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Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship is for anyone who wants to make sense of the gray areas of adult friendship---changed closeness, uneven effort, group dynamics, hurt feelings, and what to say and do next. As Nina always says, "Friendship issues are ageless and timeless." You can listen and relate to these topics no matter your age or your stage of life.And Dear Nina is a top 1% podcast so we know people of all ages are listening!Whether you've agonized over a text, wondered why

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

33:04

#189 - Andrew McCarthy on Male Friendship,...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2026/03/23

“You don’t really have any friends, do you, Dad?”That’s the question that stopped Andrew McCarthy—yes, the Pretty in Pink / Mannequin/St. Elmo's Fire/"Brat Pack" Andrew McCarthy—in his tracks and led to a 10,000-mile journey to reconnect with the people he considered his closest friends. Andrew's book, Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America, is available now! In this episode, Andrew and I talk about what happens when friendships quietly drift

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25:18

#188 - Take an Honest Look at Your Friendship...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2026/03/16

When repeated friendship struggles may signal something deeper . . .I consistently hear from listeners who are struggling with friendship in ways that feel confusing or painful: repeated friendship breakups, difficulty making meaningful connections, uncertainty about whether to confront a friend or quietly drift away. While many friendship challenges are completely normal, when the same issues keep showing up again and again, there are likely deeper issues at play.In this episode, I speak with

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54:27

#187 - How ADHD Affects Adult Friendships: For People...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2026/03/09

The Friendship Side of ADHD We Don’t Talk About EnoughADHD is getting more attention right now, but one part of the conversation often gets overlooked: how ADHD affects adult friendships for the person with ADHD and for that person's friends.To learn more, I spoke with Cate Osborn and Erik Gude, the duo behind the podcast Catie and Erik’s Infinite Quest: An ADHD Adventure and co-authors of the new book, The ADHD Field Guide for Adults.We discussed the friendship side of ADHD—especially the gap

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33:12

#186 - The Friend Who Copies You: Flattering or...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2026/03/01

We're unpacking a surprisingly charged friendship dilemma I answered for Real Simple magazine: How do you handle a longtime friend who copies everything you wear and do—outfits, home decor, and more—and doesn't mention the inspiration? She just shows up in her life as the mirror image of your choices?When I answered the letter for Real Simple, I side-stepped the fashion elements of the question because I'm not a fashion-forward person, at all. I stuck to wondering why the letter write

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28:36

#185 - When Career Success Strains Your Friendships...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2026/02/22

Today we're talking about a specific and underexplored friendship challenge: what happens to your social life as your career takes off. We get right to the heart of something many ambitious women feel but rarely say out loud — that they appear socially rich on the outside while feeling quietly disconnected on the inside. We discuss why a full calendar of networking chats isn't the same as genuine connection, and how competence can become a cloak that makes others assume you don't need

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38:59

#184 - Socially Connected, Emotionally Unsettled: The...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2026/02/15

Have you ever looked at your life and thought: I have friends. I’m doing things. I’m not isolated… so why do I still feel unsettled and maybe even lonely?This week’s guest is Dr. Jeffrey Hall (and yes, I was awkwardly a bit of a fan girl for this one). Dr. Hall is a professor and department chair of Communication Studies at the University of Kansas, where he directs the Relationships and Technology Lab. He’s the author of Relating Through Technology and The Social Biome, has written for The Wall

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41:10

#183 - Are You Mad at Me? Friendship Anxiety and the...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2026/02/08

If you tend to assume someone’s upset with you when their tone shifts even slightly, when they don’t text back right away, or when you notice the smallest change in their availability, this episode is for you. And if you have a friend who is always asking, "Are you mad at me?" or assuming you're upset when you're simply living your life, then this episode will help you, too.I’m joined by licensed psychotherapist Meg Josephson, author of Are You Mad at Me?: How to Stop Focusing on

en-US

37:17

#182 - Three Phrases That Help When a Friend Is...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2026/02/01

Knowing how to show up for a friend in grief can feel overwhelming. We want to say the right thing, we don’t want to make it worse—and too often, that fear leads to silence. This episode is about finding words that help, not harm, and about staying connected when a friend’s life has been turned upside down.In this conversation, I’m joined by grief coach and author Shelby Forsythia, whose work centers on helping people navigate loss of all kinds—not only death, but also divorce, diagnosis,

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31:36

#181 - Exclusion and the Power to Build New...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2026/01/18

This week’s episode is an expansion to last week’s conversation with Dr. Noelle Santorelli about relational aggression, belonging vs. inclusion, and “mean mom groups.” The focus this week shifts from spotting unhealthy dynamics to the next (very hard) question: What should you do after you realize you’ve been excluded by the people you thought were your friends?Bestselling author Amy Weatherly returns with a mix of empathy and tough love, reminding us that adult friendship is rarely cut-and-dry

en-US

55:42

#180 - Mean Mom Culture, Relational Aggression, and...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2026/01/11

This week I have a conversation with clinical psychologist Dr. Noelle Santorelli about belonging vs. (forced) inclusion, "mean mom" culture, and relational aggression. And guess what? I recorded this interview with Dr. Santorelli BEFORE the Ashley Tisdale “toxic mom group” article from The Cut was making its way around the internet.I had to re-record my intro to this episode because not addressing the article and the aftermath would have felt off considering our topic for this one. In our

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27:15

#179 - Your Newest Friendship Questions, Answered...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2026/01/04

For the first episode of 2026, I have my mom, Kathy Sackheim, in the studio for her 6th appearance on the podcast to help me answer a stack of listener questions straight from the Dear Nina inbox.We move quickly through a range of friendship dilemmas from listeners: milestone birthday expectationsuneven effortfriend group tensionan uncomfortable confrontationa group chat blowupreaching out after a long gap since the last hangoutand what to do when a friend’s choices leave you conflicted and/or

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35:53

#178 - Top 5 Cities, Top 5 Episodes, and Friendship...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2025/12/27

It’s our annual end-of-year wrap-up, and my assistant producer Rebekah Jacobs is back for a behind-the-scenes look at what actually landed with listeners in 2025—and why.Here’s the truth: the themes we keep coming back to on Dear Nina aren’t “college friendship” or “mom friendship” or “work friendship.” It's all of the above and more. The need to be chosen, to belong, to be wanted, and the sting when we don’t feel it, is ageless and timeless.HIGHLIGHTS:The top 5 cities and top 5 counties

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33:38

#177 - The Myth of Instant College Friends (with Dr....

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2025/12/19

Finding Your People in College Takes Longer Than You Think. At some schools its even a structural problem. As students come home between semesters, some parents might be worried about kids who haven't "found their people" yet. But it's so normal for friendships to take time to form! And even when it feels like "everyone else has a group," those groups often continue to change. I spoke to Dr. Janice McCabe an associate professor of sociology at Dartmouth College, the President

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44:30

Bonus Episode: Take Back Your Social Life (Nina on...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2025/12/14

This week’s episode is a bonus! I’m sharing a conversation from when I was a guest on Dr. Adam Dorsay’s podcast, SuperPsyched. I don’t usually repost my own guest interviews, but I’m starting to sprinkle them in the feed because when I’m not the host, different things come out. Different angles. Different stories. Perhaps an even more direct way to discuss making and keeping friends. This interview was one of my favorites!Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist and executive coach in Silicon

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28:47

#176 - Divorce and the Impact on Your Friendships...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2025/12/08

I’m finally tackling a topic I’ve been wanting to cover for a long time: how divorce affects our friendships. Today's episode addresses both sides of this question--whether you’re the one going through a divorce or you’re watching a friend go through it. Either way, the social fallout can feel confusing, lonely, and awkward.I’m joined by Hope Lutz Firsel, a women’s life coach who specializes in divorce. Hope has seen every version of this experience up close. She’s guided countless women through

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14:20

#175 - December (the final!) Friendship Challenge:...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2025/12/01

The final friendship challenge of the year is to write one friend a real letter. This was inspired by the novel I'm currently reading and loving--The Correspondent by Virginia Evans.Yes, it can be typed and even sent via email. But this NOT a text saying, “I hope you’re well" or "I miss you." Write an honest, thoughtful note saying:Here’s why you matter to me. . . OrI keep thinking about the time you . . . My year was better because you . . . I’m grateful for the way you. . . This

en-US

36:57

#174 - The Neuroscience of Feeling Seen, Ignored, or...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2025/11/25

I'm thrilled to welcome Dr. Ben Rein, neuroscientist and author of Why Brains Need Friends: The Neuroscience of Social Connection. We discuss what friendship does to your brain and why loneliness is SO damaging over time. We cover why introverts still need connection (just in smaller “doses”), why ghosting and quiet quitting in friendships can land so harshly, what’s really behind jealousy when friends succeed, (plus how to override it), and the science of that instant “friendship chemistry”

en-US

43:39

#173 - What Makes a Friendship Last: Lessons from 40...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2025/11/17

The Real Work Behind Lifelong FriendshipThis week I’m joined by two women who accidentally went viral on social media, but they've been doing the real work of close friendship for over four decades. I'm a BIG fan and begged them to let me examine their friendship on the show. Meet Jenn Sherman (who you might know from Peloton) and Pam “Sunny” Sunshine who are the best friends behind the popular @sunnyandjenn accounts on TikTok and Instagram.Jenn and Pam's story is fun (truly wild TikTok

en-US

48:52

#172 - What “Beaches” Gets Right About Friendship...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2025/11/10

You've arrived at the best academic nerd-out ever on the movie Beaches. Find out why CC Bloom and Hillary Whitney's instant friendship chemistry, breakups and makeups, and tear-jerker ending still wrecks us (in the best way). Is there something we can still learn in 2025 about making, keeping, and losing friends from this late 80s film? Absolutely. And professors of psychology agree!My assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs, and I were thrilled to dissect Beaches and its timeless lessons on

en-US

15:04

#171 - Brighten a Friend’s Day with One Simple...

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship ·

2025/11/02

This month’s friendship challenge is all about generosity, but not the kind that empties your wallet or the type that requires a special occasion like a birthday or holiday gift. Think thoughtfulness and the joy of letting friends know you're thinking of them for no reason whatsoever. It's generosity of time and spirit merely to show friends they matter to you.A small gesture can leave a big impact. In this short episode, I share a few stories of simple, meaningful gestures from friends that

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