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The Beer Engine

Every bar worth its salt has its regulars. Cheers had Cliff and Norm, Moe"s had Barney and Homer and Lenny and Carl and the guy with the hat and the green vest and that one balding guy (?). Barstool Sports has that maniac who rates pizza and goes on alt-right tirades. Hey, but what if the regulars came to you and maybe the conversations were recorded? Maybe they talked about their beers, and they might have unusual hobbies or know too much about buying beer on the internet. Tony and Griff are the

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All Episodes

78:04

one point seven nine….on untappd

The Beer Engine ·

2025/04/10

Well, I'll be! That is one extremely low rated beer by the Miller Brewing Company. Congrats! Today we talked about Tony’s time at GABS, how to order food for takeout for the future and Australian triple doublers. Griff is back on the pastry stouts and Michael's Pizza, it's like 2018 all over again on this show! Then there is this week's bracket, which features some of the saddest beers you can buy at the Dollar General. ★ Support this podcast ★

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125:35

#1 Chicago Pizza Place Champion

The Beer Engine ·

2025/04/03

Looks like the Beer Engine Pod wasn't the only ones out there doing a bracket. The fine City of Chicago and their elusive Mayor have selected their favorite pizza place and it is the Pizza Group's most beloved spot. You'll just have to listen to find out. Anyways we also had some beers this week, Griff went psycho mode on Beers of the Week and a fun region in the bracket game that will have you enjoying some precious memories.★ Support this podcast ★

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108:05

ONE POINT EIGHT THREE ON UNTAPPD

The Beer Engine ·

2025/03/27

The bracket contest is BACK! Everyone’s favorite segment returns at the end of this show. The well is stocked with magazines and toys and Tony is doing his “very best” to keep out of there as he has to guess which is better: Michelob Golden Ultra Light Gold Bock, or Natty Daddy ICE Baddie? Good luck binch! Anyways, Tony and I spent way too much time on Bulls crap and we had a highly disjointed AF1 update of the week - it seems like the league has been around for years and yet they’ve only

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109:41

Splitting the G - Can it Really be Done???

The Beer Engine ·

2025/03/13

I’m only giving it that title so we can catch some of those beautiful viral downloads. We need them! We kicked off our new segment today, as promised, with the AF1 Update of the Week. Another banger as usual where I had no idea where anyone was and we did a word count check and a BET. Also some amazing St. Patrick’s Day content, the return of U*tra R**ht Beer to Fox News (hint: lawsuit), and Chicago Bulls - NBA Champions? Probably not. But we did have some fun with Guinness and meet some

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113:11

The Koch Industries Southwest Kansas Salina Wichita...

The Beer Engine ·

2025/03/06

We have been forced to give up the XFL / UFL Update of the Week. Sadly, losing famous sportswriter uhh…that guy, has left us with no choice. Without 9000 words per week on each of my favorite games, and some of the worst puns I’ve ever heard, there’s really no point. No, it’s time to shift over to Kansas’s #1 sports league - the Arena Football One, sponsored by Hulk Hogan. We discuss the upcoming format changes coming due to our new relationship with AF1. Oh and also there was a bunch of

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106:38

Ernest Goes to the Pentagon

The Beer Engine ·

2025/02/27

Ahh, another week in Boingo’s America, or Tony’s America? This week we talk about the Tonysphere hitting the USA (“sir, another weird guy that Tony watches on TV has hit the cabinet”). Griff puts in overtime at the Stamp and pays the price for a few hours. Tony gets super sweaty, and so do some of the beers. And an absolutely unnecessary rant on aging NBA wings.We also participate in a TOTALLY NON-BEER related game called “Ernest Gets a Beer Contract.” or something, I forgot already. Did

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128:22

Fascist Beer Wars

The Beer Engine ·

2025/02/20

It's important for us to cover these shelf battles between Hulk Hogan, an “every day carry” gun and holster company, and the Conservative Dad. Who else will give you the updates you need on these weirdos who all made the same cheap shitty beer marked up by 300%? That's right, it's the Beer Engine. We also use our journalist bonafides to cover the newly created “American Craft Beer Hall of Fame” which, coincidentally, did not induct The Hulkster. Who was more influential: Rasheed Wallace or

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117:06

Cabinet Nominees Hot or Not

The Beer Engine ·

2025/02/13

A just-in-time “Big Game” preview from the fellas this week, as they break down all of the most important things that happened over just THIS WEEK. Only THIS WEEK was considered! The RECENT basketball trades were discussed as were the most interesting pizza content from THIS WEEK, THIS ONE! Plus, some major fallout from the Drippies that appeared to be loaded with metaphor, unintelligible to our poor hosts. There was a bracket contest in here too, so if you love that stuff, you’re gonna be

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97:23

The Drippies 2025 Featuring Jon and Seth!

The Beer Engine ·

2025/01/30

The big awards day is here! We have an amazing opening act from Jon and the “Gonna Make Somebody Sick” Singers that you are absolutely gonna love! Then 12 of the most important beer and beverage and food awards on earth are handed out to our very best and brightest in the beer, pizza and posting industries. Who is gonna win? Will it be Jack Plaporotis or Joe Peeperootis???? Will it be Half Acre or Side Project or Carton or Revolution or Maffco??? Will it be raw onions on pizza or raw cheese

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92:18

Seven Riddles for Seven Days

The Beer Engine ·

2025/01/23

The days of the week might seem mundane, but hidden within their names lies a world of cryptic clues waiting to be unraveled. From celestial bodies to Norse gods, each day carries a secret story. Ready to flex your puzzle-solving muscles? Letâ€™s explore the week in riddles, one cryptic clue at a time.Sunâ€™s blaze leads the wayA fiery orb in the sky lends its name to the first day. Ancient cultures worshipped it as a life-giver, while modern calendars make it the day of restâ€”or brunch,

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110:27

Eating Dinner With Beloved Family

The Beer Engine ·

2025/01/16

The rising price of eggs is absolutely maddening, and it feels like an unnecessary burden on everyday people. Eggs, a staple in most households, have become a luxury item for many families, forcing tough choices between affordability and nutrition. What used to be a reliable, low-cost source of protein has been turned into another example of how basic needs are increasingly out of reach. It's infuriating to see prices soar without clear solutions or accountability from those who hold the

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123:58

Ooh Wah Ah Ah Ah!

The Beer Engine ·

2025/01/09

Here’s a playful parody of Drowning Pool’s “Bodies” reimagined as “Let the Blondies Hit the Floor” and themed around the sweet, gooey dessert:Let the Blondies Hit the Floor (Parody of "Bodies")Verse 1: Something's wrong with the pan, it’s hot! Can’t stop the batter, mixin’ up a lot. Sticky and sweet, don’t overbake, Feel the caramel start to quake!Pre-Chorus: It’s the sugar! (Pour it in!) It’s the butter! (Let it spin!) It’s the chocolate chips! (Mix 'em in!) Make it thick, and let

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91:09

I’m Done With Them

The Beer Engine ·

2025/01/02

Emma Callahan is a proud Chicago native who runs a cozy neighborhood pizzeria, lovingly carrying on her late grandfather's legacy of making authentic Chicago-style thin-crust pizza. Her passion for the craft extends beyond her shop; she’s an active member of the Facebook group "Chicago-style Thin Crust Pizza We Don't Call It %avern Style," a tight-knit but fiery online community dedicated to celebrating Chicago's unsung hero: the thin crust pizza.Enter Liam Harper, a food blogger and recent

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109:23

Hot Snuffleupagus

The Beer Engine ·

2024/12/12

Here’s a possible plot for a movie called Bogan Frosty:In the rugged outback town of Frosty Gully, notorious local bogan (Australian hillbilly) Mick “Frosty” Frost lives a chaotic life of beer-fueled mischief, dirt-track racing, and endless brawls at the pub. Frosty is the kind of guy everyone loves to hate—loud, brash, and always at the center of trouble. But when a big-city mining corporation threatens to destroy the town’s beloved watering hole and the surrounding bushland to dig for

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123:02

We Forgot It Was Thanksgiving Today aka Creamed...

The Beer Engine ·

2024/11/29

It's definitely cool that The Beer Engine Podcast went out of their way to record content for their listeners around Thanksgiving. They have a history of engaging their audience with fun and quirky holiday-themed content, such as episodes featuring games related to Thanksgiving foods, beer discussions, and light-hearted banter about holiday traditions. For example, episodes like "Mashed Potato Time" and "Creamed Onions" from previous years brought festive cheer to their listeners by

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129:08

The Jones Brothers Meet a Tiger

The Beer Engine ·

2024/11/21

If Alan Jones, the Australian media personality known for his conservative views and often controversial commentary, met Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist and founder of Infowars, over a 75-cent beer, it would likely be an intense and entertaining interaction.Here’s how such a meeting might unfold:Shared Conservative Views: Both Alan and Alex share right-wing ideologies, though they often express them in different ways. Alan is known for his provocative political commentary and influence

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107:07

Sammy Da Bulls

The Beer Engine ·

2024/11/07

If Sammy "The Bull" Gravano played for the Chicago Bulls, it would definitely make for an interesting and unlikely scenario. Instead of basketball plays, you could imagine Gravano pulling off "plays" in a much different way—using his street smarts and strategic thinking, honed from his time as a notorious mobster, to outwit opponents.On the court, Gravano's toughness and ability to stay calm under pressure might translate into a gritty, no-nonsense style of play. He might not have the

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119:37

420 North by Midwest

The Beer Engine ·

2024/10/31

The perfect weather day in the Midwest features clear blue skies and a gentle breeze, with temperatures around the mid-70s°F. Friends gather for a picnic in a spacious field, enjoying cold beers while lounging on blankets. Nearby, a couple of friendly llamas roam, adding a quirky charm to the scene. Their soft wool and curious nature invite laughter as everyone takes turns feeding them treats. The low humidity keeps the air crisp and refreshing, making it an ideal day for leisurely

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25:42

Live from Las Vegas, it's Wednesday Night

The Beer Engine ·

2024/10/10

Griff & Tony and a special guest discuss the goings on in Las Vegas over a delicious drink.★ Support this podcast ★

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113:06

Shoe’d In

The Beer Engine ·

2024/09/26

In Shoe’d In, two quirky best friends, Tony and Griff, hit Vegas with dreams of striking it rich at the blackjack tables. Tony is a hopeless romantic who’s always been unlucky in love, while Griff is a thrill-seeking gambler with a penchant for wild ideas. Their trip takes an unexpected turn when they encounter an ancient, sentient blackjack shoe named Ace at a run-down casino on the outskirts of town. Ace is no ordinary casino artifact—he’s a wisecracking, smooth-talking shoe with the

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