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PODCAST

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES

SEASON PREMIERES DEC. 1 | NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNELhttps://ratskates.com

comedy politics

All Episodes

1:00

Touring The Bensonhurst War Room

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2024/01/03

NEW EPISODES - WEEKNIGHTS 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “Now to the untrained eye, this room is nothin’ but an ordinary Brooklyn apartment loaded with modern conveniences.” But THAT'S what it's NOT. THIS is an advanced strategic command center. This is our war room…” “That ice box supplies the mess hall. Pigs knuckles and sauerkraut.” “The stove? That’s no stove. It’s an atomic snowflake melter. It’s so efficient it broke the all-time-low gas bill, set by the Collier brothers in

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1:00

Watch The Battle or Win The War?

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2024/01/02

NEW EPISODES - WEEKNIGHTS 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “Alright so we're havin’ some fun here, but that's not WHY we're here…” “THIS IS TOTAL WAR!” “If we talk about nothin' but the daily shenanigans of the woke left, does as anything change? NO! So that’s why we're not doin’ it!” “It’s the same thing every day…old nut, new nut, still nuts!” Look...do ya wanna watch the battle, or do you wanna win the war? “And where do we learn undefeatable battle strategy ? Right here

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1:00

The Hungover Heckler - CHRISTMAS BONUS

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2024/01/01

NEW EPISODES - WEEKNIGHTS 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL“Happy new year!” “Whoa…looks like some of you had a real good time last night.” “Hey, I remember when I used to imbibe, so I know some of you got a head today…I get it.” “Anyway, unlike other years, THIS new year is gonna be real cause for celebration.” “Because even though we don’t know the exact day, we don’t know the time, but THIS is the year the snake gets his!” “Wow...you guys really did get stoned last night...” “All ya gotta know right

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1:00

Warmin’ Up In The Bullpen

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/29

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “So...bet a lot a you commie bums watchin’ this show are pretty steamed by now. Never would of thought Kramden and Norton would be calling your bluff.” “I guess you never ran into an assistant plumber before.” “Well... put this in your pipe and smoke it!” “We're just getting’ started here. We’re just warmin’ up in the bullpen…wait ‘til I start my A-game. This is just a mere bag of shells I had lying around at Kelsey’s gym.” “Its gonna be

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1:00

Public Schools: Code Red

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/28

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “Brothers, the slithering snakes on the left side are after CHILDREN.” “It’s an easy kill for them to get them when they're still inside their mother, they can’t run and hide from Dr. Mengele, and we can’t hear them scream…” “All they wanted to do was be born.” “And remember, the snake's runnin’ the public school system.” “Psychological Auschwitz!” “This is the gulag they’re runnin’ with the tax money they steal from us and forcing

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1:00

The Brats Revenge: Speech Control

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/27

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “So ever since stupid-head got thrown out of the lodge, he's still trying to get revenge on The Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler...and US!” “And he needs some of us to do his dirty work, see. And he’s trying to turn us brothers into brats…LIKE HIM!” “Right now he's SO desperate, he thinks he can change reality by changing what we're allowed to say; that we'll RE-IMAGINE things just like HE did when HE was part of the

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1:00

Ego, Feelings & Logic

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/26

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “So ya see it's very simple. We all got the same problem...EGO!” “Lucifer had a good job up there; he was handsome and everything. Had good connections, but he had a big ego.” “Felt he didn’t have to listen to the boss, that HE should be runnin' things.” “Poor little maroon…shows us he's the STUPIDEST thing that ever was.” “WAY more stupid than he is a sneak. And the dame could of used her thinking apparatus, but no, she goes and

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2:03

Thelma's Bells - CHRISTMAS BONUS

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/25

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNELListen, before we go any further here with the war here, I gotta tell ya what happened.. Hey Harve…Harvey…turn that clock off for me please. Thank you. I got a postcard, see, thought it was Christmas greeting…nope. Putter down at the tax office found out about the skinny chicken, he wants to see me down there. And speakin’ of clocks, the clock in the horses stomach was way off so I woke up late. I rush over to the bathroom, I’m lookin’ for my

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1:00

Genesis: A Technical Explanation

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/22

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “Okay, Genesis…how it all started.” “The Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler made this beautiful garden, see, and he set up a restaurant; called it the Hong Kong Gardens.” “So he made his first customer a young man; he was hangin’ out in back, got everything he wanted, 3 kinds of pizza…everything.” “So The Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler sends along a dame; supposed to keep him company.” “So one day she's lookin’ at the corns on her left foot,

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1:00

Empty Space Helmets

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/21

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “Re-imagine! Code word for nuts!” “They're not goin'…they're gone. They blasted off for Pluto and the Moon. These rangers have empty space helmets.” “Reality is here, right here.” “The streets of Benson Hurst, that’s reality.” “All those border crossing bums sleepin’ along Kosciusko Street, that’s reality.” “Kids, stone cold dead from shootin’ poison in their arms, that’s reality.” “Make no mistake, everything out there is being

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1:00

Reimagining Reality

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/20

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “All right…so like I said at the start, we're gonna examine our thinking apparatus…” “Usually we'd see that the armature sprocket is causing interference which in turn causes the combustion line to interfere with the flow of the dynaflow.” “That wasn't the problem, so we looked inside their head and we found nothin'” “Alright...you knew that one was comin'” “But look, this is so simple you're not gonna believe it

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1:00

No Deserters in This Army

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/19

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “You guys got a lot of spunk! but I got a confession to make.” “The Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler told us from the start "there will be no deserters in this army" “But that's exactly what I did…” “I watched these thieves steal our freedoms one by one, and I didn’t do anything...I just hoped someone else would.” “The evil one only has one purpose, to capture us one by one so we join HIS side. And he'll never quit, so we

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1:00

Advance to Freedom or Retreat to Slavery?

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/18

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “Brothers, there is nothing, NOTHING that the left hates more than YOUR freedom!” “Every time you say yes to them you say no to your independence. Are you gonna retreat into the darkness of slavery or advance - advance into the sunshine of freedom?” “I say advance!” “They work for US...WE are their employers. They can’t bark orders at us! We give the orders! They TAKE the orders.” “And they will address us with a civil tongue! We say boomf,

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1:00

President Joe Fensterbliden’s Wink

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/15

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “So how ‘bout your commander-and- thief (president) Joe Fensterbliden?” “He certainly is a treasure. Talk about woke...he ain't woke, he's sleep walking with his Captain Video space helmet on!” “He slipped on a banana peel, fell right into a manhole.” “Tried to climb out, thought he grabbed a rope, cut off his air supply instead!” “Been on a permanent vacation at Fred’s Landing ever since.” “He did see the snake in his tent, he

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1:00

Born to be Supremacists

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/14

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “Richard the Chicken-hearted who feels with a feathered glove, but is obsessed with power and control…and your skin color, and your race, and your sex.” “These are communists. They are Marxists. They are total supremacists.” “I don’t know...do they mean to be mean? Maybe they were just born that way.” They hate Dr. Martin Luther King, they love Stalin.They hate freedom; they think you should be their slave.They love criminals, they hate the

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1:00

Birth of The Snowflake

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/13

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “Some people are never satisfied. Look in the Bible. Look what The Red One did when he was part of the angels up there, before the horns…” “All he did was complain...” “Ewww…how come the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler gives the orders? I don't wanna do what he says! How come I’m not in charge?” “Vroom! Down he goes, right into the garden.” “The birth of the snowflake.” “Ewww…how come I can’t look at Liberace when Carlos teaches me the

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1:00

Mental Block of Cement

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/12

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “And sweet-ums on the left over there wants you to think we- The International Order of Friendly Raccoons- are the bad guys and THEY'RE the nice guys.” “Boris Karloff seems like a nice guy when he’s dancing on the Red Skeleton show.” “I don’t know WHY we put up with this…why don't they see a psychiatrist, talk to a minister, take some headache powder, some aspirin, say pins and needles, needles and pins, but stop makin' everyone

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1:00

Emergency Lodge Meeting: We Took Stock

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/11

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “Ya think maybe they’d take stock of themselves once in a while? They're not taking stock, they're stalking!” “So we had an emergency lodge meeting and made a list of all their good points and bad points. Here's where there’s trouble…get a load of some of these:” -race addiction-sex addiction-can’t define what a woman is-2 plus 2 can equal 5-babies lives don’t matter-they are coming for your water pistols and disintegrator

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1:00

The Sewers Ain’t Paradise

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/08

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “How we gonna help them when they cant think anymore? Don't they want to end up upstairs with the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler?” “It ain’t paradise down the sewers, and the manhole covers ain’t pizzas!” “Why would they choose to help the red guy with the tail and the pitchfork? That's what they're doing, isn’t it?” “The evil one is a sneak. He's a bluffer, but most of all, most of all he's an idiot! And when you

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1:00

The Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler

THE HONEYMOONERS WELCOMES RAT SKATES ·

2023/12/07

NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEKDAY 7:30PM (EST) ON THIS CHANNEL “They just can't get through their head: there is, there has been and always will be, a Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler. Emperor of all Racoondom.” “These commies don’t believe in anything, so anything goes. Even though we are all brothers under the pelt, we are NOT gonna coexist with these snakes.” “But, The Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler keeps ‘em around to teach us a lesson: so we know exactly what NOT to do.” “They're gonna be

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