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PODCAST

Savage Lovecast

Dan Savage, America"s only advice columnist, answers your sex and relationship questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to Q@Savage.Love, or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

51:16

Savage Lovecast Episode 981

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/08/19

A cute li'l gal worries she just isn't a very convincing dom. How can she use psychology to establish her sexy top role? A newly out pan man is ready to dive into gay culture. But he isn't quite ready to shave his pubes! Does he have to? On the Magnum, Dan chats with novelist and television writer Kashana Cauley. (Author of The Payback and The Survivalists.) They talk about the pleasure of dystopian novels in a dystopian present, on being a clotheshorse, the student debt crisis, setting

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52:06

Savage Lovecast Episode 980

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/08/12

"Not generous." That is what a gay man puts on his app profile to signify that he is not interested in sex workers. Is this offensive? Hear the heart-warming tale of how a woman spiced up her sex life by creating an Onlyfans account for only one fan- her husband. A gay man loves going to "gay island." It's a small gathering space in a river where queer folks can be together in a chill, clothing-optional way. But guess who is invading Gay Island! Straight families bring their kids to bask in the

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55:23

Savage Lovecast Episode 979

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/08/05

A woman is grappling with the dubious ethics of financial domination. Her friend asked her to do it, and she made a quick, easy $1k. But she knows that it is addictive and can ruin men's lives. Should she continue? A gay man is being bothered to distraction by his straight pal who teases and dominates him. They work together. Driven wild by lust, the caller worries that if he acknowledges the dynamic and shares his feelings, all will be lost. On the Magnum, the dog ate her vibrator. You heard

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43:24

Savage Lovecast Episode 978

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/07/29

While tidying up after some Airbnb guests, a gay man discovered a vibrator left under the pillow. Should he message the couple and offer to send it back, or would that be too embarrassing? One year ago, a woman called the show about her boyfriend, and Dan advised her to break up with him. But they are still together today, and the woman wonders if she should tell her boyfriend about the episode. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Melissa Febos- bestselling author of "The Dry Season: A Memoir of

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50:14

Savage Lovecast Episode 977

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/07/22

A woman's boyfriend wants her to drug him, have her way with him and share him with her friends. He did this before with an ex, and loved it. She's intrigued, but cautious. Should she do it? A straight man is miffed when women act like they want to meet for a second time, but then disappear. Aren't women violating the consent culture contract when they do this? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Arielle Domb- the intrepid journalist who visited a sex toy brothel in Berlin. Hear about her adventures

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51:48

Savage Lovecast Episode 976

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/07/15

The woman in a married couple that does not want children accidentally got pregnant. This happened once before, and she learned that her husband is against abortion on religious grounds. Should she tell him she will end this pregnancy, or keep it secret from him? Do accidents happen in BDSM? They sure do! Hear the harrowing tale of one man's consequential mistake. Dan brings on Australian kink educator "The Funny Dom" to talk this one through. On the Magnum, a woman's husband is recovering from

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51:07

Savage Lovecast Episode 975

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/07/08

A queer woman has a non-binary, AFAB spouse. Her partner can mime the action of cunnilingus with their tongue, flicking and teasing across the dinner table, like a horny lizard. The caller wishes she could do the same, but her tongue just doesn't work that way. She also gets low marks on her oral technique, and couldn't play the clarinet very well in school. Does she just have a bad tongue? Are there exercises she could do? A 52 year-old straight man was welcomed into a new friend group through

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55:29

Savage Lovecast Episode 974

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/07/01

A woman in her late 40s is struggling to process a relationship she had when she was in college. She slept with a former professor of hers but then got rejected by him. After she moved away, she arranged a visit with him, and got rejected again. Now, over 20 years later, she's wondering if his actions were unethical or inappropriate. We've gotten some tricky parenting questions in the past, but this one is extra-special. The caller is a new mother, and the 24/7 dom in a clothed female/naked male

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55:34

Savage Lovecast Episode 973

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/06/24

Her boyfriend of one year is perfect in every way! Except...he is stoned literally all the time. But he's a great lover, communicates well, and truly loves the caller. So is this really a problem? Will it be eventually? A gay man was raised Mormon, and got the hell out. Now he's living his best gay life, with a boyfriend he loves. But he never had a slutty phase, and worries that the only way to truly exorcise the Mormon mentality is to break free. On this week's show, Dan interviews Sacha

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50:37

Savage Lovecast Episode 972

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/06/17

We start the show with two calls concerning the "post nut" state of mind. One man hates that he becomes selfish and unresponsive so much that he chooses not to come at all. Another wonders if we should start calling it "post-nut confusion." Just in time for Pride, it's a new After-Action Report! Hear the tale of Ian- a straight man who gave a man head for the first time. What were the circumstances of this premier dick-sucking? Would he do it again? Listen in, and find out. On the Magnum, while

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57:19

Savage Lovecast Episode 971

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/06/10

When she was in high school, she surprised herself and delighted her boyfriend by squirting all over his face. But the incident alarmed her enough to set off a neurotic need to pee before every sexual encounter. How can she get out of her head about it, and allow for spontaneity in her current, awesome sex life? A woman is in an in a polyamorous, fantastic, committed relationship full of compersion. Sounds great right? The problem? When they get "activated" he tells her he needs to be with

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55:06

Savage Lovecast Episode 970

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/06/03

A married woman in a poly relationship is planning to visit a boyfriend who lives in a different city for a month. But since they made these plans, she started seeing yet another man. Should she tell the guy she plans to visit about the new guy? Should she do it before the trip so he can pull the rip cord if he needs to? Can you peg your dom? She is a switch, so she knows both sides of the dom/sub dynamic. Her dom wants her to peg him, but she worries she'll slip into dom mode. Dan coaches her

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45:41

Savage Lovecast Episode 969

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/05/27

A man in Nashville keeps having great dates, but then they reject him afterwards. Is it because he's a liberal Jew?A woman is in a new, fun, casual relationship, just like she wanted. But he will be moving away in a few months, so there's a clear end date. How can they enjoy themselves knowing the end is nigh? On the Magnum, put on your pink glasses...it's Randy Rainbow! Rainbow's political, musical theater-based parodies are what the world needs now, more than ever. He and Dan talk about his

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53:14

Savage Lovecast Episode 968

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/05/20

A man in a queer group chat saw that folks were talking about going to a bathhouse in their city for the first time. The caller explained what goes on there, how consent can be slushy, and trans men might not feel welcome. This shut down the conversation. Was he wrong to tell it like it is?A divorced woman with a 4 year old daughter is friendly with her ex-husband but not close. Her daughter is asking why mommy and daddy are not married and don't live together. She's never explained divorce to her

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54:43

Savage Lovecast Episode 967

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/05/13

HA man briefly dated a guy who only bottoms, and collects a variety of giant dildos. The caller worries that his natural size would never satisfy a man like this, and wonders if this is just the standard psychology of power bottoms. A straight woman tends to be attracted to gay and bisexual men, though she's never dated one. She would be interested in dating a bi man, but she requires monogamy, and worries that precious few bi men would be able to commit to her. Is it reasonable to ask a bi man

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55:37

Savage Lovecast Episode 966

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/05/06

Oh boy! A threesome might be brewing! A woman just connected with a hot guy through an app. He has another woman he sees, and the three of them plan to get together. But the caller is convinced that the other two are way more attractive than she is, and she worries she'll feel insecure and inadequate. How can she get over this stinkin' thinkin'?A woman has been in a casual friends-with-benefits relationship. The sex is fantastic. But then he started showing up less and less, and she discovered

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47:11

Savage Lovecast Episode 965

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/04/29

Ooh la la! A young Canadian woman has been living in a European city, making friends and... having group sex. She doesn't speak their language- her friends are usually accommodating and speak English around her. But sometimes when the gang is banging, they revert to their native tongue and she feels left out. Should she let it slide, or let her lovers know she needs dirty talk translation?A woman with high libido has always been monogamous...until now. She reconnected with an old friend who

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53:47

Savage Lovecast Episode 964

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/04/22

My what a busy friend! While a woman and her boyfriend were going through a painful, temporary separation, she confided in and was consoled by a male, bi friend of hers. He helped her through the difficult time. But he was also propositioning her ex-boyfriend at the same, damn time! Now that she is back together with her boyfriend, can she trust this friend again? A woman gives a compelling defense of faking orgasms. Will Dan Savage accept it? On the Magnum, Dan welcomes back the thoroughly

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51:32

Savage Lovecast Episode 963

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/04/15

A chill married lesbian is a little annoyed to hear that her consistently straight friend, engaged to a man, has announced that she is pan. She is pan, but she plans to remain monogamous with her husband. What's more, she is throwing herself a coming-out-as-pan party. When the caller came out as lesbian, she got kicked out of the house. Is she an asshole to feel less than exhilarated by her friend's new sexual identity? Yikes! Hear the unpleasant tale of the woman who shut her boyfriend's son's

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54:27

Savage Lovecast Episode 962

Savage Lovecast ·

2025/04/08

A gay man and his boyfriend are in an open relationship. His boyfriend forbids the caller from messing around with anyone in their friend group. But this friend group is super-kinky and super-horny, regularly propositioning the caller for naughty fun. It's getting hard to say no...A trans guy still has "female" on his birth certificate. He wonders if it's too dangerous to try to get it changed at this perilous moment, and also if he should be stockpiling testosterone. Dan brings on Diana Adams-

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