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PODCAST

The Kink Perspective

The Kink Perspective

The Kink Perspective looks at BDSM through psychology, not performance. It’s an honest examination of power, connection, and what really shapes relationships inside kink, without romanticizing dysfunction or avoiding hard truths. Hosted by Chris C, trauma-focused psychotherapist with more than two decades of lifestyle experience. Donate Here Direct link for donation: https://donate.stripe.com/aEU4hz39QaFG3Mk9AG

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

00:40:29

Season 4 Episode 36 - Kink, Community, and the...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/09/16

On today’s show, I discuss how the rise of silencing, exclusion, and conformity is affecting kink communities. We look at the psychology of groupthink, the danger of rhetoric turning violent, and why protecting difference is essential to the foundations of BDSM. At its heart, kink depends on consent, creativity, and dignity. When fear takes their place, the culture erodes. This episode is a call to remember what kink was built for and to ask what kind of community we want to create together.Continue

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00:40:25

Season 4 Episode 35 - Jealousy, Envy, and the Digital...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/09/09

On today’s show, I discuss the sting of jealousy and envy in the digital age, and how even a simple like on social media can trigger deep insecurities. We’ll break down the difference between jealousy and envy, explore how exclusivity is tested in public spaces, and talk about practical ways to respond when those pangs hit. I’ll also bring this into the kink and D/s dynamic, where attention and validation carry heightened meaning.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to

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00:57:03

Season 4 Episode 34 - My Interview with Redwarrior...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/09/02

On today’s show, I sit down with redwarrior, a Leatherwoman, author, teacher, and titleholder who has been part of the BDSM community for decades. We talk about what first drew her into the lifestyle, how she discovered her roles as both sadist and masochist, dominant and submissive, and her passion for the Leather community. We explore her views on submission as a spiritual path, the psychology of risk and surrender, the ethics of conditioning in power exchange, and what it means to integrate dual

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00:33:57

Season 4 Episode 33 - Gender, Power, and the Pressure...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/08/26

On today’s show, I discuss how social pressure and conditioning shape the way we experience power dynamics in kink. We’ll look at why curiosity about crossing the slash often collides with fear, shame, and self-judgment, and how internalized expectations can hold us back from exploring roles that might feel authentic. This episode challenges the idea that our choices are purely personal and asks whether we’re living by desire or by the mold we were handed.Continue the discussion on Fetlife:

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00:37:48

Season 4 Episode 32 - The Messy Middle: Between New...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/08/18

On today’s show, I discuss the messy middle of kink, that stage where the thrill of being new has faded but you do not yet feel fully grounded. We explore what this phase looks like, why it often feels awkward or isolating, and how psychology helps explain identity drift, loss of novelty, and comparison traps. I also talk about how to reframe this stage as a chance to clarify values and build depth, not as a failure. And at the end of the episode, I share this week’s segment of You’re Famous Now,

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00:34:50

Season 4 Episode 31 - Reclaiming Kink After Abuse...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/08/11

On this episode, I discuss the real process of reclaiming your kink after it has been used to harm you. From understanding the unique impact of abuse in kink, to navigating the messy middle of recovery, to taking small steps toward safety and choice, this conversation is about rebuilding trust in yourself and others without losing the parts of you that still want to feel and play. I also introduce a new segment to the show, “You’re Famous Now,” where I share and reclaim some of the more colorful

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00:25:31

Season 4 Episode 30 - When Sadism Becomes the Self...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/08/04

On today’s show, I discuss what happens when sadism shifts from a chosen erotic expression to the only way a top feels seen, safe, or connected. We’ll explore how dominance can begin with presence and intention, but over time, turn into emotional regulation or even identity. This episode isn’t about shame, it’s about reflection. I’ll walk through the psychological dynamics that can make control feel necessary, the signs that dominance may be replacing vulnerability, and how to return to sadism as

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00:39:15

Season 4 Episode 29 - Being Outed – The Cost of...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/07/28

On today’s show, I discuss what happens when someone in the kink community is outed, whether by carelessness or intent, and why it’s a serious breach of trust and consent. I share real stories, including my own recent experience, and explore the psychological fallout, community responsibility, and the quiet ways outing erodes safety. This episode isn’t about drama, it’s about the ethics we claim to live by and how we show up when someone’s privacy is violated. Whether you’re visible or private in

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00:37:36

Season 4 Episode 28 - Pickup Play, Negotiation, and...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/07/22

On this episode, I discuss what happens when BDSM and swinger cultures overlap in shared spaces, and why the differences between them matter. Prompted by a listener’s question, I break down how consent, structure, and intention can quickly get blurred in environments that weren’t built with kink ethics in mind. From navigating pickup play to holding your values in sexually open venues, this episode is about staying grounded, clear, and responsible, especially when no one else around you is.Continue

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00:39:25

Season 4 Episode 27 - Living with Agency, Not...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/07/15

On today's show, I discuss the often misunderstood concept of agency, what it is, what it isn’t, and why so many people unknowingly live without it. We explore how agency gets eroded through trauma, family systems, cultural roles, and relationship dynamics, including in kink and power exchange. I break down the difference between agency and control, autonomy, rebellion, and codependency, and offer real steps for reclaiming your voice and choices, even when it costs you. This episode isn’t about

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00:46:25

Season 4 Episode 26 - Emotional Needs and Navigating...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/07/08

On today's show, I discuss the challenge of feeling like you're "too much" in relationships, especially when your emotional and sexual needs aren't being met. We explore how emotional needs are not too big but are often about finding the right compatibility with someone who can truly meet you where you are. Whether you’re in a traditional or BDSM relationship, understanding your own needs and recognizing emotional compatibility is key.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to

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00:37:20

Season 4 Episode 25 - The Urge to Lose...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/06/30

On today’s show, I discuss what it really means when someone feels the urge to lose. To give in, fold, apologize, or beg for forgiveness, not out of peace but out of fear. We look at the collapse response as a survival strategy, not a flaw, and explore how it shows up in both vanilla and kink relationships. I break down the difference between collapse and submission, why disappearing can feel safer than standing up, and how early emotional conditioning shapes this pattern. If you’ve ever felt like

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00:29:50

Season 4 Episode 24 - Trauma Bonding in Relationships...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/06/23

On today’s show, I discuss trauma bonding, what it is, how it forms, and why it feels so powerful. We take a clinical and grounded look at the psychological mechanisms behind trauma bonding, from intermittent reinforcement to early survival adaptations shaped by attachment wounds. I break down how these patterns show up in both vanilla relationships and kink dynamics, where power exchange can sometimes blur the line between healthy vulnerability and trauma reenactment. We cover the red flags to

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00:38:45

Season 4 Episode 23 - Love Bombing: Intensity Isn’t...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/06/17

On today’s show, I discuss the reality behind love bombing: what it is, why it works, and how it shows up in both vanilla and kink dynamics. We’ll look at the psychology behind the behavior, the emotional impact on the person receiving it, and the signs you might already be in it without realizing. From rushed intimacy to coercive affection, I break down how love bombing can distort consent, erode pacing, and blur the line between connection and control. Whether you're a Dom, sub, or just

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00:36:00

Season 4 Episode 22 - When the Terms Change...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/06/10

On today’s show, I discuss what happens when the relationship you built no longer fits the life you’re living now. I explore the need for renegotiation, not because something is broken, but because people change. From emotional contracts and outdated roles to attachment patterns and the psychology of growth, I break down why honest check-ins matter and how to approach them without fear. Whether you're in a vanilla marriage, a long-term D/s dynamic, or somewhere in between, this episode offers

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00:39:09

Season 4 Episode 21 - Erotic Mismatch in...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/06/02

On today’s show, I discuss what happens when love and erotic identity don’t align. Can a relationship survive when one partner is kinky and the other isn’t? I explore the emotional split, the impact of performative dynamics, the hope that love can “convert” desire, and the quiet cost of suppressing who you are to stay connected. This is an honest look at erotic mismatch, self-abandonment, and what it really means to compromise.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit

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00:41:36

Season 4 Episode 20 – The Rise of...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/05/27

On today’s show, I discuss the growing misuse of trauma language in kink education and why it’s more than just a trend. From burnout worksheets shared without context to influencers offering therapy-adjacent advice without credentials, we’re exploring where personal experience stops and clinical responsibility begins. I break down the differences between trauma-informed and trauma-specific work, the risks of therapeutic mimicry, and how unqualified voices are reshaping safety in BDSM communities

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00:29:00

Season 4 Episode 19 - Ghosting, Autonomy, and the...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/05/20

In this episode, I return to a topic I covered early on: rejection resilience. This time, I’m taking a direct look at ghosting. We explore the difference between hurt and harm, why not every disappearance is an act of betrayal, and how emotional entitlement shows up in the aftermath. For those in the BDSM community, where intensity and vulnerability run deep, ghosting can feel like a violation. But is it always? I break down why autonomy includes the right to walk away, how we confuse discomfort

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00:34:07

Season 4 Episode 18 - The Slow Burn of Resentment in...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/05/13

On today’s episode, I discuss how resentment takes root in power exchange relationships and why it often goes unnoticed until real damage is done. I explore the emotional cost of silence, how forgiveness gets misused, and why avoiding conflict can slowly erode trust and connection. This is a conversation about clarity over comfort, and what it really takes to keep a dynamic emotionally honest and sustainable.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button

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00:28:15

Season 4 Episode 17 – Craving Punishment: BDSM,...

The Kink Perspective ·

2025/05/06

On today’s show, I discuss the eroticism of punishment, and why, for many, it’s not about pain but about being seen. I explore how early attachment wounds, shame, and emotional neglect can shape our adult desires, especially in kink and power exchange dynamics. This episode dives into the psychology of arousal, trauma reenactment, and the thin line between healing and compulsion. Whether you’re a Dominant, submissive, or just curious about where your cravings come from, this is an invitation to

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