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PODCAST

9 Chickweed Rage

Jeff Drake, Brooke Dillman

In 1993, Brooke McEldowney began writing and drawing the newspaper comic strip 9 Chickweed Lane. Nearly 30 years later, it"s still going strong. For some dumb reason, Brooke Dillman and Jeff Drake read the comic strip, even though it only makes them angry. This is their podcast, certainly one of the worst ideas for a podcast ever: a podcast about a newspaper comic strip that (as far as they know) no one reads. This is 9 CHICKWEED RAGE.

comedy improv

All Episodes

1:31:48

026: The Wattles and the Flapping Flesh

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2023/05/09

Here we are introduced to 60-year-old Arthur Peel and his assistant Nan-Lin Peel (no relation), who is thirty years younger than him. Arthur excuses himself for being a disgusting old man, with a balding head, hair coming out of his ears and nose and eyebrows, wattles, and flapping flesh. These are his descriptions of himself, although Brooke Mac-El-Dee doesn't take the time to actually draw him that way. He is balding, but he has thin, very well groomed eyebrows, no visible wattles and few wrinkles

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1:18:35

025: Tales of Eight Cylinders and Virginal Odometers

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2023/04/17

In this episode, we dive into Amos's subconscious, which is predictably icky. Amos describes a dream he had the previous night. He headlines it as a dream where Edda went to buy a car. But what the dream is really about is how the car salesman sexually assaulted her. So, at least we know where Amos's priorities lie. The Ol' Mac-El-Dee makes a big point of repeating (endlessly) that the salesman's name was "Wilkins or Fortescue," as if that is, by it's nature a very funny piece of business, which it

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1:32:19

024: They Wanted You to Model Because of Sitzfleisch...

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2023/03/27

Edda's modeling career begins when a scout for the famous designer Nicolette Cignet picks Edda from everyone else in her dance company because of her nice butt. Only, Brooke Mac-El-Dee never says "nice butt," he prefers to say "caboose" over and over and over, with a brief digression to "sitzfleisch" from Amos. The twist is that they only want Edda for her butt and they want Janice to be the face. So, even though it makes zero sense, they'll use both of them: Janice's face and Edda's butt. There is

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1:24:11

023: A Very, Very Good Glass of Water

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2023/02/20

After Edda "cures" Amos's hiccups, he takes the stage, first without his cello (hilarious!) and then with it. His performance, which is of course watched via satellite by all of his family and friends, inspires so much passion, that Juliette fucks Elliott on the couch right next to Nan. It also inspires Isabel to have sex with her boyfriend and Seth to make up with Mark, who appears here as a doll or small child. Amos finishes his performance and everyone there loses their minds, throwing their

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1:16:43

022: Rampant on a Bösendorfer

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2023/02/06

The world watched Amos and Edda have sex, thanks to a Belgian breaking news balloon, the kind of balloon that floats through the city of Brussels, filled with at least 10 reporters looking for news stories. And part of how they look for news, we guess, is to peep through windows of buildings and film people without their permission. Seems totally cool. But maybe that's just how "European" they are, and we're all a bunch of American yahoos. Whatever the case, the video (or film as Brooke Mac-El-D

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1:22:06

021: The Hiccups and the Special Way You Made Them Go...

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2023/01/30

Buckle up for another epic run of this guy's fucking garbage. We start looking at the story of Amos and Edda finally doing it in Brussels during a cello competition. It begins with Edda making a move on Amos which causes him to have the hiccups, which results in Amos wanting to go home. But Edda claims she has a cure, which is (of course) fucking. As soon as they've done the deed, Edda gets on the phone back home to tell her mom that, yes, she used the same "hiccup cure" that Juliette did when

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1:04:40

020: A Pair of Overalls for the Pleasingly Plump Farmer

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2023/01/23

It's our first podcast of 2023! And we're so happy to discover that this strip still makes no goddamned sense at all. We begin our twelve-strip journey (yes! twelve!) with a customer service rep responding to texts from what turns out to be Thorax. Thorax is looking for overalls in XXXXL-Tall, so naturally his path to purchasing said clothing begins with texting a customer service person. And once he finds out it's a lady -- with the doubly unlikely name of Verity Dupee -- Thorax begins his

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1:20:57

019: I Think This Whole Santa Tradition is Overrated

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2022/12/21

It's our last podcast of 2022! So to celebrate the holidays, we focus on Christmas this episode. Despite striking out at Halloween and Thanksgiving, we give the holidays another shot and take a look to see if Brooke McEldowney has anything joyful or celebratory to say about Christmas. The answer is, of course, mostly no. We're exposed to a very weird "pickle leg," an inappropriately sexy ballet Santa, Edda's sexy knees, and there's even a fun Hitchcockian cameo from McEldowney himself. By "fun," we

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1:12:11

018: Is Nakedness Such a Hindrance to Shooting People?

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2022/12/12

We flash back to World War II and immediately find ourselves dealing with two naked people in a...pond? ...a lake? ...a magical puddle? It's very unclear what kind of body of water. Anyway, the skinny-dippers are confronted with Nazis. We don't really know who we're dealing with at first. But the lady scares off some Nazis with her "terrifying downstairs business." We later discover that these mysterious people are Bill O'Malley, Juliette's stepfather, and Martine Clocqueur. Naturally, Martine is a

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1:17:35

017: You Have Utterly Stunning Toe Cleavage

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2022/12/05

If there was even a moment that you thought Brooke McEldowney wasn't a weirdo, we offer up this six-pack of excursions into the world of Edda's "toe cleavage." It starts off super-weird, with Edda sitting on the sidewalk so Amos can gawk at her feet. After thirty years of knowing each other, this toe cleavage thing comes as a surprise to Edda, because that totally makes as much sense as anything else in this strip. A cop threatens to take them in, and eventually someone files a court order against

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1:16:42

016: Say Hello to Sphinxter, the Mobile Comments Wart

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2022/11/28

Neither of us was ready for Brooke McEldowney to introduce us to a filthy sock puppet named Sphinxter. But he did it anyway. Here, Sphinxter takes on internet trolls, or as McEldowney calls them, "anonymous onliners." If you're wondering if Sphinxter has a literal butthole for a mouth, he does. And we see it A LOT. In the end, McEldowney claims victory over the trolls and throws Sphinxter away. It's super fun!The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode: Sphinxter gets introduced, states his

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1:09:19

015: A Butt of Malmsey: Happy Thanksgiving from...

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2022/11/21

To celebrate Thanksgiving, we check out a handful of strips that ran on Thanksgivings in the past. Naturally, Brooke McEldowney wants NOTHING to do with such a common holiday. So we have to find our own way to give thanks for Juliette burning her old Daisy Dukes, Rita Hayworth throwing hot dogs at virgins, Edda getting furious at a butt of Malmsey, Amos & Edda ogling a mystery woman together, and a character we've never seen before attempting to jump off a diving board while giving a piggy-back ride

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1:07:53

014: A Radio Flyer, A Sack of Flour, and a Very Long...

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2022/11/14

Of course, one episode devoted to the imaginary sex rabbit McTwo could never be enough, right? So we spend another day exploring the world of McTwo. This time, we stay primarily in Juliette & Elliott's bedroom, but that doesn't mean the psychological landscape is any simpler. Far from it. There is such outlandish punctuation abuse, it nearly defies belief. But Brooke McEldowney does in fact use over 100 periods IN ONE WORD BUBBLE. Then McTwo joins Juliette & Elliott in their bed, which Juliette

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1:06:21

013: Let Us All Say Floccinaucinihilipilification!

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2022/11/07

So, there's this giant white rabbit named McTwo. He's imaginary and he only shows up during sex. Seems like it was Juliette's burden to carry originally, but lately McTwo has branched out to watch Edda & Amos. But then we discover that he's apparently doing something more than just watching, because he creates a stain on a couch that Edda & Amos can see. So can Edda's roommate Seth, who is so disgusted by it that he literally barfs. First the stain is described as "marks," then a "spot," then a

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1:06:46

012: Day and Night Area Bombing Raids

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2022/10/31

Brooke McEldowney tells us everything he knows about conception and pregnancy. It's not clear that he understands how any of the experience, especially for the woman, really works. We begin with Juliette showing Edda a useless pamphlet that attempts to explain sex. The very same pamphlet her mother showed her and was not useful to her. Amos & Edda talk about their two possible strategies for conception, both of which sound terrible. Edda claims to wear a string bikini for the first time as a "last

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1:02:36

011: My Sweaty, Tempest-Tossed Hallucination of...

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2022/10/24

Foolishly, I suppose, we thought FOR SURE Brooke McEldowney would make some reference to Halloween in his strip over the years. At the very least, we were expecting the female characters to be dressed as sexy somethings -- painters? pilots? poop emojis? -- but McEldowney gave us nothing. So we soldiered on and explored a half dozen or so strips that ran on Halloween. Edda writes an incomprehensible sentence on the chalkboard. Thorax either milks a cow or breaks up with it. Both seem equally

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1:02:59

010: A Vial of My Personal Body Fluid

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2022/10/17

So there's this whole string of strips where people send off, basically, angry "letters to the editor." Only in this case, it's people or entities that our beloved (?) Chickweed residents have had enough of. Juliette gets mad at the health care system and as a result shoots her computer full of arrows. Someone gets an "unsolicited letter" and throws their computer out of the window. Or the person sending the "unsolicited letter" throws the computer out the window. Or an unrelated person throws a

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1:00:54

009: Prince Valiant & the Gorgon Dominatrix of the...

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2022/10/10

So, the government really did bug Edda's bikini bottoms. And her response to that is to dangle her recently removed bikini from a window to confuse the agents of the Creepy National Furtiveness Agency (you know, the CNFA). Somehow, Edda knows to lower the bikini bottom down to the open window (she knows it's open somehow?) where two children are talking about inflatable office buildings. As if "inflatable office building" is a toy that children can buy and/or would be interested in for some reason

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1:04:25

008: Your Views on Herbert Hoover Have Placed Your...

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2022/10/03

Just another day in the life of Edda & Amos Van Hoesen, when a simple trip to the pool ends up with Edda hanging by a thread. A rope? A wire? Look, we don't know. She jumps off a diving board with SOMETHING attached to her bikini bottom and she ends up hanging there for about a week's worth of comics. Amos speculates that it has to do with government surveillance, that someone planted a bug in her bikini bottom. We are not making this up. This is what he says. And so we spend all week on this topic

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1:02:59

007: The Subtle Difference Between Livestock and a...

9 Chickweed Rage ·

2022/09/26

In order to fully understand the courtship of Fleurrie & Sven Spocket, we dive into an epic 10-strip sequence. Do we also talk about a handful of strips that we're not supposed to be talking about? Of course we do. Is their "romance" as disgusting and needlessly horny as we expected? Sadly, it is even more so. Yeah. We weren't happy about that either. Speaking of not happy, Brooke promised Jeff "4 or maybe 5" comic strips and then brought TEN to the table, making Jeff angry before he even looked at

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