode 21: Before Sunset Facebook Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook Group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The

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01:49:30

Twilight 2: New Moon Christmas Special

The Vampire Journals ·

2023/12/24

In this episode, we watched the second Twilight movie, New Moon. Edward leaves Bella because his world is just too dangerous. Bella goes into a depression spiral and then becomes an adrenaline junkie. Meanwhile, Jacob does some pining and then some doggy whining. Our takeaway? We wish the whole movie could have been just big CGI wolf fights and big daddy vampire pope Michael Sheen. Please subscribe and share. You can also support this podcast! Click the link below to get started. Content: Twilight

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01:12:46

Alaric Did Not Go Gentle - Season 3, Episode 20

The Vampire Journals ·

2023/12/03

In this episode, Esther continues her plan to kill all her children. She turns Alaric into another Original Vampire(TM) but he decides to let himself die before drinking human blood. But will Esther let her plans fail that easily? Meanwhile, Rebekah misses yet another school dance: The Decade Dance is here again; this time, it's the 1920's. Content: The Vampire Diaries, Season 3 Episode 20: Do Not Go Gentle Facebook Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook Group:

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01:17:09

Hotel Motel Holiday Sin - Season 3, Episode 19

The Vampire Journals ·

2023/11/12

In this episode, Elena and Damon take a trip to Colorado to get Jeremy so that he can ask ghost Rose who her upline is. They stop at a motel where things get spicy. Stefan tries to get Alaric's alter ego to appear and tell him where the last white oak stake is. Meanwhile, Caroline and Tyler have a spicy reunion of their own. Content: The Vampire Diaries, Season 3 Episode 19: Heart of Darkness Facebook Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook Group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Vampire

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01:10:26

Mojo Dojo Casa Klaus - Season 3, Episode 18

The Vampire Journals ·

2023/11/12

In this episode, one of the Original vampires gets murdered and his whole downline goes with him. Backed into a corner, Stefan makes peace with Klaus by offering the rest of the white oak stakes. Meanwhile, Elena and the gang try to figure out who is in Klaus' downline. Content: The Vampire Diaries, Season 3 Episode 18: Murder of One Facebook Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook Group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Vampire Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter:

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01:12:13

The One Ring to Rule Alaric - Season 3, Episode 17

The Vampire Journals ·

2023/10/08

In this episode, Elena learns the history of her ancestor Samantha Gilbert, and her tragic death. Sage reappears in the modern day to help Finn Mikaelson survive. Damon and Sage plot against Rebekah to get information about the white oak tree, but that is a threesome never meant to be. Meanwhile, Alaric continues to spiral in his discovery of the serial killings, and Caroline has a hard time convincing Abby to stay with her daughter, Bonnie. Content: The Vampire Diaries, Season 3 Episode 17: Break

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01:11:59

Turn-of-the-Century Women's Boxing - Season 3,...

The Vampire Journals ·

2023/09/24

In this episode, we go back to 1912 where a hot female vampire boxer punches her way through the hearts and heads of men. The mystery of the Mystic Falls serial killer unfolds as we connect the dots to the past and present. It has something to do with Alaric, the Gilbert anti-supernatural death ring, and ancestor Samantha Gilbert. Meanwhile, Damon makes the same mistakes with his brother Stefan's blood addiction, but this time swears he'll always be there for him. Content: The Vampire

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01:08:05

All Esther's Children - Season 3, Episode 15

The Vampire Journals ·

2023/09/10

In this episode, Esther continues her plan to murder all her kids by drawing power from Bonnie and Abby--and the whole Bennett witch bloodline. Elijah makes a new deal with the Salvatores to save his family. Meanwhile, Alaric is still looking for the mysterious Mystic Falls serial killer who stabbed him. Content: The Vampire Diaries, Season 3 Episode 15: All My Children Facebook Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook Group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Vampire Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter:

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01:15:38

The Family Murder Party - Season 3, Episode 14

The Vampire Journals ·

2023/08/27

In this episode, the Michaelson family matriarch throws a ball! Klaus does all he can to get Caroline's attention, like sending her a ball gown and drawing a picture of her next to a horse. Stefan is still pretending he can't love Elena while Damon's love confession gets rejected. Meanwhile, Elena is pulled into Esther's plot to murder all her children. Content: The Vampire Diaries, Season 3 Episode 14: Dangerous Liaisons Facebook Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Journals Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook

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01:09:47

Mom Uninterrupted - Season 3, Episode 13

The Vampire Journals ·

2023/08/13

In this episode, Stefan fucked around and found out the 4th coffin housed the body of the Original Witch: She's back and she wants to forgive her children. Caroline's dad makes a decision that, again, hurts Caroline. Elena stabs Alaric to save him from dying from being stabbed. Meanwhile, Mikaelson brothers Klaus and Elijah tell Salvatore brothers Stefan and Damon all about how THEY WERE ALSO IN A LOVE TRIANGLE with a Petrova doppelganger. Content: The Vampire Diaries, Season 3 Episode 13:

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