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PODCAST

Smeared Mascara

Smeared Mascara Podcast

"Laugh with us, cry with us, smear your mascara with us."This podcast is hosted by longtime friends, Mandy and Brooke who have been born and bred in the San Francisco Bay Area. These ladies love themselves some pop culture and drama which probably stems from their latchkey kid beginnings. Their main news source is social media but their strong opinions always find their way into the conversation. The topics are fueled by unmedicated ADHD and the language is always spicy. So sit back and listen to

society & culture personal journals

All Episodes

62:18

Coachella - Week 1

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/04/16

Send us a text Put on your shorty shorts and your flower crown because we’re headed to Coachella! Actually Brooke and Mandy are reporting about Coachella via social media. Did you really expect these babes to travel during the school year? In this economy? The ladies hypothesize the logistics of possible festival hookups, and navigating the desert landscape in a wheelchair. Brooke tells us about her return to the softball fields, and Mandy gives us her honest review of the movie Fre...

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83:51

Bachlorette, Protest, and White Lotus

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/04/10

Send us a text **This episode contains SPOILERS for the season 3 finale of White Lotus** This week Brooke and Mandy talk about the nationwide protest that took place over the weekend. The signs were signing and the people are pissed. Mandy spills the tea about a bachelorette party in wine country. Lessons were learned, and memories were made. Both ladies give their opinions about the last episode of The White Lotus. What should have happened, what could have happened, and what really happened...

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72:05

Eat Your Cannolis

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/04/03

Send us a text This episode is popping with pop culture. Brooke and Mandy have a mature discussion about appendages and Italian desserts. The ladies also talk about the challenges of raising Gen Z-ers, “remixing” your life, and their current favorite streaming shows. This is definitely not the episode to listen with your kids or conservative friends. It’s giving the sex, drugs and HBO MAX vibe. So stop doom scrolling and start listening to the latest installment of Smeared Mascara! Ti...

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46:27

She Doesn't Even Go Here

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/03/26

Send us a text Have you ever accidentally texted the wrong person? We absolutely have. Have you ever accidentally added a journalist to a super, ultra, mega confidential political message??? And then the journalist publishes the message? And THEN the White House press secretary gets involved???? Well Brooke and Mandy have never done that, but that would be totes embarrassing. Listen to the ladies discuss the latest in world news, pop culture, and colonoscopies. There is also mention of a pros...

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51:26

Oh Krackers!

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/03/18

Send us a text St. Patrick’s Day is a big deal in any city named Dublin. Mandy and Brooke experienced this holiday in their hometown like never before. What started out as a normal Saturday morning turned into an afternoon of lip syncing for their lives. Lucky for all involved, there is video footage. Put on anything green and set your leprechaun traps because you are now entering The Smeared Mascara Zone. Rated C for C#nty TikTok Instagram YouTube Channel

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68:43

Women’s Month BITCH

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/03/13

Send us a text This week Brooke and Mandy talk about the joys of being a woman and marvel at the amazing progress that we’ve made as a society and culture over the centuries. Then we bring it right back to reality remind ourselves of the dystopian society we are experiencing. Fight the power! The ladies discuss self worth and confidence along with churros and Lent. It’s time to get comfy and unwind with your favorite foul mouthed podcasters. Do good things and be a good person. Don’t fo...

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61:49

A Homage to Monica… Chalomeeett

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/03/04

Send us a text Welcome back to another episode of Smeared Mascara. Brooke and Mandy are trying a more structured and focused episode this week. We received some “constructive criticism” from some “fans” and were trying something new. There is talk of the Oscars, the red carpet, and the chisme. The ladies also express their newfound interest in a 90s political pariah/pop culture icon. Hint: Her name is frequently mentioned in rap lyrics. So get comfy like Adam Sandler and enjoy this epis...

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51:42

Rock n' Roll and Big City

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/02/27

Send us a text This week Brooke and Mandy rave about the Dsquared2 fashion show. Doechii and Naomi Campbell walked. No crumbs. A drag name for Brooke is being workshopped. Ideas for last names are being accepted. Drop us a text or email with your suggestions. The ladies are still mesmerized by Garbanzo the cat, and Walton Goggins’ teeth. Check out TikTok for Garbanzo and The White Lotus for the pearly whites. Fasten your seatbelt and store your carryon safely because this flight o...

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68:16

SNL 50

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/02/20

Send us a text This week’s episode of Smeared Mascara covers Saturday Night Live’s 50th Anniversary show. Of course Brooke and Mandy didn’t watch the entire 3 hour show. They watched clips on TikTok like normal people. Duh. Naturally there is discussion about our nation and opinions are shared about leadership. This shouldn’t be surprising to our regular listeners. Do you know us? There are many more topics covered like French Revolution kitty conditions and Lisa Rinna’s haircut. ...

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93:39

Kendrick’s Super Bowl

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/02/14

Send us a text Welcome to Smeared Mascara’s annual Super Bowl Monday show. The ladies gloss over the actual game and focus on the Half Time performance. They delve into Jalen Hurts’ 90s R&B style, Kendrick’s outfit and Mustard’s real name. Learn about Sza’s other talent and why Serena Williams is the Crip Walk Queen. Mandy pretends to be a sports reporter and gives us the very basics about NBA All Star Weekend. Contract chasers, be prepared. Brooke explains her st...

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99:44

Kenny’s Here!

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/02/07

Send us a text Walk the virtual red carpet with Brooke and Mandy! The slaydies discuss the Grammy Awards fashion and chisme. Of course they didn’t watch the broadcast. This piece of quality journalism is fueled by TikTok. Make sure your face tape is on tight because the fast pace of this week’s conversation could cause a concussion. Tender ears need not listen because the language is vulgar. Would you expect anything else from these classy bitches? So kick off your shoes and relax your ...

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60:15

The Tiktok Ban

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/01/29

Send us a textJoin Brooke and Mandy as they ponder life under the new regime… ummm, presidency. How will they balance reality and delusion while surviving the next four years? Listen to how productive they were (or weren’t) during the TikTok Ban. Hopefully you didn’t delete the app.. Hear their latest recommendations on tv shows, podcasts and movies. Spoiler alert: Drag Queens and Vampire Peens are involved. Hope you’re well versed in college dance competitio...

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80:32

Grab 'em In The Biscuits

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/01/29

Send us a textWelcome back to your favorite pop culture podcast fueled by ADHD! Listen to the latest and greatest from Mandy and Brooke. In this episode, Mandy is obsessed with the runway video featuring Zaddy Newsome, and Brooke is setting boundaries while wheezing. How are these babes navigating the executive orders of 2025? To quote Dorina Medley, “Not well, bitch.” Serious topics like financial literacy and vaccines are discussed. Please do your research and ...

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66:33

Brown Flags

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/01/21

Send us a textSome of you may have noticed that there was no new episode last week. The LA fires and everything else in the world were too much for the ladies. There was a recording and it was unhinged. Never fear because Brooke and Mandy are back! They’re taking pop culture moments directly from TikTok and explaining their relevance to you. Hear how Spanx and handbags are the new coping mechanisms for 2025. Can you say snatched in style?There is major shade and cancellation being t...

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68:12

Clanuary

Smeared Mascara ·

2025/01/09

Send us a textThis episode was recorded on January 6, 2025. No masks or vaccines required. Certain constitutional rights are favored while others are disregarded. Don’t tread on my wall or my trad wife.Smeared Mascara officially rings in the new year with goals and positivity. Brooke and Mandy are working towards being authentic and confident beezies. Golden Globes fashion is discussed even though neither host watched the award show. Hooray for social media and modern journalism! Brooke ...

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83:05

Happy New Year Wanda!

Smeared Mascara ·

2024/12/31

Send us a textIn this week’s episode, Brooke and Mandy profess their love of Caleb Hearon and their disdain of bong rips in the city.Goals for 2025 are discussed briefly. The ADHD train quickly leaves the station and new topics are introduced like migraines, Ash Trevino, and Dave Chappell air fresheners. Join the ladies of Smeared Mascara in saying adios to 2024!Don’t forget to put ear muffs on the kiddies because as always, the language is inappropriate. You’re welcome. TikTokInsta...

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94:26

Bunch of Yappers

Smeared Mascara ·

2024/12/31

Send us a textIt’s a double shot of Smeared Mascara!Mandy is coming in HOT and Brooke is adding the lighter fluid to this inferno. Listen to the ladies talk about White Elephant gift exchange trauma, Christmas shopping, and holiday card conflict. Honorable mention to the Rage Poop discussion and Benny Blanco’s pedi game.Brooke talks about how the new year will bring new skincare and clothes resulting in the fiercest glow up, and possible hoe up. (Mandy’s words, not Brooke’s) Artificial t...

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72:19

Word On The Street

Smeared Mascara ·

2024/12/24

Send us a textJoin the ladies of Smeared Mascara as they discuss the latest in pop culture and their lives. They cover drones, Luigi Mangione, and High Body Count Hair.The language in this episode will probably get Brooke and Mandy on the Naughty List, but they’re used to empty stockings. Please listen with caution, duh.So ignore that tsunami warning and enjoy the latest episode of Smeared Mascara.TikTokInstagramYouTube Channel

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90:19

A Very Qualude Thanksgiving....Mandy's Shitty B-day...

Smeared Mascara ·

2024/12/10

Send us a textIt’s the most anticipated episode of the year. You’re invited to Mandy’s Shitty Birthday, Part 2. (Wondering about part one? Check out episode 10 of season 1.) There’s a chance that things may have improved from last year. You be the judge.Boundaries are being set around the Thanksgiving table this year, and lasagna is the new turkey. Pass the Tums.Listen as the ladies work through a real-time anxiety attack. Let us know if box breathing or touching grass has ever helped y...

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86:08

don't blink first #qualude

Smeared Mascara ·

2024/11/25

Send us a textWelcome back to your favorite podcast, Smeared Mascara. This episode contains a cornucopia of topics. There is something from everyone. Maybe? Probably. It’s an audio gift and there are no returns or exchanges.The ladies talk about Lula’s latest surgical procedure and how inspirational it is. Bitch is snatched and we love it! Brooke brings up Yacht Rock which naturally leads to a Michael McDonald/Kenny Loggins discussion and the rise and fall of their careers.Mandy gi...

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