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PODCAST

No Hair, All Heart

An American bald guy shares and discusses heartfelt experiences and tries to learn a thing or two along the way...

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

12:10

Blaming Ozzy Osbourne for Donald Trump

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/08/07

Ozzy Osbourne died recently, and is remembered as the GOAT of Heavy Metal—but nobody is blaming him for Donald Trump being president again. In this humorous "revisionist history" style solo episode of No Hair, All Heart, Mookie Spitz stitches together a wick cultural autopsy, tracing the lineage from reality TV trailblazer The Osbournes to Trump’s The Apprentice, and from there straight to the heart of MAGA madness. Did Ozzy unwittingly create the template for ego-fueled, camera-hungry, truth...

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8:25

Gorilla in the Kitchen: Why Lovers Shouldn't Live...

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/08/04

In this raw and funny solo episode of No Hair All Heart, Mookie Spitz tackles the age-old relationship question: should lovers live together? Spoiler alert—don’t. Drawing on a disastrous cohabitation attempt with a girlfriend, Mookie recounts how spilled coffee, scattered silverware, and his “gorilla in the kitchen” energy nearly torpedoed their romance. Mookie digs deeper into why cohabitation is not the harmless “next step” couples are told it is. He argues that living together isn’t just s...

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10:00

Reluctant Lazarus

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/30

Mookie Spitz dives back into the dark days when HIV meant a death sentence, and surviving wasn’t part of the plan. Laz was ready to die—he even made peace with it. Laz partied like every day was his last, found freedom in letting go—then had to pick up the pieces when the world refused to let him go quietly. The drugs kicked in, flipped the script, and dumped him back into life he didn’t ask for. Suddenly, the man who found meaning in dying had to figure out how to live again. The paradox is ...

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6:29

Our Friend & Heroin Addict

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/30

In this harrowing episode of No Hair All Heart, Mookie Spitz tells the raw and unflinching story of Kristine—a friend, an addict, and a haunting presence that lingers long after her final plea for help. Kristine's life is consumed by ritual. Her addiction is not chaos but a dark science: the precision of a chemist, the devotion of a priest, and the relentless drive of someone who lives only to escape. Her world shrinks to a single transaction—needle to vein, vein to brain—until everything els...

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11:56

Sighing on the Dotted Line: Reading from #JFTRE32

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/29

Mookie Spitz dives into the final section of Episode III, page 200 of his new sci-fi novel, Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine, where fragile alliances and clashing egos set the tone. Jonnie Fazoolie, a shameless hustler with just enough charm to keep his schemes afloat, lures Dr. Amaranth Floyd—a weary, sharp-minded physicist—into his universe-jumping gamble. Their relationship is a cocktail of manipulation and reluctant respect: Jonnie pushes too hard, jokes too much, an...

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6:18

Rob's Astro Boy T-Shirt

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/29

In this episode of No Hair All Heart, host Mookie Spitz dives into the haunting legend of Jade Michiko—a woman whose life is a cycle of rebellion, disappearance, and fleeting freedom. Jade, the daughter of Japanese wealth and control, breaks away from her gilded cage to wander the world in search of her own salvation. Her journey takes her through Asia, the Middle East, and Europe, before she finally lands in the rave-soaked chaos of New York City. There, among drag queens and powder he...

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9:57

Hiss & Make Up: Reading from #JFTRE31

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/28

Mookie Spitz narrates a turning point in his new sci-fi novel Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine where Fazoolie’s illusory swagger collides with Dr. Casey Floyd’s unfiltered, ASD brilliance. What begins as a tense standoff quickly spirals into a chaotic dance of intellect and ego. Their conversation crackles with intensity and awkward reconciliation of sorts. Jonnie, ever the bullshitter, pitches his vision with the confidence of a snake-oil salesman: “Do you think we c...

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17:58

Fighting Solves Everything: Reading from #JFTRE30

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/27

Mookie reads again from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine, as this scene erupts into violence: Dr. Amaranth Casey Floyd unleashes a relentless assault on Jonnie, fists hammering kidneys and spleen until he’s buried beneath an avalanche of office debris. BS, Jonnie’s black cat with white mittens, watches like an indifferent judge while Casey stands triumphant. But this is no ordinary beatdown—it’s a confrontation where physical blows mirror the deeper fractures between them,...

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28:32

My Grandfather's Gold Watch

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/26

When a box of century-old photographs and letters arrives on his doorstep, Mookie Spitz opens more than just a package—he opens a door to the ghosts of his Hungarian Jewish ancestry. In this intimate solo episode, Mookie takes listeners through a visceral journey: the chemical decay of daguerreotypes, the haunted eyes of relatives he’s never met, and the absurdity of placing meaning on objects that ultimately mean nothing—except for the meaning we assign them. Drawing on Pulp Fiction’s legend...

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16:42

Hiring & Firing: Reading from #JFTRE29

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/26

Jonnie Fazoolie’s latest venture is teetering on the edge of collapse. Fertile Descent LLC — his latest paper tiger of a company — needs more than smoke, mirrors, and Jonnie’s mile-wide grin to stay afloat. To pull off the scam of his career, he decides to bring in someone who can actually do the work: a real scientist with credentials so heavy they could sink him. That’s when Dr. Amaranth “Casey” Floyd walks through the rickety door. Short, stocky, and carrying the weight of an enormous Afro...

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12:44

Striking Out: Reading from #JFTRE28

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/25

Jonnie Fazoolie is back—and this time, he’s pitching nonsense harder than ever. In this chaotic reading the conman-entrepreneur is on the hunt for his next big break: a bogus startup that will make him the next pet rock millionaire. Fueled by ego, Adderall, and pure delusion, Johnny cold-calls investors, annoys strangers, and dreams up inventions nobody needs—while convincing himself he’s a visionary. Between scam pitches to adult film stars, vending machine moguls, and even particle physicis...

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15:19

Full Body Axial Rotation: Reading from #JFTRE27

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/24

In this audacious and darkly comic installment, Mookie Spitz performs the 27th reading from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine, delivering a razor-sharp satire of tech hype, startup culture, gendered power games, and the delusional grandeur of would-be visionaries. Penny’s back in Jersey City with rebo-teeth, an estrogen throne, and a plan. She’s rising through the ranks at Fauxbes publishing, weaponizing charm and snark to manipulate a tribe of code-drunk incels and gay gee...

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20:14

Stoned Cold Sober: Reading from #JFTRE26

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/24

Mookie Spitz reads Section 26 of Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine — a psychedelic fever dream disguised as a love story wrapped inside a tech satire. As Jonnie attempts the impossible feat of staying sober, he fantasizes about a stable life with Penny Pitz, the one woman who’s both his salvation and his torment. But Penny’s not playing along — she’s too busy blacking out, waking up in cubes and clubs, and getting hit on by coworkers who read too much Manosphere Reddi...

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19:15

Sweat Home Chicago: Reading from #JFTRE25

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/22

Back in his busted-up Chicago office, Jonnie is broke, hungover, lawsuit-ridden—and somehow still dreaming big. In this episode of No Hair All Heart, Mookie Spitz reads from the 25th section of Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine, diving into a surreal, satirical sci-fi tale of stolen ideas, doomed romance, multiversal chaos, and one washed-up anti-hero's cosmic delusions. As Jonnie flips through a suspiciously familiar graphic novel found at the airport—a book that suspiciou...

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53:58

Hating Mondays: Reading from #JFTRE24

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/22

In this deep-space detour from the grit and satire of earlier chapters, Mookie Spitz reads from the first section of Episode 3: The Band, as the narrative swerves into philosophical "hard" science fiction—and doesn’t look back. Enter Kreo Bonzai: an arachnid genius scientist and misanthropic slacker who built “the Jar,” a 10-meter cylinder powered by the pulse of a magnetar and capable of instantiating everything that ever was, is, or could be. Not simulated. Not rendered. Instantiated—...

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21:03

Puss in Cahoots: Reading from #JFTRE23

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/20

Mookie Spitz reads the final section of Episode 2: The Bet from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine, and things are looking up for a change. Pressured, broke, and surrounded by bad decisions, Jonnie makes a rare, dangerous choice: he’s going all-in on his bet with the sexy German dominatrix scientist. Half-scam, half-breakthrough, and fully his last shot. But for the first time in forever, he’s not just running—he’s inspired. Fired up. Hopeful, even. And he carries that stran...

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15:43

Bathroom Blitz: Reading from #JFTRE22

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/19

Jonnie has crashed, landing rock bottom. Waking up poolside with no memory of the science demo that knocked him out—and possibly changed everything—Johnny is broke, alone, and unraveling fast. His startup scam LLC has flatlined. His love life’s a smoldering wreck. And now his mind’s starting to go, too. His brief, electric connection with Basine Felderhossen—scientist, dominatrix, and the only person who seemed to see through his narcissistic fog—ends as quickly as it began. She’s comatose, t...

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16:59

Guest Appearance: Reading from #JFTRE21

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/19

In this chaotic entry from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine, Jonnie loses the only person anchoring him to something resembling purpose: His latest infatuation, the hot German dominatrix scientist Basine is rolled out of the Cosmology and String Theory Conference on a stretcher, vacant-eyed and limp, as Mexican police clear the scene like it's a crime—or maybe an exorcism. Jonnie, desperate and disoriented, leans in for a kiss that does nothing but confirm she's gone. Not ...

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19:23

Every Color You Lick: Reading from #JFTRE20

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/18

Jonnie Fazoolie is flat on his back—literally and financially—after placing blind faith in a crypto hacker who’s less a person and more a full-body hallucination. Sato isn’t just a black-hat savant: he’s a living fever dream of sensory overload, a human glitch in the matrix who codes not by logic but by intuition, emotion, and synesthetic chaos. Smells trigger algorithms, colors become encryption keys, and the rules of cybercrime bend around him like magnetic fields. As Jonnie reels from losi...

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25:09

Ransoming the Crypto: Reading from #JFTRE19

No Hair, All Heart ·

2025/07/17

In this section the con from Jonnie Fazoolie & the Transfinite Reality Engine gets cannibalistic. Our antihero Jonnie is sweating bullets in the lobby of a Mexican casino, cornered by creditors, stalked by feds, and hanging everything on a Hail Mary: regaining access to a Bitcoin stash he bought for peanuts back in 2011… and promptly locked himself out of. Enter Sato, a pint-sized Japanese hacker with drag flair, linguistic mischief, and a gift for manipulating reality—and peopl...

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93 results

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