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PODCAST

The Chris Abraham Show

tl:dr: Just a 55-year-old cisgender white male mansplaining his own self-importance. But good. Full Summary: The musings of Chris Abraham as he aspires to know the world and himself while getting healthy, losing weight, becoming fit, and running his small business while living in South Arlington, Virginia. Walk with him a while and see what"s up.

comedy

All Episodes

00:38:20

Session 18 The Gallows of Vallaki

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/16

Urihorn slipped out at night to fetch his panther companion. The beast bounded over Vallaki’s palisade, jaws clutching a severed arm scavenged from some earlier raid. Urihorn coaxed it free and guided the cat back into hiding. Even loyalty carries blood in Barovia.By morning criers shouted charges: murder, mayhem, defiance of authority. Daermon hid among burned ruins, Urihorn scaled a rooftop with his panther. The prisoners arrived bound in a cart. Radley wore a heavy iron mask that blinded him

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00:06:49

Session Eighteen: Gallows, Ravens, and the Wrath of...

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/16

In Vallaki, justice is never blind. It is theater, staged with gallows and blood to frighten a weary people into obedience.Barovia wastes nothing, not even prisoners. Only a day after Radley the Eldritch Knight and Traxidor the Cleric were captured by Wachter’s men, the town square filled with hammers and wood. Gallows rose before the eyes of Vallaki’s beaten citizens. Here there are no cells and no juries — only spectacle, execution, and fear.At the Blue Water Inn, Daermon the Arcane Trickster told

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00:16:33

The Death of Charlie Kirk and America’s Two Wars

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/14

The rifle crack that killed Charlie Kirk in Utah was an earthquake. He collapsed with a wound to the neck, was rushed to a hospital, and pronounced dead. But as with any quake, the most dangerous part isn’t the first tremor. It’s the aftershocks — the cheers, denunciations, and cries of martyrdom — that destabilize what remains.The quake itself is clear: a man shot from a rooftop. The aftershocks are harder. They reveal that America is split not just by politics but by two different realities.On the

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00:05:59

Charlie Kirk Aftershocks: America's Two Wars of Meaning

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/14

The provided text, "Aftershocks: Charlie Kirk’s Assassination and the Two Wars of America," analyzes the profound societal divisions exposed by Charlie Kirk's assassination, highlighting how this event functions as a prism for understanding America's fractured perspectives on "war." It argues that the "aftershocks" of Kirk's death reveal two distinct battlefields: one where the left perceives war as a material struggle against systemic oppression, and another where the right views it as a spiritual

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00:36:32

Wagons, Wolves, and the Arrival of Urihorn Tenpenny

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/03

From wagon crashes to mob justice, Barovia trades one fallen paladin for a halfling with a grudge — and nothing is ever as simple as it seems.Barovia wastes nothing. Not even grief. Barely half an hour after Sören Ironwood, our radiant paladin, was executed by Vallaki’s Reeve, the survivors were forced to stagger forward without him. Traxidor the Cleric, Radley the Eldritch Knight, and Daermon the Arcane Trickster retreated to the Blue Water Inn, once a lively place but now silent under Lady

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00:05:38

Vallaki's Reckoning: A Gamble for Freedom

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/09/03

This excerpt from "message.txt" details a Dungeons & Dragons role-playing session, specifically Session Seventeen, on August 30, 2025. The narrative follows four player characters—Urihorn Tenpenny (Halfling/Beastmaster), Radley (Human/Eldritch Knight), Traxidor (Half Elf/Cleric of Light), and Daemon Cobain (Elf/Arcane Trickster)—as they navigate the perilous town of Vallaki. The adventurers are tasked with retrieving a wedding dress for the Abbot and become embroiled in the town's

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00:49:13

The Fall of Sören Ironwood in Vallaki

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/08/27

Introduction: Welcome back! This week, we recount a grim session from our Barovia campaign, where "even divine wings rot into bone, and the only victories are measured by who escapes alive". Barovia, the "cursed valley" from Curse of Strahd, has "no patience for heroes," a truth cruelly reinforced in Vallaki (Vuh-LOK-kee), a city that "devours outsiders".Vallaki: A City Under Martial Law: Once Barovia's "only semi-safe haven," Vallaki is now

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00:07:51

The Vallaki Heresy and Sören Ironwood's Fall

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/08/27

This article, "Session Sixteen: Vallaki Heresy and the Fall of Sören Ironwood," details a pivotal moment in a Dungeons & Dragons campaign set in Barovia, a perilous land governed by the vampire Strahd. The narrative follows a trio of adventurers—Sören the Aasimar Paladin, Radley the Human Eldritch Knight, and Traxidor the Half-elf Cleric—as they navigate the treacherous, martial-law-controlled city of Vallaki. Their mission to retrieve a wedding dress takes a dark turn when Sören is

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00:07:32

How the West Ignited the Ukraine War

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/08/20

The provided text argues against the widely accepted narrative that Russia's 2022 invasion of Ukraine was unprovoked. It asserts that Western actions, particularly NATO's eastward expansion and interference in Ukrainian politics, served as long-term provocations. The author cites warnings from figures like George Kennan and William Burns, alongside Vladimir Putin's own statements, highlighting Russia's consistent opposition to these moves. Furthermore, the text suggests that the 2014

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00:21:13

The West Lit the Fuse in Ukraine

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/08/20

The story we’ve been told is simple: in February 2022, Vladimir Putin woke up one morning, decided to invade a peaceful, democratic Ukraine, and launched an “unprovoked war.” That’s the official narrative. But history is never that simple.From the 1990s onward, Moscow warned that NATO expansion into its backyard was a red line. Gorbachev and later Yeltsin were assured that the alliance would not creep eastward. Yet step by step—Poland, Hungary, the Baltics, talk of Georgia and Ukraine—NATO advanced

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00:29:05

Blame the Latte

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/08/16

Don’t Blame the Latte: Your Burn Rate Is Eating You AliveThe Silent Reason You’re Always BrokeThere’s a meme that won’t die: “Don’t blame me for my daily latte—it’s not why I can’t afford a house in America.” But here’s the rub: it isn’t the latte by itself. It’s the latte plus the Starbucks sandwich, the DoorDash dinner, the Amazon Prime, the Netflix, the Disney+, the YouTube TV, the Hulu, the gym membership you never use, the $1,200 phone you upgrade every two years, the Uber rides, the

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00:05:43

The High Cost of Normal

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/08/16

Your Burn Rate ProblemThe provided text, "Your Daily Latte Won't Buy You a House — But Your Burn Rate Will Keep You Broke," argues that individual spending habits, labeled "burn rate," are the primary obstacle to financial stability and wealth building, rather than small discretionary purchases like a daily latte. The author contends that many Americans have adopted an unrealistically expensive "normal" lifestyle encompassing numerous subscriptions, frequent food

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00:22:09

How America Sands Down Rebellion

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/08/16

America doesn’t crush its radicals—it deburrs them. Like a machinist running a grinder over sharp metal, the state and culture don’t always smash rebellion outright. Instead, they smooth its edges until it no longer cuts. This is how dissent is turned into fashion, slogans into branding, and movements into memories.Think about the radicals of the 1960s. The Black Panthers, the Weather Underground, even SDS—groups that once terrified middle America. Within a generation, the Panthers’ leather jackets

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00:07:20

Deburring Radicals into Hegemony's Mascots

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/08/16

The provided text explores how hegemony neutralizes revolutionary figures and movements by "deburring" them, transforming dangerous ideals into harmless, commercialized symbols. It explains that instead of outright crushing dissent, the system often rebrands revolutionaries like Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, and Che Guevara, emphasizing palatable aspects while erasing their more radical or threatening messages. This process extends to religious figures such as Francis of Assisi and

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00:27:22

How America Grinds Difference Into Flavor

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/08/16

America calls it pluralism, but too often it feels like something else entirely. What looks and feels like racism or cultural hostility is frequently the machinery of assimilation doing its work: the endless sanding down of edges until difference is smoothed into something palatable for the hegemon. America doesn’t usually admit this outright, but it has always been the deal. The promise of pluralism was never truly “come here and be yourself.” It was “come here and add your spice to the stew — but

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00:07:08

America's Assimilation Machine

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/08/16

The provided text critiques the American concept of pluralism, arguing that it functions as a hegemonic assimilation process rather than genuine co-existence of cultures. It suggests that while outwardly appearing to embrace diversity, America metaphorically "sands down" cultural differences until they are merely superficial "flavor" added to a dominant "American" base. The author contends that what is often labeled "racism" is, in fact, this persistent

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00:34:12

A Chicken in the Pot to the Kardashians

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/08/16

Once the dream was a chicken in every pot and a car in the driveway. Today it’s Kardashians, crypto, and curated excess—fantasies without a staircase.The American Dream used to be modest, and that was its strength. A chicken in every pot, a house in the suburbs, a car in the garage, kids who might do a little better than their parents. It wasn’t glamorous, but it was believable. A ladder you could climb rung by rung: steady work, a paid-off mortgage, kids who graduated without a lifetime of

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00:07:10

The Dream Without a Ladder

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/08/16

The provided text explores how the concept of the American Dream has transformed from a modest, achievable ideal to an unattainable fantasy. Historically, the dream involved realistic goals like homeownership and financial stability, symbolized by the phrase "a chicken in every pot," which connoted dignity and modest comfort. However, the source argues that economic shifts and the rise of social media have distorted this vision, promoting extravagant wealth as the standard of success

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00:21:36

Trump's Second Term Purge

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/08/15

Donald Trump’s first term in office felt, to many, like a burst of cultural backlash—loud, brash, and ultimately blunted. He entered Washington in 2017 promising to “drain the swamp,” but underestimated how deep and tangled the roots ran. The permanent bureaucracy, the NGO network, and the sprawling infrastructure of media-linked soft power endured. By the time Joe Biden took office in 2021, the so-called “intercom” —the elite feedback loop of agencies, think tanks, activist nonprofits, and friendly

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00:06:44

Trump's Second Term Purge [Video]

The Chris Abraham Show ·

2025/08/15

The provided text, "Cutting Out the Rot," discusses a hypothetical second term for Donald J. Trump, focusing on his alleged intent to enact a widespread purge of federal agencies and institutions. The author suggests that unlike his first term, where he merely "shouted at the choir," this time Trump would employ a "scorched-earth doctrine" to dismantle what he perceives as an "Intercom" of entrenched opposition within the government. This includes mass

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202 results

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