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PODCAST

The Horror Virgin

The Horror Virgin

What’s your favorite scary movie? Are you a fanatic or a fraidy-cat? Either way, we’ve got you covered. Each week, horror fan Paige will take Horror Virgin Todd through the encyclopedia of horror one movie at a time. We’ll discuss classics as well as fan favorites, with the occasional new release thrown in for good measure. Mikey will make inappropriate jokes and Todd will scream like a little girl at every jump scare. It’s hilarious. Prepare yourself for spoilers, tangents, and lots of

tv & film film reviews

All Episodes

02:14:03

379 - Sinners

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/06/09

“It’s an R&B Blade.” This week’s coolest horror movie is... Sinners. This film has everything: A team up so legend Nick Fury would be jealous, Uncles reminding the nephew to eat, and both Michael A, and B Jordan's doing their best to protect their culture. If you love demon-slaying jazz clubs, delightful doormen named after bread, and learning that the clitoris is not in the glovebox, this episode’s for you! What did you all think of our episode on Sinners? Tell us on our

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02:05:59

378 - The Monkey

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/06/02

“The monkey is basically Tommy Lee, and I'm sick of pretending not to notice.”This week’s most unhinged horror movie is... The Monkey. This film has everything: An electric detonation, A stripper face reveal that will blow your mind, and a haunted toy chimp that was just following orders. If you love flamethrower pawn shops, placenta-fueled twin rage, and Planet of the Apes energy with zero restraint, this episode’s for you! What did you all think of our episode on The Monkey? Tell us on our

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01:44:08

377 - Terminator 2: Judgment Day

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/05/26

“He's made of knife.” This week’s slimiest horror movie is... Terminator 2: Judgment Day. This film has everything: a corrupted Windows version of Gollum, a reality where John Connor skips leading the resistance and just lives his best life frothing lattes at a Glendale café, and a robot so anatomically gifted he can slice a sandwich with his knife-dick like he’s the deli manager at Skynet Whole Foods. If you love liquid metal weirdos, alternate destinies, and phallic cutlery, this episode’s for

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01:42:32

376 - Freaky Tales

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/05/19

"Psytopics is like R&B Dianetics."This week’s most unapologetically anti-fascist horror movie is... Freaky Tales. This film has everything: A Scott Pilgrim-style street brawl between punks and Nazis, a soft-spoken supervillain who can make a lisp sound menacing, and Sleepy Floyd, a samurai warrior who dunks on racists AND slices them in half. If you love magical realism, anarchist justice, and movies that ask, “What if vibes were weapons?”, this episode’s for you. What did you all think of

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01:27:20

375 - Heart Eyes

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/05/12

“You have the right to remain charming. Anything you say can and will be used to make me blush.”This week’s most romantically unhinged horror movie is... Heart Eyes. This film has everything: A vineyard that produces a very bloody red, A killer throuple, And a masked maniac who forces a DTR mid-murder. If you love rom-com tropes, blood-soaked meet-cutes, and horror villains who demand emotional clarity, this episode’s for you! What did you all think of our episode on Heart Eyes? Tell us on our

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01:44:17

374 - Pet Sematary II

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/05/05

“Clyde is like child Hitler.”This week’s most unhinged horror movie is… Pet Sematary 2. This film has everything: A stepdad who swings between “respect your mother” and “shoot the family dog” energy, a cat lover who will go full Liam Neeson on anyone who touches her pet, and Anthony Edwards navigating a love scene that takes a hard left into beastial nightmare territory. If you love dead pets, unhinged dads, and movies that make you scream “WAIT, IS HE HAVING SEX WITH A DOG?!,” this episode’s for

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01:48:12

373 - Final Destination 3

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/04/28

"It's like watching a commercial for the board game Mouse Trap."This week’s craziest horror movie is… Final Destination 3. This film has everything: a Rube Goldberg Grim Reaper, the strangest public transportation premonition to date, and the best porn name outside of porn ever... Full Stop. If you love improbable physics, theme parks with anatomically correct devil statues, and a franchise that leans in to elaborate kills, this episode’s for you! What did you all think of our episode on Final

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01:28:46

372 - Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/04/21

"She got hit so hard with a volleyball, she got sent into the ghost realm."This week’s most unhinged horror movie is... Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2. This film has everything: A Pandora’s box hidden in a room full of capes, The most haunted art class ever, And a ghost kiss so terrible, it blows up her headstone. If you love chaotic prom energy, haunted horses, and movies that answer the question “who packed this much evil into one trunk?”—this episode’s for you! What did you all think of our

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01:38:02

371 - A Quiet Place 2

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/04/14

"You can't breathe through your butthole."This week’s scariest horror movie is... A Quiet Place Part II. This film has everything: A baby in a Moses basket with a scuba mask, Emily Blunt flooding yet another basement like it’s her post-apocalyptic hobby, And a pirate radio station broadcasting nothing but Bobby Darin. If you love soundproof babies, damp trauma, and end-of-the-world DJs with a flair for the dramatic, this episode’s for you! What did you all think of our episode on A Quiet Place

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01:42:45

370 - Smile 2

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/04/07

"Tell me more about the time you used the dildo medicinally.”This week’s scariest movie is... Smile 2. This movie has everything: A Flatliners-style shock therapy plan that says “trauma, but make it crispy,” proof that Voss Water that might actually be a sinister organization, And a setup for Smile 3 where a stadium full of cursed teenage girls starts the smilepocalypse. If you love movies that fake you out with Pizza Hut metaphors and then kick you RIGHT in the feelings, this episode’s for

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01:43:33

369 - Slither

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/03/31

"If your husband comes back from the woods with a virus, just pack a bag and go."This week’s slimiest horror movie is... Slither. This film has everything: a man so nice they infected him twice, A small-town countdown to deer season, and a "Backter" reveal that will blow your mind. If you love parasitic slugs, small-town chaos, and family values warped by alien hive minds, this episode’s for you! Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin What did you think of this episode? Tell

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01:36:36

368 - Night of the Comet

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/03/24

"If you want it to be less formal, you’re gonna have to take off the fucks-edo." This weeks scariest movie is... Night of the Comet. This movie has everything. A retail uprising led by Stockboy Willie, the patron saint of mall trauma, Survivors who were clearly chosen by Zordon for their teenage attitude and excellent hair, and a sexy comet that turns everyone into glittery Himalayan sea salt. If you love post-apocalyptic mall chaos, Power Rangers logic, and sparkly extinction events, this

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01:33:29

367 - From Beyond

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/03/17

"What if we turn on the death machine that gives us boners?"This week’s horniest horror movie is... From Beyond. This film has everything: a scientist who accidentally builds a machine that unlocks the horny dimension, a sentient nut sack villain with a brain-dick, and Ken Foree fighting interdimensional monsters… in nothing but a Speedo. If you love cosmic horror, body horror, and movies that make you say, "Wait, does this need more sex or less?", this episode’s for you! Help Support our HV

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01:38:37

366 - Night of the Demons

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/03/10

"Climb, girl, climb!"This weeks scariest movie is.... Night of the Demons. This movie has everything, A funeral home with a terrible backstory, a Spooky Strobe light Burlesque, and a hidden compartment you never saw coming. So grab your boombox, avoid mirrors, and for the love of God—CLIMB, GIRL, CLIMB! Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin What did you think of this episode? Tell us @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and Instagram Up Next: From Beyond (1986) See Privacy

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01:44:41

365 - Motel Hell

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/03/03

"I do declare, your smoked meats are superior." This weeks Scariest movie is.... Motel Hell. This movie has everything. A motel that may or may not double as a swingers' paradise. A meat-smoking entrepreneur whose meats get way too many sexual compliments. 50 Cent’s lost Halloween album, Rump Scare. A philosophical debate on whether vegans would eat people if they were planted like vegetables. It's Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets Top Chef meets the world’s most unsettling farm-to-table experience. So

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02:02:05

364 - Blink Twice

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/02/24

"Never follow a billionaire to a second location unless they don’t know you’re following them."This week’s scariest movie is Blink Twice. This movie has everything: sinister billionaires, mind-wiping perfume, and Channing Tatum’s suspicious new teeth. If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this CEO trying to kill everyone… OR just me?” while staring longingly out a rainy window—this film is for you. We break down the Rules for Dealing with Billionaires, admire Tanning Chatham’s commitment to rich guy

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01:47:20

363 - Vampire in Brooklyn

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/02/17

"I got dick'ed down so bad that I moved." This weeks scariest movie was... Vampire in Brooklyn. This movie has everything: a toothy prince looking for his queen, an ancient supernatural bachelor patiently waiting for his best friend's kid to grow up so he can shoot his immortal shot, and a Scream connections you'll never see coming. Will Todd survive this bizarre Coming to America meets Dracula fever dream? Will Paige convince us that this movie is secretly amazing? And most importantly, how does

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01:57:33

362 - Scary Movie

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/02/10

"Arguably a better ending than Scream!"This film has everything: ghostface killers, a group of teens so clueless they make actual horror protagonists look like geniuses, and pop culture references so 2000s they should come with a dial-up modem. If you love slashers, satire, and comedy that hits way harder than it should, this episode’s for you! Help Support our HV Family: www.Patreon.com/HorrorVirgin What did you think of this episode? Tell us @HorrorVirgin on Facebook, BlueSky, and

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01:59:08

361 - The Deliverance

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/02/03

"Going Super Saiyan, for Jesus"This week’s hottest movie is... The Deliverance. This film has everything: a struggling single mother, children befriending demonic music producers, and Glenn Close delivering lines that will haunt your dreams. You’ve got the demonization of the social safety net, possessions, and an exorcism featuring Holy gibberish. If you're into supernatural thrillers that blend family drama with a side of 'Did that just happen?', this episode's for you! Help Support our HV

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01:25:59

360 - Orphan: First Kill

The Horror Virgin ·

2025/01/27

“More like Orphan: 5th Kill.”This week’s hottest movie is... Orphan: First Kill. This film has everything: Isabelle Fuhrman in the “role of a lifetime”, a rich family with deeply questionable instincts, and Julia Stiles going absolutely feral. You’ve got identity theft, murder cover-ups that escalate at record speed, and a twist so insane it makes the original movie look like a PBS special. If you love horror that takes a hard left turn into chaos, this episode’s for you! Help Support our HV

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