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PODCAST

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

Janna Denton-Howes: Marriage Coach | Sex Educator | Low Libido Expert

Doing It Together is about empowering women and men to heal from cultural messages so that they can discover true pleasure and connection in their sexual relationship and marriage. This podcast addresses the common dynamic in a heterosexual relationship in which the wife doesn’t want and enjoy sex and the husband does.Too often, the focus is placed on labels like “low libido” and “low sex drive” without addressing the root issues including physical and emotional safety, shame, porn use,

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

00:35:10

Empowered or Objectified? 90's Girl Power Through...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/07/09

Andrea, now 37, grew up in the 1990s, shaped by the influence of pop icons like Britney Spears and the Spice Girls. Back then, “girl power” looked like tube tops, perfect hair, and using every ounce of energy to grab—and most importantly, keep—the attention of boys.As a teenager, Andrea poured her focus into chasing male approval. But when the attention finally came, and kissing or more was expected to maintain it, the magic disappeared. The chase felt exhausting, and the physical side of things

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00:48:25

A 20-Year Journey Through Painful Intimacy - with...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/07/02

In Part 2 of her episode, Shannon opens up about the next chapter of her story. After meeting her husband, she eagerly took the lead in their relationship—from their first kiss to exploring intimacy together. Remaining a virgin until marriage was deeply important to her, so they waited until their wedding night to have intercourse.But the moment she had waited for her entire life turned out to be excruciatingly painful—and the pain didn’t go away. For two years, Shannon silently endured, until she

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00:33:14

From Purity Promises to Parenting With Truth - with...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/06/25

Shannon grew up in a conservative Christian household during the 1990s, at the height of the purity culture movement. At just 14 years old, she signed a contract pledging to remain a virgin until marriage.Now, Shannon shares what she was taught during that time, how she navigated the strict “rules” meant to preserve her so-called purity, and how those experiences have shaped the way she now talks to her 10-year-old daughter—especially in light of what she’s learned from Janna.Janna's Wanting It More

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01:02:20

Why You Don’t Know What You Like And How To Figure It...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/06/17

Jess and her husband went through a slow but steady decline in intimacy, eventually reaching a point where they hadn't had sex for years. While her husband assumed she had no interest, Jess thought about it constantly—carrying deep feelings of shame and guilt. They never spoke about it, and Jess felt completely stuck, unsure of how to move forward.Then Jess discovered Janna’s podcast. She listened quietly for over a year before she ever mentioned it to her husband. She was drawn to Janna’s Wanting

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00:39:05

What Happened to the Spark? A Journey Through...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/06/10

In the second part of Kate’s story, we discover what shifted in her marriage that caused her once-strong sexual desire to disappear—and why sex became a low priority in her relationship.When Kate started dating her future husband, she worried the passion might fade. But to her relief, it didn’t. Their sex life remained fun, exciting, and free of guilt. Everything changed, however, after they had children.Following the birth of their second child, Kate found herself constantly exhausted. While sex

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00:29:24

Shame-Free Sexual Freedom, Then Something Changed -...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/06/04

Kate’s story differs from many shared on this podcast. She was raised by atheist parents in a non-religious household. Although sex was never talked about, she educated herself by stealing books about sex from her grandmother’s library.In her 20’s, she was part of the slam poetry scene and she and her friends “slept around a lot” having fun and feeling completely free of shame or guilt. When she met her future husband, she refused to officially date him for well over a year, because they were having

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00:54:35

Details of a Sex Life Two Years Post Doing It...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/05/27

If you’ve been curious about what the concepts of Doing It Together can do for your sex life and marriage in the long term, this is the episode for you! Justin and Sandra, married for 19 years, took Doing It Together two years ago and they graciously share VERY specific details about what their relationship and sex life look like now. They open up about how they’ve learned to talk, play, remain curious, and change things up through life’s ups and downs.They also share how their marriage has changed

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00:47:35

Answering Questions From Men & Women About Doing It...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/05/20

Janna answers questions she's received from men and women about her Doing It Together program.Questions include:• I’ve never had a sex drive—not even before marriage. Will this program help me?• My husband is a good guy. What if the problem really is just me?• What if I already tried therapy, supplements, hormones, books, scheduling sex… and nothing worked?• Is this the end of sex as I know it?• Can you guarantee this will work? The next round of Doing It Together is open for registration! Get $300

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00:55:49

The Most Effective Way A Man Can Help His Wife With...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/05/13

In part two of Janna’s conversation with Ryan, he opens up about his decision to wait until marriage to have sex—a choice rooted in a desire to escape the guilt he’d carried for most of his life. While the experience was fine at first, their intimacy gradually faded. Over time, Ryan began to feel isolated and deeply unloved. Determined to fix their relationship, he turned to podcasts and books for advice. But as his frustration grew, he found himself blaming his wife for not putting in the same

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00:31:26

Growing up with God, Google & Guilt - with Ryan (Part...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/05/06

In Part 1 of Ryan’s story, he opens up about his early experiences learning about sex—lessons that came in crude form on the school bus, mixed messages from his Christian upbringing, and early exposure to internet pornography. This exposure led to an addiction that left him feeling trapped and overwhelmed with guilt. Ryan shares what it took for him to finally reach out for help, and the powerful lesson he learned about the importance of listening without judgment.Tune in next week for the rest of

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00:40:25

Overcoming Emotional Distance in Long-Term Marriage -...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/04/29

At 62, Bill has been married to his wife for 32 years. They waited until marriage to become intimate, but soon after discovered she had endometriosis, a condition that made intercourse painful and unfulfilling. As a result, she began to withdraw—avoiding physical affection and emotional affirmation to steer clear of intimacy. Meanwhile, Bill deeply missed the emotional closeness they had shared during their dating years.Over time, resentment and frustration took root. The emotional disconnect

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00:37:46

How to Schedule Sex and Not Dread the Date - with...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/04/22

I’m continuing my powerful conversation with Carey from last week. If you haven’t heard that episode yet, I highly recommend going back to Episode 142 to catch up—she opened up so vulnerably about her 30-year marriage and the challenges she’s faced with intimacy over the years.In this episode, Carey shares how her entire understanding of sex has evolved, the hard truths she and her husband had to confront together, and how their intimate life looks completely different now—in ways that might

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00:37:55

How Early Messages About Sex Distort Intimacy in...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/04/15

In this honest and vulnerable two-part episode, Carey shares the hidden struggles she faced with intimacy throughout her 30-year marriage while raising seven children.At just nine years old, Carey was exposed to adult magazines that distorted her understanding of intimacy. By 13, she found herself in relationships where intimacy felt more like something expected of her than something she chose.Married at 21 while still finishing school, she quickly began to see sex and intimacy as a burden—an

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00:56:09

REAIR: How Men Can Rethink Their Roles To Support...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/04/08

In this reair of Ep. 111, Janna chats with Michael Kaufman, the author of The Time Has Come: Why Men Must Join the Gender Equality Revolution. Michael, a renowned advisor, activist, and keynote speaker, shares his insights on how traditional male roles in the bedroom and beyond often don’t benefit women. They dive into why it's crucial for men to confront their own privilege and engage in open dialogues about gender equality.Michael also discusses the rapid shifts in societal roles for both men and

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00:50:14

Breaking Free from Decades of Pain and Pushing...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/04/01

Romance novels promised Amy that her man would always know exactly what to do. The church assured her that sex would be wonderful once she was married. But when her first wedding night was filled with pain instead of pleasure, she was shocked.And the pain never went away. Over the course of her 30-year marriage, it evolved from undiagnosed endometriosis to rheumatoid arthritis to menopause. She felt exhausted, dismissed, and unhappy, but continued to push herself to be intimate with her

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01:14:30

How to Overcome Fear to Have Honest Conversations...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/03/25

One of the most common questions we get is: "How do I talk to my kids about sex?" In today’s episode, Janna sits down with her teammates, Melissa C. and Melissa W., to discuss how they approach these conversations with their kids, whose ages range from 6 to 21.They share stories from their own childhoods, reflecting on how they navigated these topics largely on their own, and the education they wish they had received. The conversation touches on the fears they had to overcome to talk openly with

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00:32:47

One Year Update After Taking Doing It Together - with...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/03/18

It’s been a year since Chris and his wife of 21 years took the Doing It Together course, and he’s here to give an honest update on how things are going.For two decades, Chris and his wife struggled with intimacy, trying everything they could think of to improve their connection. From counseling and self-help books to even participating in a university sex study, they explored every option. Despite their efforts, nothing seemed to work. Chris found himself spiraling with thoughts like, “Is she

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00:54:20

Why Low Libido Is a Couple’s Issue, Not Just Hers to...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/03/11

Luke and his wife have been married for 25 years and have struggled with sex through most of that time. Things changed after kids and his wife experienced post-partum depression. Her libido plumeted and didn’t come back. Luke took the stance that this was her problem to solve and waited for years for her to 'fix' herself.It wasn’t until they found Janna and the Doing It Together program that Luke learned how big of a role he played in the lack of intimacy in their relationship. He shares what he’s

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01:08:36

Escaping the Constraints of Traditional Gender Roles...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/03/04

Janna discovered Jaime and Josh through their shared Instagram profile, @marriageishappening, and was so moved by their marriage story that she invited them to join her on the podcast.Married at 21 with four kids soon after, they initially adhered to traditional gender roles—Jaime stayed at home while Josh worked outside the house. Jaime, an extrovert, describes early parenthood as a time filled with "shock and horror." She found herself isolated in a basement suite with no help, limited adult

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00:41:50

Are You Truly Listening to What Your Partner Is...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/02/25

Keith continues his story from Episode 134, diving deeper into his experience of starting the Doing It Together (DIT) program with his wife. Having gone through his own therapy, Keith thought he was way ahead of the game when he began DIT. However, he quickly realized the role he played in his relationship dynamic was much more complex than he had originally thought. In this episode, Keith shares the valuable lessons he learned about processing emotions, truly listening to and understanding his

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