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PODCAST

Life Change’s 2018-2024

Elaina Brady Redmond

Learning to heal from past experiences that will never go away, you just learn to be okay with it. Memories you would like to forget, and memories you would like to keep that always gets overshadowed. Healing from survival mode and many trauma experiences can take years. You may never fully heal, but you learn to be more gentle with yourself in the process.

society & culture personal journals

All Episodes

00:00:21

Called somebody

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

All of us have been in that moment when you get that certain phone call. You don’t need to answer because you already know. Your whole body already knows, but your mind is in denial, until you actually see for yourself that it’s real. That one phone call will stay with you forever. You will replay that day in your mind, wishing everything was different.

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00:00:23

The chandelier

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

The chandelier light starts to dim, until there is no more light. All you see is the shadow of someone you once knew. The shell of the body that doesn’t look the same. Holding back the grief until you can’t take it any more. Watching the slide show of memories doesn't help at all. You have to step outside to pull yourself together, to pretend your okay, when you are not okay.

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00:00:24

Missing piece

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

When people that you were close to you pass away, that piece of you goes with you. Those pieces that leave with that individual become a missing piece and it can’t be replaced or returned. Each day you are reminded of those missing pieces. A certain perfume or song reminds you of this person. The grief of remembering someone you can’t talk to or hug. Reality hits when you can’t see them. A reality that doesn’t feel real.

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00:00:33

Dark thought

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

When seven people in the last six years have passed away, you begin to have dark thoughts. You are so deep in grief, where do you begin? How do you heal? How do you move on? Then you find out two members in your family are sick. One has kidney failure and the other one has a rare lung disease. What do you do? You feel lost as well as stuck. How much do you have to go through, to have peace. To let the ones close to you be in peace. What is the process for this? Is there a process for this? Or do I

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00:00:31

Now you want to come back

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

Of course when the narcissist runs out of supply, they always come back. They don’t come back to change but to cause drama. They live for the drama and destroying little or what was left of what that person had. They like to make a big deal, lie to destroy someone's reputation. They are friends with everyone, to cover themselves until they get caught. Then once they get caught, they turn into a little kid blaming everyone for their problems. How does it feel to get your own taste of your own

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00:00:29

A mother could be great

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

A lot of people wish we could have best friends who are mothers, our first best friend, but for the majority of us it doesn’t happen that way. Having someone to teach you what to expect, how the female body works, and what to do when that happens. Most of us have to learn on our own what should be normal of what is happening, and what isn’t normal of what is happening. A mother should be great, should never leave you or turn your back on you. To pretend like you don’t exist or you don’t belong to

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00:00:28

Put myself first

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

Learning how to put myself first, it took me a long time to get here, it took me years to feel whole. To share my story, the good and bad, and to accept how things are. Nothing will be like how it was before, but that does mean you can’t make it better. Finding myself, going to therapy was the best thing I ever did for myself. I am happy to be where I am in my life, and understanding how a narcissist can really affect your health. Breaking away from a narcissistic person was the best thing I ever

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00:00:31

Wonder her worth

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

Why does everyone try to silence you, or pretend they know about a situation that they overheard. When they don’t know anything at all. They are making up nonsense and making scenes to benefit them, when in the end it burned them. The situation they overheard, they don’t know the whole story, but everyone who was their group of friends and including them chose to run with it. Now everyone involved looks like fools, except for the person who was the target. That individual knew their worth, that’s

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00:00:30

A mother could stay

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

No matter what you, the individual will always slip away, acting like nothing happened. You are the delusional one, you either don’t have all the facts, or the facts are not correct. Around mother’s day or any holiday will hurt, but it's better to do without. Grieving for a person who is still alive and didn’t give a damn about you. This is a totally different type of grief. A type of grief that never goes away. Enjoy the holidays you have, because many don’t have that option.

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00:00:30

Everything had to be earned

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

No matter how much you did, nothing ever felt good enough. Any compliment given felt like there was something bad behind it. This was where pleasing people came in, everyone but yourself went first. Not no more, you finally learned to put yourself first. You learned how to love yourself and take care of yourself. Nothing has been earned any more, because you do everything on your own terms.

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00:00:30

You’re love isn’t free

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

According to a narcissist you have to earn their love, their love language is to buy gifts. You can replace gifts, but you can’t replace this person. Their love is fake and requires you to follow their rules or they will discard you. You never once belonged to them or existed. It’s called hard life, in which the body gets stuck in flight or fight mode and eventually gets stuck. Once the individual learns to leave, the body will go into shock, but eventually will learn to rewire itself for the better

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00:00:29

Made something of myself

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

I moved on with my life, I worked on myself. I am getting my bachelors degree. I made something of myself, I will never let you take credit for my success. That if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be where I am. You did give me the skills to succeed, but I went out on my own to create my own success. Controlling everything and thinking you did everything, when you did only what was required are two different things. I found a way out, and I learned how to heal. I did what was best for myself and no one

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00:00:25

Words fall flat

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

No matter what this person said, never once could you take them for their word. That’s why there was no contact or relationship. This person would be nice to everyone around them, but switch like a light switch. This person didn’t want anyone around them to know how awfully they could be, or the actual truth of what was going on. Fear was their best friend and has always been their best friend. Never trust one word from this person.

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00:00:34

Leaving us in your past

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

They will always tell you, you should be over it by now. It was the past, what is wrong with you? You are only doing this for sympathy or attention or that never happens. I don’t remember that happening that way. A narcissist will have a select memory, to remember any wrongdoing they did. Was it easier for you to leave us in your past, so you could find someone new? You could destroy someone else's life or you would say I am going to adopt someone else to replace you. It’s the same old game, it

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00:00:28

Restore my faith

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

Finding the strength to let go, to be my own. To finally let go of what has been hurting me all this time. It took me a long time to get out of this dark hole. My faith was restored, I thought clearly. Never again would I put myself through all of that hell. I did have trust issues. Dealing with trauma you will learn to accept it and be okay with it, but it will go away. The trauma will always come in waves, even if you are completely healed, it still comes back.

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00:00:24

I remember your back

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

The memories are like a kaleidoscope coming back in moments where everything seems fine. Once that person turns their back on you, they will go on to find another supply. The cycle will start all over again. They will never admit they did wrong, they aren’t the problem. They will always blame everyone else. Is that how narcissists work? All you will ever remember is them turning their back towards you and walking away.

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00:00:26

The shoe fits

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

Some people need to put themselves in other people’s shoes for once. To understand how they live and why their life is the way that it is. Never judge a book by its cover because you never know what is going on behind closed doors. I know all of us get caught up in life and do make assumptions, but you really never know what they are facing. What battles they have fought with no one knowing, why they still choose to be happy and positive. They know life can bring them lemons and they chose to make

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00:00:23

Petty things

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

I am not afraid to be petty or put you in your place. When I am petty I do it in the most respectful way, which a lot of people think doesn't exist but it does. I choose to prove a point and show how their actions do have consequences. You can’t tell someone to not be petty, when you were doing it too. If you don’t like being put in your place, maybe you should think about the consequences next time

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00:00:55

Past me

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

Having three illnesses with no cure, if you never had three chronic conditions then shut it. You don’t know what you are talking about or you will never experience this. Stop acting like you have all the experience or know everything, you want to know why many people go quiet. It’s because people who are arrogant and claim to know everything and how everything should be and also put labels on everything. No wonder why there have been reports or claims made against you. Some people have no heart or

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00:00:39

Tug of war

Life Change’s 2018-2024 ·

2025/05/25

Knowing you have always been on your own and done everything on your own. There was never a tug of war. Knowing you can make it, but also knowing that no one will ever understand your situation. Plus with so many things added to your plate and going through so much. You feel alone and you start to feel this tug of war that is pulling at your body. You feel the weight, the stress but you fake being okay or happy because once they know you’re not okay. You get labeled as everything in your head or you

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