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PODCAST

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

Janna Denton-Howes: Marriage Coach | Sex Educator | Low Libido Expert

Doing It Together is about empowering women and men to heal from cultural messages so that they can discover true pleasure and connection in their sexual relationship and marriage. This podcast addresses the common dynamic in a heterosexual relationship in which the wife doesn’t want and enjoy sex and the husband does.Too often, the focus is placed on labels like “low libido” and “low sex drive” without addressing the root issues including physical and emotional safety, shame, porn use,

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

00:38:38

IVF, Intimacy, and the Breaking Point That Changed...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/09/09

In Part 2 of Reese’s episode, he opens up about the emotional rollercoaster of trying for children, including multiple rounds of IVF and the strain it placed on intimacy in his marriage. Disconnected from his feelings, he carried a lot of anger and tension, making everything feel heavy and difficult.After reaching a breaking point, Reese stumbled across Janna’s podcast during a late-night search. For the first time, he heard other men share their struggles with intimacy in marriage, and their

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00:31:39

Secrets, Screens, and the Struggle for Real...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/09/02

Reese learned at a young age that secrets stay safe behind locked doors. When he discovered adult images online, what started as curiosity quickly turned into a regular habit—and soon, a strong screen addiction took hold.Over time, the influence of these images began shaping how he viewed relationships with women. He became fixated on unrealistic performance expectations, while true emotional connection slipped further and further out of reach.Caught in a cycle of shame and pressure, Reese had no

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00:37:31

The Wake-Up Call That Changed His Marriage - with...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/08/19

In Part 2 of David’s story, he opens up about the early days of his marriage and the life event that triggered a sharp decline in their sex life. He remembers feeling lonely but not fully understanding why. Although he and his wife had many conversations about what she was experiencing, her perspective never quite clicked for him.That changed when she began listening to Janna’s podcast and finally found the words to explain what she was feeling. Once David started listening to other people’s

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00:39:33

How a Psychotherapist Came to Understand His Own...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/08/12

David, a Mexican American, grew up navigating the influence of two cultures—his Hispanic, Catholic upbringing and the American, white culture around him. He describes his Hispanic roots as warm, physical, and affectionate, yet completely silent when it came to conversations about sex. While his parents assured him he could talk to them about anything, the unspoken rule was clear: sex was a taboo topic.At just eight years old, David discovered his father’s hidden pornography stash. That early

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00:46:59

Why Safety Matters More Than Libido - with Natalie |...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/08/08

When Natalie met her husband, they clicked instantly. After marriage, their sex life was good at first, but over time her desire began to fade. Things worsened after having kids—she describes her husband’s advances as “feeling like another need to fill.” He urged her to “fix” her low libido, but deep down, she knew it wasn’t her hormones that needed repairing. Something felt off, though she couldn’t quite pinpoint it—she just knew his advances left her feeling gross and cringy.Around this time,

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00:34:09

The Real Reason Sex Started to Feel Off - with John...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/07/29

In Part 2 of John’s story, he shares how he met his wife online and how quickly their relationship progressed. They moved in together almost immediately, and he describes their sex life early on as “frequent, enjoyable, and exciting.” But over time, the honeymoon phase faded. Their sexual connection began to feel like something they should do, rather than something they wanted to do.Even though they shared a deep emotional bond, John started questioning whether he was in the right relationship. He

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00:34:57

Exploring the Backlash of Performance Anxiety - with...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/07/22

As a teenager, John felt uneasy about the new sensations of arousal in his changing body. He wasn’t sure how to handle them, which led to persistent discomfort, performance anxiety, and awkward early attempts at intimacy with girls.During his university years, John moved past some of his self-doubt—but his behavior in relationships took a troubling turn. He describes feeling like he was “trying to make up for lost time,” and admits he didn’t treat his girlfriends with the respect they deserved. Even

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00:33:48

Healing The Secret Strain in a Picture-Perfect...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/07/15

When Andrea met her husband, they shared an instant connection. She describes their early intimacy as “fun, easy, and pressure-free.” But after they got married, things began to shift. Sex became complicated, and Andrea started to wonder if something was wrong with her. She found herself checking the calendar, counting the days, and feeling her anxiety grow.On the outside, their relationship looked perfect—but behind closed doors, the tension was building. They tried individual counseling, couples

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00:35:10

Empowered or Objectified? 90's Girl Power Through...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/07/09

Andrea, now 37, grew up in the 1990s, shaped by the influence of pop icons like Britney Spears and the Spice Girls. Back then, “girl power” looked like tube tops, perfect hair, and using every ounce of energy to grab—and most importantly, keep—the attention of boys.As a teenager, Andrea poured her focus into chasing male approval. But when the attention finally came, and kissing or more was expected to maintain it, the magic disappeared. The chase felt exhausting, and the physical side of things

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00:48:25

A 20-Year Journey Through Painful Intimacy - with...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/07/02

In Part 2 of her episode, Shannon opens up about the next chapter of her story. After meeting her husband, she eagerly took the lead in their relationship—from their first kiss to exploring intimacy together. Remaining a virgin until marriage was deeply important to her, so they waited until their wedding night to have intercourse.But the moment she had waited for her entire life turned out to be excruciatingly painful—and the pain didn’t go away. For two years, Shannon silently endured, until she

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00:33:14

From Purity Promises to Parenting With Truth - with...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/06/25

Shannon grew up in a conservative Christian household during the 1990s, at the height of the purity culture movement. At just 14 years old, she signed a contract pledging to remain a virgin until marriage.Now, Shannon shares what she was taught during that time, how she navigated the strict “rules” meant to preserve her so-called purity, and how those experiences have shaped the way she now talks to her 10-year-old daughter—especially in light of what she’s learned from Janna.Janna's Wanting It More

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01:02:20

Why You Don’t Know What You Like And How To Figure It...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/06/17

Jess and her husband went through a slow but steady decline in intimacy, eventually reaching a point where they hadn't had sex for years. While her husband assumed she had no interest, Jess thought about it constantly—carrying deep feelings of shame and guilt. They never spoke about it, and Jess felt completely stuck, unsure of how to move forward.Then Jess discovered Janna’s podcast. She listened quietly for over a year before she ever mentioned it to her husband. She was drawn to Janna’s Wanting

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00:39:05

What Happened to the Spark? A Journey Through...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/06/10

In the second part of Kate’s story, we discover what shifted in her marriage that caused her once-strong sexual desire to disappear—and why sex became a low priority in her relationship.When Kate started dating her future husband, she worried the passion might fade. But to her relief, it didn’t. Their sex life remained fun, exciting, and free of guilt. Everything changed, however, after they had children.Following the birth of their second child, Kate found herself constantly exhausted. While sex

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00:29:24

Shame-Free Sexual Freedom, Then Something Changed -...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/06/04

Kate’s story differs from many shared on this podcast. She was raised by atheist parents in a non-religious household. Although sex was never talked about, she educated herself by stealing books about sex from her grandmother’s library.In her 20’s, she was part of the slam poetry scene and she and her friends “slept around a lot” having fun and feeling completely free of shame or guilt. When she met her future husband, she refused to officially date him for well over a year, because they were having

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00:54:35

Details of a Sex Life Two Years Post Doing It...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/05/27

If you’ve been curious about what the concepts of Doing It Together can do for your sex life and marriage in the long term, this is the episode for you! Justin and Sandra, married for 19 years, took Doing It Together two years ago and they graciously share VERY specific details about what their relationship and sex life look like now. They open up about how they’ve learned to talk, play, remain curious, and change things up through life’s ups and downs.They also share how their marriage has changed

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00:47:35

Answering Questions From Men & Women About Doing It...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/05/20

Janna answers questions she's received from men and women about her Doing It Together program.Questions include:• I’ve never had a sex drive—not even before marriage. Will this program help me?• My husband is a good guy. What if the problem really is just me?• What if I already tried therapy, supplements, hormones, books, scheduling sex… and nothing worked?• Is this the end of sex as I know it?• Can you guarantee this will work? The next round of Doing It Together is open for registration! Get $300

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00:55:49

The Most Effective Way A Man Can Help His Wife With...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/05/13

In part two of Janna’s conversation with Ryan, he opens up about his decision to wait until marriage to have sex—a choice rooted in a desire to escape the guilt he’d carried for most of his life. While the experience was fine at first, their intimacy gradually faded. Over time, Ryan began to feel isolated and deeply unloved. Determined to fix their relationship, he turned to podcasts and books for advice. But as his frustration grew, he found himself blaming his wife for not putting in the same

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00:31:26

Growing up with God, Google & Guilt - with Ryan (Part...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/05/06

In Part 1 of Ryan’s story, he opens up about his early experiences learning about sex—lessons that came in crude form on the school bus, mixed messages from his Christian upbringing, and early exposure to internet pornography. This exposure led to an addiction that left him feeling trapped and overwhelmed with guilt. Ryan shares what it took for him to finally reach out for help, and the powerful lesson he learned about the importance of listening without judgment.Tune in next week for the rest of

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00:40:25

Overcoming Emotional Distance in Long-Term Marriage -...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/04/29

At 62, Bill has been married to his wife for 32 years. They waited until marriage to become intimate, but soon after discovered she had endometriosis, a condition that made intercourse painful and unfulfilling. As a result, she began to withdraw—avoiding physical affection and emotional affirmation to steer clear of intimacy. Meanwhile, Bill deeply missed the emotional closeness they had shared during their dating years.Over time, resentment and frustration took root. The emotional disconnect

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00:37:46

How to Schedule Sex and Not Dread the Date - with...

Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex,... ·

2025/04/22

I’m continuing my powerful conversation with Carey from last week. If you haven’t heard that episode yet, I highly recommend going back to Episode 142 to catch up—she opened up so vulnerably about her 30-year marriage and the challenges she’s faced with intimacy over the years.In this episode, Carey shares how her entire understanding of sex has evolved, the hard truths she and her husband had to confront together, and how their intimate life looks completely different now—in ways that might

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174 results

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