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PODCAST

LOVERS by shan

Lovers by Shan is an education-first space where listeners come to better understand their own intimate lives through the life lessons and expertise of others. Shan Boodram’s mission is to empower everyone to be their own intimacy expert in the bedroom and beyond by treating guests of the podcast as educators in their own right. Past guest include Kelly Rowland who taught us about being a sensualist. Becky G who shared the importance of healthy love in an unhealthy body. Kerry Washington who warned

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

52:47

S2 Ep128: Are They Your Type or Your Trauma Response...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/07/16

What does it mean to date and be in relationships in a trauma-informed way? Are you dating from a place of fear instead of self-worth? In this powerful episode, certified dating and relationship coach Anwar White opens up about his personal journey and why emotional safety is the foundation of any healthy relationship. We explore the crucial question: Can you really date men if you're scared of them, or if deep down, you don't even like them?Whether you're recovering from toxic relationships,

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52:34

S2 Ep127: What’s the Emotional Tax on Casual Sex? ft....

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/07/09

In this episode, Weezy and Mandii B get real about shedding the pressure to “find the one” and embracing what feels good instead of what looks good on paper, how we need to reverse engineer the way we have casual sex, and how to set yourself up for success while dating and having casual sex. WeezyWTF expands on how sexual liberation goes hand in hand with how you approach and manifest casual sex. Mandii B & Binx open up about surviving sexual assault, and how that experience reshaped their

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25:20

S2 Ep126: Too Many of Us Are Living with...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/07/02

What if numbness is the hidden wound of high-functioning depression?In this episode, Shan sits down with Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist, clinical researcher, and internationally recognized mental health advocate. They dive deep into anhedonia, the loss of pleasure or interest in things that once brought you joy, and how it shows up, especially for those living with high-functioning depression. Dr. Joseph expands on how joy is our birthright and how it connects to our

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53:52

S2 Ep125: Kama Sutra Secrets Every Woman Deserves to...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/06/24

What if the key to better sex isn’t new, but rooted in ancestral knowledge?In this episode, Shan sits down with storyteller, mythologist, and ancient erotica expert Seema Anand to explore the rich, and yes, deeply sexy, history of sexual liberation, and why it's never really been a modern idea. Together, they unpack what it means to reconnect with your desire through ancestry, ritual, and unapologetic self-expression. We talk sex positions (yes, the Kama Sutra makes an appearance), the role of

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57:24

S2 Ep124: He Was Never Going To Commit And Here's Why...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/06/18

Why do fuckboys… fuckboy? In this episode, we dig into the root of it. Just ahead of the release of his new single Permanent Vacation (dropping June 18), genre-bending artist Duckwrth joins Shan for a raw and revealing conversation on why some men detach, ghost, and repeat the cycle. Together, they unpack how fear of commitment, cultural conditioning, and childhood wounds can all contribute to the “Certified Loverboy” identity. Duckwrth opens up about his own evolution—from polyamory and emotional

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54:11

S2 Ep123: I Wanted My Man, Not the Sex: Tamsen Fadal...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/06/11

Have you ever wondered where your libido went? In this episode we do a deep dive on sexual slumps, low libido and lack of sexual desire that is frustrating (lack of desire that is not frustrating is not a problem!). We get to have this conversation first from the lens of Emmy-winning journalist Tamsen Fadal whose journey with low libido started in perimenopause and peaked on her honeymoon! From hot flashes and brain fog in the newsroom to bedroom low sex drive, Tamsen has become treasured for

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50:58

S2 Ep122: Go Where you are Celebrated, Not Just...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/06/04

From fatphobia to racism to ageism and ableism, Kennedy challenges the norms around love, desirability, and who gets to be the “main character.” This one’s for anyone who's ever felt left out of the story — and is ready to take the pen back.Bestselling romance author Kennedy Ryan (Before I Let Go, Reel) sits down with Shan to talk about what happens when women stop shrinking themselves to be chosen. From rewriting the stories we’ve inherited about sex, love, and partnership — to questioning why

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65:22

S2 Ep121: Having the Sex I’d Want My Daughter to...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/05/28

What kind of stories do we pass down through the way we love?Actor and mom Xosha Roquemore sits down with Shan to talk about sex, self-worth, and how becoming a mother shifted everything. It starts with one question she asked that stopped us both: “Have the kind of sex you’d be proud to tell your daughter about.” We talk about the early messages she got about sex, how sexual coercion showed up in her past, and why that experience still needs more language. She shares a fun one-night stand story

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69:00

S2 Ep120: It Doesn’t End With Him - Jessie Woo on...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/05/21

Reclaiming Intimacy: Jessie Woo’s Journey Beyond Trauma. Comedian and media personality Jessie Woo joins Shan for a powerful conversation about healing, love, and rediscovering sexual joy after surviving sexual assault. Jessie shares her painful story of her assault and her joyful story of her relationship with Jay Allen aka Mr Easter.Now Jessie is on the path to reclaiming pleasure and building healthy relationships, offering hope and practical insights for anyone on their own journey of

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53:30

S2 Ep119: Death, Love and Grieving What’s Still Here...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/05/14

Nothing good lasts. Right? In this deeply moving episode, Canadian singer-songwriter Alessia Cara joins Shan Boodram to explore the connection between intimacy, loss, and the fear of death (thanatophobia). Inspired by her song "Sublime" from Love and Hyperbole, Alessia opens up about her personal journey with grief and how it shapes the way she loves and creates. Together, they dive into universal questions: How do we hold on to love while letting go of control? How does the fear of loss impact our

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54:11

S2 Ep118: Sleep Divorce: Raven-Symoné and Miranda’s...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/05/07

In this week’s episode, I sit down with Raven-Symoné and her wife Miranda Pearman-Maday for a refreshingly honest conversation about love and what it really takes to sustain a modern relationship. They share why they chose a sleep divorce, and how sleeping separately has deepened their emotional bond, sharpened their communication, and brought them even closer.This episode is a masterclass in emotional maturity and intentional partnership, an invitation to rethink what a healthy marriage can look

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56:36

S2 Ep117: I Lost My Sex Drive Because He Never Did...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/04/30

In this week’s episode, I sit down with the legendary Cree Summer to talk about her journey through love, loss, and rediscovery in her 50s. Cree opens up about losing her sex drive during her marriage due to a lack of emotional shelter and the importance of finding a partner who provides safety and calm during life’s storms. We also dive into how her sex drive has improved post-menopause and what she’s looking forward to as she explores love again in her senior years. Whether you’re navigating

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41:24

S2 Ep116: Don't Waste Your Time With People Like This!

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/04/23

This is a rare solo episode with just Shan behind the mic—no guests, no distractions. Just her, answering some of your most pressing, unfiltered questions. From personal reflections to deeper dives on topics you’ve been dying to hear her take on, this one’s intimate, insightful, and straight from the heartJoin My Mailing List https://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletter Lovers Community If you’re interested in joining the Lovers community, click here to join the

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53:41

S2 Ep115: Soul Ties and Seeking Sacred Love: B....

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/04/16

Are you ready to dive deep into the complexities of love, faith, and identity? In this thought-provoking episode, Shan Boodram sits down with B. Simone to discuss the transformative journey of embracing chastity, understanding soul ties, and exploring the nuances of identity and connection.While B. Simone does not identify as demisexual, Shan suggests the possibility during their candid conversation, sparking an insightful dialogue about emotional intimacy and sexual attraction. This episode

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46:47

S2 Ep114: What Happens to Old Love When You Have New...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/04/09

Does a change in your intimate needs have to mean a change of heart? In this episode of Lovers Shan Boodram sits down with Karamo Brown, TV personality (Karama and Queer Eye), author, and culture expert, for a raw and revealing conversation about intimacy and growth. Karamo opens up about how his intimate needs evolved through his 20s, 30s, and 40s—both emotionally and in the bedroom. He shares how these changes led to the end of a past relationship, where his partner couldn’t accept his evolving

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43:46

S2 Ep113: Partnership Over Pride: Khadeen and Devale...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/04/02

Are You Loyal to Your Gender or Your Relationship? Shan Boodram sits down with Khadeen and Devale Ellis, the dynamic married duo known for their raw honesty, humor, and insights on love and relationships. Together, they share how they saved their marriage by breaking free from traditional gender roles and prioritizing their partnership above all else.Khadeen and Devale Ellis are actors, content creators, and authors of the best-selling book We Over Me: The Counterintuitive Approach to Getting

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44:38

S2 Ep112: They Liked You More When You Had No...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/03/26

Jessie Reyez joins the podcast to celebrate her new album, Paid in Memories and to dive into the complexities of boundaries and self-respect. Together, we unpack what it means to be labeled a "villain" (by both yourself and others) for setting boundaries and standing firm in your self-worth. Jessie shares her personal journey of choosing to stay single rather than settling for less in love, reflecting on the regret of taking too much accountability in her past relationship, and embracing her love

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41:44

S2 Ep111: For Women Terrified of Being 30+, Single,...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/03/19

In this episode of Lovers and Friends, Shan Boodram sits down with Deepica Mutyala, founder of Live Tinted and a trailblazing entrepreneur, for an honest and empowering conversation about being single, thriving in your 30s, and preparing for the love and family you deserve. Deepica shares her journey of building a successful career while staying true to her dreams of finding the right partner and creating a family. Together, Shan and Deepica discuss the challenges of dating when you’re successful,

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52:00

S2 Ep110: Lena Waithe: Don’t Have Sex With Someone If...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/03/12

Lena Waithe on Cuddling Over ClimaxingIn this episode of Lovers and Friends, Shan Boodram sits down with Emmy-winning writer, producer, and actress Lena Waithe (Queen & Slim, Master of None, The Chi) for an eye-opening conversation about intimacy, love, and meaningful connections. Lena shares why you should never have sex with someone unless you can imagine a positive aftermath for both of you. She dives into how cuddling can create a deeper emotional bond than sex, especially when the future

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44:34

S2 Ep109: Inner Child Meets Modern Parent: Tika...

LOVERS by shan ·

2025/03/05

What kind of relationship with sex do we want young people to have? In this episode myself and Tika Sumpter, known for her multifaceted career as an actor and creator, explore this question as parents and as people reparenting themselves. In this episode Tika shares her compelling personal story that shaped her approach to intimacy and education. Growing up in a Christian household, discussions about sex were often avoided or framed solely around negative consequences. This instilled fear and

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